Category Archives: Relationship Stress

Got no clue of where to go from here? Then just read this short post for fun

If you cannot do what you used to do – do what you can.

A good cry washes the eyes and lets loose of sorrow withheld, to begin anew.

If you want to see trust – look in the eyes of your dog.

You cannot heal if you refuse to think you will.

Never listen to words from a man with a heart of stone.

Remember God, and He will remember you.

Stop long enough to say hello to the person standing next to you in line.  You may see an unexpected smile.

A sincere “thank you” is a gift worth more than gold to the receiver.

Did you see the full moon?  Why not?  How many do you have left in your lifetime?

A good memory needs reviewing on occasion..  A bad one should be dismissed – if the lesson was learned.

Begin to see the series of things that happen in your life not as burdens, but as challenges.

For every kind word you speak to an elderly person, your heart enlarges, and your place in eternity is more certain.

Love children, even if they are dirty and have a runny nose, and are not yours.  They are newcomers to this planet and they learn what they see and hear.  They belong to all of us.

Remember we are all human beings, all flawed, and all overburdened in one way or another. Join together as if someone is invading our homes, as if war is imminent, clasp spirits, and then pray for peace, hand to hand and heart to heart.  We are human.  We are earthlings, here to be a family, to protect the planet, and to forgive, and love one another.

Now stretch your arms up, take a breath, and smile.  CREATE a day worth living!

Always find a way to laugh and be happy.  That’s my plan, and I’m sticking to it!

 

 

 

 

What do you think?

Every thought is a seed planted in your mind.  In the mind of us all our thoughts can be cultivated.

If you think, “I know this will be a good day because I will find at least two wonderful things about it” – it will happen!  Likewise, the other direction too; but why even suggest the negative thoughts, as they are in mass all around us.

Nothing is more powerful than YOU, because YOU are the ONLY ONE who can THINK in your mind!

I must reiterate, though, my faith in God – commonly thought of as the “unseen God”.

I see God all around me in the color of the flowers, the breath of the breeze, the laugh of a child, the singing of the little bird that sits outside my window, and in my capacity to THINK, CHOOSE, and LOVE.

I do not chide those who are not familiar with faith, because we are all children “in process” on this planet.  We all learn at our own pace, and we are given the power to make our own choices.  I am no judge of any man.

As we drift back to cultivating thoughts, I believe I will plan my day.  I have no control over most things, but my attitude is one thing I can command.  Today is bursting with demanding paperwork I must work to complete.  I am on a time schedule and so many of the terms in what I am doing are rather unfamiliar to me.

So here is a seed I will plant.  I am going to tackle my work as best I can.  If I get stuck, I may take a break and get a drink of water, or simply stand up and stretch.  I will stop and use my oxygen to think optimally and stretch my neck and fingers and then get back to the task at hand – refreshed.

I always use my oxygen as a secret weapon – and it is.  When stress enters, so does shallow breathing.  You begin to cut off your oxygen supply to your brain, which needs fifty percent more to function optimally!  So breathe!

I plant the seed knowing I will have to stop to take care of other demands that must be met, and I will do it happily, and consider those times refreshing moments to move.

I will end the day stretching as I stand, pat myself on the back for doing what I can, and plan on a quiet evening with my husband, asking how his day was…it will be a great day.

Those are my seeds.  What will you plant for just this day?

Here is a secret.  I already said a prayer and stretched a bit this morning, and I decided to have coffee and write this post.  I love to write, and because I took this time I will start my other “challenges” with a good attitude, having already done something that I love, and something that heads me in the right direction for a WONDERFUL DAY.

CREATE your life-moment by moment.  Get rid of bad seeds and plant only the good ones.  You will be happy you did.  You can handle anything if you just believe you can!

Invisible injuries – Mental and Physical

Invisible injuries

We all have them.  Whether they be mental or physical, they all come with the territory of being human.

The difficult part is NO ONE on planet earth can fully understand what YOU personally may be tackling as far as these unseen or unknown challenges.  No one will ever know one hundred percent.

