Don’t you think it’s difficult sometimes to quantify why you are here on planet earth? I know I’ve found it difficult many times. Perhaps you’ve thought:

“It’s just not worth the trouble.”
“My kids are raised, my life means nothing.”
“My husband and I split up and I will never find my dreams.”
“I am getting old and hurt every day. There is no future for me.”
“I am a looser.”

Well, I call BS and say STOP THE PITY PARTY. I’ve been there!
I’ve been “there” many times – more times than I care to remember. I’ve been on the edge, without hope, without purpose, alone, overwhelmed with life in general.

Guess what? I’m still here! I just flatly decided a long time ago I am stronger than to give in to life of the influences of circumstances…even circumstances I helped create.

I admit my faith has been an abiding factor in my recovery – but just to let you know, I HAVEN’T ALWAYS had my faith to pull me up by the bootstraps. Sometimes I’ve had an “empty cup” and had to remember I am human, and human kind are built for endurance.

So what if you’ve lost everything you ever worked for SO FAR….I’ve done that too! Mama always said, “Material things come and go…” Guess what? THEY DO!

Pinch yourself. It hurts doesn’t it? So stop inflicting unnecessary pain to yourself. It’s difficult enough to rise above circumstance; don’t add to your own challenges.

If you are breathing, if you are thinking, if you are reading and using your hands to type – if you are alive – you still have the chance to find HAPPINESS.

The secret is, it comes from within YOU! As you think, so shall you be. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a path to travel. That path, ultimately, is of your own creation.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are stronger than you ever dreamed. You are worth a life…your life. You are worth gritting your teeth, rolling up your sleeves, and trying again!

If you don’t think I know what I am talking about – share your experience with me privately and I’ll show you I know what I am talking about! I haven’t been through the hell in my life for nothing…pain shared makes your experience easier.

Share it privately with me and I will respond privately to you, with love and support. I promise. I’ve been a personal health consultant (mind, body and spirit) for over
thirty years, and lived at least five different lives! Let me help, no charge, if I can!
The spirit is willing!
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BUT BURNOUT CAN BE AVOIDED.

As with most behaviors, when you learn how to recognize the problem, the causes and symptoms, and ways you can change your environment to reduce stressful situations, you will find you can “manage stress” much more effectively, and probably not burnout at all!

Burnout most often occurs in people who feel that they are overworked and unappreciated.  They become disappointed and sometimes very cynical.  They may also feel guilty and ashamed, and may secretly blame themselves.

Signs a burnout can be near include exhaustion (both mental and physical); hopelessness and helplessness; low self-esteem and low spirit, and perhaps more frequent illness.

Burnout often occurs in professionals that “help”, such as nursing or teaching.  But anyone who feels very pressured, or even bored from work can suffer from burnout.

The first step towards recovery from any stress related concern is to define the problem.  Is the situation itself stressful?  Is the problem just some small matter that triggers these feelings?  Is there something about your situation you can change?

Nurses as an example again, particularly those who care for terminally ill patients, can be prime candidates for burnout.  However, by accepting that the scenario itself is stressful, they can reduce feelings of guilt and resentment.

Make Changes

Changes in both you and your environment can help prevent burnout.  You must let your emotional response take a step back, and let your intellect analyze the situation.  You may have more ability to change your environment than you think. Try to think in positive terms to follow with positive actions.

If a lack of appreciation on the job is damaging your morale, take charge.  Your environment will change as you develop skills to communicate and voice a calm and intelligent opinion about matters to either superiors or your peers. Share your feelings and listen to others.  This is simple and yet can have awe-inspiring results.

When you ignore your needs (both physical and mental) during a period of constant or severe distress, burnout is surely going to be a result.  You must take time to recover and heal from burnout if it strikes.  It can ignite a series of other physical ailments if ignored.

Use and develop skills such as risk-taking, reaching out to friends and family, and talking with others in similar circumstances.

