A Surprising Stress Management Technique

“Do unto Others”. How did I arrive at this conclusion?

Let me share with you what happened yesterday. I decided to buy a new purse. I haven’t bought a new one for years as I do most of my shopping at second hand thrift stores and yard sales.

You really get a better mix of “stuff” than if you go into, say Kohl’s. Off the point.

I came home and realized the purse was not made well and wasn’t quite right. It was made in China. Duh!

Early in the evening, before dusk, I decided to take the dog out for a ride and return the bag. Just as I parked the car and had leashed up the dog to let her out, I saw three teenage boys headed my direction.

About two parking spaces from the passenger side of my car, one of the boys bikes locked up and he went flying forward and on the asphalt. The bike came crashing down on him. I knew he had to have been hurt.

I jammed out of the car with the dog (much to hot to leave her in) – and flew over to him. He was bleeding from the lip and many places on his head; pretty heavy bleeding.

I handed one of the boys my Rottie and said, “She will mind you” and ran to the car to get paper towels…I always carry them, for no particular reason.

I started to rip off a few and the roll flipped out of my hand and under the car. I had a hand full though.
When I got back to the boy he was sitting up with blooding gushing from his head. I told him we had to stop the bleeding, and proceeded to press tightly, with open hand, across the many places that were bleeding.

I kept the pressure on as the other boy on the bike called 911. Within minutes the fire truck and ambulance arrived.

In the meantime I asked one of the boys to get more paper towels and I handed Chase (I had introduced myself to him to start a conversation and keep him awake.)

I gave Chase those towels and told him to press on his bleeding lip. He said he was going to pass out and I saw he turned gray. I was going to gently lay him down, but I wanted to keep pressure on his head and I held him tighter and told him to stay awake for me.

A couple of minutes and his color seemed to return some. In the meantime several cars stopped to see if they could help, but there wasn’t anything to do. One
young man said he would pray for him, and I thanked him.

Chase kept saying thank you, thank you so much. I told him it was okay. At one point he said it again and I felt like he was my own child. I instinctively lightly kissed the top of his head and said “It will be okay, Chase.” Didn’t think about it. Just did it.

The paramedics took over and began to wrap his head with long rolls of gauze. I moved back and thanked the boy for holding my dog. He had actually walked her a bit. I hadn’t remembered I had left both drivers side doors open and my wallet sitting right on the seat.

It was still as I left it and I was proud with horrible negative things you hear about our youth, the boys were honest, very nice, and so helpful, actually made me proud.

Chase asked for my number and said he wanted to call me to thank me, so I gave it to his friend…I just wanted to see how he was doing.

The ambulance loaded him up and off they went.

Later in the evening Chase’s mom called from the hospital and told me she was so thrilled when she got there and he was awake. She thanked me many times, and I just told her, “we are supposed to love one another, I would hope someone would do that for my
sons or daughter. She said he was going to be okay, probably a pretty good headache, a puffed up lip and abrasions on his had, and some “staples” in his head.

What a relief.  I was so glad he hadn’t more complications or problems.

Now what does this have to do with stress management? Just this: I felt I needed to return the purse even if it meant a second trip on the same day.  I wasn’t irritated about it.  I thought my husband would have said, “Why didn’t you wait until the next day?”  I know why now.

I have carried paper towels all these years for a reason; now I know why.  I didn’t even think about the “blood” until I got into the store and the salesperson said I should use something to get the blood off.  I always carry an alcohol mix to wipe my hands with, and when I got home I just poured bleach on my hand and washed good.  I still wasn’t worried about the blood.

The stress management part. I am grateful Chase is okay. It relieves the worry about him. I have felt good all day because he is okay,  I was able to spontaneously do something for someone else – it took any worry of my own problems or challenges, and diminished their importance.

Doing unto others – it works. Helping Chase, still gives me a feeling of warmth inside, and a clearer prospective of the world, and somehow makes me feel good to be a human that cares – that responds – and that loves.

My stressors faded into the background, and what is important came to fruition…loving one another. It is the natural thing to do!

Now go do some spontaneous thing for someone. Pick a flower or visit an elderly person. It feels wonderful and really does relieve the stress of those things that seemed so urgent a few moments ago.

About Marsha

Marsha J. O'Brien, after a twenty-five year career as a personal trainer and health consultant, decided over ten years ago to dedicate her time to writing and publishing, and photography. In addition to her career in the field of teaching sound health of mind, body, and spirit, she specialized in stress management and relaxation techniques. She has been a contributor for several magazines, was an instructor for community college, and produced thirteen one-hour television programs for access television. When asked what first drew her to prose, she said she loved being able to express her experience and soul on the projects she creates. She cited a former English teacher, Mrs. Sloane, as one of the major writing influences in her life: "She told me to keep writing, but my finest writing would come after I had experienced life". Marsha is passionate about her writing, and endeavors to include within much of it, life lessons, with positive outcomes and insights. This last year Marsha had a severe spinal cord injury, and is applying all the techniques she taught to her own healing. She hopes soon to be hiking with her husband and dog, and playing with her eight grandchildren. She credits prayer, and God with her progress. She continues to write, and to post on her websites, as often as time allows: stressmanagementmagic.com and marshajobrien.com. If you would like to contact Marsha email: mo@jett.net
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