This is why in order to succeed in life, we must attend to our own “healing” of mind-body-and spirit, and we must forgive those who don’t GET where we are coming from.

It may be the depths of hell to us, but not even within the view of others understanding.

The reason I lay all of this on US is because I am going through those invisible injuries.

I have had a pile of them all my life (off and on) – WE ALL DO.  They are all different and all in different degrees of the need to heal.

Truth be told, NO ONE but YOU can do the healing.  I will add in (because these are MY thoughts, and this is my place to offer up my thoughts), that if you have a belief system beyond yourself, life will be leaps and bounds easier to handle and the mountains less tenuous to climb.

I am fortunate because I have faith that cannot be shaken no matter how difficult my life becomes….and truth be told again, life does not get easier….it gets harder.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you cannot have laughter, and joy, and love, and reap all the rewards we humans still have available.

The key is how you CHOOSE to respond to your own problems, and the tenderness with which you CHOOSE to have understanding and forgiveness of others.  Personally, I can NEVER hold a grudge.  Being unforgiving and judgemental festers inside you like an infected sore.  When you forgive (even if you don’t mean it at first), you begin to heal from within!  REALLY.  You release ugly and negative thoughts, and are able to use your own healing powers for yourself!

Another great way to handle stress of invisible problems is to breathe.  Get plenty of oxygen and your body will “think” better and “feel” better.  It is THE WAY of your body. Think about it.  Slow or stop breathing and what happens?  Less oxygen, less optimal thinking and healing, and ultimately death!  So is it important?  What do you think?

Lastly, I guarantee I have at least thirty to forty things going on within me physically and mentally that no one can ever understanding.  But what I realize is it is UP TO ME to handle it all.  I tried being miserable.  It sucked.  So I gave it up!

You can rise above WHATEVER it is that is aching to pull you down.  Try not to exclusively dwell on the problems.  Divert your own attention by accomplishing tasks that lay before you.  When you feel like a pity party, TAKE A BREATH – think of it like ammo and a secret weapon.  It is.  If you think this is all pie in the sky and just words –

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!

I would not waste my precious moments (and each moment is precious to me), expounding on words with no meaning.  Thoughts with no depth.

So please think about it.  Read this again, and remember:

REPITITION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LEARNING. SO PRACTICE THESE TECHNIQUES.  THEY ARE FREE AND THEY WORK!

God bless you!

Walking on Eggshells?

Walking on Eggshells-You’ve Probably heard this before:

“The idiom walking on eggshells generally describes a situation in which people must tread lightly around a sensitive topic, or make every effort not to offend a volatile or hypersensitive person. Literally walking on the empty shells of eggs would require exceptional caution and self-control, similar to the feeling of avoiding conflict with an easily disturbed friend, relative or employer. Family members of active alcoholics or ragea-aholics often use this phrase to describe their careful avoidance of conflict with their loved one. The origin of the idiom is a matter of dispute, but the general consensus is that walking on eggshells came from the same place as other cautionary actions, such as walking on thin ice or broken glass. Some sources suggest that it came from an earlier idiom, “walking on eggs.” While walking on eggshells presents enough difficulty for most people, walking on the whole egg without damage would be nearly impossible. Certain politicians who took extraordinarily cautious positions on an issue were said to have the dubious ability to walk on eggs without breaking them.”                     (Excerpts from Wise Geek)

 

So there is the definition.  The way I have always heard it used is when someone is in an abusive relationship and they dodge a bullet, or an angry person, by‘walking on eggshells”.  Treading lightly, so to speak, for fear of a reprisal, whether verbal or physical.  I know many moms who back down from an angry partner for the “sake” of the children, or fear of harm from their own husband or partner.

If you have found yourself cowering, or bending over backwards to take care not to anger a sleeping giant, here is my advice.  GET HELP!  Get it now before it is too late.  If you cannot get help – at least get the hell out of the way!  I know it sounds easier than it is, but if there is that fear within you of “danger”, there should also be the word SURVIVAL come to mind.

