Relationship problems can steal your life right out from under you.  The “tradition” in marriage has been to stick it out no matter what happens…suck up the tough times and get counseling; whatever it takes to live up to the words of the vows, “keep the family together”, and retain society’s ideal of marriage.

GET REAL!  There is a point that you must draw the line.  We all know that.  What seems to be a forgotten protocol is that life continues AFTER you draw the line.

How many times have you moved backwards in order to accommodate that very person stepping over the line once again.  What good is a line of demarcation (boundary or limits) if you justify your partner encroaching (intruding on a person’s territory, or a thing considered to be a right) over and over?   Advances like that will gradually cause irreparable damage. This isn’t hypothesis. This is proven fact.

If in our world wars it was acceptable to cross the line of demarcation, ultimately, our military leaders would have recognized and had to accept defeat.

There is a LIMIT to what is acceptable to an individual human’s rights.  What transpires ultimately AFTER the line is crossed many times terrifying.

A young woman was recently killed by her boyfriend; though it was a tragic death that was not intended, but an accident with a tragic outcome, there were signs to be noted.

She was 22 and a successful student at the University of Virginia. He was a lacrosse player.  You may be familiar with the story.

For the loss, there can be no recovery, in this lifetime.  Sadly, there were signs of abuse.  No matter what ANYONE tells you, you will register a “gut level” feeling when things go wrong, over and over, and you innately know, when it’s time to call the game.

The number one indicator is when a person’s social life begins to change.  When there is no witness to the abuse, it is hearsay. It is much easier to abuse when it’s “their word against yours.”  But you know!

Watch these signs as well.  (The use of alcohol in violent cases of abuse has been well documented.)

1. You are spending much less time with family and friends.

2.  The relationship has WILD ups and downs.

3.  You are afraid to miss a phone call from “that” person.

4.  The person you are with continually insults you.  For instance, you order dinner from the person’s favorite restaurant, but instead of thanking you for your thoughtfulness, you are criticized and insulted for your selections.

5.  You are afraid.  Think about it.

6.  You have thought:  “I hate him (or her).”  “I hate my life.”

“I wish we weren’t together.”

THESE ARE JUST A FEW SIGNS that should kick you in the ass!

Don’t be a fool.   Change your life or you may become a statistic!

What does this have to do with stress management?  EVERYTHING, and you know it…picture your life, as you dreamed it… not perfect, but at least peaceful, relatively happy, and SAFE.

BE SAFE.  Do something before escalation to devastation.

About Marsha

Marsha J. O'Brien, after a twenty-five year career as a personal trainer and health consultant, decided over ten years ago to dedicate her time to writing and publishing, and photography. In addition to her career in the field of teaching sound health of mind, body, and spirit, she specialized in stress management and relaxation techniques. She has been a contributor for several magazines, was an instructor for community college, and produced thirteen one-hour television programs for access television. When asked what first drew her to prose, she said she loved being able to express her experience and soul on the projects she creates. She cited a former English teacher, Mrs. Sloane, as one of the major writing influences in her life: "She told me to keep writing, but my finest writing would come after I had experienced life". Marsha is passionate about her writing, and endeavors to include within much of it, life lessons, with positive outcomes and insights. This last year Marsha had a severe spinal cord injury, and is applying all the techniques she taught to her own healing. She hopes soon to be hiking with her husband and dog, and playing with her eight grandchildren. She credits prayer, and God with her progress. She continues to write, and to post on her websites, as often as time allows: stressmanagementmagic.com and marshajobrien.com. If you would like to contact Marsha email: mo@jett.net
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