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This is how to have a great weekend

DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH!  If you think this is a joke – Not!What is the old saying, “Nothing like a reformed prostitute”?

Preach, preach, preach.  Wasn’t in that profession (I might be rich:), but I can relate to drinking too much and throwing away a period of time in my life that has tortured me for thirty years after.  I thought I was in control.  I thought I was just being social.  I thought I needed a drink or two to relax and be comfortable and with the crowd.  I thought a drink would take the edge off of the stress of the day.  I thought since it was legal and “pushed” there could be nothing wrong with a glass of wine at night, or a drink.  I thought, I thought, I thought.

Then I drank, I drank, I drank.  I never went to AA.  I was never a smelly drunk laying on the street with an empty bottle in my hand.

I was a “functional” drinker.  I could partake and still take care of all my responsibilities and my children and husband.  HOWEVER…..there is no such animal.  You can fool yourself, but you will not fool your children, or your family and friends.

Alcohol is a seductive and nasty drug.  It will take you down over and over again.  ”Methinketh thou protests too much” Shakespeare wrote…..you know you can handle it.  This doesn’t apply to you.

Okay – I am being brutally honest about myself because I CARE.  Brutally honest because I found, thirty years later, there were still things I did not remember because of blackouts.  I am lucky to be alive.  I am blessed.  I do not want you to go through the same hell for a drink!

I wrote this about fifteen years ago, and would like to share it with you.  REAL STRESS MANAGEMENT does not include a drink “because you need it to relax”.  That is a lie and in the long run it will take charge and it CAN ruin your life.  Think about it.  Great goals are never easy.  But from experience I can tell you – absolutely worth the effort!  God bless.

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My Friend

You’ve been my friend for over thirty years.  Still, we teeter between love and hate.

You were with me for the good times.  You were with me when I was down or in pain.

You were my friend when I was lonely and felt I had no other friend.

You gave me courage when I felt insecure, you made me forget.

You’ve been with me to heaven’s gate and then to the gates of hell.

It seems you’ve always been near, within my reach.

 

At times I hated you, but just when I thought you were gone for good, little by little,

You subtly sneaked your way back into my life.

You’ve always had your way with me.

You, my treacherous friend sometimes made me turn into someone else, a monster.

You made me seething with hatred and anger.

You made me think I wanted to kill myself.

You stole my will.

You made me see from a perspective that was not my own.

 

You sucked the life from me and yet I found myself calling on you again and again!

You invaded every area of my life, took me up and then dropped me down again.

You usurped my energy and spirituality.

You took my creativity, my intellect, and my motivation to be me.

 

When we parted you still affected my days and nights.  I thought I needed you.

You almost killed me more than once with your reckless and distorted control.

You lure me into that altered state of consciousness, to be drunk.

To sleep the perpetual sleep, never perceiving reality.

Never to see the true shining star from within.

 

You are NO FRIEND OF MINE John Barleycorn.  You are alcohol, the devil in disguise. You and your associates will not steal my life again. I vow you will not win.

 

You are socially acceptable.  You are legal.  You are NO FRIEND OF MINE!

 

 

Familiar with this word?

INCREMENTS: increase, addition, supplement, gain, augmentation.

These are but a few definitions of the word “increments”.  I am not a dictionary, but I love words, and sometimes I think the right words can be useful as well as beautiful.

I need to remember this word.  When a person is injured, or has a specific procedure to correct something, or even an emergency operation, this word is very important.

It takes only a second for one of these things to occur or begin, but it takes a vast amount of time for ANY human body to heal.  For even those who are in good health, the healing must come in increments!

I often forget that.  My mental energy level is one hundred percent, yet my healing, as any other human, takes a certain amount of time to happen.  Even with a great attitude, or a fit body, HEALING IS A PROCESS IN THE HUMAN BODY.

We are a society of instant gratification.  The human body is a living organization with perimeters that include a certain amount of time to regenerate and heal.

Of course this varies with each person; nonetheless, TIME is a major factor in healing.

My husband reminded me of that this morning.  He heard me let out a little moan (unbeknowns to me at the time) and he said, “Overdoing are we?”

I had to admit it. So now I am resting with pillows under my legs, and laptop on my tummy.  Please take time to heal properly.

A perfect example of getting NEGATIVE results from rushing is when I sprained my ankle years ago.  I had just opened a fitness studio and had no teachers hired at that point.  So merrily I taught two classes of high intensity aerobics, four days a week.  I just iced my ankle and night, and wrapped it during the day.

DUH!

Today, over thirty years later I still pay a price for being so silly.  My ankle swells fairly regularly, and it twists easily into a painful scenario.

PLEASE take your time.  YOU ONLY HAVE ONE PLACE TO LIVE, AND THAT IS YOUR BODY!  Treat it like your most precious item.  If you don’t take time for your healing, all your responsibilities and dreams will fall by the wayside with some perilious results.  YOU ARE WORTH TAKING TIME TO HEAL!

