STRESSED?

Posted on June 9, 2010 by Marsha

Are you feeling stressed out?  You can’t imagine it, but stress show on your face!  You don’t want to look like this at work, do you?

Think outside the box! This phrase often refers to novel, creative and smart thinking.

“According to consultants of the 1970s and 1980s tried to make their prospective clients feel inferior by presenting them with the puzzle. The challenge is to connect the dots by drawing four straight, continuous lines that pass through each of the nine dots, and never lifting the pencil from the paper. The puzzle is easily solved but only if you draw the lines outside the confines of the square area defined by the nine dots themselves. Thus, the phrase “thinking outside the box” was born. ”

You’ve gone far enough to look up “stress management” and read this post thus far, now think outside the box and begin to change your life!

Granted for some individuals out of control stress management requires medical help, perhaps anti-depressants, counseling, yoga classes, or general therapy; stress management help from a source that can be your motivator and guide you.  That is fine.  Help is out there!

YOU, however, may be one of the self-motivated individuals who are able to make life changes with just a bit of knowledge and a burning desire to have less stress in your life.  There are plenty of you out there – just too many of you, know you need it, but when it comes down to practice, says:  “I just don’t have time.”

If you IGNORE your stress now it will accelerate with fervor, and sooner or later plow you down like an innocent bystander.  Take action now and save mental and physical woes that will come without you doing anything about managing your stress.

Here are a few simple thoughts to mull over to help get you started.

When you adopt a positive outlook you create a shift in your outlook.  Instead of seeing a set of problems before you, see opportunities and challenges.  Instead of feeling hopeless about any stressful scenario, feel hopeful.  By focusing on the things that do work well, you are inviting more of the same.

Your brain is adaptable.  “Scientists use the term ‘plasticity’ to describe the brain’s ability to adapt.  It’s a simple idea with big implications.  If some brain cells are lost through normal aging, others can often pick up the slack.  Existing connections may be fine-tuned.  The remaining cells also may grow new dendrites-branches that receive messages from other cells.

“The upshot:  Specific areas of your brain may actually grow as a result of particular experiences.  Certain areas may function more efficiently, too.”       (excerpt from Healthy Living)

What this means to you is that you can use almost any stressful experience to grow new brain cells and refine your brain.  The trick is to adapt that positive train of thought and made the problems challenges instead of dreaded problems.

This power is all kick started from within you and if you are tired of the way things are, pull it together and CHANGE YOUR LIFE!

Five Easy ways to get started

1.  Practice mindful breathing.  Not familiar?  Simply put: breathe in through the nose, and exhale through the mouth.

Every time you feel stressors getting the best of you – slow down and breathe.  (For more details on this refer to previous posts – with detailed information)

2.  If you think ANY negative words or feelings, replace them with two positive thoughts.

Example:

I can’t  =  I will,  Ican

I’m miserable = I’m happy, I’m  grateful

no = yes, will do

I’m fearful = I’m brave, I’m empowered

things will never change = this too shall pass, change is a guarantee

Teach your changing brain to respond to life experiences with smart thoughts that blossom into changes for the better.

3.  Don’t take everything so seriously.  The “party” was going before you arrived, and will be here after you leave.  Allow you to have some fun. Prioritize what is REALLY most important.

4. Smile more often.  It doesn’t matter if others do or not.  Smiling actually makes you feel better.  Just do it.  If you smile at someone and they scowl or ignore you then just remember they must be more unhappy than you.  Send them a blessing.You will feel better than if you allowed them to take your happiness away.

5.  Know that no matter how you want to control things – most things are simply out of our control.  The only thing you really have control over is your response to life!  Things usually work out, and sometimes better than you expected initially.

CREATE  a wonderful day and you will change your life and the lives of those in your world.  Pray (and / or meditation) never hurts!

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Is your drinking worrying you? Do you drink secretly?

Posted on June 7, 2010 by Marsha

The facts:  First take a few nice slow breaths and exhale fully.  This will sharpen your intellect and help relax you for this reading.

If you have been stressing lately about the amount of alcohol you are consuming, or if you find yourself drinking when no one else knows, you had better start right away to make some BIG changes or you are HEADED DIRECTLY IN THE PATH OF A FREIGHT TRAIN!  This is not a joke.

