Anger is defined as strong emotions: wrath, aggravation, being annoyed, bothered, exasperated, furious, irritated, outraged, and antagonized. If you are reading this there is a reason. Please take a few slow breaths of oxygen as you continue. Inhale slowly and exhale slowly. You are on the right path.
The emotions, INCLUDING “a sense of injury” and a desire to retaliate, (which are sometimes disguised, even to the individual who is angry) can be dangerous emotions. You can be almost out of control. It happens to millions of people. However, if anger is left unmanaged, the anger can escalate to violence, and the loss of control for one moment, has the potential to destroy your life and perhaps someone else’s! This is not an exaggeration. Statistics are a witness to acts of violence and the consequences paid.
If you feel your anger is tipping the scales, please answer the follow questions honestly.
1. What does anger REALLY resolve?
2. Do you REALLY want to devastate your body chemistry?
3. Do you REALLY have good reason to hurt family, friends, and peers?
4. Can you think of more appropriate ways to handle the situations?
5. Is your anger REALLY aimed at someone else, or is it yourself?
Fact: Anger does not resolve anything. When you feel angry leave the room. Go to someplace alone and do two things. Take for to five deep breaths slowly and exhale slowly. This concentrating on getting increased oxygen will divert your attention from the problem, for the moment. It actually has a calming effect on your mind and body.
Fact: When you are angry just once in a while, though the chemicals in your body are thrown into an abnormal state, the damage is not permanent. When you get angry all the time you actually are setting yourself up for disaster, both physically, and mentally.
Fact: While breathing to calm down, say a short prayer, or mantra several times. Examples: “God please help me to calm down.” or “I feel calm now.” Say whatever you choose to help several times.
Fact: Your angry words can cut like a knife and ultimately are capable of destroying any relationship. Angry words lead to angry actions. Since we are creatures of habit, if you ALLOW this anger to control you, you are jeopardizing everyone in your circle of life – including you! Heart attacks have happened because of this negative habit!
There are better ways to handle tough scenarios. Take a time out for finding your intellect instead of relying on emotions. Walk away. Seek counseling.
Have a family meeting and set rules. There is always a better way than “lack of self-control.”
Fact: Think of this. Sometimes your anger may actually be misguided frustration in handling a situation that is either out of your control, or out of the realm of you actually knowing what to do. It happens! Anger at one’s self can be twisted and manifest as anger to another.
If you have a child, you may have felt anger when you couldn’t locate the child for a time. Perhaps he or she was only playing somewhere out of your sight, but by the time you discovered the child your pent up WORRY had turned into anger; actually kind of a retaliation towards the child for your discomfort.
There are reasons to be angry, but do not let the anger destroy your life and ruin the lives of the people around you. There are men and women in prison for the rest of their lives for that moment of anger that was mismanaged.
Exercise your brain to think of a way to get out of this useless “anger pit” before you dig your way into a grave. PRACTICE new thoughts. Even if you don’t feel satisfied at first, you must continue to try to create more positive brain cells. If you must, take a pillow and beat it! Get a punching bag and use it until you are exhausted, and calmer. Go for a run. There are alternatives to anger.
PLEASE – IF YOU NEED HELP – AND YOU KNOW IT INNATELY – GET HELP BEFORE IT ESCALATES! There are anger management classes, social service organizations, and many other places to seek help. Talk to someone at a church. There is help available.
Right now: take in a slow, deep breath (through the nose). Hold it a few seconds remembering this will physically help to calm you down. Exhale (through the mouth) and visualize that anger subsiding as you get rid of the carbon dioxide. Do this again slowly. YOUR MIND AND BODY WILL RESPOND WITH A CALMER YOU, CAPABLE OF RESPONDING AND NOT REACTING.
Anger out of control can lead to violence. Violence can lead to irreparable damage. In many cases anger can, and has been a straight path to jail! Think about it and see help now if you feel out of control rage. PLEASE!
