Stress Management Magic

So could I!  As sobering a thought as that is for the moment, we live our lives as if we had an excess of time to toss aside.  This is NOT negative thinking.  This is stark reality.

Let us reflect on this thought.  What if you only had twenty-four hours to live?  Seriously – take a minute to think about that scenario.  If you had twenty-four hours left on this planet earth, have you thought about what you would do?

Think about it.  Take a few deeps breaths slowly, and exhale slowly. Glance away from the computer into space, a quiet, empty space…………….

Have you been able to “vacate” your concerns for a minute or two to think about how fragile your life is; that there is no guarantee how much time you have left.

If not, then shame on you.  You are either carrying too heavy a load, or you are on a path to self-destruct by self-neglect.

It does not matter how much you declare you are trying. I’ve been there with words. I declared that too, and then right back to stressing out about how to fit everything into the almighty schedule. How precious should each moment be? That choice is yours alone to decide.

We are so consumed with things to do, with worry, that we often times allow life to evaporate before our eyes.  Each moment is one of a kind.

You have to exit “yourself ” long enough to think about the next twenty-four hours.  You may not have that long……

This is not negative or taking a submissive attitude towards current events.

Plant a small seed in your mind to remind you that if you prioritize the next twenty-four hours, believing that is all you have, you MIGHT make some changes in your schedule.

Take a moment to think of why you are working so hard.  Is it JUST to pay the credit card companies, to impress all the other people working so hard with you, or to pay the utility bills or car payment?  Is it totally towards a goal in the distant future?

Have you taken the time recently to tell someone you love him or her, or appreciate simply his or her presence? Have you really stopped long enough, without lists battering your brains, to really look into your child’s eyes and talk to them without cell phone in hand?  Think of your family.

Every very single moment should be savored and cherished.  You can make every single moment count.  Stretch your thoughts beyond all those worries that may never come to fruition.

You can still accomplish many tasks, while intervening with your denial to allow yourself pure and joyous moments, and your stress level will lessen for your effort!

Never give up, and never succumb to the panic and overwhelming concerns you have about your tasks.  Your number one task is to live as if this were the last twenty-four hours you have, and prioritize what is really important to do this day!

Now take a deep breath, exhale slowly and CREATE the moments of your life, one by one!

Take a deep breath and relax!  Inhale slowly through the nose as you read this. Now exhale slowly and quietly through the mouth.  Again, inhale through the nose, thinking: “This will give me new energy and help relax my mind.”  Exhale slowly through the mouth, thinking:  “I release negative thoughts and feelings.”

Even if you are savvy to the positive and dynamic results diaphragmatic breathing will render to your mind and body, it never hurts to review WHY we consider breathing the number one stress management technique.

When you are under stress, your muscles tense, and your breathing becomes shallow and rapid.  One of the simplest, and absolutely best) ways to stop this stress response is to breathe slowly and deeply.

Most of us do not breathe deeply under normal circumstances, so it may help to review the mechanics of deep breathing and how it helps us all to relax.

Breathing Under Stress

When our prehistoric ancestors were in danger of attack, their muscles tensed and their breathing became rapid and shallow, as they prepared to run or fight.  Their high level of tension was a means of preparing their bodies for optimum performance.

Today the causes of stress are different, but the human response to it is the same. However, since we are not running or fighting, our tension has no release and our stress response builds.  One way to counteract the stress response is to learn how to breathe deeply and slowly – the opposite of how we breathe when under stress.

Parents who have taken Bradley-Lamoze Method of Natural Childbirth have already learned the value of using our oxygen to empower us.

Deep breathing is not always natural to adults.  Watch the way a baby breathes; the area beneath the chest goes in and out.  Most adults breathe from the chest.  This is shallow breathing, so less oxygen is taken in with each breath.  As a result the blood is forced to move through the system quickly so that enough oxygen gets to the brain and organs.  Higher blood pressure is a result.

Deep breathing can reverse these effects.  Take the time to practice this deep breathing each day, especially when you are under stress. You can be sitting, standing, or lying down, but it helps to wear loose, comfortable clothing.  Begin by breathing in through your nose.  Count to five and let your lower abdomen fill with air, filling from the bottom to the top.