Even if you think you are in control and just have a drink or two when no one is around – YOU’VE ALREADY GOT A PROBLEM.  If you have the “need” for a drink this warning is as serious as stopping at a red light in major city traffic.  You are headed the wrong way on a one-way street.

You can lie to yourself, justify your drinking, or just say it’s no one’s business – but this writer speaks from personal experience on both sides of the fence….the drinker, and the one who suffered the effects of living with a drinker.  This is serious business. It cannot be stressed enough. If you continue your stress level will increase.

If you think having a drink takes the edge off for a while, you are kidding yourself.  It’s like any drug only more insidious.

Ultimately you’ll need more to get the same feeling.  This drug causes much more damage than others because it is legal and so readily available.

Ever have a blackout?  Ever gotten angry when drinking?  Have you ever said or done something you wish you hadn’t?  Ever thought about what it costs to continue the habit?  Have you lost your family and / or the respect and love of friends?  Ever hidden a bottle or lied about your drinking?

Most people with a problem (possibly unrecognized, as yet) have experienced at least one or two of these scenarios.

No matter what the scenario – married, divorced, children, partnering with someone, or alone – overindulgence of alcohol can not only RUIN your life and the lives – it is a spirit, intellect, and health killer!

The problem is that alcohol has been advertised to be “socially acceptable”, a way to take the “edge off”, and a way to find your “confidence”, some profess true feelings come out, or that it is one of the best legal ways to party hearty.

DON’T FORGET WHO IS ADVERTISING:  big business, politicians who have there hands out, and people who are in the middle of the struggle and don’t want to drink alone.

Those are NOT very good recommendations!  If you are a parent and you love your children SEEK HELP NOW.  There is no shame in it.  From grade school to the elderly, America is fighting the battle with alcohol.  It takes courage to make this move, but you won’t loose everything ultimately, if you do something now!

If you don’t care about yourself enough, yet, think what you are possibly doing to someone else because of your drinking.

Alcohol stress for the NON-DRINKERS

This is a true story about a little girl who deals with the effects of alcohol EVERY DAY of her young life.

This is what a child should be worrying about (boy or girl) -  “Is there enough bread to feed all the geese?”

————————————-

McKenna was nine years old the day I met her.  I rounded the corner while taking my energetic puppy for a promised walk.  I walked a few yards and noticed a little girl across the street on her bike.  Her outfit was pink and her hair red. Not the kind of red that reminds you of a fire truck.  It was a soft red, almost  light pink.  It was cut in a cute bouncy style.

I introduced her to my dog so they could become friends.  She was “sparkly”.  Funny, that’s the only word that comes to mind.

She has dreams.  She sings.  I asked if she was good and she was modest and said “Some people think I’m good when they hear me.”  I asked if she thought she was good and said it wouldn’t be conceited to tell me.  She told me she thought she was good – but with purity and no diva attitude.

She asked if she could sing for me and I said yes.  When she started she was a little nervous, but she got more relaxed and belted out a very nice rendition of the song she was singing.

She was actually very good and I told her I enjoyed her singing.

Then out of a clear blue sky she told me this:

“My dad’s an alcoholic.  I know he loves me, but alcohol took my dad away.  I’ve known it since I was five.  He never keeps his promises to us and my mom warned me to let me know if he crushed my heart some time along the way.”

My heartbeat quickened.  I knew if I allowed the tears in my eyes to express themselves, it wouldn’t be right, or helpful for McKenna, this beautiful nine year old.  I could feel her genuine pain.

She was however, mature beyond her years and ready to understand and forgive.  I explained some things about addiction and she listened hard.

She rode her bike next to us all the way to her boundry.  I turned around and backtracked because she was so hungry to talk about it.  She has lived on this planet only nine years and is already suffering the pain living with someone who is an alcoholic brings.

She asked me if I would walk that way again and I said I would love to see you again.  She hugged me and we waved good-by.

————————-

McKenna’s pain has only begun.  Times will get harder.  I can pray for her and be her friend.  A child shouldn’t have to feel this way!

Know this:  just because you may not be an “alcoholic” (you may not even know you could be) – and you think you are just a social drinker, be sure to plant a seed in your mind to monitor your habits.

As creatures of habit we get into the “habit” of things easily; they are harder to break.  Remember alcohol is a seductive and sneaky drug that at some point can creep up on you and rule your life!

