Don’t you think it’s difficult sometimes to quantify why you are here on planet earth? I know I’ve found it difficult many times. Perhaps you’ve thought:

“It’s just not worth the trouble.”
“My kids are raised, my life means nothing.”
“My husband and I split up and I will never find my dreams.”
“I am getting old and hurt every day. There is no future for me.”
“I am a looser.”

Well, I call BS and say STOP THE PITY PARTY. I’ve been there!
I’ve been “there” many times – more times than I care to remember. I’ve been on the edge, without hope, without purpose, alone, overwhelmed with life in general.

Guess what? I’m still here! I just flatly decided a long time ago I am stronger than to give in to life of the influences of circumstances…even circumstances I helped create.

I admit my faith has been an abiding factor in my recovery – but just to let you know, I HAVEN’T ALWAYS had my faith to pull me up by the bootstraps. Sometimes I’ve had an “empty cup” and had to remember I am human, and human kind are built for endurance.

So what if you’ve lost everything you ever worked for SO FAR….I’ve done that too! Mama always said, “Material things come and go…” Guess what? THEY DO!

Pinch yourself. It hurts doesn’t it? So stop inflicting unnecessary pain to yourself. It’s difficult enough to rise above circumstance; don’t add to your own challenges.

If you are breathing, if you are thinking, if you are reading and using your hands to type – if you are alive – you still have the chance to find HAPPINESS.

The secret is, it comes from within YOU! As you think, so shall you be. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a path to travel. That path, ultimately, is of your own creation.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are stronger than you ever dreamed. You are worth a life…your life. You are worth gritting your teeth, rolling up your sleeves, and trying again!

If you don’t think I know what I am talking about – share your experience with me privately and I’ll show you I know what I am talking about! I haven’t been through the hell in my life for nothing…pain shared makes your experience easier.

Share it privately with me and I will respond privately to you, with love and support. I promise. I’ve been a personal health consultant (mind, body and spirit) for over
thirty years, and lived at least five different lives! Let me help, no charge, if I can!
The spirit is willing!
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Opt for Optimism

Research has shown that the majority of illnesses, including backaches, headaches, and even heart disease, can be caused or influenced by our feelings and our stress levels.

When we experience life changes-positive or negative-our bodies need time to recover.  If we have an optimistic attitude, it can help speed recover and may even keep you healthier than someone with negative attitudes.

By learning to look on the “bright side” you can help counteract the negative effects of stress and improve your overall health.

Look on the Bright Side

The classic definition of an optimist is a person who sees a glass as half full, while the pessimist sees it as half empty.

Optimists choose to feel hopeful about how they see a situation.

Optimists are positive thinkers who practice positive “self-talk”. Optimists tell themselves, “I can do it.  I will do it. ”

Surprisingly, optimism, or positive thinking, can help accomplish a surprising number of personal goals.

How to Become an Optimist

Find a role model.  Find someone who seems to make the best of any given situation.  Find out how that person maintains that attitude and copy the behavior!   Get in the habit of responding in a positive manner.  Chances are that this role model, even during difficult times, will get through the circumstance with fewer negative effects.

Practice positive self-talk.  Repetition is the mother of all learning, and the only way to change the habit of constant negativity, is by training yourself.   Tell yourself positive things for a month.  Make that brief commitment and follow through and it can change your life.  Leave out of your vocabulary negative words such as “can’t, won’t, or don’t”.

Practice positive affirmations.  Affirmations are positive, and motivating statements.  Use short “I am” statements:  “I am calm and will respond with intellect.”  “I am changing to become more positive.”  Say the affirmations out loud several times, and then imagine it happening.  You are in the process of creating new brain cells that are based on your positive thoughts and affirmations.

No one is optimistic all the time.  It just isn’t possible.  We are all human.  But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude.  When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to a happier, healthier body, mind and spirit.

Now take a deep inhalation of oxygen and think, “I am in charge of my attitude and the response to any challenge I may encounter.”

CREATE a wonderful day!

