You Can Deal with Them
Everyone is irritable or indecisive at times. But some people are so difficult that they make others’ lives and work a strain. You know, you’ve walked into your workplace and seen the stress mounting minute by minute.
Dealing with difficult people is easier when you learn to recognize common personality types. Then it is possible to develop coping skills for dealing with each without trying to change them!
Prior to any confrontation or blow-u, the first defense against this kind of person is for YOU to slow down and do some thoughtful breathing. Remember your oxygen will regenerate and relax you simultaneously.
There are seven behavior types with whom most people have difficulty.
1. Bullies. These are hostile and angry, and throw tantrums to get their way.
2. Silent personalities. They don’t say much. You can yell at them, talk to them, or beg them to talk and you won’t be able to get more than a “yes” or “no” in response.
3. Complainers. These people gripe about everything they don’t like, but rarely do they make a move to change the situation.
4. Very nice people seem to agree with you, but won’t do what they say they will.
5. Negative responders. They say no to every new idea and are positive nothing will work.
6. Know it all. They always “know better”, are condescending and truly full of themselves.
7. Procrastinators. These folks put things off until someone else takes over, or until the decision is made because of delay.
All of these behaviors in people can be very annoying, upsetting and stressful. They keep everyone except the difficult person off balance. This can be true even though they may not be trying to control others.
Coping balances the power between people. It helps everyone get things done without stalling at the roadblocks difficult people set up.
The next time someone practices difficult behaviors around you, try these simple techniques:
For bullies, stand up for yourself. Use phrases like “I believe” or “I feel”. Don’t try to fight them. Instead make your point firmly
For silent types, ask a question that must be answered by more than a “yes” or “no”. If you get no response, let this type know your plans.
Speak directly to complainers and let them know you’ve heard their concern. Then directly ask, “What is it you want?”
Those very nice people have a strong need to be liked; show them that you do. Then dig to find out what’s really happening.
Don’t argue with those negative responders. Instead, suggest what won’t work before they do.
When face to face with the know-it-all types, have all the facts before you before you meet. Raise possible problems, and be ready to follow through.
Listen to the “stallers”. Find out what the real reason for the delay is. Help them, and ask them for help.
You can’t always avoid difficult people, but learning to cope with them is well worth the effort. You’ll get more done and be less frustrated. Your stress level will diminish to an acceptable level, and your ability to handle it will astound you!
Take a breath and have a wonderful day!