Ask someone your respect to look at your situation and suggest solutions.  Use this change to make burnout a first step toward greater satisfaction.

Above all, before any response, use your oxygen to calm and regenerate you.  Always breathing in slowly, visualize it helping your intellect and your muscles relax.  Then exhale slowly, visualizing all the negativity flying out the fingertips, and making way for positive responses.

Why not practice right now with a few thoughtful breaths.  It will help you right away!  Believe it.  Scientists are now proving “the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of gray matter.”  It certainly can’t hurt!

Yes it can!

Everyone knows that laughter feels good.  Laughter can make any situation a little more bearable, but did you know it could actually make you healthier?

Children laugh about 400 times a day.  Adults only laugh about 15 times a day, and that’s not the majority of adults.

Many of us get so wrapped up in the serious side of our jobs, whether it be in an office, working outside, or parenting.  The trouble with that is we simply aren’t laughing enough.  When we get so bogged down and serious, our stress levels spiral out of control.  Oftentimes we forget there is really still a lighter side to life.

How often do you let yourself laugh?  How often to you chuckle or really laugh until it hurts?  Not often enough I’d bet!

Laughter is really an all-around health booster.  According to “Science of Laughter” on the Discovery Health Web site, when we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase.

Not only that, but Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein, T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells

(which make disease -fighting antibodies) increase too!

Blood pressure lowers with laughter, and you breathe more when laughing, thereby increasing oxygen in the blood.  That also encourages healing.

Be aware though, what “some people” call humor is not beneficial.  When jokes and laughter turn into jabs towards others, and yourself, you are no longer reaping the benefit of your laughter, and are in fact increasing pain and putting distance between yourself and others.

Healthy humor is a whole body experience comprised of three key components:

1.  Laughter, the reflexive and contagious physical experience.

2.  Wit, the cognitive experience.

3.  Amusement (or mirth), the feel good emotional experience enhanced when shared with others.

When these three elements are part of your “laughter” experience, you can be absolutely sure your body is benefiting!

Laughter really does lower blood pressure.  Many tests have shown that those who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.

Laughter protects our hearts.  Laughter can help prevent heart disease.

The “humor factor” actually changes our biochemical state, similar to what the “flight or fight” syndrome does – only laughter changes are good.  It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies.  It makes us more attentive, and increases the heart rate and pulse.

Laughter is a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.  It actually gives us a good workout.  It massages abdominal organs, tones the intestinal functioning, and strengthens muscles that hold abdominal organs in place.  A hearty laugh can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or an exercise bike.

Humor does improve brain function, which in turn helps relieve stress.  It stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance our intellect and learning.  It eases psychological stress and allows people to retain more information.

When we laugh our ability to connect with others improves.   Humor helps us to replace negative emotions with good feelings.

When humor enters it changes our behavior.  We talk more, make more direct eyes contact with others, our energy increases, and simply put, it makes us feel better!

Look for everyday humor.  There is humor to be found!  There are things constantly around us that can incite humor if we let them.  Honestly, you can find silly things happening around you every day.

Look at children.  They can find humor in anything! Surround yourself with positive people.  Take a humor break and pick up a book of jokes to read.  When you start to feel pressured, pick the book up and read a few jokes.

I remember a time years ago that I went to the beach with friends.  Trying to impress the guys, I attached a long ponytail to my own hair.  I looked hot!

When asked to play volleyball I said, “Of course.”  I had a hundred pins holding the darn thing in.  We played for a few minutes and then my ponytail fell off!

Everyone looked shocked and I simply said “Time out”, and I set it by the sidelines and kept playing.  No one laughed or mentioned it, and the game continued.  I played hard and our team won.

When over, I put the hairpiece in my purse and my friend and I went back to the house.  Once the door was closed we burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and laughed until our sides hurt.  I’m still smiling.

Rather than suffer humiliation or embarrassment, I chose to ignore the stress, and just keep going.  It was the best thing I possibly could have done.

