Don’t you think it’s difficult sometimes to quantify why you are here on planet earth? I know I’ve found it difficult many times. Perhaps you’ve thought:

“It’s just not worth the trouble.”
“My kids are raised, my life means nothing.”
“My husband and I split up and I will never find my dreams.”
“I am getting old and hurt every day. There is no future for me.”
“I am a looser.”

Well, I call BS and say STOP THE PITY PARTY. I’ve been there!
I’ve been “there” many times – more times than I care to remember. I’ve been on the edge, without hope, without purpose, alone, overwhelmed with life in general.

Guess what? I’m still here! I just flatly decided a long time ago I am stronger than to give in to life of the influences of circumstances…even circumstances I helped create.

I admit my faith has been an abiding factor in my recovery – but just to let you know, I HAVEN’T ALWAYS had my faith to pull me up by the bootstraps. Sometimes I’ve had an “empty cup” and had to remember I am human, and human kind are built for endurance.

So what if you’ve lost everything you ever worked for SO FAR….I’ve done that too! Mama always said, “Material things come and go…” Guess what? THEY DO!

Pinch yourself. It hurts doesn’t it? So stop inflicting unnecessary pain to yourself. It’s difficult enough to rise above circumstance; don’t add to your own challenges.

If you are breathing, if you are thinking, if you are reading and using your hands to type – if you are alive – you still have the chance to find HAPPINESS.

The secret is, it comes from within YOU! As you think, so shall you be. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a path to travel. That path, ultimately, is of your own creation.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are stronger than you ever dreamed. You are worth a life…your life. You are worth gritting your teeth, rolling up your sleeves, and trying again!

If you don’t think I know what I am talking about – share your experience with me privately and I’ll show you I know what I am talking about! I haven’t been through the hell in my life for nothing…pain shared makes your experience easier.

Share it privately with me and I will respond privately to you, with love and support. I promise. I’ve been a personal health consultant (mind, body and spirit) for over
thirty years, and lived at least five different lives! Let me help, no charge, if I can!
The spirit is willing!
————————

Opt for Optimism

Research has shown that the majority of illnesses, including backaches, headaches, and even heart disease, can be caused or influenced by our feelings and our stress levels.

When we experience life changes-positive or negative-our bodies need time to recover.  If we have an optimistic attitude, it can help speed recover and may even keep you healthier than someone with negative attitudes.

By learning to look on the “bright side” you can help counteract the negative effects of stress and improve your overall health.

Look on the Bright Side

The classic definition of an optimist is a person who sees a glass as half full, while the pessimist sees it as half empty.

Optimists choose to feel hopeful about how they see a situation.

Optimists are positive thinkers who practice positive “self-talk”. Optimists tell themselves, “I can do it.  I will do it. ”

Surprisingly, optimism, or positive thinking, can help accomplish a surprising number of personal goals.

How to Become an Optimist

Find a role model.  Find someone who seems to make the best of any given situation.  Find out how that person maintains that attitude and copy the behavior!   Get in the habit of responding in a positive manner.  Chances are that this role model, even during difficult times, will get through the circumstance with fewer negative effects.

Practice positive self-talk.  Repetition is the mother of all learning, and the only way to change the habit of constant negativity, is by training yourself.   Tell yourself positive things for a month.  Make that brief commitment and follow through and it can change your life.  Leave out of your vocabulary negative words such as “can’t, won’t, or don’t”.

Practice positive affirmations.  Affirmations are positive, and motivating statements.  Use short “I am” statements:  “I am calm and will respond with intellect.”  “I am changing to become more positive.”  Say the affirmations out loud several times, and then imagine it happening.  You are in the process of creating new brain cells that are based on your positive thoughts and affirmations.

No one is optimistic all the time.  It just isn’t possible.  We are all human.  But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude.  When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to a happier, healthier body, mind and spirit.