Don’t wind up like the man I saw laying on the side of the road, sleeping under cardboard.  His shoes were off and I couldn’t see his face, but I could see the empty bottle of bourbon next to him.  Head towards the path a friend of mine went down.  He actually made a decision to quit all on his own.  He had been in jail, almost lost his family, and knew he had to do something.   He quit cold turkey and has not had a drink in twenty-five years.  His life is wonderful now and he has no regrets.

Don’t think your children aren’t watching.  They see and hear more than you think.  Don’t forget the statistics of high school and college age students who have DIED from alcohol poisoning is on the rise.  Don’t forget alcohol may seem to take you up temporarily, but as it wears off it becomes a depressant!

Now What Do I Do?

First of all, take a breath.  Before ANY fearful or major happening in your life, USE MINDFUL OXYGEN. It will help relax you and empower you.  Refer to earlier posts if you are not familiar with breathing techniques as there are a few on line practices on this website.  No charge, of course.

Seek help.  If you are hiding alcohol, have been drunk this week, or can relate to any of the scenarios above:  PLEASE SEEK HELP.

Most communities have Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and Alanon (for those suffering from the actions of alcoholics).  Look online for help and websites offering more suggestions.

Contact a church, a family member or friends…there is help available and there is NO SHAME in asking for help.  There is hope in it!

Don’t leave your spirit in an empty bottle of alcohol.  The choice is yours and yours alone.

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Senior Citizens and STRESS

Posted on June 5, 2010 by Marsha

Are you really stressed out because you are getting old?  (Sometimes there is no gentler way of putting aging into a gentle word).  It’s not an easy time.

Perhaps you are caring for an older person and sometimes you feel like deserting them.  Caring for someone that is elderly isn’t an easy time either.

Here is the reality of it all.  Life doesn’t get easier.  That’s a promise!   The Golden years was probably a phrase made up by some dweeb who hadn’t reached fifty yet! ” Ahhh” (he or she thought)” to be retired and be able to rest and relax.”

This is not to discourage you – these are just the facts!  But there are ways to COMPENSATE for the facts, and still enjoy your LIVES…whether you are the caregiver, or the older citizen.

Your best stress management course of action in either case is to be prepared, MENTALLY.  There is only so much you can do about a body as it deteriorates.  Though this is the natural way of things.

Stress Management Help for the Elderly

If you are older – it means you are still alive and have the opportunity to enjoy some things in life, and perhaps see a dream or two come true and it’s better than the other option.

As for those young people who seem to treat you like you’ve done something wrong because you are older – just remember,

though we like to step into another person’s shoe to find compassion – it’s impossible to understand your plights until you arrive at the same stage of life.  You just have to forgive their lack of character.

There will be young people and people of all ages who will cherish your wisdom and time….if you stay current and keep a sense of humor.  Don’t let the “pain” you may have get you down.  This is when it’s really important to take a breath and practice using your oxygen to help relieve your pain.

If you are unfamiliar with mindful breathing just check back a few posts ago and begin to practice it.  After three or four days of practicing, then do this.

When you inhale, visualize that healing oxygen going directly to whatever area needs it the most.  If you have wrenched your knee – send it there.  If the arthritis in your neck is painful send it there.  If your heart is aching because of an unkindness someone did to you, take a breath and visualize the oxygen going to your brain so you can meld emotion with intellect and not be overpowered with sorrow. Many people find as they age they become more sensitive, so this is important to do.

When you exhale visualize all pain subsiding.  Mind over matter can work.

Some people as they age turn sour and negative.  This won’t win you any friends or any company to have over for a visit.

So if this is your problem – STOP IT!  LEARN AGAIN to smile and remember the next moment of your life could be your last, so make this one count!

Stress Management Help for the Caregiver

If you are the caregiver of an elderly person, just think, you have the power to help make the last years of someone’s life be illuminated with kindness and perhaps, even love.  That is a position of honor.

Remember that when you look at an elderly person you are looking at you in the future.  Treat him or her, as you will want to be treated when you age.

When your patience wears thin use your mindful breathing techniques to regenerate and relax simultaneously.  It works.

When you are about to get angry or ill tempered verbally, use your secret weapon of oxygen and take a moment to inhale.

Think:  “I am calm.  I can do whatever it takes calmly.”

As you exhale think:  “My frustration is leaving me and any negative thoughts.