Hold the breath for a five second count and then as you let the air out through your mouth, let the abdomen drop in the same manner – from the bottom to the top.  With practice you can add seconds o the count.  You will increase your relaxation if you imagine breathing in ocean or the forest air.  When exhaling imagine all the stress leaving with the exhalation of the carbon dioxide.

By helping you let go of tension through this breathing, you can relieve headaches, backaches, stomachaches and sleeplessness.  It releases the body’s own painkillers, called endorphins, into the system.  It allows blood pressure to return to normal, which is good for your heart.  Deep breathing can also allow held-in emotions to come to the surface, so your emotional health benefits from this breathing too.

The really beautiful thing about this stress management technique is that (to date) you can get your supply for free.  It is also available any time and any place you need to use it.

So go ahead – take a deep breath in through the nose, hold it for five seconds – press the exhalation out through your lips, and have a better day knowing, you can help yourself instantly!  Stress reduction is possible.  Meditate.  Join a class.  Participate in managing stress by developing your breathing skills.  Always available – guaranteed success.  Be involved with your own life!  No one can begin today if you aren’t willing!  CREATE your life!

STRESS MILLIONS ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW!

There are unexpected horror stories happening right now because of the high unemployment rate in our nation.  In February alone the number of job losses (reported) is over thirty-five thousand.  It is disheartening, to say the least, to be unemployed and not be able to support yourself or a family. This is particularly true for families with children, or with only one member of the family in the work force.

Not only is it stressful because of the financial problems that are accruing, it is devastating to many relationships. Today there are many citizens who have worked all their lives and have now been unemployed, not by choice, for months.  There are a growing number of people who have also just given up, and that number isn’t even counted in the unemployment monthly figures.

After a few months of unemployment there rises a feeling of detachment to the work force. As the period of time extends   the less current the resume becomes, and the potential for a possible loss of skills can occur.

For the unemployed person there is added worry about how the bills will be paid, often boredom with too much free time, a hit to the ego, and the ever-present luring nature of having a drink to “take off the edge”. The seductive nature of alcohol is a real temptation (after all it is social and legal).  It is also easy to have a second drink because “the first one made you feel so good”. Then you think, ” perhaps another just to be social”. The ball is rolling now.

Be careful, alcohol can run you down and kill your relationships, family, and even the potential to ever work again.  Motivation is lacking with those who drink regularly – except the motivation to get another drink. Good men (and women) can get caught up in this downward spiral.  It happens all the time!

Alcohol is a VERY DANGEROUS drug. Like any drug, it has a cumulative draw.  Too much alcohol and lies are congruent.  If a person has a blackout there is a huge danger of total ruination, because of actions you can’t remember, the possibility of driving under the influence, and often times, violence.

You don’t want the unemployed person, or yourself, to have to drink and get into that “fake world” where everyone is your best friend, and you all tell each other how great you are, just to regain some confidence.  That doesn’t even take into consideration the cost of the alcohol.  These days two drinks is the same cost as if you went to the store and bought a bottle!

These truths aren’t meant to freak anyone out, but to simply elevate awareness of potential problems.  We are ALL FLAWED human beings the need to be cognizant of the pitfalls and dangers that face so many people are real. It is important for you to be on your toes if “things” seem to be changing.

Be supportive and do understand it’s tough right now.  It does not help in most situations to point out how many other people are in similar situations.  A person who has been gainfully employed can only stay home so long (particularly with children) before “stir crazy” and “cabin fever” manifest.

Remember, too, particularly a man, may not want to share his insecurity, his concern, or his feelings of failure.  As an example of how tough it is right now, there are fifty-one candidates for every one position available in construction!  That is staggering.

If you have a genetic connection to alcohol someone with alcoholic tendencies, be aware. Also, for those who simply fall into the pit by circumstance, keep the risks in mind. They are real.

So what can you really do?