Now take a deep inhalation of oxygen and think, “I am in charge of my attitude and the response to any challenge I may encounter.”

CREATE a wonderful day!

Scientists are proving that “the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of our gray matter” is NOT just an idea posed by those who participate in visualizations and meditations.

Mental practice resulted (as seen in a series of tests) in the reorganization of the brain. The scientists also discovered that mental training had the power to change the physical structure of the brain. How cool is that!

Now we know that scientists concur with those of us who participate in mind training for stress management, such as visualizations and meditations, to be used to enhance our lives and reduce our stress level to one that is manageable and not damaging to the body.

At all ages the brain retains the ability to change its structure and function in response to thought and / or experience.

“As you think, so shall you become”, an old proverb, seems more meaningful than some previously realized. We have such great, and unrecognized powers, to help ourselves heal the mind and body.  We can mentally rehearse upcoming events, and actually change our lives through our thoughts.

When you begin to feel that the stress level is unbearable, begin management by exercising your mind. Use your intake of oxygen to enhance your thoughts and help the process.

An example of “thinking” to help manage stress might go something like this:

“Because I care about myself, I choose to eliminate negative thoughts and expectations from my mind. I monitor my words and actions carefully, make sure that what I say and do is positive and caring.”

“I will work with a better attitude, knowing I can achieve much more if I am less worried.  I will take a breath when I feel overwhelmed, and begin to review my thoughts.”

“I will read literature and books that enhance my life and enrich my mind. I will think myself healthier and my brain will help it happen.”

You have much more ability and resources from within to help manage stress than imaginable.  The crux of this is YOU must begin by using your intellect.  Be patient and expect miracles!

No matter what age you are, good health habits are a huge part of taking care of yourself.  Practicing good habits do not guarantee that you will never get sick, or that you will live longer, but they will improve the way you feel and the quality of your life.  They also build your immunity, which can keep you from “catching” frequent colds and letting illness rule your life.

You only have one body to live in, so let’s review a bit of pertinent information. It’s not as difficult as you think.

Stay active with exercise

Don’t respond with “I hate exercise”.  Exercise does not mean you have to spend your life at the gym.  It should be fun, interchangeable, and something that will trigger excitement instead of dread.

There is a world of wonderful ways to get exercise.  The first one is simply walking.   A recent study showed that by taking a brisk, half-hour walk just six times a month, you cut the risk of early death by forty-four percent!  That’s astounding.

If you just can’t “squeeze” that into your schedule – first of all, shame on you!  You are worth that minimum amount of time to keep your body healthy.  After all, if you aren’t healthy you can’t perform any function optimally.  The world that surrounds you, family, work, friends, peers, will all NOT GET the best of you – so take a breath and read on.

If you still reconcile that you cannot afford that amount of time, do this:  Park further from the store.  On a break walk (even if it’s up and down the back stairs or through the office.)

Take your lunch and find a friend and walk the first fifteen minutes.  Stand in front of the television and walk in place.

Anything you do will help to better your health.  The trick is to do it regularly.  Get in the habit of allowing you that minimal amount of time to help your mind and body.

Your circulation will be better and you will return to your job refreshed.  A ten-minute walk can be relaxing and invigorating too.

You can join a health club.  Take a yoga class, walk with a friend, or play tennis.  Vacuum. That may not be the most fun, but consider it a dance, and sing, and it will be better.  Even gardening is a great exercise.  Body movement and breathing are keys to good health.

Exercise has many benefits.  It reduces STRESS, boredom, depression, and improves sleep.  It improves the skin and muscle tone.  It improves blood circulation, balance and flexibility.  It lowers blood pressure and even reduces the risk for adult-onset diabetes.

So now – get up and shake everything.  Take a breath.  Come

on, it’s you LIFE!  Do something to make it better.  This is easy stuff.  Take another breath and stretch your arms above your head and remember – “I am alive.  I can do whatever I choose!

It’s REALLY my option!”