It only takes a minute to regain your preferred demeanor.  Be gentle.  The elderly have a mountain of problems to face that they don’t even share with others.

Attitude and health at all ages often deteriorate with lack of nutrition.  Make sure good food is available.  Too often when an elderly person is alone he or she simply is not motivated to eat.  Share time and maybe a meal with someone who is alone the majority of the time.

TRY TO USE OTHER FORMS OF STRESS MANAGEMENT TO AID YOU TOO.  THOUGH BREATHING IS NUMBER ONE, AND NUTRITION AND MOVEMENT VERY IMPORTANT, BUT  YOU HAVE MANY MORE CHOICES – MASSAGE, YOGA, THERAPY, DISCUSSION GROUPS, ONLINE FORUMS, REFLEXOLOGY AND  MORE…..AND REMEMBER, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS.”

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When love CHANGES or Dies -What’s next?

Posted on June 1, 2010 by Marsha

Are you devastated?  Distraught?  Feeling like you can’t go on anymore?

YES YOU CAN!

It is built into human nature to survive.  The majority of human beings (without alcohol and drugs being involved) are able to recover from almost anything!  If you think not, think again.  Just ask a Marine who has lost his limbs and has to start all over again or perhaps a young woman who finds herself a widow, or a mother who has been physically and/or verbally abused.  These are REAL scenarios.  RECOVERY is possible and will be faster than you think if you begin now.

You are NOT ALONE! The total numbers of U.S. divorces (excluding non-counting states) reported in the year 2000 was a staggering nine hundred and fifty seven thousand, two hundred and twenty for that year alone.  This statistic was ten years ago.  Statistics haven’t gotten better!

This figure didn’t include broken love affairs, broken friendships, or unreported instances of “some kind” of break-up.

Every human on this planet earth has felt emotions of despair at one time or another.  We all suffer LOSS.

You can start today by learning to use your oxygen.  (See yesterday’s post).  This is the first step.

Whether you have stopped loving someone, the love has changed, or you have lost someone to the final chapter of this life, you can recover.

There will be tears, and a flood of other emotions initially.  This is the way human beings are built.  If there is no sadness, and only rage and hatred, you have the opportunity now to begin again too.  (Start with the breathing technique in the last post.) When you feel rage you actually begin to breathe in a shallow manner and you need more oxygen for your brain to calm down!  More oxygen is necessary to think intelligently.

Remember:  What has happened is a done deal.  IF you have had this kind of loss the best thing you can do is move forward.

Acceptance.  Acceptance is primary.  What was then, is now changed.  This is life.  Life is a series of changes.

No one is telling you to not be sad, or feel insecure, or not to have regrets.  These things all seem to be a part of “pre-recovery”.  But don’t spend the next year of your life mourning.

It does not change things.

You can’t go back to “the good old days”.  They are the past.

Your goal now is to move forward, allow yourself a limited amount of time to mourn your loss – and if you were instrumental in making the changes then RECALL what prompted you to do so.  You must have been good reasons. Sometimes our emotions get in the way of our intellect and blur our memory of the “why” of things. Remember what prompted your actions.

This is not a post to sound cold and harsh.  It is a reality check.

The reality of the loss of any relationship or another human is deeply felt – but there must be a limit.  You will go forward.

Diversion is great therapy.  Join a stress management group; take yoga, or seek friendships through church or work.

“Busy hands are happy hands” makes sense.  If you stay busy you won’t have so much time to dwell on the past.  Volunteer; get together with family or old friends.

Lastly – quit dissecting what happened.  Men are much better at dropping a subject than women.  When it’s done for men it’s usually done.  Women like to go over and over it again, and truthfully, that is not a healthy way to recover.

Take a breath.  Say a prayer.  Life goes on and it can move oftentimes to many more wonderful times in the future; times you never imagined.   It’s up to you now.  Take a breath and start your life over.  Be rid of the negativity and start with a positive thought:  “I am healing!”

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Manage Stress TODAY – Online help!

Posted on May 31, 2010 by Marsha

Today is the day you need to begin to REALLY learn to manage your stress!  There is NO TIME to wait.  If you want the rest of your life to become more peaceful and less stressful – begin now!

Breathe in through your nose slowly, expanding from your lower abdominals upward, hold for a few seconds.  Now exhale through your mouth slowly and empty out the carbon dioxide from the lower abs (deflating like a balloon) upward.

