I awoke this morning and my feet and ankles were so stiff and curled, I could hardly force them to move. My legs are much the same and it is a chore simply to lift them out of the bed.
The toes and feet are very pink, almost purple, and it takes a few minutes to amble down the hallway to grab a cup of coffee and make my way back to bed for the heating pad on my neck and back.
I remember jumping out of bed a year ago, smiling and skipping (yes skipping) down the hall to retrieve coffee for me and my husband on a Saturday morning. I was so happy to be bouncing off the walls, and felt like I could conquer the world. Now I have to conquer my body each morning just to get moving.
It is a constant challenge – the most consistent and biggest challenges of a lifetime, just to make it through a day. I am trying to apply all that I have taught, and all that I know to be true, to keep from letting stress and depression ruin my life, and the lives of my family.
No one knows the extent of the injuries that are invisible, that is, except God. I am so grateful that I remembered that it says when I am at my weakest point; I can lean on God, because He is at His strongest.
So I pick myself up and take a breath and keep on moving. If I can share techniques that I believe in, on this website, then I can apply them to my own life – I keep reminding myself of that, and I think between the power of God from within me, and my applying all that I teach – I am moving onward and upward – even if ever so slowly! Perhaps I will indeed create new brain cell impressions.
As I sit here with the laptop (it is so difficult to sit at the desk for very long because of the pain in my back) – so I curl up and have heat on my neck and my back. When I finish with this post I will do my exercises to work on loosening and strengthening my back and legs and feet.
So if you are TRULY interested in managing stress, I have posted over two hundred posts on this website to try to legitimately help, and without cost to you – (unless you care to donate). My profession is writing, and I will be publishing books that have been in the process for years; all with a positive ring and intention of sharing a lifetime of experience, lessons, and my love for the outdoors and nature.
By the way, almost forgot. My left ankle gave out about eight days ago-I fell and broke my left wrist, and I am left-handed! Three days ago I had to have surgery on it and a plate and screws to put in to hold it together. I only have to wear a cast now for two weeks longer.
Just when you think you are overwhelmed by life, life throws another hard ball and smacks you right in the face! Guess what? You can handle more than you thought! I can too. Do I have a choice? Yes. I could be miserable, but no way! I choose healing and happiness.
My first task today is to be grateful for obvious gifts. Being grateful brings healing to a mind and spirit.
I am grateful to be alive, for the sounds of life – the train in the distance and the barking of the neighbor’s dog, for the big dog that has been right by my side each day, for a husband and a family who still love me and don’t really dwell on my disabilities now,for the mocking bird that sings so many songs to me every morning, for the fact the heat wave is over for the time being, for the ability to be able to use this website to share and to release, and for all the blessings we take for granted every day.
If you haven’t a friend, or a shrink, or anyone in the world, remember there really is a Supreme Being (how do I know – I just do without question), you have a friend on this website, and are free to comment to release your feelings, and you also can start a blog and let your feelings air. Sometimes that is healing. If you write, then read it back to yourself and clarity will come.
In the meantime, CREATE the best day for yourself you are able. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but you have the CHOICE.