Why do you need a reason to live? YOU DON’T!


Don’t you think it’s difficult sometimes to quantify why you are here on planet earth? I know I’ve found it difficult many times. Perhaps you’ve thought:

“It’s just not worth the trouble.”
“My kids are raised, my life means nothing.”
“My husband and I split up and I will never find my dreams.”
“I am getting old and hurt every day. There is no future for me.”
“I am a looser.”

Well, I call BS and say STOP THE PITY PARTY. I’ve been there!
I’ve been “there” many times – more times than I care to remember. I’ve been on the edge, without hope, without purpose, alone, overwhelmed with life in general.

Guess what? I’m still here! I just flatly decided a long time ago I am stronger than to give in to life of the influences of circumstances…even circumstances I helped create.

I admit my faith has been an abiding factor in my recovery – but just to let you know, I HAVEN’T ALWAYS had my faith to pull me up by the bootstraps. Sometimes I’ve had an “empty cup” and had to remember I am human, and human kind are built for endurance.

So what if you’ve lost everything you ever worked for SO FAR….I’ve done that too! Mama always said, “Material things come and go…” Guess what? THEY DO!

Pinch yourself. It hurts doesn’t it? So stop inflicting unnecessary pain to yourself. It’s difficult enough to rise above circumstance; don’t add to your own challenges.

If you are breathing, if you are thinking, if you are reading and using your hands to type – if you are alive – you still have the chance to find HAPPINESS.

The secret is, it comes from within YOU! As you think, so shall you be. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a path to travel. That path, ultimately, is of your own creation.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are stronger than you ever dreamed. You are worth a life…your life. You are worth gritting your teeth, rolling up your sleeves, and trying again!

If you don’t think I know what I am talking about – share your experience with me privately and I’ll show you I know what I am talking about! I haven’t been through the hell in my life for nothing…pain shared makes your experience easier.

Share it privately with me and I will respond privately to you, with love and support. I promise. I’ve been a personal health consultant (mind, body and spirit) for over
thirty years, and lived at least five different lives! Let me help, no charge, if I can!
The spirit is willing!

About Marsha

Marsha J. O'Brien, after a twenty-five year career as a personal trainer and health consultant, decided over ten years ago to dedicate her time to writing and publishing, and photography. In addition to her career in the field of teaching sound health of mind, body, and spirit, she specialized in stress management and relaxation techniques. She has been a contributor for several magazines, was an instructor for community college, and produced thirteen one-hour television programs for access television. When asked what first drew her to prose, she said she loved being able to express her experience and soul on the projects she creates. She cited a former English teacher, Mrs. Sloane, as one of the major writing influences in her life: "She told me to keep writing, but my finest writing would come after I had experienced life". Marsha is passionate about her writing, and endeavors to include within much of it, life lessons, with positive outcomes and insights. This last year Marsha had a severe spinal cord injury, and is applying all the techniques she taught to her own healing. She hopes soon to be hiking with her husband and dog, and playing with her eight grandchildren. She credits prayer, and God with her progress. She continues to write, and to post on her websites, as often as time allows: stressmanagementmagic.com and marshajobrien.com. If you would like to contact Marsha email: mo@jett.net
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7 Responses to Why do you need a reason to live? YOU DON’T!

  1. lawrence says:

    I feel like i can’t do it anymore. I spend the first 18 years of my life in a constant state of depression. I hated high school and tried to kill myself. The only thing that kept me going was me thinking that when i went to college things would be different. And you know what they were. I found some friends and eventually found a girl i really cared about. We were in a relationship for almost two years and i had convinced myself that i was going to spend the rest of my life with her. A lot of things happened during our relationship that brought extremely close together. To make it short we both got into dark places and helped each other bring ourselves out of it, which brought us closer together. But about a month ago she decided she needed a break and now I’m on hiatus waiting for her. We both have kept seeing each other and other people, but she has now started to develop feelings for someone else. I have been in a state of constant pain for the past month and all it has done is make me think that i will always be in pain and i will never be able to escape. I’m to the point where i know if i pushed through i could do it but i keep coming back to the point of what’s the point of living if your not happy. I’m tired of waking up everyday with a pain in my chest, i’m tired of pretending i’m okay when i’m not. I can’t keep up anymore and i need a reason why. What’s the point of living if your just in pain