This is not a joke, sadly.  Our culture is geared at such a fast pace right now, and the stress levels of those who are in the position of earning money – to survive – is right at the breaking point.

No matter what the media reports, things are not improving for the peasants.  Anyone who is less than he / or she needs, feels the pinch.  Last month our house payment went up eighty dollars, our utility bill was up fifty; food and other goods have steadily been rising over the past three or four years.  All the “jobs” that are reported were the holiday part-time jobs that have no benefits, and only lasted until after the “shopping season” ended.

Pressure all around, with “no vents” like a pressure cooker.  In the final act of that scene, everything blows.  SO STAY ON YOUR TOES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Remember you are the only person who can SAVE YOU!  I pray and have great faith in God, so in that sense, my life is easier than some.  When I pray, I believe the burden is lifted and handed to God, and to show my faith, I find some relaxation in the scenarios.

For those of you who believe – do pray.  Then think about your situation and if there need be changes for your safety, or the safety of your children – begin to organize a withdrawal from danger for your family.

If you do not pray, you still must evaluate the situation you are in currently, and if there are red flags for danger, begin to make an exit plan.  If you BELIEVE with all your heart that counseling or communication can literally help, by all means, initiate it.  You always have the option in the future, if times worsen, to make changes.  Just be sure NOT to place you or your children in a volatile situation.

For those who are unemployed (either short term, or long term), those who have addictions to alcohol or drugs, those who have anger management issues, the “times” are very trying.

It is fine to take these things into consideration if you opt to try to work things out.  HOWEVER, be aware if the communication stops, if there is no attempt to correct change the “danger zone” – it is time to make a change!

God bless you and those you are trying to protect from an impossible situation.  YOU have to evaluate and take steps forward soon.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  DO NOT BE IN DENIAL OR YOU MAY WIND UP A STATISTIC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Do this Now

Take a moment to regenerate.  Begin to free your thoughts from tension.  Start with the top of your head and feel the muscles of your scalp and forehead relax.  Take a breath, inhaling through the nose, and exhaling through the mouth, and actually feel you begin to relax and let go of tension.

Let your eyes relax.  You use them every waking moment.  Close them for a moment and rub your fingertips together until they begin to get warm – then place them gently on your eyes for a moment.  Now open your eyes and blink several times.

If you are 50 or older, begin to use “tears” or some other lubricant for your eyes.  The fluid begins to dry and the drop will help immensely, especially for those who sit at the computer all day long.

Now let your jaw and tongue relax.  Actually feel them relax.  Continue with your shoulders, then your arms and hands, your back, your chest, your abdomen, your thighs and legs and feet.

To help you continue to relax each set of muscles say to them silently: relax and let go.
Work on every area of your body temple until you feel that each muscles is thoroughly relaxed.  This relaxation can be done in two mindful minutes (a break at work to refresh and regenerate), or after you go home.

It may require some time before you relax completely.  But you can learn to relax in mind and body, remembering to gently remind each set of muscles to relax.  It may seem too simple to really work, but trust me, I have seen miracles wrought in stress management just by beginning with this simple relaxation.

Do it every hour for a minute or two, on your breaks, every four hours, or when you get home – but BE SURE TO DO IT.  If you are seeking true stress management, and I believe that is why you are here, it begins with you, and it can begin now.

What can be simpler?  Your own personal relaxation at no cost except a precious few minutes that can change your life.  CREATE your life, and God bless you!

Quick tips to Manage Intense Pain and Stress (A bit longer post, but worth it!)

This post will be brief, but I think it VERY important in the arena of stress management.

You may not know “my story”, but for now (see my positive attitude), I am fairly disabled.

When I awoke I wasn’t certain which part of my body hurt the worst, or if I would even be able to walk today, with the help of the walker.

It doesn’t matter if I tell you ALL that is wrong with me, but what matters is the managing of stress and pain.  I am an expert at that!  Twenty plus years as a trainer gave me the best gifts.  I use what I taught, and it has changed my life – even to this very day.