Remember, this is your life!  Don’t forget to have fun.  Enjoy your life.  Take a breath and take heart.  It will work out easier if you remember to laugh!

Smile now.  The good times are closer than you think.

You can see the worry by the deep creases in their brows.  You can hear it in the voice of a mother who yells at her child, not to be mean, but because she is tired, and is feeling pressure mounting and tension building.

Notice the disgruntled worker who looses it and flies into a violent rage. His stress is revealed through the explosion manifested from the implosion that took an outward reaction to stress.  They too are on the verge of exhaustion, and could be creating high blood pressure and a potential heart attack!

Don’t say it doesn’t matter how other people feel, because the truth is, it does.  Where there is stress there is disharmony, discomfort, and danger lurking in every corner.

You can be a key factor in changing things if you begin with you!

So how do we work out of these scenarios?  We learn to REALLY manage stress, and REALLY relax!  I don’t mean the kind of relaxation that is poured into a glass, or the kind that you feel when you smoke a cigarette or have a food binge session.  Those things are NOT really relaxing!  Trust me.

Sit back a bit and straighten up and take a nice slow breath in through the nose. Think about it moving throughout your head, giving your brain optimal oxygen.  Then exhale slowly.

With just that simple exercise, you have honestly improved your mind, your energy, and relaxed yourself at the same time.  Does this sound too good to be true? Not even!  It is the physiology of the human body to react in those ways without you even knowing.  But you will if you practice.

Remember the axiom, a Latin proverb, “repetition is the mother of all learning”.  We encourage our children to practice whatever task they are trying to accomplish, so we need to keep that in mind when it comes to ourselves.

You will only your best self if you treat yourself as you would a friend!

With each practice of just this breathing, you are creating new brain cells, and enhancing your life.  Your blood pressure will drop, and your muscles and ligaments and tendons will stay relaxed and flexible.

Do it once an hour.  Are you worth it?  Are you worth taking twenty to thirty seconds every hour to manage your stress and improve your life?  I think you are!

It is so helpful to learn how to lengthen, relax, and decompress your neck and relax your shoulders.  As you become familiar with your own body, you will find there are simple treatments you can manage, to begin to do this.

Because of the structure of our chairs, the positions we sit in, the kind of pillow we use, the weight of our own heads, the purses and backpacks we care, and the stress we maintain, our necks compress little by little. This can cause neck aches, headaches, and your shoulders to further tighten up and stress to begin to control your body.

Here are simple exercises to prepare you for keeping your shoulders down and your neck relaxed.  The primary exercise will always initially begin with exercising your mind.  Take in a needed breath of oxygen.  Stress and pain cause us to hold our breaths.  Slowly exhale and use your mind to visualize the carbon dioxide leaving and therein making room for more oxygen.  Do this several times mindfully.

Now, hold an object weighing one or two pounds in each hand, letting the weight of the objects pull shoulder blades down. Make sure that you keep the breastbone lifting up so that the tops of the shoulders don’t pull down and forward, collapsing the chest.

Set the objects down and see if you can find the muscles you need to pull your shoulder blades down just as the weights did.

These muscles are called the lower trapeziums muscles. They attach to the vertebrae of the middle back, and insert on the inner border of the shoulder blades. They are antagonist muscles to the upper trapeziums muscles.

These muscles are very important posture muscles, and help support the spine in the middle back. When the lower traps are too weak to counteract the pull of the stronger and tighter upper traps, the scapulae will tend to ride up, compressing your neck.

Remember to use your oxygen.  Roll your shoulders simultaneously in circles moving forward.  Do this several times.  Reverse the circles to move towards the back.

Press your shoulders up – then push them down.  Think – and lift your head up from your shoulders where it’s been pressing downward, bend it towards your left shoulder, then lift again and bend towards the right.

Remember, as you decompress, you will allow vital oxygen to move through the areas with ease.  Think of a garden hose that is crimped and how the water doesn’t flow freely.  It works the same with your oxygen.