  2. Marsha says:

    Lawrence, I have not been on line for four months, except to check my emails. I just got the notification that you had made these comments yesterday – March 28th! I pray to God that you have recovered a bit from this terrible depression you were feeling when you wrote these comments…..we all go through some critical times in our lives – that is just part of being human, and alive, but we all also have the power from within to rise above all these seemingly impossible challenges! Part of my strength comes from my faith in a God I’ve never seen, and the power of prayer. if you’ve never dropped to your knees and prayed to the unseen Creator – try it some time. When I tell you, whether you believe in a power beyond yourself or not, you can turn your life around and find happiness, believe me. First, stop dwelling on the past and believing your life is doomed for sorrow and misery. From the time I was 15 my life began to whirl around me accelerating in all directions. I watched as my mother began an affair, I was a widow at 18, have been in love more than once, married and divorced 4 times, beaten, cheated on by my best friend and husband, fallen down drunk, out of my mind for a time, in a terrible car accident, injured from head to toe, lied to, hair pulled out by the roots, (and that’s only part of of the story). I have four grandchildren in Utah, and now my eldest son, whom I love dearly, totally cut off our relationship, thereby cutting deeply into my heart and withholding my closeness to my grandchildren. At this point in my life I find I have a bulging disc in my neck, and just recovered from a hysterectomy, a broken leg, broken wrist, broken toe, now have to face the fact I probably only have twenty years left in my life – if I am lucky – so I face wrinkles and death. Sounds like a horrible life, eh? But I SWEAR to you Lawrence, for the times in between the pain and the sorrow, IT HAS BEEN A WONDERFUL LIFE! A LIFE WORTH LIVING, through it all. Beyond my faith, I decided that NO INCIDENT was going to rob me of my happiness and my life. I tried being miserable and it sucked – so I gave it up!
    Don’t be tired of “pretending” you are happy. Keep pretending – repeat it in your head every day – I feel great, I am happy, I love life! Divert your unhappy thoughts to something else. Do something for someone – join an organization – walk – write – TRANSFORM your life. Take a breath…..remember all is not lost because of a broken love affair or lack of friends. Be your own friend . Look around – I think you have an innate strength because you’ve survived thus far. Pretend and EVENTUALLY you will create brain cell impressions that are actually happy! Look for
    the good. Don’t dwell on what is past. You can begin again this very moment….and if misery jumps in on you again, stop – take a breath – change your scenery…go to a mall and watch people. Quit concentrating on what you don’t have and begin to think what do you really want….pull positive energy towards you. Reinvent yourself. I am not just talking “fluff”. I survived the worst scenarios in ten people’s lives and I am a happy person BECAUSE I SAID SO! Look at it this way – if you
    touched the heart and caring of me, someone you don’t even know, there are more human beings out there that are also looking for love, affection, companionship, and relationships. Don’t give up.
    Don’t give in. Somehow I know you are stronger than that and I know, somehow, you have joy coming your way! Write again and let me know how you are doing. Warmly, Marsha I will pray for you too!

  3. Marsha says:

    Pain is the greatest teacher we have. I know it sounds ridiculous, but it is your choice to rise above it and learn lessons, or let it take you down. You cannot let someone else decide for you whether you are happy or not, and if you succumb to
    doing so, you will never find the peace and happiness you deserve. When I used to drive and some jerk ticked me off I flipped him off and said “piss on you”…somewhere along the line I found I had switched the finger to the peace sign and I said
    “Peace on you”. Guess what? I decided to put a halt to MY FEELING UPSET, ANGRY, and YES, even DOWN because of a loss! It’s okay to mourn a loss, but don’t drown in your sorrow. LIfe is short, and if you have pretended your happy before,
    you can do it again! This time don’t do it to appease someone else, or because you think you have to do so – do it because if you do it for YOU, it can become REAL. Use positive affirmations to change your life, and when you think, (pretending)-
    “I am happy today”. DECIDE TO BE HAPPY. The ONLY choice we have in life is our CHOICE to RESPOND to life- not react to it! Think: “Today will be a good day, and mean it.” Don’t let things wear on you – CHANGE the scenery. CHANGE your
    thoughts, GET BUSY doing something positive for someone else….You have a right to happiness. I tried being miserable and it sucked (and believe me if you want a brief story of my life I will tell you- Being miserable sucked so I gave it up.
    I went from pretending to be happy…to creating brain cell impressions that felt happier if I was doing something kind, or smiling for no reason, or calling someone I hadn’t spoken to for a while. I said I was happy…..I became happy. I decided
    nothing was going to STEAL MY MOMENTS of life any more!! NOTHING! I went from happy to great, to wonderful, to awesome….and I mean it. I can be happy simply looking at autumn leaves, by myself. I am grateful for small miracles. Though
    this is a long time coming, and I am sorry for that, I do care – I do believe things CAN turn around for you. This life is all YOUR CHOICE. CHOOSE how to respond to it. Take a breath and remember you have a right to be happy, and damnit – you will be happy!
    I know you can do it. You are welcome here anytime and if I can share or help you to see that you can CHOOSE…please let me know. I am older than I’d like to be, but am known as the human happy face because of my ability to bounce back
    and I am happy. I’ll share my happy with you! It’s a technique and YOU CAN DO IT! GOD BLESS YOU and I hope you are climbing a mountain, and are finding your happy!