1.  The first key to stress management will always be learning to use your oxygen to calm yourself down.  You will not “react” but “respond” with intellect if you slow down to breathe.  When you concentrate on your breath you will be leaving your problems for a short time.  You can only think of one thing at a time.

2.  If you are the person unemployed, listen to your mate or partner.  Really listen.  Some things they say may seem unfair to you, but be mature enough to know what is true, and work on the problems.

3.  If you are the mate or partner of the person unemployed, be patient.  Share your feelings without tearing down the other person.  Use your intellect and recognize the difference between someone who is really trying, and someone who is not.

3.  Remember fighting will not resolve anything.  It will only exacerbate the problem.  Again, use your oxygen before opening your mouth!  Don’t yell.  Everyone concerned is frustrated.

4.  Have a “production” meeting and make notes as to possible job opportunities or alternate choices that may work.

5.  STAY FLEXIBLE.  There are no guarantees of what will happen in the next moment.  The only guarantee you have is that if you turn sour or negative, you will definitely ruin your

Anger is defined as strong emotions:  wrath, aggravation, being annoyed, bothered, exasperated, furious, irritated, outraged, and antagonized.  If you are reading this there is a reason.  Please take a few slow breaths of oxygen as you continue.  Inhale slowly and exhale slowly.  You are on the right path.

The emotions, INCLUDING “a sense of injury” and a desire to retaliate, (which are sometimes disguised, even to the individual who is angry) can be dangerous emotions.   You can be almost out of control.  It happens to millions of people. However, if anger is left unmanaged, the anger can escalate to violence, and the loss of control for one moment, has the potential to destroy your life and perhaps someone else’s!  This is not an exaggeration. Statistics are a witness to acts of violence and the consequences paid.

If you feel your anger is tipping the scales, please answer the follow questions honestly.

1.  What does anger REALLY resolve?

2.  Do you REALLY want to devastate your body chemistry?

3.  Do you REALLY have good reason to hurt family, friends, and peers?

4.  Can you think of more appropriate ways to handle the situations?

5.  Is your anger REALLY aimed at someone else, or is it yourself?

Fact: Anger does not resolve anything. When you feel angry leave the room.  Go to someplace alone and do two things.  Take for to five deep breaths slowly and exhale slowly.  This concentrating on getting increased oxygen will divert your attention from the problem, for the moment.  It actually has a calming effect on your mind and body.

Fact:  When you are angry just once in a while, though the chemicals in your body are thrown into an abnormal state, the damage is not permanent.  When you get angry all the time you actually are setting yourself up for disaster, both physically, and mentally.

Fact:  While breathing to calm down, say a short prayer, or mantra several times.  Examples:  “God please help me to calm down.” or “I feel calm now.”  Say whatever you choose to help several times.

Fact:  Your angry words can cut like a knife and ultimately are capable of destroying any relationship.  Angry words lead to angry actions.  Since we are creatures of habit, if you ALLOW this anger to control you, you are jeopardizing everyone in your circle of life – including you!  Heart attacks have happened because of this negative habit!

There are better ways to handle tough scenarios.  Take a time out for finding your intellect instead of relying on emotions.  Walk away.  Seek counseling.

Have a family meeting and set rules.  There is always a better way than “lack of self-control.”

Fact:   Think of this.  Sometimes your anger may actually be misguided frustration in handling a situation that is either out of your control, or out of the realm of you actually knowing what to do.  It happens!  Anger at one’s self can be twisted and manifest as anger to another.

If you have a child, you may have felt anger when you couldn’t locate the child for a time.  Perhaps he or she was only playing somewhere out of your sight, but by the time you discovered the child your pent up WORRY had turned into anger; actually kind of a retaliation towards the child for your discomfort.

There are reasons to be angry, but do not let the anger destroy your life and ruin the lives of the people around you.  There are men and women in prison for the rest of their lives for that moment of anger that was mismanaged.

Exercise your brain to think of a way to get out of this useless “anger pit” before you dig your way into a grave.  PRACTICE new thoughts.  Even if you don’t feel satisfied at first, you must continue to try to create more positive brain cells.  If you must, take a pillow and beat it!  Get a punching bag and use it until you are exhausted, and calmer.  Go for a run.  There are alternatives to anger.