I never dreamed the day would wind up like this.  It began like any other.  But one thing about life I know for sure is that you cannot count on things remaining the same, and just as you believe you “have things under control”, another stressor will come to fruition.

I have made many mistakes in this life, as we all do.  I know the majority of them and have endeavored to learn and go forth.  Apparently something triggered this and what is done, is done.

So where am I going with this?  This website is dedicated to teaching stress management techniques that work in crisis.  This “problem” is a huge crisis for me, and here is how I am handling it.

No one ever said some stress is not disastrous.  No one ever said it couldn’t break your heart – at least for a time.

The first thing I did was to allow myself to cry. The kind of cry that makes you sob long after the tears diminishes.    As a matter of fact, I am still weeping after several hours.  A good cry washes the eyes and releases all the pent up emotions that are strangling us from within.

I also stopped and used my oxygen to “settle down” and keep my body relaxed, and my mind functioning as optimally as possible.

If you are alone (and I am alone, for a time), remember there is help somewhere. I did hug my puppy. It’s proven that hugging or petting an animal is a great help to calm stress.

If you have a friend, neighbor or relative that you can share with, call them.  I said prayers.  There are also resources available to help you if you are desperate.

Call your church; look up websites for critical help.  Call local organizations that are available for counseling.

I am settled enough now to sit and write this post, and believe it-the writing has actually made me feel better.  It has made me quit crying, and settle down. It has diverted my attention to what is in front of me, and not the reality I can do nothing to change this situation right now.  I did not react and get mad.  I am slowing myself so I will be able to make rational decisions about this problem.

Go for a walk.  You can workout at the gym.  Diversion can be a lifesaver.

Remember, some things in life YOU will not be able to resolve like you would desire to do so!  That’s just the way it is.

Suicide is not an option.  It’s actually rather stupid as it

really stops ANYTHING.  No healing, no life.  It leaves a legacy you probably wouldn’t want to have as people are remembering you.

Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes – they are not the answer.  They take away your true self and muddle your thoughts and reactions.

So this is the reality as it is happening to me.  You may not be able to change the scenario, but you always have a choice as to your response to it!

I am going to take a few more breaths, close for today, and simply say, YOU CAN HANDLE whatever comes up as a stress factor.  I am.

You are not alone either.  If you need to do what I am doing by writing, drop me an email and I will respond with the best help I can share!

Scientists are proving that “the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of our gray matter” is NOT just an idea posed by those who participate in visualizations and meditations.

Mental practice resulted (as seen in a series of tests) in the reorganization of the brain. The scientists also discovered that mental training had the power to change the physical structure of the brain. How cool is that!

Now we know that scientists concur with those of us who participate in mind training for stress management, such as visualizations and meditations, to be used to enhance our lives and reduce our stress level to one that is manageable and not damaging to the body.

At all ages the brain retains the ability to change its structure and function in response to thought and / or experience.

“As you think, so shall you become”, an old proverb, seems more meaningful than some previously realized. We have such great, and unrecognized powers, to help ourselves heal the mind and body.  We can mentally rehearse upcoming events, and actually change our lives through our thoughts.

When you begin to feel that the stress level is unbearable, begin management by exercising your mind. Use your intake of oxygen to enhance your thoughts and help the process.

An example of “thinking” to help manage stress might go something like this:

“Because I care about myself, I choose to eliminate negative thoughts and expectations from my mind. I monitor my words and actions carefully, make sure that what I say and do is positive and caring.”

“I will work with a better attitude, knowing I can achieve much more if I am less worried.  I will take a breath when I feel overwhelmed, and begin to review my thoughts.”

“I will read literature and books that enhance my life and enrich my mind. I will think myself healthier and my brain will help it happen.”

You have much more ability and resources from within to help manage stress than imaginable.  The crux of this is YOU must begin by using your intellect.  Be patient and expect miracles!

No matter what age you are, good health habits are a huge part of taking care of yourself.  Practicing good habits do not guarantee that you will never get sick, or that you will live longer, but they will improve the way you feel and the quality of your life.  They also build your immunity, which can keep you from “catching” frequent colds and letting illness rule your life.