Take a few breaths. When you begin to feel discomfort again during stressful times, remember to use these simple techniques.  You are in charge of how you feel, and if it’s not good, you are the only one who can change that!

Remember, too, groups are available who can help you discover your stress level through testing, and many organizations have been created specifically to help you through hard times.

Meditation and yoga are two ways to help you learn to manage your stress.

It’s your body, and the only place you have to live!  Take care of it and have a wonderful day and a great weekend.

Once in a while it really is okay to cry.  Even if you are a guy sometimes it may be one of the only ways you find to release stress from within.

We often hide anxiety, concerns about finances, thoughts of injustice, resentments, or feelings of inadequacy.  We go on and on with these feelings, and others, building up inside of us.

This website will always honestly face the same challenging scenarios that face us all at one time or another.  Our resolve will be carried out together, realistically.

This morning I realized that I had allowed some emotions to be pent up inside of me.  I really didn’t know it consciously, but when this particular person was accusing and negative towards me, wrongfully, I felt, I went to a personal space and burst into tears.

If you’ve ever cried like a child, you can visualize my mix of flowing tears and sobbing sounds.  It was as if the dam inside had burst and came roaring out of me.

I allowed myself to cry until the tears stopped and I was left only with that sighing that can’t be helped after crying hard.  It felt good to release all those thoughts that were pent up inside about this particular person.  I felt somehow cleansed of the hurt, and I know for sure my eyes got a good cleansing.

With that release of stress out of the way, I was able to modify intrusive thoughts that were based strictly on emotion, but without that fine mix of intellect we need to face our challenges.

I began to breathe calmly and mindfully, as we can do right now.  Inhale through the nose and visualize your mind and body calming because it is receiving excellent oxygen.

Exhale through the mouth visualize this to be the “house-cleaning” of negativity and wasted worry.  Repeat the inhalation slowly, as I too am doing, and then exhale again slowly.

Just a few mindful breaths throughout the day can be one of the simplest and most important techniques in managing stress.

Allow you to bawl loudly or even just weep quietly once in a while.  There is no shame in it, and it can be a very healthy release of pent up emotions.

I feel really ready to tackle the day’s challenges now, and hope you do too!

You Can Deal with Them!

Everyone is irritable or indecisive at times.  But some people are so difficult that they make others’ lives and work a strain.  You know, you’ve walked into your workplace and seen the stress mounting minute by minute.

Dealing with difficult people is easier when you learn to recognize common personality types.  Then it is possible to develop coping skills for dealing with each without trying to change them!

Prior to any confrontation or blow-up, the first defense against this kind of person is for YOU to slow down and do some thoughtful breathing.  Remember your oxygen will regenerate and relax you simultaneously.

There are seven behavior types with whom most people have difficulty.

1.  Bullies.  These are hostile and angry, and throw tantrums to get their way.

2.  Silent personalities.  They don’t say much.  You can yell at them, talk to them, or beg them to talk and you won’t be able to get more than a “yes” or “no” in response.

3.  Complainers.  These people gripe about everything they don’t like, but rarely do they make a move to change the situation.

4.  Very nice people seem to agree with you, but won’t do what they say they will.

5.  Negative responders.  They say no to every new idea and are positive nothing will work.

6.  Know it all.  They always “know better”, are condescending and truly full of themselves.

7.  Procrastinators.  These folks put things off until someone else takes over, or until the decision is made because of delay.

All of these behaviors in people can be very annoying, upsetting and stressful.  They keep everyone except the difficult person off balance.  This can be true even though they may not be trying to control others.

Coping balances the power between people.  It helps everyone get things done without stalling at the roadblocks difficult people set up.

The next time someone practices difficult behaviors around you, try these simple techniques:

For bullies, stand up for yourself.  Use phrases like “I believe” or “I feel”.  Don’t try to fight them.  Instead make your point firmly.

