Opt for Optimism

Research has shown that the majority of illnesses, including backaches, headaches, and even heart disease, can be caused or influenced by our feelings and our stress levels.

When we experience life changes-positive or negative-our bodies need time to recover.  If we have an optimistic attitude, it can help speed recover and may even keep you healthier than someone with negative attitudes.

By learning to look on the “bright side” you can help counteract the negative effects of stress and improve your overall health.

Look on the Bright Side

The classic definition of an optimist is a person who sees a glass as half full, while the pessimist sees it as half empty.

Optimists choose to feel hopeful about how they see a situation.

Optimists are positive thinkers who practice positive “self-talk”. Optimists tell themselves, “I can do it.  I will do it. ”

Surprisingly, optimism, or positive thinking, can help accomplish a surprising number of personal goals.

How to Become an Optimist

Find a role model.  Find someone who seems to make the best of any given situation.  Find out how that person maintains that attitude and copy the behavior!   Get in the habit of responding in a positive manner.  Chances are that this role model, even during difficult times, will get through the circumstance with fewer negative effects.

Practice positive self-talk.  Repetition is the mother of all learning, and the only way to change the habit of constant negativity, is by training yourself.   Tell yourself positive things for a month.  Make that brief commitment and follow through and it can change your life.  Leave out of your vocabulary negative words such as “can’t, won’t, or don’t”.

Practice positive affirmations.  Affirmations are positive, and motivating statements.  Use short “I am” statements:  “I am calm and will respond with intellect.”  “I am changing to become more positive.”  Say the affirmations out loud several times, and then imagine it happening.  You are in the process of creating new brain cells that are based on your positive thoughts and affirmations.

No one is optimistic all the time.  It just isn’t possible.  We are all human.  But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude.  When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to a happier, healthier body, mind and spirit.

Now take a deep inhalation of oxygen and think, “I am in charge of my attitude and the response to any challenge I may encounter.”

CREATE a wonderful day!

I never dreamed the day would wind up like this.  It began like any other.  But one thing about life I know for sure is that you cannot count on things remaining the same, and just as you believe you “have things under control”, another stressor will come to fruition.

I have made many mistakes in this life, as we all do.  I know the majority of them and have endeavored to learn and go forth.  Apparently something triggered this and what is done, is done.

So where am I going with this?  This website is dedicated to teaching stress management techniques that work in crisis.  This “problem” is a huge crisis for me, and here is how I am handling it.

No one ever said some stress is not disastrous.  No one ever said it couldn’t break your heart – at least for a time.

The first thing I did was to allow myself to cry. The kind of cry that makes you sob long after the tears diminishes.    As a matter of fact, I am still weeping after several hours.  A good cry washes the eyes and releases all the pent up emotions that are strangling us from within.

I also stopped and used my oxygen to “settle down” and keep my body relaxed, and my mind functioning as optimally as possible.

If you are alone (and I am alone, for a time), remember there is help somewhere. I did hug my puppy. It’s proven that hugging or petting an animal is a great help to calm stress.

If you have a friend, neighbor or relative that you can share with, call them.  I said prayers.  There are also resources available to help you if you are desperate.

Call your church; look up websites for critical help.  Call local organizations that are available for counseling.

I am settled enough now to sit and write this post, and believe it-the writing has actually made me feel better.  It has made me quit crying, and settle down. It has diverted my attention to what is in front of me, and not the reality I can do nothing to change this situation right now.  I did not react and get mad.  I am slowing myself so I will be able to make rational decisions about this problem.

Go for a walk.  You can workout at the gym.  Diversion can be a lifesaver.

Remember, some things in life YOU will not be able to resolve like you would desire to do so!  That’s just the way it is.

Suicide is not an option.  It’s actually rather stupid as it

really stops ANYTHING.  No healing, no life.  It leaves a legacy you probably wouldn’t want to have as people are remembering you.

Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes – they are not the answer.  They take away your true self and muddle your thoughts and reactions.

So this is the reality as it is happening to me.  You may not be able to change the scenario, but you always have a choice as to your response to it!

I am going to take a few more breaths, close for today, and simply say, YOU CAN HANDLE whatever comes up as a stress factor.  I am.