You only have one body to live in, so let’s review a bit of pertinent information. It’s not as difficult as you think.

Stay active with exercise

Don’t respond with “I hate exercise”.  Exercise does not mean you have to spend your life at the gym.  It should be fun, interchangeable, and something that will trigger excitement instead of dread.

There is a world of wonderful ways to get exercise.  The first one is simply walking.   A recent study showed that by taking a brisk, half-hour walk just six times a month, you cut the risk of early death by forty-four percent!  That’s astounding.

If you just can’t “squeeze” that into your schedule – first of all, shame on you!  You are worth that minimum amount of time to keep your body healthy.  After all, if you aren’t healthy you can’t perform any function optimally.  The world that surrounds you, family, work, friends, peers, will all NOT GET the best of you – so take a breath and read on.

If you still reconcile that you cannot afford that amount of time, do this:  Park further from the store.  On a break walk (even if it’s up and down the back stairs or through the office.)

Take your lunch and find a friend and walk the first fifteen minutes.  Stand in front of the television and walk in place.

Anything you do will help to better your health.  The trick is to do it regularly.  Get in the habit of allowing you that minimal amount of time to help your mind and body.

Your circulation will be better and you will return to your job refreshed.  A ten-minute walk can be relaxing and invigorating too.

You can join a health club.  Take a yoga class, walk with a friend, or play tennis.  Vacuum. That may not be the most fun, but consider it a dance, and sing, and it will be better.  Even gardening is a great exercise.  Body movement and breathing are keys to good health.

Exercise has many benefits.  It reduces STRESS, boredom, depression, and improves sleep.  It improves the skin and muscle tone.  It improves blood circulation, balance and flexibility.  It lowers blood pressure and even reduces the risk for adult-onset diabetes.

So now – get up and shake everything.  Take a breath.  Come

on, it’s you LIFE!  Do something to make it better.  This is easy stuff.  Take another breath and stretch your arms above your head and remember – “I am alive.  I can do whatever I choose!

It’s REALLY my option!”

BUT BURNOUT CAN BE AVOIDED.

As with most behaviors, when you learn how to recognize the problem, the causes and symptoms, and ways you can change your environment to reduce stressful situations, you will find you can “manage stress” much more effectively, and probably not burnout at all!

Burnout most often occurs in people who feel that they are overworked and unappreciated.  They become disappointed and sometimes very cynical.  They may also feel guilty and ashamed, and may secretly blame themselves.

Signs a burnout can be near include exhaustion (both mental and physical); hopelessness and helplessness; low self-esteem and low spirit, and perhaps more frequent illness.

Burnout often occurs in professionals that “help”, such as nursing or teaching.  But anyone who feels very pressured, or even bored from work can suffer from burnout.

The first step towards recovery from any stress related concern is to define the problem.  Is the situation itself stressful?  Is the problem just some small matter that triggers these feelings?  Is there something about your situation you can change?

Nurses as an example again, particularly those who care for terminally ill patients, can be prime candidates for burnout.  However, by accepting that the scenario itself is stressful, they can reduce feelings of guilt and resentment.

Make Changes

Changes in both you and your environment can help prevent burnout.  You must let your emotional response take a step back, and let your intellect analyze the situation.  You may have more ability to change your environment than you think. Try to think in positive terms to follow with positive actions.

If a lack of appreciation on the job is damaging your morale, take charge.  Your environment will change as you develop skills to communicate and voice a calm and intelligent opinion about matters to either superiors or your peers. Share your feelings and listen to others.  This is simple and yet can have awe-inspiring results.

When you ignore your needs (both physical and mental) during a period of constant or severe distress, burnout is surely going to be a result.  You must take time to recover and heal from burnout if it strikes.  It can ignite a series of other physical ailments if ignored.

Use and develop skills such as risk-taking, reaching out to friends and family, and talking with others in similar circumstances.