  4. Unknown says:

    Well hello I’m a 22 year man living in Britain I had a very good life a nice childhood loving parents, family, friends, a nice house, money, Girlfriends but I couldn’t fund a job I had a few but they didnt keep me on for very long but that was my only worry at the time. So I decided that I should set up my own business so after asking my family for a loan of £25000 I opened my business which within 3 months it went under I also invested in another business a total £40000 which also went bust. I blame myself for everything I didnt want to take advice from
    Anyone I thought hey everyone else can do it I’m sure I can so after losing all my familys lifesaving I have lost my fiancée who loved me very much but I just couldn’t put here through all this her family is very likely to kill me as soon as they find out her brother wasn’t happy with our relationship to begin with he told me I ever break his sisters heart he would break my neck and he will he is head of a criminal gang in our city and has done many bad things before also I just feel totally dead and numb inside nothing brings me happiness I’m also going to be made bankrupt due to be not being able to payy bills my family is broke I have no friends anymore I have no one to talk my family is very supportive but that hurts me because if they didn’t I could atleast kill myself and I’m not good at anything everything I have ever tried I failed miserably I lost all faith in God a very long time ago nothing makes any sense to me so to sum it up I’m in debt £40000 which I will have up pay over the next few years even though it’s next to impossible to find a job I also have to declare bankruptcy but I will still have to pay every penny of the £40000 beacause I borrowed that from family I have lost all my friends and the one girl I truly fell in love with not forgetting her brothers death threat which seems like a positive and all this happened in 6 months I feel like a have the worst luck I know my life has shattered around me I have read alot if story’s in the Internet but mine seems close to the top of the list I don’t know why I’m writing this just maybe make someone slightly happier about there existence thanks for readind

  5. Marsha says:

    Hello. I just read your comments. I am committed to an appointment this afternoon, but will respond to you later on today. Take a breath and try to just do something to divert your own attention for a few hours. Go to an animal shelter and pet the animals, watch a movie, go for a walk and see if you can discover something you’ve not seen before. I’ve been through “the mill” and I believe you can make it to, and go forward to find that happiness that is awaiting you….please, just take a breath. Will write when I return, later today. Warmly,
    and sent with love and hope, Marsha

  6. marshaobrien says:

    You know you have had lots of terrible stuff happen in your young life! But you have a choice how to respond to all this strife and trauma. You can pick yourself up and recreate your life, or just let life roll over you while you feel terrible fore the rest of it! You said it yourself, that you have a family that loves you (through it all) – so you can’t choose what I consider a coward’s way out, suicide. I feel you have qualities inside you that redeem your poor choices. Don’t you think we all make mistakes? Some are more terrible than others, and some keep repeating the same mistakes and never learn, but some humans (and we all have the potential to do this within), find a way! There has to be a way….. Do you think a scientist is successful in his first experiences at trying to find an answer. Sometimes before he comes to a successful answer, he fails over and over again. We all have “tried” and failed something! The difference is between the person who doesn’t give up, and the one who does, is the one who doesn’t give up is the one who ultimately reaches maturity and old age happily. You are twenty-two- OMgosh, I think the opportunity for you to learn and grow is astounding! I am sorry I have to close now, but my husband works hard and his arrival is soon and I want a good supper for him. Please…think. I will write more tomorrow.

  7. Marsha says:

    How are you my young friend? I have thought of you often, but as usual, life has changed my plans. This is the first I have been on line for a while; my writing has been sparse. I hope to know more of what
    the next months of my life will entail this afternoon, and will hopefully begin to write again. Of course, plans could change in the next thirty seconds, so hold on to your horses…the race is always a challenge.
    Believe me, my life has been a travesty – and it’s not looking much better for a while – but I want to help you in any way I can to see that there is always a way to be happy in this short time on planet earth.

    Please smile RIGHT NOW, knowing that someone across the sea, who only has communicated with you briefly – REALLY CARES AND WANTS TO KNOW HOW YOU ARE DOING!!! Please let me know, and I will be writing more soon.
    I also have another blog if you are bored; it is more diverse in nature. marshaobrien.wordpress.com (name of blog is: Relax, it’s just life).

    Come on – smile! Warmly, Marsha

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