Read the above paragraph and do it again.  Again.

You are physically giving your mind and body more oxygen that normal breathing.  Actually when you are “stressing” about things your breathing becomes shallow.

With the additional oxygen your brain will be able to think optimally (it needs fifty percent more oxygen that the rest of your body).  Your muscles and tendons and ligaments will begin to relax instead of tightening up and ultimately causing pain.  This is the way your wonderful body works.

Repetition is the mother of all learning, so do it again.

Breathe in through your nose slowly, expanding from your lower abdominals upward, hold for a few seconds.  Now exhale through your mouth slowly and empty out the carbon dioxide from the lower abs (deflating like a balloon) upward.

Each time you take “seconds” to do this, you are REALLY beginning to manage your stress.   This point cannot be diminished in importance.  Perhaps by mentioning that humans die without oxygen after just a few minutes, you can keep in mind the importance of mindful breathing.

You know why it is important to begin now!  With statistics of   unemployment facing two million families, all the economic woes, the oil spill, earthquakes, war on several fronts and the treat of new wars, the illegal alien fiasco, more foreclosures, and all the tragic events that are taking place, along with “normal” stresses (family, deaths, weddings, childbirth, etc. etc. etc.) you plenty of reasons to stop putting off learning to manage your stress.   Don’t say you don’t have time.

Do you have time to have a nervous breakdown?  How about hospital time for the physical ailments that WILL come with out of control stress?  Do you want to scream and take your unmanaged stress responses out on your children or your mate?  Do you want to find yourself going postal?  Violence comes to many who have ignored all the signals they need help.

If you don’t help yourself you aren’t going to be any good for anybody or anything else.  Your stress will compound and your physical ailments from it will increase in increments.

Breathe in through your nose slowly, expanding from your lower abdominals upward, hold for a few seconds.  Now exhale through your mouth slowly and empty out the carbon dioxide from the lower abs (deflating like a balloon) upward.

The magic begins with your oxygen.

When you have practiced this breathing add another technique to it.  As you inhale think:  “I am pulling in needed oxygen to help me think and act calmer.”  As you exhale think: ” I am sending with my exhalation, all my worries and damaging negative thoughts into oblivion.  Try it again.

Breathe in through your nose slowly, expanding from your lower abdominals upward, hold for a few seconds.

“I am regenerating and relaxing my mind and body”

Now exhale through your mouth slowly and empty out the carbon dioxide Breathe in through your nose slowly, expanding from your lower abdominals upward, hold for a few seconds.  Now exhale through your mouth slowly and empty out the carbon dioxide.

“I release my negativity to make room for healing oxygen”

Make your affirmations short if it is easier.  Inhale and think: “Peace”.  Exhale and think: “Release”.  The thoughts that will help you most in your own scenario are those to use.

IF IT SOUNDS JUST TOO SIMPLE – IT IS!  Because this technique is simple, and can be done anywhere, it is invaluable to get in the habit of using your own oxygen to empower, relax, and regenerate YOU.  Be wise and take advantage of this gift.

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For all of you who aren’t traveling, who are alone, or who may not be having a good weekend!

Posted on May 29, 2010 by Marsha

These flowers are for you!  Know in your heart – someone you don’t know – REALLY CARES!

California Poppy

Take a breath and enjoy these moments of your life!  When you are lonely or bored it is the perfect time to find a place to lay down, put on some gentle music (without words),  and begin to practice your breathing.

Inhale through the nose slowly and think:  “This is the breath of life.  It will make me feel better.”

As you exhale through the mouth think: “Everything changes and I exhale my negative thoughts to make room for better ones.”

Repeat this slow and mindful breathing and you will begin to relax.  It is the way this wonderful oxygen machine works.  Let

the negative feelings leave you with each exhalation.  With each inhalation breathe in hope and positive thoughts.

Change your mind and you change your life!  Love and blessings to you.

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“Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass…
it’s about learning to dance in the rain!”
-Vivian Greene

Posted on May 28, 2010 by Marsha

We all face adversity in our life.  It is not the adversity that defines us. It is how we respond to it.  During tough times, do you spend too much time feeling sorry for yourself, or wondering what life is all about?   Think about it honestly.

Step aside from your own self-pity, and worry that accomplishes nothing, and try to find gratitude for moments life presents – small moments of rapture – if you choose to see them.  You will be moving towards a happier and more peaceful life.