PLEASE – IF YOU NEED HELP – AND YOU KNOW IT INNATELY – GET HELP BEFORE IT ESCALATES!  There are anger management classes, social service organizations, and many other places to seek help.  Talk to someone at a church.  There is help available.

Right now:  take in a slow, deep breath (through the nose).  Hold it a few seconds remembering this will physically help to calm you down.  Exhale (through the mouth) and visualize that anger subsiding as you get rid of the carbon dioxide.  Do this again slowly.  YOUR MIND AND BODY WILL RESPOND WITH A CALMER YOU, CAPABLE OF RESPONDING AND NOT REACTING.

Anger out of control can lead to violence.  Violence can lead to irreparable damage.  In many cases anger can, and has been a straight path to jail!  Think about it and see help now if you feel out of control rage.  PLEASE!

It has been proven you can keep a sharp edge on your intellect throughout your life. Many scientists believe that the combination of a person’s innate ability, and the additional brainpower that comes from consistently challenging the mind, will manifest in what is called “cognitive reserve”.

Studies have shown that diverse and mentally stimulating tasks result in more brain cells!  Also, a greater ability to bypass age-related trouble spots in the brain is quite apparent.

The more you work your mind, the greater your cognitive reserve.  The greater the reserve, the better ability you will have to withstand inevitable challenges of aging.  Keep in mind that we all begin to age way before fifty!

As a survivor of multiple traumatic incidents, and a stress management specialist, I have learned you can “retrain” your brain to accommodate any incident, or series of incidents that manifest in your life.  You can create new brain cells with new thoughts and habits.  Doing these things will begin for you a lifelong experience of stress management, better health, and will put you on the path to stay as sharp as possible. Exquisite breathing can really enhance these processes.

You are reading to find out about how to manage the stress in your life that may seem overwhelming and chaotic.  If you spend your life reliving your misery, or anger, and struggling just to swim in a pool of sadness, what does it accomplish? NOTHING. Time spent “mourning the past” just trashes any chance of peace and progress that is still available to you. We do have wonderful brains that can keep learning no matter how we have diligently tried to kill all the cells by the “party on” philosophy. I’ve been there too – big time.

There are bound to be some physical restrictions and mental problems that may increase with aging, and for some, those problems may inhibit to some degree some areas of retaining a sharp intellect.  Reasons for this decline might be a loss of neural connections, a blockage of blood supply, and perhaps decreases in nerve-signaling chemicals.  Memory can diminish with age, though only certain types.

Typically “learned skills” are so firmly wired in individuals, they typically do not decline unless you have a disease such as Alzheimer’s.

But for most people, the ability to keep that edge is dependent only on a few things.  The commitment to exercise (even moderately) is imperative, as movement is so crucial to brain health cognitive thinking, changes in aging can be the result of inactivity.  Refresh the brain on a daily basis with new thoughts, new information, and new habits.  If your memory, as you age, is suffering, it is probably your short-term memory. Some moderate loss is to be expected.

After all, this wonderful human machine clicks along for years and years.

So how are you going to keep your brain at it’s best?  BY GROWING NEW BRAIN CELLS!  Scientists believe certain lifestyle habits can spark the cells’ growth.  I believe the use of your oxygen combined with habitual thoughts (new thoughts for advancement preferably), will absolutely grow new brain cells.

In a nutshell:

1.  Pay attention to your mental and physical changes.

2.  Make sure you “exercise” your brain with new information.

3.  Exercise your body.

4.  Incorporate good nutrition in your life, as many memory

problems stem from vitamin deficiencies.

5.  Be the master of your own thoughts.  Thought manifest into

action, and your behavior becomes your life.

This is easier than you think, and will be fun to be a participant. Even if you aren’t one of the top winners, you will be challenged to think of ways to make stress management work for you, and that’s what we’re all after, right?

Contest will run from March 1 to May 1. During that time those who wish to be contestants will write an email to stressmanagementmagic@gmail.com.
Within the email, participants will send in what they feel are the three most important ways to be successful in managing stress.The winner will be announced on the website May 10th.