The only person you are destroying – ultimately – is YOU.

SO DON’T GIVE UP!

If you want to change – do it.

If you want help – ask for it; seek it.

If you are alone – pray.

If you are afraid – think of the worst that can happen.  Accept it – then it’s all up hill from there.

The only devastation is from within.  The only defeat is your acceptance of it.  The only one in charge – IS YOU!

Get off your gluts and begin again.  You want stress management?  That’s  my advice.

You are the captain of your ship.  Sink or carry on man!

I will say what I’ve said in class so many times.  STOP for a minute or two. Take a slow and mindful breath to energize you mind and body. Your exhalation makes room for more healing oxygen.  It is also the time to think, “I am exhaling and pushing self-defeating thoughts out with the carbon dioxide.”

Slow down for 30 seconds and pull yourself together. We have been given a great natural instinct from within, to help us find an answer, or at least find a resolve to what seems to be unbelievable circumstances that surround us.  We just must slow down.

Change the subject. Divert your own attention to something else momentarily. Take another mindful breath!

What is the worst that can happen? If you can fathom handling that, you can handle anything. If you think you can’t, then think again! Life is tough, but we have within our minds, the tools and power to rise above the obstacles.

Stop listening to all the negative things that include the words: I can’t, I won’t, I won’t be able to, I give up, I quit, etc. Never give up.

Just when you think you can’t handle everything – everything will change. Give it a bit of time.

Ninety percent of what we waste our lives worrying about never comes to fruition.  STOP wasting your life on “worry and doubt”

The worry doesn’t do anything except hurt you and all those around you. Instead, handle anything that crosses your path. Never give up or give in!  If I sound like a cheerleader I probably am.  I know you can alleviate so much unnecessary stress by just controlling your thoughts, hence, actions.

Now take a breath and relax! It will all be okay.  If you feel you need help – take the time to seek it out.  There are classes, on line help, counselors, and so much more available.  YOU ARE WORTH it!

It’s easy to get caught up in all the negativity!  The Tip?

DON’T DO IT!  REFUSE!

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Attitude has been described as “the presence of a hypothetical construct that represents an individual’s degree of like or dislike for a specific target.”

It is actually a personal perspective that can be positive or negative.  Negativity is harmful and definitely not in the realm of being optimistic.  You cannot have a negative attitude without feeling your stress increase. Negativity opens the door for failure.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Our attitude also drives the behavior of our body language. This obvious outward show of our mental attitude is a direct result of either positive or negative thoughts.

One wonderful thing about being a human being is that no matter what the circumstance, we always have a choice in how to respond.

The trick is do not REACT – take a breath and feed your intellect so you will make a better choice in your response. You will also find that if YOU take charge of your “attitude” about any situation, you will be empowered.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Life is just too short to waste a moment being a sour ball. We all have problems. I am no exception. If it’s not a financial problem, health problem, family problem, car problem, or work problem, then it may be a neighbor problem, etc. etc. etc. So what is your choice when problems arrive?

You can opt to be miserable.  Or you can remember to practice thinking in positive terms and remembering that life is about change.  Just when you think you can’t take any more, something changes.

Take a breath.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Remember, it’s your life, so don’t let life’s challenges steal  a moment from you. Don’t let life pass you by while you sink in an ocean of stress.

Start now.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Take a breath, and when you exhale, let all the problems fly out your fingertips. Do it again. YOU WILL BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR RESPONSE TO LIFE, if you JUST PRACTICE being in charge!

An Old Russian proverb says that repetition is the mother of all learning.  Five times throughout this article you have been reminded through repetition to: CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT.

Your amazing brain has begun to create new brain cell impressions and the next time a scenario arises that asks for

“attitude”, you will remember how you can take charge of the moment by recalling this simple statement.

CREATE a wonderful day!