For silent types, ask a question that must be answered by more than a “yes” or “no”.  If you get no response, let this type know your plans.

Speak directly to complainers and let them know you’ve heard their concern.  Then directly ask, “What is it you want?”

Those very nice people have a strong need to be liked; show them that you do.  Then dig to find out what’s really happening.

Don’t argue with those negative responders.  Instead, suggest what won’t work before they do.

When face to face with the know-it-all types, have all the facts before you before you meet.  Raise possible problems, and be ready to follow through.

Listen to the “stallers”. Find out what the real reason for the delay is.  Help them, and ask them for help.

You can’t always avoid difficult people, but learning to cope with them is well worth the effort.  You’ll get more done and be less frustrated.  Your stress level will diminish to an acceptable level, and your ability to handle it will astound you!

Take a breath and have a wonderful day!

Does this describe you? Your shoulders are tense your back hurts.  You feel grouchy and can’t quite put your finger on why you feel like —–.  Your wife (girlfriend, children or roommate) looks at you like you are a monster!  WHAT CAN YOU DO?

YOU CAN HELP RELIEVE BOTH THE PHYSICAL AND EMOTIONAL TENSION THAT OFTEN ACCOMPANIES STRESSFUL SITUATIONS!

Relax your body and relax your Emotions

The next time you feel the effects of stress too much, when you are overwhelmed, try some of the following ways to help you relax

1.  Deep breathing is your number one defense against unmanageable stress.  You can sit, lie down, or stand to do this.

Close your eyes and breathe in slowly for a count of 5-10 seconds. By closing your eyes you will give them a rest too. Take ten of these super-relaxers any time you feel tense.

2.  Stretch.  Practice simple stretches that also be done in various positions.  Gently roll your head in a half circle from side to side with your head pressing towards your chest.  Stretch your arms into the air and stretch you fingers too.  Point your toes away from your body, and then flex them towards you.  Stretching will allow the blood circulation to those parts of the body that have been “crunched” by poor posture or sitting at a desk.

3.  Any kind of exercise is wonderful to help reduce stress.  Make it fun.  A walk, hiking, bowling, running, or playing a game of badminton or golf are good examples of fun exercise.

4.  Laugh!  Laughter is healing and a great way to relax.  Go to a comedy club, rent a funny movie, or give that funny friend of yours a call.   It’s impossible to really laugh and be tense.

5.  Read.  A good book can take you on a great escape.  Read a comedy or a tearjerker and it will help release pent-up emotions.

6.  Take a bath.  Spend at least 30 minutes soaking in a hot bubble bath.  Prior to slipping into the tub, light a few candles and play some very relaxing music.

7.  Eat well.  Try to eat a well-balanced diet, as it will help your body to perform, and keep your mind functioning optimally.

8.  Do something you love to do.  If you like to go to the beach, go.

Gardening, kayaking, seeing friends, playing with a puppy, these are all wonderful ways to relax your emotions.

9.  Talk.  Take time to talk with a friend or relative.  Try to express feelings that you may have been holding inside.  Listen to your partner.  Try to have this conversation while walking in a quiet park or neighborhood.

10.  Get a massage.  A massage is a wonderful way to get rid of physical tension.  30 minutes to an hour will work wonders.  Do not be shy about your body.  Professional masseuses have seen body types of all kinds, and they are there to help. Request specific areas of tension, such as the neck or lower back.

Keep in mind these are just a few of the many stress reducers you can try.  Alcohol and drugs are a “temporary” fix and will take you down ultimately, and even cause depression!  Do yourself a favor and begin now.

Close your eyes.  Breathe in deeply and slowly exhale.  You are the only one who can help you, so get to it and create a wonderful day!

I will say what I’ve said in class so many times.  STOP for a minute or two. Take a slow and mindful breath to energize you mind and body. Your exhalation makes room for more healing oxygen.  It is also the time to think, “I am exhaling and pushing self-defeating thoughts out with the carbon dioxide.”