Listen to the bird singing a song outside the window in the morning, or the sound of raindrops on the roof that sing a melody of a cool spring rain and be grateful for your ears that hear.

Feel the wisp of a breeze across the face on a hot summer’s day.  Listen to someone laughing.  It will brighten your moment even if you don’t know why they are laughing; be grateful as laughter heals

Be grateful for a body that heals from life’s injuries and sustains itself without much help from you – for decades!    “Learn how to dance in the rain”.

It almost sounds too simple to be important, but one word, “gratitude”, can change your attitude, thus, your life, forever.

“When we choose not to focus on what is missing from our lives but are grateful for the abundance that is present, we experience heaven on earth.”- Sarah Breathnach

When we choose to focus on the positive that still exists all around us, it is magnified in our vision, and these positive and grateful thoughts help manage stress and build peace from within.

Find something to celebrate.  Pet a puppy.  Hug a friend. Be grateful for your mind, an intelligence that allows you to change your thoughts, and change your life!

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Memorial Day Weekend – Stress, driving under the influence and DEATH

Posted on May 26, 2010 by Marsha

You probably are already experiencing stress just anticipating

the upcoming Memorial holiday weekend.  If you are traveling keep these statistics in mind:

In California alone, the Memorial Day weekend produced one thousand, four hundred and forty nine drunk drivers in 2009.

Three hundred and eighty five people were killed on California highways in 2009.

These statistics are ONLY in California!  When you take a seat in an automobile, you are either the captain of the ship or a passenger, but ANYONE who is in the automobile is capable of being part of the CAUSE an accident!

How to help manage the stress

The children

If you are taking children, and do not have the luxury of video or television in your car, be sure to take a special sack with things that can provide activities for the children.

If they are “into” music, a music player of some sort and earphones will keep probably keep them mentally occupied while they mouth the words of their favorite tunes, and watch the miles go by.

Some children might prefer books to read, or a clipboard or travel desk with crayons and something to color or draw.

If you are going to be traveling a long distance it would be great to have snacks and maybe even lunch to pass out, in increments.  Make sure what you bring, including drinks, are not easily “mess makers”.

If you’ve taken off and forgotten all of the above, take the time to play a few travel games with the children.  One game that is quite enjoyable is the “quiet game”.  The rules are simply to see who can remain the quietest the longest – on your mark…..

The winner might reap the reward of a piece of hard candy or piece of gum.   Remember to enjoy the time together as time is not a guaranteed commodity.

Alcohol

The number one rule of the road is NO ALCOHOL if you are driving.  NO OPEN CONTAINERS in the vehicle assure the temptation to drink is zero.

It is illegal to drink and drive – it’s as simple as that!  Drinking is to blame for many deaths on the highway, and many non-lethal accidents.  You can’t efficiently drive a vehicle if you are in a trance, a stupor, blacked out, goofy or drunk!

Don’t be an ass or the enemy of the people – DON’T drink and drive!

Memorial Day, originally called Decoration Day, is a day of remembrance for those men and women who have died in our nation’s service. Originally known as Decoration Day. It originated in the years following the Civil War and became an official federal holiday in 1971. Many Americans observe Memorial Day by visiting cemeteries or memorials, holding family gatherings and participating in parades.

Too many people celebrate by getting drunk.  You are supposed to be remembering those whom have died protecting their country and YOUR right to be free and ALIVE!

Honor the holiday by using good judgment and common sense.  There will be plenty of people on the road who are not handling their stress well – be sharp, stay alert, and be a defensive driver.

Absolutely have fun and enjoy the time these men and women have made possible for you.  When you are tempted to keep drinking, take a breath and choose to REMEMBER the holiday with your wits still in tact.  You can have a drink or two, laugh, overeat and play – just do it with “moderation”.

DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE.  Find a designated driver who is willing to NOT drink, or stay home!

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What are positive affirmations and mindful meditations? Why will they help manage stress?

Posted on May 24, 2010 by Marsha

You have most likely heard these terms before, but perhaps you are not familiar with exactly what they mean, and why you should include them in your stress management program.

An affirmation is something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true. Combine it with positive and you come up with statements that could include:

“I am healing.”

“I feel better by the moment.”