You are not alone either.  If you need to do what I am doing by writing, drop me an email and I will respond with the best help I can share!

No matter what age you are, good health habits are a huge part of taking care of yourself.  Practicing good habits do not guarantee that you will never get sick, or that you will live longer, but they will improve the way you feel and the quality of your life.  They also build your immunity, which can keep you from “catching” frequent colds and letting illness rule your life.

You only have one body to live in, so let’s review a bit of pertinent information. It’s not as difficult as you think.

Stay active with exercise

Don’t respond with “I hate exercise”.  Exercise does not mean you have to spend your life at the gym.  It should be fun, interchangeable, and something that will trigger excitement instead of dread.

There is a world of wonderful ways to get exercise.  The first one is simply walking.   A recent study showed that by taking a brisk, half-hour walk just six times a month, you cut the risk of early death by forty-four percent!  That’s astounding.

If you just can’t “squeeze” that into your schedule – first of all, shame on you!  You are worth that minimum amount of time to keep your body healthy.  After all, if you aren’t healthy you can’t perform any function optimally.  The world that surrounds you, family, work, friends, peers, will all NOT GET the best of you – so take a breath and read on.

If you still reconcile that you cannot afford that amount of time, do this:  Park further from the store.  On a break walk (even if it’s up and down the back stairs or through the office.)

Take your lunch and find a friend and walk the first fifteen minutes.  Stand in front of the television and walk in place.

Anything you do will help to better your health.  The trick is to do it regularly.  Get in the habit of allowing you that minimal amount of time to help your mind and body.

Your circulation will be better and you will return to your job refreshed.  A ten-minute walk can be relaxing and invigorating too.

You can join a health club.  Take a yoga class, walk with a friend, or play tennis.  Vacuum. That may not be the most fun, but consider it a dance, and sing, and it will be better.  Even gardening is a great exercise.  Body movement and breathing are keys to good health.

Exercise has many benefits.  It reduces STRESS, boredom, depression, and improves sleep.  It improves the skin and muscle tone.  It improves blood circulation, balance and flexibility.  It lowers blood pressure and even reduces the risk for adult-onset diabetes.

So now – get up and shake everything.  Take a breath.  Come

on, it’s you LIFE!  Do something to make it better.  This is easy stuff.  Take another breath and stretch your arms above your head and remember – “I am alive.  I can do whatever I choose!

It’s REALLY my option!”

BUT BURNOUT CAN BE AVOIDED.

As with most behaviors, when you learn how to recognize the problem, the causes and symptoms, and ways you can change your environment to reduce stressful situations, you will find you can “manage stress” much more effectively, and probably not burnout at all!

Burnout most often occurs in people who feel that they are overworked and unappreciated.  They become disappointed and sometimes very cynical.  They may also feel guilty and ashamed, and may secretly blame themselves.

Signs a burnout can be near include exhaustion (both mental and physical); hopelessness and helplessness; low self-esteem and low spirit, and perhaps more frequent illness.

Burnout often occurs in professionals that “help”, such as nursing or teaching.  But anyone who feels very pressured, or even bored from work can suffer from burnout.

The first step towards recovery from any stress related concern is to define the problem.  Is the situation itself stressful?  Is the problem just some small matter that triggers these feelings?  Is there something about your situation you can change?

Nurses as an example again, particularly those who care for terminally ill patients, can be prime candidates for burnout.  However, by accepting that the scenario itself is stressful, they can reduce feelings of guilt and resentment.

Make Changes

Changes in both you and your environment can help prevent burnout.  You must let your emotional response take a step back, and let your intellect analyze the situation.  You may have more ability to change your environment than you think. Try to think in positive terms to follow with positive actions.

If a lack of appreciation on the job is damaging your morale, take charge.  Your environment will change as you develop skills to communicate and voice a calm and intelligent opinion about matters to either superiors or your peers. Share your feelings and listen to others.  This is simple and yet can have awe-inspiring results.

When you ignore your needs (both physical and mental) during a period of constant or severe distress, burnout is surely going to be a result.  You must take time to recover and heal from burnout if it strikes.  It can ignite a series of other physical ailments if ignored.