Create a beautiful day and God bless!

 

 

Walking on Eggshells?

Walking on Eggshells-You’ve Probably heard this before:

“The idiom walking on eggshells generally describes a situation in which people must tread lightly around a sensitive topic, or make every effort not to offend a volatile or hypersensitive person. Literally walking on the empty shells of eggs would require exceptional caution and self-control, similar to the feeling of avoiding conflict with an easily disturbed friend, relative or employer. Family members of active alcoholics or ragea-aholics often use this phrase to describe their careful avoidance of conflict with their loved one. The origin of the idiom is a matter of dispute, but the general consensus is that walking on eggshells came from the same place as other cautionary actions, such as walking on thin ice or broken glass. Some sources suggest that it came from an earlier idiom, “walking on eggs.” While walking on eggshells presents enough difficulty for most people, walking on the whole egg without damage would be nearly impossible. Certain politicians who took extraordinarily cautious positions on an issue were said to have the dubious ability to walk on eggs without breaking them.”                     (Excerpts from Wise Geek)

 

So there is the definition.  The way I have always heard it used is when someone is in an abusive relationship and they dodge a bullet, or an angry person, by‘walking on eggshells”.  Treading lightly, so to speak, for fear of a reprisal, whether verbal or physical.  I know many moms who back down from an angry partner for the “sake” of the children, or fear of harm from their own husband or partner.

If you have found yourself cowering, or bending over backwards to take care not to anger a sleeping giant, here is my advice.  GET HELP!  Get it now before it is too late.  If you cannot get help – at least get the hell out of the way!  I know it sounds easier than it is, but if there is that fear within you of “danger”, there should also be the word SURVIVAL come to mind.

This is not a joke, sadly.  Our culture is geared at such a fast pace right now, and the stress levels of those who are in the position of earning money – to survive – is right at the breaking point.

No matter what the media reports, things are not improving for the peasants.  Anyone who is less than he / or she needs, feels the pinch.  Last month our house payment went up eighty dollars, our utility bill was up fifty; food and other goods have steadily been rising over the past three or four years.  All the “jobs” that are reported were the holiday part-time jobs that have no benefits, and only lasted until after the “shopping season” ended.

Pressure all around, with “no vents” like a pressure cooker.  In the final act of that scene, everything blows.  SO STAY ON YOUR TOES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Remember you are the only person who can SAVE YOU!  I pray and have great faith in God, so in that sense, my life is easier than some.  When I pray, I believe the burden is lifted and handed to God, and to show my faith, I find some relaxation in the scenarios.

For those of you who believe – do pray.  Then think about your situation and if there need be changes for your safety, or the safety of your children – begin to organize a withdrawal from danger for your family.

If you do not pray, you still must evaluate the situation you are in currently, and if there are red flags for danger, begin to make an exit plan.  If you BELIEVE with all your heart that counseling or communication can literally help, by all means, initiate it.  You always have the option in the future, if times worsen, to make changes.  Just be sure NOT to place you or your children in a volatile situation.

For those who are unemployed (either short term, or long term), those who have addictions to alcohol or drugs, those who have anger management issues, the “times” are very trying.

It is fine to take these things into consideration if you opt to try to work things out.  HOWEVER, be aware if the communication stops, if there is no attempt to correct change the “danger zone” – it is time to make a change!

God bless you and those you are trying to protect from an impossible situation.  YOU have to evaluate and take steps forward soon.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  DO NOT BE IN DENIAL OR YOU MAY WIND UP A STATISTIC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A PILE OF DIRT VIA A HARDBALL IN THE FACE….

Just think how important you are that you are offered challenges of a lifetime!Does that sound strange?  Maybe so, but I have had my face covered in dirt, and delivered like a hardball slamming into my face with might and a sting.Guess what?  I am still here.For eight months I have been dealing with recovering from a burst compression fracture and major surgery-one that only happened because of the neglect of two physicians, and two physicians and two neurosurgeons.

On top of it, just before this travesty I was supposed to have two individual total hip replacements ( they will only operate on one at a time), as my hips are bone to bone.  Because of the fusion of my back I have been unable to have that done, and I am barely walking around at the moment. I actually called my doctor to get a wheelchair (and wrote her a note) three days ago.  Told her I needed it asap.  Nothing!Just as a perfect finish (I hope) to these challenges, I found two days ago I needed to have a tooth, one of my “chewers” removed.  Had a serious swelling and it was necessary.  Oh drat, I just finished paying fiftenn hundred dollars to have a root canal and a cap on that very tooth!  To have it removed was only a thousand cash, and in return I am minus a tooth and have a very swollen and painful face.Photo 1

This is me with a towel and an ice pack.  You wouldn’t want to see the swelling.