Relationship problems can steal your life right out from under you.  The “tradition” in marriage has been to stick it out no matter what happens…suck up the tough times and get counseling; whatever it takes to live up to the words of the vows, “keep the family together”, and retain society’s ideal of marriage.

GET REAL!  There is a point that you must draw the line.  We all know that.  What seems to be a forgotten protocol is that life continues AFTER you draw the line.

How many times have you moved backwards in order to accommodate that very person stepping over the line once again.  What good is a line of demarcation (boundary or limits) if you justify your partner encroaching (intruding on a person’s territory, or a thing considered to be a right) over and over?   Advances like that will gradually cause irreparable damage. This isn’t hypothesis. This is proven fact.

If in our world wars it was acceptable to cross the line of demarcation, ultimately, our military leaders would have recognized and had to accept defeat.

There is a LIMIT to what is acceptable to an individual human’s rights.  What transpires ultimately AFTER the line is crossed many times terrifying.

A young woman was recently killed by her boyfriend; though it was a tragic death that was not intended, but an accident with a tragic outcome, there were signs to be noted.

She was 22 and a successful student at the University of Virginia. He was a lacrosse player.  You may be familiar with the story.

For the loss, there can be no recovery, in this lifetime.  Sadly, there were signs of abuse.  No matter what ANYONE tells you, you will register a “gut level” feeling when things go wrong, over and over, and you innately know, when it’s time to call the game.

The number one indicator is when a person’s social life begins to change.  When there is no witness to the abuse, it is hearsay. It is much easier to abuse when it’s “their word against yours.”  But you know!

Watch these signs as well.  (The use of alcohol in violent cases of abuse has been well documented.)

1. You are spending much less time with family and friends.

2.  The relationship has WILD ups and downs.

3.  You are afraid to miss a phone call from “that” person.

4.  The person you are with continually insults you.  For instance, you order dinner from the person’s favorite restaurant, but instead of thanking you for your thoughtfulness, you are criticized and insulted for your selections.

5.  You are afraid.  Think about it.

6.  You have thought:  “I hate him (or her).”  “I hate my life.”

“I wish we weren’t together.”

THESE ARE JUST A FEW SIGNS that should kick you in the ass!

Don’t be a fool.   Change your life or you may become a statistic!

What does this have to do with stress management?  EVERYTHING, and you know it…picture your life, as you dreamed it… not perfect, but at least peaceful, relatively happy, and SAFE.

BE SAFE.  Do something before escalation to devastation.

Common terms used to describe the mental condition of those of us who must concentrate, meet deadlines, provide a service for people, and adjust to the demands of the work world and family life include “stress”, “burnout”, and usually “exhaustion”.

The drive for efficiency and increasing costs of providing for basic life functions, add to the pressures, as does the stress simply caused by change.

We all need help in “time management, as it is one remedy that does enable people to cope.  If you want to head towards a more healthful workday, incorporate five-minute vacations when you can.

Those who give of themselves to others, whether at work or at home, must have time for replenishing vital forces from within themselves.

If we are expected to produce ideas, designs, or detailed work, we need a renewal of our intellect and creativity.  Paper pushers, foremen, even harassed mothers, must make time capsules for coping ability and restoration during the day.

The United States Department of Labor website offers laws for specific states regarding breaks and lunch breaks.  Each state differs.

In California the law states that a ten-minute rest period is required for each four hours worked.  After five hours (if you work at least eight hours) you are to be given one-half hour for lunch.

Thankfully, many employers know the value of empowering breaks to regenerate, but even during a brief five-minute respite YOU can really use the time to relax completely.

For just five minutes, mentally (and, if possible, physically) remove yourself from the hurry of work and the demands of others. Use this time to relax completely.  Even if the time is a restroom break, rest and regenerate in whatever room you can!

Use your oxygen to relax and regenerate your body. That can be done anywhere and at any time!  Breathe now, inhaling slowly, and exhaling slowly.  Continue while reading further.