Slow down for 30 seconds and pull yourself together. We have been given a great natural instinct from within, to help us find an answer, or at least find a resolve to what seems to be unbelievable circumstances that surround us.  We just must slow down.

Change the subject. Divert your own attention to something else momentarily. Take another mindful breath!

What is the worst that can happen? If you can fathom handling that, you can handle anything. If you think you can’t, then think again! Life is tough, but we have within our minds, the tools and power to rise above the obstacles.

Stop listening to all the negative things that include the words: I can’t, I won’t, I won’t be able to, I give up, I quit, etc. Never give up.

Just when you think you can’t handle everything – everything will change. Give it a bit of time.

Ninety percent of what we waste our lives worrying about never comes to fruition.  STOP wasting your life on “worry and doubt”

The worry doesn’t do anything except hurt you and all those around you. Instead, handle anything that crosses your path. Never give up or give in!  If I sound like a cheerleader I probably am.  I know you can alleviate so much unnecessary stress by just controlling your thoughts, hence, actions.

Now take a breath and relax! It will all be okay.  If you feel you need help – take the time to seek it out.  There are classes, on line help, counselors, and so much more available.  YOU ARE WORTH it!

Common terms used to describe the mental condition of those of us who must concentrate, meet deadlines, provide a service for people, and adjust to the demands of the work world and family life include “stress”, “burnout”, and usually “exhaustion”.

The drive for efficiency and increasing costs of providing for basic life functions, add to the pressures, as does the stress simply caused by change.

We all need help in “time management, as it is one remedy that does enable people to cope.  If you want to head towards a more healthful workday, incorporate five-minute vacations when you can.

Those who give of themselves to others, whether at work or at home, must have time for replenishing vital forces from within themselves.

If we are expected to produce ideas, designs, or detailed work, we need a renewal of our intellect and creativity.  Paper pushers, foremen, even harassed mothers, must make time capsules for coping ability and restoration during the day.

The United States Department of Labor website offers laws for specific states regarding breaks and lunch breaks.  Each state differs.

In California the law states that a ten-minute rest period is required for each four hours worked.  After five hours (if you work at least eight hours) you are to be given one-half hour for lunch.

Thankfully, many employers know the value of empowering breaks to regenerate, but even during a brief five-minute respite YOU can really use the time to relax completely.

For just five minutes, mentally (and, if possible, physically) remove yourself from the hurry of work and the demands of others. Use this time to relax completely.  Even if the time is a restroom break, rest and regenerate in whatever room you can!

Use your oxygen to relax and regenerate your body. That can be done anywhere and at any time!  Breathe now, inhaling slowly, and exhaling slowly.  Continue while reading further.

The physiology, or functioning of your organs, will respond to this plug of oxygen by resuming normal functioning, as opposed to being riddled with stress.

If you have the opportunity to get up and move around, do so.  Stretch and take a breath, as you want to invigorate your circulation.  If you are stationery, you can still regenerate.

Breathe and consciously visualize all your muscles going limp for a moment.  Relax, and breathe into your muscles.  Now loosen up by rolling your shoulders forward and then backward.  Drop your head from side to side slowly.  Scrunch fingers together and stretch them out.  Wiggle your toes and rotate your ankles.  This is a GREAT little vacation!

If you are away from the “source” of your stress for a brief time, think about something lovely; dwell on the good that is around you.  Look at a tree or a living plant; consider the diffusion of color and the design and symmetry

Take a five-minute walk outdoors if possible.  Read something funny or think of something to tickle your sense of humor.  Laugh (it’s healing).

Watch others and remember happiness is a CHOICE – no matter what!

Even one minute to breathe and move can give mental strength and invigorate the mind.  Such little “vacations” give a change of pace, needed oxygen, relief from concentration, and stimulate the circulation.

Begin today to incorporate these small “breaks” and you will find a difference in your management of stress right away.  I promise!