First Place:

1. A personally calibrated stress management program for the winner, including a limited edition stress management CD.

2. A 30-minute motivational conversation to discuss stress
management challenges the winner may face and a limited edition
stress management CD.

3. A book suggesting ways to make the job of care giving, for an
elderly parent or friend, less stressful for all involved.

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The top 5 entries will be linked from this website to their blog or
website.

So put on your thinking caps and send in your entry. It’s as easy as
that. Remember, one entry per person, and the deadline for entries
is May 1, 2010. Winners will be announced on the website May 10th!
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All participants will have their suggestions published here with full credit including a link to their blog if they choose.

Tell your friends, tell your family, and if you want to put a link on your site to this contest, that would be great too!

Good luck and don’t stress about it!

Learn to Relax and relive these areas Right now!

When you are stuck in traffic you can feel the tension rising.

The kids are arguing and it’s getting irritating.

Work has been unusually hard and your peers haven’t helped.

These are just a few of the tension scenarios that can cause your shoulders to be tense, your neck to ache, your head to feel as if it is going to blow off your neck.  These three areas are the places where we hold much of our tension-the “stress triangle”, a phrase coined elsewhere, but absolutely correct.

Learning to release the tension in these muscles can really help us relax and de-stress.

Find the areas in need of help

If you place your right hand on your left shoulder, and move your fingers halfway in toward your neck, you are at one point of the triangle.  The second point is the same place off your right shoulder.  The third point is on your forehead, between your eyes.

Why tense muscles hurt

Muscles tighten to protect you!  That’s right.  We are talking about the muscles preparing for the “fight or flight” scenario.

But you don’t need that protection for everyday stresses.  When your muscle shortens, and then holds that position, waste products from muscle activity get trapped (metabolites).  This causes pain.  The pain is released when the muscle regains its natural length by relaxing.

Stretch away tension

The following simple stretches can help relieve tightness in your “stress triangle.”  Always remember when you do these stretches that mindful breathing aids in the relaxation process.

1.  Neck roll.  Stretch your right ear to you right shoulder, keeping your left shoulder pulled down.  Roll you head down so you chin is on your chest.  Continue on to your left side.  Do rolls from side to side.  Begin with eight, build up to sixteen

2.  Shoulder shrug.  Using one shoulder at a time, draw big circles.  Do two or three to start, and build up to eight times, going forward, then back.

3.  Pick Fruit.  With one hand, reach up as if you are picking fruit from an apple tree slightly ahead and far above you.  Go from one arm to the other, building up to eight times on each side.

4.  Self-massage.  Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder, and your left hand to massage your right shoulder.

Work your fingers gently, but firmly, beginning with your shoulder blade and moving up toward the neck. Include the scalp in this mini-massage.  Use your oxygen to help the relaxation

5.  Standing body roll.  Let your head roll forward until your chin is on your chest.  Keep rolling down as your knees begin to bend.  When your hands are hanging near your knees, rest there a moment and slowly roll back up.  Work up to ten times.

A welcome release of tension

At home, at work, or wherever you are, just take a few moments to do one or all of these simple stretches.  Use them once an hour if you feel tension mounting.  After doing these a few times, and comparing the different feeling of tense muscles verses relaxed muscles, you will absolutely feel like it’s well worth it for a few minutes of your time.  You will feel better and prevent tension from building up in your body.

Try these.  You will like the results!

In an attempt to measure life changes, a Life Scale was developed ranking events in order from the most stressful (death of a spouse) to the least stressful (minor violations of the law).

As you read take note of all the stressful events that may have touched or are touching your life.  There are other stresses not listed, but according to statistical information these events are common to man.