Use and develop skills such as risk-taking, reaching out to friends and family, and talking with others in similar circumstances.

Ask someone your respect to look at your situation and suggest solutions.  Use this change to make burnout a first step toward greater satisfaction.

Above all, before any response, use your oxygen to calm and regenerate you.  Always breathing in slowly, visualize it helping your intellect and your muscles relax.  Then exhale slowly, visualizing all the negativity flying out the fingertips, and making way for positive responses.

Why not practice right now with a few thoughtful breaths.  It will help you right away!  Believe it.  Scientists are now proving “the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of gray matter.”  It certainly can’t hurt!

Yes it can!

Everyone knows that laughter feels good.  Laughter can make any situation a little more bearable, but did you know it could actually make you healthier?

Children laugh about 400 times a day.  Adults only laugh about 15 times a day, and that’s not the majority of adults.

Many of us get so wrapped up in the serious side of our jobs, whether it be in an office, working outside, or parenting.  The trouble with that is we simply aren’t laughing enough.  When we get so bogged down and serious, our stress levels spiral out of control.  Oftentimes we forget there is really still a lighter side to life.

How often do you let yourself laugh?  How often to you chuckle or really laugh until it hurts?  Not often enough I’d bet!

Laughter is really an all-around health booster.  According to “Science of Laughter” on the Discovery Health Web site, when we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase.

Not only that, but Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein, T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells

(which make disease -fighting antibodies) increase too!

Blood pressure lowers with laughter, and you breathe more when laughing, thereby increasing oxygen in the blood.  That also encourages healing.

Be aware though, what “some people” call humor is not beneficial.  When jokes and laughter turn into jabs towards others, and yourself, you are no longer reaping the benefit of your laughter, and are in fact increasing pain and putting distance between yourself and others

Healthy humor is a whole body experience comprised of three key components:

1.  Laughter, the reflexive and contagious physical experience.

2.  Wit, the cognitive experience.

3.  Amusement (or mirth), the feel good emotional experience enhanced when shared with others.

When these three elements are part of your “laughter” experience, you can be absolutely sure your body is benefiting!

Laughter really does lower blood pressure.  Many tests have shown that those who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.

Laughter protects our hearts.  Laughter can help prevent heart disease.

The “humor factor” actually changes our biochemical state, similar to what the “flight or fight” syndrome does – only laughter changes are good.  It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies.  It makes us more attentive, and increases the heart rate and pulse.

Laughter is a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.  It actually gives us a good workout.  It massages abdominal organs, tones the intestinal functioning, and strengthens muscles that hold abdominal organs in place.  A hearty laugh can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or an exercise bike.

Humor does improve brain function, which in turn helps relieve stress.  It stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance our intellect and learning.  It eases psychological stress and allows people to retain more information.

When we laugh our ability to connect with others improves.   Humor helps us to replace negative emotions with good feelings.

When humor enters it changes our behavior.  We talk more, make more direct eyes contact with others, our energy increases, and simply put, it makes us feel better!

Look for everyday humor.  There is humor to be found!  There are things constantly around us that can incite humor if we let them.  Honestly, you can find silly things happening around you every day.

Look at children.  They can find humor in anything! Surround yourself with positive people.  Take a humor break and pick up a book of jokes to read.  When you start to feel pressured, pick the book up and read a few jokes.

I remember a time years ago that I went to the beach with friends.  Trying to impress the guys, I attached a long ponytail to my own hair.  I looked hot!

When asked to play volleyball I said, “Of course.”  I had a hundred pins holding the darn thing in.  We played for a few minutes and then my ponytail fell off!

Everyone looked shocked and I simply said “Time out”, and I set it by the sidelines and kept playing.  No one laughed or mentioned it, and the game continued.  I played hard and our team won.

When over, I put the hairpiece in my purse and my friend and I went back to the house.  Once the door was closed we burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and laughed until our sides hurt.  I’m still smiling.

Rather than suffer humiliation or embarrassment, I chose to ignore the stress, and just keep going.  It was the best thing I possibly could have done.

Remember, this is your life!  Don’t forget to have fun.  Enjoy your life.  Take a breath and take heart.  It will work out easier if you remember to laugh!