Affirmations are powerful statements that become truth.  Practice POSITIVE affirmations and they will transform your mind, body, perceptions and actions.  They create brain cells and become imprinted in your mind and on your heart.

Positive affirmations repeated become reality and they replace negative feelings and false beliefs.

Mindfulness is “a kind of non-elaborative, nonjudgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation observed under close or careful and concentrated personal attention”.

With this type meditation, there is increased recognition of mental events that happen. You may see a particular orientation toward your own experiences in the present moment, an orientation that is characterized by curiosity, openness, and acceptance.

The purpose of incorporating them into your program is to help overcome a negative mind and cultivate constructive thoughts.

Most minds are wild.  You can begin to tame your mind with positive affirmations and mindful meditations by paying complete attention to your thoughts, and guiding them.

Adopt a passive attitude of letting you become relaxed; don’t force it.  Don’t worry about whether you are doing it right.  Concentrate on how you feel and be consistent about doing at least three sessions of ten to fifteen minutes a week.

As you practice enhance your sessions by taking deep breaths and releasing tension with each exhalation.  Imagine a wave of relaxation moving from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

Examples of positive affirmations:

“I let go of the old and make room for the new.”

“I am calm and at peace.”

“I feel a wave of relaxation within my body.”

“I let my mind dissolve into neutral for now.”

“I can focus my thoughts as I choose.”

“I am not my circumstances, nor my history.  I am now.”

Your life is not what happens to you.  It is your attitude in response to what happens.  You cannot control every circumstance of your life, but you can begin now to plant good thoughts into your mind.

Affirmations are like seeds.  If you plant good thoughts, what springs into your life is just what you planted – it always happens.  Meditate mindfully remembering you can use your thoughts and words to create what you want in your life.

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Thirteen Rules for Thirteen Year Old Boys and Girls Talk about stress? Kids have it too – and plenty of it!

Posted on May 21, 2010 by Marsha

This post is for all children who are turning thirteen this year (or those who have just turned thirteen).  It is tough beginning your teenage years.  You are not quite a kid, and not quite an adult!  There are demands made on you from school, parents, and even your friends.

Pick your friends carefully as you often will be judged by the company you keep (for instance if they were troublemakers); friends can also influence you and weaken your own ideas IF YOU LET THEM!  Stick to what you know to be right in your mind and heart.  Now here are some rules that will help you if you think about it!

1.   Wait to get ” seriously involved” – this is the beginning of your life – your choices now will AFFECT THE REST of your life.  Don’t be pressured by anyone.

2.   Pick your battles with your parents.  Ninety-nine percent  of the time they are doing what they feel is the best for you.  Besides, ultimately, they are in charge.  Remember it’s difficult for them to let you spread your wings in decision-making.  They will, in time, be patient and make good decisions when it comes to YOU voicing your opinions.  Make it an intelligent conversation; not an argument.

3.   You are entering a period of chronic low-level insanity.  The “other” sex and freedom seem to be a priority, but you have your entire life to have both. Don’t be rushed. The person you like now may seem just right, but as you mature, your taste will probably change – about ninety-eight percent of “boyfriend-girlfriend” relationships in the teen years changes!

4.   The coolest people I know as adults were those who had many trials as a teenager, and met the challenges with a good mix of emotions and intellect.  The most successful are those who NEVER drank or did drugs of ANY KIND.

5. What may seem like the biggest thing in your life right now may not seem to be so to your parents.  They have their own multiple worries. Try to step in their shoes once in a while.  Parenting is an overwhelming challenge.

6. If something is illegal, there is probably a good reason.

7.  You’re not stuck. It will end. But it’s going to take a long, long time, so be a part of the fun, not the problems.

8.  Pick up your own messes and even help someone else sometimes.  It will pay off in the long run.  When you grow up no one can say, “Boy, he sure lives like a pig”, and you will enjoy your home.

9.  When you feel you haven’t done anything wrong, but you are blamed, remember the truth will always win in the long run – and you may not be the target – the “arrow” may have just hit you.

10.  Even zits have zits. This too shall pass.

11.  Your parents don’t hate you. Your parents love you more than you can even understand now.

12.  Don’t kiss someone if they have a cold sore! – Herpes is contagious and is forever.  There is NO cure.

13. Treat people with respect and don’t forget to say THANK YOU.  In life giving a bit of honest appreciation goes a long way and what you give will come back to you.

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