1.  Death of spouse or child

2.  Divorce

3.  Marital Separation

4.  Addictions

5.  Death of a close family member (parent or sibling)

6.  Physical or verbal abuse

7.  Child sent to war

8.  Being fired from work

9.  Marital reconciliation

10. Retirement

11.  Major change in health or behavior of family member

12.  Pregnancy of spouse/ partner / child

13.  Sexual difficulties

14.  Gain a new family member (through birth, adoption, etc.)

15.  Major business readjustment (merger, reorganization, etc.)

16.  Major change in financial state (a lot worse / or better off)

17.  Death of a close friend

18.  Changing to different type work.

19.  Major change in number of arguments with spouse (more

or less)

20.  Taking on a significant (to you) mortgage

21.  Foreclosure on a mortgage or loan

22.  Major change in responsibility at work (promotion,

transfer, demotion)

23.  Son or daughter leaving home (marriage, college, etc.)

24.  Marriage

25.  In-law troubles

26.  Outstanding personal achievement

27.  Partner beginning or ceasing work outside of the home.

28.  Beginning or ceasing formal schooling

29.  Major change in living conditions (new house, renovating)

30.  Revision of personal habits (dress, manners, associations)

31.  Troubles with the boss

32.  Detention in jail or other institution

33.  Change in residence

34.  Major change in usual type and / or amount of recreation

35.  Major change in church or spiritual activities (more or less)

36.  Major change in social activities (clubs, dancing, movies)

37.  Taking on a small loan (purchasing car, TV, freezer, etc.)

38.  Major change in sleeping habits (more or less)

39.  Major change in number of family get-togethers (more or

less

40.  Major change in eating habits (a lot more or less food

intake

41.  Holidays or vacations

42.  Minor violations of the law (traffic or parking infractions)

43.  Time and traffic (deadlines, heavy traffic)

After reading the list you may find you REALLY HAVE GOOD REASONS to sometimes feel overwhelmed.  These events are common to all of us, and taken into consideration with other “personal events”; you can see just why you may be stressed!  You aren’t just whimpering or weak and unable to handle the events in your life!

So pat yourself on the back for not coming totally unglued every day, and begin to seek STRESS MANAGEMENT MAGIC through articles posted here, classes, videos, personal instruction, self-improvement groups, family meetings, and by ANY MEANS you can to “manage” this stress.

There are several ways NOT to look for stress management help.

1.  Alcohol

2.  Drugs

3.  Overeating or secretly eating to find a temporary fix.

In order for management techniques (whatever is right for your

lifestyle) to work, and for the techniques to be permanent, keep this important fact in mind:

PRACTICE, PRACTICE, And PRACTICE

Make it a FUN goal and remember THIS IS YOUR LIFE!

Now take a deep slow inhalation through the nose, exhale through the mouth and KNOW this is the most important first step you can take towards stress management.  USE YOUR OXYGEN YOU WONDERFUL OXYGEN MACHINE!

Stop to smell the flowers!  Take a breath and let your shoulders relax and go down!  It’s a new day.  A new opportunity to begin again.  Don’t expect a bad day today.  Expect a good one.  Create a good one.  Soar with the eagles.  No one except YOU can change your life….it’s all  in your hands.  Only YOU can respond instead of reacting.

Every one of those trials you’ve faced seemed life shattering.  But they are not unless you give power to them.

The past is the past.  Begin again.  Take a few more slow and deep breaths and SMILE.  Loose the fear and forge a head with great expectancy of the present and future!

“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good thought and actions.  Men understand this in the natural world (nothing can come from corn except corn) – but few unterstand it is in the mental and moral world.”

James Allen

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Because you acquire fresh knowledge intellectually doesn’t mean it will change your life or your soul.  Knowledge not put into practice is dormant; suspended in time until put into use.

Inhale slowly through the nose.  Exhale.  This is a gift.  You are an oxygen machine and can enhance your life, relax your body, and manage your stress much more effectively if you just remember to stop and take a breath when you are overwhelmed.  Take in several mindful breaths, recognizing that in order for you to move forward intellectually, you need oxygen for your brain.  Panic and stress cause us to slow our breathing!

PRACTICE this one technique for stress management every time you feel you cannot go any further.  Believe management will happen.  The body responds to your “input”, and to your thoughts.  Make it happen! Create a beautiful day as moments of your life will accelerate.  Use each one with positive thoughts – those thoughts become your life.