Smile now.  The good times are closer than you think.

You can see the worry by the deep creases in their brows.  You can hear it in the voice of a mother who yells at her child, not to be mean, but because she is tired, and is feeling pressure mounting and tension building.

Notice the disgruntled worker who looses it and flies into a violent rage. His stress is revealed through the explosion manifested from the implosion that took an outward reaction to stress.  They too are on the verge of exhaustion, and could be creating high blood pressure and a potential heart attack!

Don’t say it doesn’t matter how other people feel, because the truth is, it does.  Where there is stress there is disharmony, discomfort, and danger lurking in every corner.

You can be a key factor in changing things if you begin with you!

So how do we work out of these scenarios?  We learn to REALLY manage stress, and REALLY relax!  I don’t mean the kind of relaxation that is poured into a glass, or the kind that you feel when you smoke a cigarette or have a food binge session.  Those things are NOT really relaxing!  Trust me.

Sit back a bit and straighten up and take a nice slow breath in through the nose. Think about it moving throughout your head, giving your brain optimal oxygen.  Then exhale slowly.

With just that simple exercise, you have honestly improved your mind, your energy, and relaxed yourself at the same time.  Does this sound too good to be true? Not even!  It is the physiology of the human body to react in those ways without you even knowing.  But you will if you practice.

Remember the axiom, a Latin proverb, “repetition is the mother of all learning”.  We encourage our children to practice whatever task they are trying to accomplish, so we need to keep that in mind when it comes to ourselves.

You will only your best self if you treat yourself as you would a friend!

With each practice of just this breathing, you are creating new brain cells, and enhancing your life.  Your blood pressure will drop, and your muscles and ligaments and tendons will stay relaxed and flexible.

Do it once an hour.  Are you worth it?  Are you worth taking twenty to thirty seconds every hour to manage your stress and improve your life?  I think you are!

Actually these two “techniques” have been around for decades, but the reason you probably don’t often think of them as something that will manage stress, is that you may not realize the power these two techniques will present to you when practiced.

They may not seem like something that will really help manage your stress – but they do!

Simply written, these are the techniques.

1.  Forgive.

2.  Count your blessings.

Don’t stop reading and scoff, thinking “Oh sure…this won’t work.”   This is the truth; the magic of doing these two things, if you are sincere in heart, will astound you.

Beginning with forgiveness, you must open your mind enough to realize that whatever is still burning you with anger, and holding you from forgiving, whether it directed to a person or situation, is a huge stressor.

The power within you is endless, but you must begin to develop your receptivity of this power by growing in understanding and practicing changing your mind about a few things.  You must be willing to believe that two small techniques can be life changing.  The statistics are in.  Results have been proven.

To forgive you must be able to step out of the prison you have built around you and outgrow old tendencies to “to hold grudges” against your fellow human beings, and life itself

In doing this you will release a mountain of negative thoughts and feelings.  Old emotions that are pent up and that make you feel terrible, will be gone!  There will be a burden lifted from you.  Let someone else JUDGE what has happened…the people involved, or the scenario.

You don’t have to hang out with people you forgive. You just need to forgive them.  They are human, and so are you.  Personally I’ve made a million mistakes in my life, so I find it easy to forgive when I think of that.

Even “big forgiveness” for major wrongs is possible.  You see, the only person who suffers is the person who dwells in the hell of not forgiving.

Now, when it comes to counting blessings, there are always so many blessings to count if we just take a moment and think!

We are creatures who have been given that capacity…try it.

(If you need help – find it!  YOU ARE WORTH LIFE!)

Name ten things you are grateful for right now.  Here is my list right off the bat:

1.  My children and grandchildren are okay.

2.  My husband still loves me.

3.  I can walk, run, dance, see, hear, and laugh.

4.  I have running water.

5.  Music is available for me to surround myself with and enjoy.

6.  I don’t have to kill another animal in my life to survive, or to help my children survive.

7.  I can use the internet productively and choose NOT to be a pervert.

8.  Millions of people close to me haven’t been displaced because of flooding……..

9.  I still do believe in God and Jesus Christ.

10.  My puppy loves me.

This is NOT in the order of the absolute most important ….they just came to mind in a flash!