Ask someone your respect to look at your situation and suggest solutions.  Use this change to make burnout a first step toward greater satisfaction.

Above all, before any response, use your oxygen to calm and regenerate you.  Always breathing in slowly, visualize it helping your intellect and your muscles relax.  Then exhale slowly, visualizing all the negativity flying out the fingertips, and making way for positive responses.

Why not practice right now with a few thoughtful breaths.  It will help you right away!  Believe it.  Scientists are now proving “the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of gray matter.”  It certainly can’t hurt!

Yes it can!

Everyone knows that laughter feels good.  Laughter can make any situation a little more bearable, but did you know it could actually make you healthier?

Children laugh about 400 times a day.  Adults only laugh about 15 times a day, and that’s not the majority of adults.

Many of us get so wrapped up in the serious side of our jobs, whether it be in an office, working outside, or parenting.  The trouble with that is we simply aren’t laughing enough.  When we get so bogged down and serious, our stress levels spiral out of control.  Oftentimes we forget there is really still a lighter side to life.

How often do you let yourself laugh?  How often to you chuckle or really laugh until it hurts?  Not often enough I’d bet!

Laughter is really an all-around health booster.  According to “Science of Laughter” on the Discovery Health Web site, when we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase.

Not only that, but Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein, T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells

(which make disease -fighting antibodies) increase too!

Blood pressure lowers with laughter, and you breathe more when laughing, thereby increasing oxygen in the blood.  That also encourages healing.

Be aware though, what “some people” call humor is not beneficial.  When jokes and laughter turn into jabs towards others, and yourself, you are no longer reaping the benefit of your laughter, and are in fact increasing pain and putting distance between yourself and others.

Healthy humor is a whole body experience comprised of three key components:

1.  Laughter, the reflexive and contagious physical experience.

2.  Wit, the cognitive experience.

3.  Amusement (or mirth), the feel good emotional experience enhanced when shared with others.

When these three elements are part of your “laughter” experience, you can be absolutely sure your body is benefiting!

Laughter really does lower blood pressure.  Many tests have shown that those who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.

Laughter protects our hearts.  Laughter can help prevent heart disease.

The “humor factor” actually changes our biochemical state, similar to what the “flight or fight” syndrome does – only laughter changes are good.  It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies.  It makes us more attentive, and increases the heart rate and pulse.

Laughter is a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.  It actually gives us a good workout.  It massages abdominal organs, tones the intestinal functioning, and strengthens muscles that hold abdominal organs in place.  A hearty laugh can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or an exercise bike.

Humor does improve brain function, which in turn helps relieve stress.  It stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance our intellect and learning.  It eases psychological stress and allows people to retain more information.

When we laugh our ability to connect with others improves.   Humor helps us to replace negative emotions with good feelings.

When humor enters it changes our behavior.  We talk more, make more direct eyes contact with others, our energy increases, and simply put, it makes us feel better!

Look for everyday humor.  There is humor to be found!  There are things constantly around us that can incite humor if we let them.  Honestly, you can find silly things happening around you every day.

Look at children.  They can find humor in anything! Surround yourself with positive people.  Take a humor break and pick up a book of jokes to read.  When you start to feel pressured, pick the book up and read a few jokes.

I remember a time years ago that I went to the beach with friends.  Trying to impress the guys, I attached a long ponytail to my own hair.  I looked hot!

When asked to play volleyball I said, “Of course.”  I had a hundred pins holding the darn thing in.  We played for a few minutes and then my ponytail fell off!

Everyone looked shocked and I simply said “Time out”, and I set it by the sidelines and kept playing.  No one laughed or mentioned it, and the game continued.  I played hard and our team won.

When over, I put the hairpiece in my purse and my friend and I went back to the house.  Once the door was closed we burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and laughed until our sides hurt.  I’m still smiling.

Rather than suffer humiliation or embarrassment, I chose to ignore the stress, and just keep going.  It was the best thing I possibly could have done.

