Flatline. You’ve heard it before. You may connect it with someone who has died in an emergency, for instance…there is no beating of the heart on the monitor – only a flatline.
It’s easy to forget your life, and mine, are minutes away from ANYTHING! Anything can happen, and it does. Life is not motionless, nor is it forever…it is a strange phenomenon that takes us from a tiny curled infant, to various stages, and finally the age wherein an elderly person begins to “shrink and curl up “ again. It is just the way it is. A really strange thing too is that time is not without movement. Another phenomenon! It changes in our minds from as a child, feeling that it is taking too long to grow up- time moves slowly and we are full of energy and dreams, anxious to be an adult – then suddenly we are in the middle of life! In those years thoughts swirl like a whirlwind because it seems there is no time. Not enough to take a breath and relax…it seems.
From those moments, mama told me , “Life proceeds to a point wherein you are no longer the center of your world, but more of an “afterthought”. People still love you but they no longer have time to slow to your pace. Your energy levels have dropped, the body has wear and tear, and thoughts of how to maintain through the pain, take the place of dreams.
Time has two speeds. It slows to a crawl when you are alone, but when you are in the middle of “action” (as she said) time once again speeds up to accelerate full throttle. She said it also surprises you how fast those years pass to when you are considered REALLY OLD.
“I still walk by a mirror and wonder how I can be that old lady and feel so young, mostly, in my mind. I want to run and jump and play. I want to do everything. I am simply unable to do any of it. The time has passed.”
It always made me sad when mama really got these feelings out – but she needed to have someone be there with her. Time is variable. Time is elusive. Time is a conundrum. Ours lives don’t come with a guarantee. We are born, and every step we take moves us closer to death.
I am NOT negative. I am not unhappy or being sour. I am a realist. These things are true. Why did I write this today? I have no idea. Sometimes I just put my fingers on the keyboard and they fly.
However, I will take some measures today, not to waste whatever time is allotted to me. Where ever time and circumstance takes me, I will not throw my arms up in the air and say, “but I didn’t want to be here.” I will not get mad or sad or feel ANYTHING but will feel empowered today. The power knowing I HAVE CHOICES 100% OF THE TIME really is mine.
Whatever happens I am going to handle it with decorum, anticipation, and do the best I can to find joy and fun in whatever I face. I know one thing for sure. If I THINK I will be miserable there is more than a possibility – I absolutely will! Truth be told, I tried being miserable. It sucked! So I gave it up.
Now stop reading and get up, stretch and smile and rock on…..I am going out of this life happy and believing, no matter what! It is my time and I’ll do what I want with it! (Oh my gosh, I felt like an 8 year old writing that!) But it’s true. Create a beautiful day, and thank you for taking the time to read my post!