YOU STILL HAVE CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU ARE A BREATHING HUMAN BEING.  THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS BE THE CHOICES YOU THINK YOU NEED OR WANT, BUT YOUR RESPONSE TO WHAT HAPPENS IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE.

CHOOSE WISELY AND CREATE WONDERFUL MOMENTS…THAT IS ALL WE HAVE ARE THE MOMENTS THAT ARE FLEETING.  SOMEONE REALLY CARES IN CYBERSPACE!to you, when used and practiced. .

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Also you can – Try yoga – Check out stress management classes on line – Take a breath and release old burdens and take in new thoughts – Pray -Talk to friends – Find a support group.

It is so helpful to learn how to lengthen, relax, and decompress your neck and relax your shoulders.  As you become familiar with your own body, you will find there are simple treatments you can manage, to begin to do this.

Because of the structure of our chairs, the positions we sit in, the kind of pillow we use, the weight of our own heads, the purses and backpacks we care, and the stress we maintain, our necks compress little by little. This can cause neck aches, headaches, and your shoulders to further tighten up and stress to begin to control your body.

Here are simple exercises to prepare you for keeping your shoulders down and your neck relaxed.  The primary exercise will always initially begin with exercising your mind.  Take in a needed breath of oxygen.  Stress and pain cause us to hold our breaths.  Slowly exhale and use your mind to visualize the carbon dioxide leaving and therein making room for more oxygen.  Do this several times mindfully.

Now, hold an object weighing one or two pounds in each hand, letting the weight of the objects pull shoulder blades down. Make sure that you keep the breastbone lifting up so that the tops of the shoulders don’t pull down and forward, collapsing the chest.

Set the objects down and see if you can find the muscles you need to pull your shoulder blades down just as the weights did.

These muscles are called the lower trapeziums muscles. They attach to the vertebrae of the middle back, and insert on the inner border of the shoulder blades. They are antagonist muscles to the upper trapeziums muscles.

These muscles are very important posture muscles, and help support the spine in the middle back. When the lower traps are too weak to counteract the pull of the stronger and tighter upper traps, the scapulae will tend to ride up, compressing your neck.

Remember to use your oxygen.  Roll your shoulders simultaneously in circles moving forward.  Do this several times.  Reverse the circles to move towards the back.

Press your shoulders up – then push them down.  Think – and lift your head up from your shoulders where it’s been pressing downward, bend it towards your left shoulder, then lift again and bend towards the right.

Remember, as you decompress, you will allow vital oxygen to move through the areas with ease.  Think of a garden hose that is crimped and how the water doesn’t flow freely.  It works the same with your oxygen.

Take a few breaths. When you begin to feel discomfort again during stressful times, remember to use these simple techniques.  You are in charge of how you feel, and if it’s not good, you are the only one who can change that!

Remember, too, groups are available who can help you discover your stress level through testing, and many organizations have been created specifically to help you through hard times.

Meditation and yoga are two ways to help you learn to manage your stress.

It’s your body, and the only place you have to live!  Take care of it and have a wonderful day and a great weekend.

You Can Deal with Them!

Everyone is irritable or indecisive at times.  But some people are so difficult that they make others’ lives and work a strain.  You know, you’ve walked into your workplace and seen the stress mounting minute by minute.

Dealing with difficult people is easier when you learn to recognize common personality types.  Then it is possible to develop coping skills for dealing with each without trying to change them!

Prior to any confrontation or blow-up, the first defense against this kind of person is for YOU to slow down and do some thoughtful breathing.  Remember your oxygen will regenerate and relax you simultaneously.

There are seven behavior types with whom most people have difficulty.

1.  Bullies.  These are hostile and angry, and throw tantrums to get their way.

2.  Silent personalities.  They don’t say much.  You can yell at them, talk to them, or beg them to talk and you won’t be able to get more than a “yes” or “no” in response.

3.  Complainers.  These people gripe about everything they don’t like, but rarely do they make a move to change the situation.

4.  Very nice people seem to agree with you, but won’t do what they say they will.

5.  Negative responders.  They say no to every new idea and are positive nothing will work.

6.  Know it all.  They always “know better”, are condescending and truly full of themselves.

7.  Procrastinators.  These folks put things off until someone else takes over, or until the decision is made because of delay.