Remember, this is your life!  Don’t forget to have fun.  Enjoy your life.  Take a breath and take heart.  It will work out easier if you remember to laugh!

Smile now.  The good times are closer than you think.

Yes it can!

Everyone knows that laughter feels good.  Laughter can make any situation a little more bearable, but did you know it could actually make you healthier?

Children laugh about 400 times a day.  Adults only laugh about 15 times a day, and that’s not the majority of adults.

Many of us get so wrapped up in the serious side of our jobs, whether it be in an office, working outside, or parenting.  The trouble with that is we simply aren’t laughing enough.  When we get so bogged down and serious, our stress levels spiral out of control.  Oftentimes we forget there is really still a lighter side to life.

How often do you let yourself laugh?  How often to you chuckle or really laugh until it hurts?  Not often enough I’d bet!

Laughter is really an all-around health booster.  According to “Science of Laughter” on the Discovery Health Web site, when we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase.

Not only that, but Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein, T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells

(which make disease -fighting antibodies) increase too!

Blood pressure lowers with laughter, and you breathe more when laughing, thereby increasing oxygen in the blood.  That also encourages healing.

Be aware though, what “some people” call humor is not beneficial.  When jokes and laughter turn into jabs towards others, and yourself, you are no longer reaping the benefit of your laughter, and are in fact increasing pain and putting distance between yourself and others

Healthy humor is a whole body experience comprised of three key components:

1.  Laughter, the reflexive and contagious physical experience.

2.  Wit, the cognitive experience.

3.  Amusement (or mirth), the feel good emotional experience enhanced when shared with others.

When these three elements are part of your “laughter” experience, you can be absolutely sure your body is benefiting!

Laughter really does lower blood pressure.  Many tests have shown that those who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.

Laughter protects our hearts.  Laughter can help prevent heart disease.

The “humor factor” actually changes our biochemical state, similar to what the “flight or fight” syndrome does – only laughter changes are good.  It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies.  It makes us more attentive, and increases the heart rate and pulse.

Laughter is a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.  It actually gives us a good workout.  It massages abdominal organs, tones the intestinal functioning, and strengthens muscles that hold abdominal organs in place.  A hearty laugh can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or an exercise bike.

Humor does improve brain function, which in turn helps relieve stress.  It stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance our intellect and learning.  It eases psychological stress and allows people to retain more information.

When we laugh our ability to connect with others improves.   Humor helps us to replace negative emotions with good feelings.

When humor enters it changes our behavior.  We talk more, make more direct eyes contact with others, our energy increases, and simply put, it makes us feel better!

Look for everyday humor.  There is humor to be found!  There are things constantly around us that can incite humor if we let them.  Honestly, you can find silly things happening around you every day.

Look at children.  They can find humor in anything! Surround yourself with positive people.  Take a humor break and pick up a book of jokes to read.  When you start to feel pressured, pick the book up and read a few jokes.

I remember a time years ago that I went to the beach with friends.  Trying to impress the guys, I attached a long ponytail to my own hair.  I looked hot!

When asked to play volleyball I said, “Of course.”  I had a hundred pins holding the darn thing in.  We played for a few minutes and then my ponytail fell off!

Everyone looked shocked and I simply said “Time out”, and I set it by the sidelines and kept playing.  No one laughed or mentioned it, and the game continued.  I played hard and our team won.

When over, I put the hairpiece in my purse and my friend and I went back to the house.  Once the door was closed we burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and laughed until our sides hurt.  I’m still smiling.

Rather than suffer humiliation or embarrassment, I chose to ignore the stress, and just keep going.  It was the best thing I possibly could have done.

Remember, this is your life!  Don’t forget to have fun.  Enjoy your life.  Take a breath and take heart.  It will work out easier if you remember to laugh!

Smile now.  The good times are closer than you think.

You can see the worry by the deep creases in their brows.  You can hear it in the voice of a mother who yells at her child, not to be mean, but because she is tired, and is feeling pressure mounting and tension building.