The physiology, or functioning of your organs, will respond to this plug of oxygen by resuming normal functioning, as opposed to being riddled with stress.

If you have the opportunity to get up and move around, do so.  Stretch and take a breath, as you want to invigorate your circulation.  If you are stationery, you can still regenerate.

Breathe and consciously visualize all your muscles going limp for a moment.  Relax, and breathe into your muscles.  Now loosen up by rolling your shoulders forward and then backward.  Drop your head from side to side slowly.  Scrunch fingers together and stretch them out.  Wiggle your toes and rotate your ankles.  This is a GREAT little vacation!

If you are away from the “source” of your stress for a brief time, think about something lovely; dwell on the good that is around you.  Look at a tree or a living plant; consider the diffusion of color and the design and symmetry

Take a five-minute walk outdoors if possible.  Read something funny or think of something to tickle your sense of humor.  Laugh (it’s healing).

Watch others and remember happiness is a CHOICE – no matter what!

Even one minute to breathe and move can give mental strength and invigorate the mind.  Such little “vacations” give a change of pace, needed oxygen, relief from concentration, and stimulate the circulation.

Begin today to incorporate these small “breaks” and you will find a difference in your management of stress right away.  I promise!

Our human body is truly magical.  In many instances,  it can be self-healing, if we only take the time to learn some basic facts.

For instance, did you know that a complex part of our brain called the autonomic nervous system prepares our body when stress enters a scenario?

You’ve probably heard of it.  It’s called the “fight or flight” response.  You’ve probably experienced it.  Most humans have experienced it and some, people many times.

Here is the magical part.  Without you even realizing it your body prepares for danger by slowing digestion so that blood may be directed to the muscles and the brain.  In the face of potential danger it is more important to be alert and strong than for food to digest.  It’s automatic!

Your breathing gets faster to supply more oxygen for the muscles.  The heart speeds up; blood pressure soars and forces blood to part of the body that needs it.  (Remember your heart beginning to pound faster when you are stressed?)

Perspiration increases to cool the body.  This allows you to burn more energy.  Muscles tense and prepare for action.  All this is done automatically!

Chemicals are released to make your blood clot more rapidly.  If you are injured this clotting can reduce blood loss.  Sugars and fats pour into the blood to provide fuel for quick energy.

This “body magic” is done automatically for you when stress enters, when you are injured, or fearful.  The reaction can be invaluable for survival in critical situations.

The problem that can occur with this automatic magic is that if it happens too often, it can take a serious toll on your body, mind, and your spirit!  You don’t want to “wear out” your body before it’s time!

This is one of the important reasons to learn to recognize and manage stress.  It will put you in charge of your own life, and you will learn other methods to address the majority of stressors.

BEGIN NOW by taking in a deep inhalation through the nose. Visualize it traveling to your brain and through your body.   Now exhale through the mouth slowly. When you inhale remember that when you keep breathing in a stressful situation, you are empowering yourself.  You will stay more relaxed, think optimally, and give yourself a chance to respond instead of reacting to a circumstance. You will keep the body from automatically going into “fight or flight” unnecessarily.

Take another mindful breath.  Hold it a few seconds, and now exhale.  When you exhale remember it is a mind housekeeping tactic to visualize all the negativity flying from your mouth into oblivion (also clearing the carbon dioxide to make room for more oxygen.)

You can learn through, exercising your mind, to slow your breathing, calm your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and relax those muscles, which in turn will allow you to make the best choices possible for the scenario you face.

Please inhale slowly and deeply.  Hold it a few more seconds, and now exhale through the mouth.  Use this secret weapon whenever needed. It’s readily available, the only cost is your thought process, and it WORKS beautifully!

No matter what the circumstance, you always have a choice how to respond.  Use your oxygen before speaking and it will enable you to respond intellectually instead of simply emotionally.  A fine mix of the two will offer any scenario a better result.

Create a wonderful day.