My first power source, and I must tell you, will always be my faith.   I keep my faith strong no matter what happens, and I will never blame God for tragedy.  We are humans with free with free will, time and circumstance and the results of our “choices” lay directly in our hands.

Genetics may play a part, but again, it’s not what we have in our hands, but what we do with it.

The first thing to do when you feel can’t do anything is to pray.  I don’t care if you pray to the wind.  Find something bigger than yourself and plea for healing, courage, and determination.  The wind will carry your pleas to a higher source, which loves us all!  I prayed to God.

The second thing to do is DIVERT YOUR OWN ATTENTION AWAY FROM THE PAIN AND DISABILITY.  I admit I have access to pain medication – but I am in charge of it – not the meds in charge of me.  It takes an hour to relieve some pain, and so I ate a bowl of cereal so I wouldn’t get sick.

Three weeks ago I quit taking ANY oxycotin!  I did it on my own.  I knew it would take “balls”, so I borrowed my husbands! (heehee).  I am now in the process of weaning off the minimal amount of percecot I still take.  I know for a while I must continue some, as one of my problems is both hips are so “bone on bone” I am grating new hip sockets.  Without a bit of meds I really would be unable to walk until I get new hips…. but first I have to heal from the other disability I’ve been handed by poor medical care.

Anyway, to make this a post, and not a book, I will try to be brief.

1.  Pray.  At least be still at think of healing for a few moments.  Do stretch before you leave the bed, even for a moment.

2.  Divert your attention away from the pain and get up and do something!

Anything!  I don’t work out of the home, so after a quick bowl of cereal and a piece of fruit, I went to the laundry room and began the laundry!

Pretty soon I was folding clothes and feeling better.  I called the dog (petting a dog is VERY good for stress management) and then I got her a bowl of food and opened the back door so she could go outside when she needed to do so.

 

 

 

I breathed mindfully; all the while I was “working”.  My next task was to start writing.  I write with purpose.  I want to share those gifts I been given with others, and particularly since I know they work.

Those are pretty easy steps to feel better.  Modify to your own situation.

Right now I feel one hundred times better than I did upon waking.  At some point I will have to use ice and heat, and rest.  Later today I will go to physical therapy to work as hard as they let me.

STRESS MANAGEMENT IS PRETTY MUCH ALL IN THE MIND. If you don’t like it, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT.  THERE IS ALWAYS A WAY.  BUT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN MAKE CHANGES.

I want you to take a moment or two, figure out what is best for you, and do it.  There is a third suggestion.  BE CONSISTENT.  We are creatures of habit, and if you consistently do the “little” things that are right for you, you will learn to manage your own stress and it won’t cost you a nickel!

CREATE a beautiful day, and one in which you are captain of your ship.

I really care!        (As an added note, these tips are invaluable for use in managing ANY type stress.  Use them.)

 

Stress magement in action

Take a deep breath or two as you read this.  It will help you to relax (it’s the way the body works!).

Now since this is Friday, you are probably visualizing a relaxing weekend.  I hope so!  But if you are one of these folks who have to work (like my husband) remember are fortunate to be working, and a Saturday means extra money.  That should make the day of rest on Sunday even sweeter.

No matter what you have to do – lawn manicuring, taking the children to swimming lessons, working outside the home, or just being a couch potato, remember the relaxation of it all is strictly up to you….You can CHOOSE to be pissed.  Choose to say, “I can’t do it”, or you can remember YOUR RESPONSE TO LIFE is 100% in your capable and intelligent hands.

No matter what happens you ALWAYS choose your response.  And since times are a bit unnerving, remember theses MOMENTS in time are all we have…literally, moments.

So make sure you choose wisely your response to life.  Include a bit of patience, breathing, and a vision of the things you are happy about in your life.  REALLY, think and choose wisely.  We could all be dust in the wind the next moment, so put your stress management techniques into effect NOW.

CREATE your life moment by moment.  If you think this is silly – I guarantee it is not. It will go a long way to brighten your day and your weekend.  I care.  I want others to feel as I do – no matter what happens!

I am walking better in my walker, and I am HAPPY!  I choose to be.