Notice the disgruntled worker who looses it and flies into a violent rage. His stress is revealed through the explosion manifested from the implosion that took an outward reaction to stress.  They too are on the verge of exhaustion, and could be creating high blood pressure and a potential heart attack!

Don’t say it doesn’t matter how other people feel, because the truth is, it does.  Where there is stress there is disharmony, discomfort, and danger lurking in every corner.

You can be a key factor in changing things if you begin with you!

So how do we work out of these scenarios?  We learn to REALLY manage stress, and REALLY relax!  I don’t mean the kind of relaxation that is poured into a glass, or the kind that you feel when you smoke a cigarette or have a food binge session.  Those things are NOT really relaxing!  Trust me.

Sit back a bit and straighten up and take a nice slow breath in through the nose. Think about it moving throughout your head, giving your brain optimal oxygen.  Then exhale slowly.

With just that simple exercise, you have honestly improved your mind, your energy, and relaxed yourself at the same time.  Does this sound too good to be true? Not even!  It is the physiology of the human body to react in those ways without you even knowing.  But you will if you practice.

Remember the axiom, a Latin proverb, “repetition is the mother of all learning”.  We encourage our children to practice whatever task they are trying to accomplish, so we need to keep that in mind when it comes to ourselves.

You will only your best self if you treat yourself as you would a friend!

With each practice of just this breathing, you are creating new brain cells, and enhancing your life.  Your blood pressure will drop, and your muscles and ligaments and tendons will stay relaxed and flexible.

Do it once an hour.  Are you worth it?  Are you worth taking twenty to thirty seconds every hour to manage your stress and improve your life?  I think you are!

It is so helpful to learn how to lengthen, relax, and decompress your neck and relax your shoulders.  As you become familiar with your own body, you will find there are simple treatments you can manage, to begin to do this.

Because of the structure of our chairs, the positions we sit in, the kind of pillow we use, the weight of our own heads, the purses and backpacks we care, and the stress we maintain, our necks compress little by little. This can cause neck aches, headaches, and your shoulders to further tighten up and stress to begin to control your body.

Here are simple exercises to prepare you for keeping your shoulders down and your neck relaxed.  The primary exercise will always initially begin with exercising your mind.  Take in a needed breath of oxygen.  Stress and pain cause us to hold our breaths.  Slowly exhale and use your mind to visualize the carbon dioxide leaving and therein making room for more oxygen.  Do this several times mindfully.

Now, hold an object weighing one or two pounds in each hand, letting the weight of the objects pull shoulder blades down. Make sure that you keep the breastbone lifting up so that the tops of the shoulders don’t pull down and forward, collapsing the chest.

Set the objects down and see if you can find the muscles you need to pull your shoulder blades down just as the weights did.

These muscles are called the lower trapeziums muscles. They attach to the vertebrae of the middle back, and insert on the inner border of the shoulder blades. They are antagonist muscles to the upper trapeziums muscles.

These muscles are very important posture muscles, and help support the spine in the middle back. When the lower traps are too weak to counteract the pull of the stronger and tighter upper traps, the scapulae will tend to ride up, compressing your neck.

Remember to use your oxygen.  Roll your shoulders simultaneously in circles moving forward.  Do this several times.  Reverse the circles to move towards the back.

Press your shoulders up – then push them down.  Think – and lift your head up from your shoulders where it’s been pressing downward, bend it towards your left shoulder, then lift again and bend towards the right.

Remember, as you decompress, you will allow vital oxygen to move through the areas with ease.  Think of a garden hose that is crimped and how the water doesn’t flow freely.  It works the same with your oxygen.

Take a few breaths. When you begin to feel discomfort again during stressful times, remember to use these simple techniques.  You are in charge of how you feel, and if it’s not good, you are the only one who can change that!

Remember, too, groups are available who can help you discover your stress level through testing, and many organizations have been created specifically to help you through hard times.

Meditation and yoga are two ways to help you learn to manage your stress.

It’s your body, and the only place you have to live!  Take care of it and have a wonderful day and a great weekend.