All of these behaviors in people can be very annoying, upsetting and stressful.  They keep everyone except the difficult person off balance.  This can be true even though they may not be trying to control others.

Coping balances the power between people.  It helps everyone get things done without stalling at the roadblocks difficult people set up.

The next time someone practices difficult behaviors around you, try these simple techniques:

For bullies, stand up for yourself.  Use phrases like “I believe” or “I feel”.  Don’t try to fight them.  Instead make your point firmly.

For silent types, ask a question that must be answered by more than a “yes” or “no”.  If you get no response, let this type know your plans.

Speak directly to complainers and let them know you’ve heard their concern.  Then directly ask, “What is it you want?”

Those very nice people have a strong need to be liked; show them that you do.  Then dig to find out what’s really happening.

Don’t argue with those negative responders.  Instead, suggest what won’t work before they do.

When face to face with the know-it-all types, have all the facts before you before you meet.  Raise possible problems, and be ready to follow through.

Listen to the “stallers”. Find out what the real reason for the delay is.  Help them, and ask them for help.

You can’t always avoid difficult people, but learning to cope with them is well worth the effort.  You’ll get more done and be less frustrated.  Your stress level will diminish to an acceptable level, and your ability to handle it will astound you!

Take a breath and have a wonderful day!

Does this describe you? Your shoulders are tense your back hurts.  You feel grouchy and can’t quite put your finger on why you feel like —–.  Your wife (girlfriend, children or roommate) looks at you like you are a monster!  WHAT CAN YOU DO?

YOU CAN HELP RELIEVE BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL TENSION THAT OFTEN ACCOMPANIES STRESSFUL SITUATIONS!

Relax your body and relax your Emotions

The next time you feel the effects of stress too much, when you are overwhelmed, try some of the following ways to help you relax

1.  Deep breathing is your number one defense against unmanageable stress.  You can sit, lie down, or stand to do this.

Close your eyes and breathe in slowly for a count of 5-10 seconds. By closing your eyes you will give them a rest too. Take ten of these super-relaxers any time you feel tense.

2.  Stretch.  Practice simple stretches that also be done in various positions.  Gently roll your head in a half circle from side to side with your head pressing towards your chest.  Stretch your arms into the air and stretch you fingers too.  Point your toes away from your body, and then flex them towards you.  Stretching will allow the blood circulation to those parts of the body that have been “crunched” by poor posture or sitting at a desk.

3.  Any kind of exercise is wonderful to help reduce stress.  Make it fun.  A walk, hiking, bowling, running, or playing a game of badminton or golf are good examples of fun exercise.

4.  Laugh!  Laughter is healing and a great way to relax.  Go to a comedy club, rent a funny movie, or give that funny friend of yours a call.   It’s impossible to really laugh and be tense.

5.  Read.  A good book can take you on a great escape.  Read a comedy or a tearjerker and it will help release pent-up emotions.

6.  Take a bath.  Spend at least 30 minutes soaking in a hot bubble bath.  Prior to slipping into the tub, light a few candles and play some very relaxing music.

7.  Eat well.  Try to eat a well-balanced diet, as it will help your body to perform, and keep your mind functioning optimally.

8.  Do something you love to do.  If you like to go to the beach, go.

Gardening, kayaking, seeing friends, playing with a puppy, these are all wonderful ways to relax your emotions.

9.  Talk.  Take time to talk with a friend or relative.  Try to express feelings that you may have been holding inside.  Listen to your partner.  Try to have this conversation while walking in a quiet park or neighborhood.

10.  Get a massage.  A massage is a wonderful way to get rid of physical tension.  30 minutes to an hour will work wonders.  Do not be shy about your body.  Professional masseuses have seen body types of all kinds, and they are there to help. Request specific areas of tension, such as the neck or lower back.

Keep in mind these are just a few of the many stress reducers you can try.  Alcohol and drugs are a “temporary” fix and will take you down ultimately, and even cause depression!  Do yourself a favor and begin now.

Close your eyes.  Breathe in deeply and slowly exhale.  You are the only one who can help you, so get to it and create a wonderful day!