Right now I am laying down to rest.  Writing is a good part of my sanity.  What are the (must be) multiple stress management tricks to keep my wits about me.  There could be a sub-list under the major stress management technique, but basically to manage ANY traumas or scenarios, you must FIRST manage your response!  Life really is in charge of us, but one thing we have control of one hundred percent is our ATTITUDE, and therein, our RESPONSE to life.  WE HAVE A CHOICE.  We always have the choice to make the best of things, or throw in the towel.I am not much at throwing towels – no giving up!  Granted, I am fortunate to believe in God and His being there for me, during the good and the bad times.  I am fortunate enough to NOT blame God, but to realize life is what it is.  We may never know the “why” of things, but we must always realize, we still have one hundred percent control of how to accept and respond to any challenge. I also know I have an edge as I have been teaching stress management for years and really believe in the powers we have been given.  I TRIED BEING MISERABLE!

IT SUCKED, SO I GAVE IT UP!  Literally.

It may take you time to develop the habit of controlling your attitude in response to life, but I guarantee you that if you can change this one habit from a negative attitude, to a positive attitude, YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE IN WAYS YOU NEVER DREAMED –  IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS.Think about it seriously.  It’s not always a piece of cake, but you always have the choice to take that scenario and turn it into something you can at least, handle! CREATE a beautiful life. YOU ARE WORTH IT. I off to do my best at whatever comes next. 

 

 

 

 

 

FAST TIPS

Here’s some pretty up front stress management techniques:

 Stop wallowing in the slop and feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something!  It’s been a rough day.  I presume it’s been a rough day for lots of people.  I would give a million dollars, if I had it, or all that I had, to be where I was last Janurary 4th and not step off the path and fall.  My life is changed forever.

 But combine that mistep with some inept doctors and here it is – a done deal.

I have accepted that.  I am adapting to all that I will never be able to do again, and now that I am six months after the surgery – I have to reappraise my goals and my own destiny.

 

 We all have choices to make.  That first piece of advice was for me too.  Waa waa I have it so rough.  Well, I do, but I also have it so good.  I have a warm bed to sleep in, and there are people that love me.  I am able to pet my dog, drive my car, and sit in the warm sunlight.  My husband accepts my disabilities and that is huge! 

 

 So with this little pep talk I will finish the thoughts of this post and get up and do something. No one can change your life except YOU.  You can be the master of your destiny, at least in response to life.  Choose well as you never know when things will change – and that you can be sure of – change.

 

 

 Second up front piece of advice.  STOP YELLING AND SCREAMING AND ARGUING.  IT IS ANNOYING, IT IS USELESS, AND IT RESOLVES NOTHING.

I find arguments heat up when alcohol is involved, so make a point of NOT fighting when drinking.  That is VERY URGENT.  Alcohol causes violence that in turn cause unforgiveable acts.

 

 It wasn’t the industralization of man that is the ruination of man.  It is the rampid and increasingly acceptable level of alcohol that is consumed by man.Besides, even without alcohol – yelling and screaming and fighting is just the biggest waste of time ever!  We could all die in the next five minutes by some horrific incident.

I am going out smiling!  Don’t waste your time, and don’t diminish someone else by screaming useless things,  you probably don’t mean, in their faces.

 

 

TAKE A TIME OUT.  Most things people fight over are VERY unimportant- many people can’t even remember why they fought in the first place.  Take a time out or walk away.  Don’t open your mouth if it’s not worthy of you! 

 

Tylenol Scare

Please be aware of this.  Especially with children’s Tylenol.  Administer it correctly.  The number one safety protocol is to follow what the label says.Roughly one-hundred and fifty Americans a year die and tens of thousands are hospitalized after overdosing on acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol.  Other over-the-counter pain relievers are included in this warning. “ProPublica reveals that this active ingredient is the country’s leading cause of acute liver failure – and that even a small overdoes can be deadly.” (The Week Magazine)Now put together some exceeding of doses, and the damage alcohol does to the liver.  That is a dangerous balancing act.  Alcohol and Tylenol should not be combined!

Just use common sense and read the labels.  Be particularly aware of the dose given to children.  We have the intellect to use drugs the way they were intended, and not just administer them carelessly.

Have a beautiful weekend and remember the old adage, “Moderation in all things”…..your body, mind and spirit will reap many rewards if you can just keep this in mind.  God bless you all!  Remember the healthier you are, the more manageable ANY STRESS will be!

 

 

Monitor your thoughts carefully

Thoughts become action. Make your thoughts positive – even if it takes a bit of thought! It will also have to become a habit. In the meantime CREATE a beautiful weekend.

Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
Mark Twain

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Japanese proverb

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choose happiness. I really care!

Marsha

For you – Watch a butterfly flutter by!  The smallest things can make us smile.  ALLOW yourself to enjoy the day..

butter 3