Tag Archives: brain

Invisible injuries – Mental and Physical

Invisible injuries

We all have them.  Whether they be mental or physical, they all come with the territory of being human.

The difficult part is NO ONE on planet earth can fully understand what YOU personally may be tackling as far as these unseen or unknown challenges.  No one will ever know one hundred percent.

This is why in order to succeed in life, we must attend to our own “healing” of mind-body-and spirit, and we must forgive those who don’t GET where we are coming from.

It may be the depths of hell to us, but not even within the view of others understanding.

The reason I lay all of this on US is because I am going through those invisible injuries.

I have had a pile of them all my life (off and on) – WE ALL DO.  They are all different and all in different degrees of the need to heal.

Truth be told, NO ONE but YOU can do the healing.  I will add in (because these are MY thoughts, and this is my place to offer up my thoughts), that if you have a belief system beyond yourself, life will be leaps and bounds easier to handle and the mountains less tenuous to climb.

I am fortunate because I have faith that cannot be shaken no matter how difficult my life becomes….and truth be told again, life does not get easier….it gets harder.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you cannot have laughter, and joy, and love, and reap all the rewards we humans still have available.

The key is how you CHOOSE to respond to your own problems, and the tenderness with which you CHOOSE to have understanding and forgiveness of others.  Personally, I can NEVER hold a grudge.  Being unforgiving and judgemental festers inside you like an infected sore.  When you forgive (even if you don’t mean it at first), you begin to heal from within!  REALLY.  You release ugly and negative thoughts, and are able to use your own healing powers for yourself!

Another great way to handle stress of invisible problems is to breathe.  Get plenty of oxygen and your body will “think” better and “feel” better.  It is THE WAY of your body. Think about it.  Slow or stop breathing and what happens?  Less oxygen, less optimal thinking and healing, and ultimately death!  So is it important?  What do you think?

Lastly, I guarantee I have at least thirty to forty things going on within me physically and mentally that no one can ever understanding.  But what I realize is it is UP TO ME to handle it all.  I tried being miserable.  It sucked.  So I gave it up!

You can rise above WHATEVER it is that is aching to pull you down.  Try not to exclusively dwell on the problems.  Divert your own attention by accomplishing tasks that lay before you.  When you feel like a pity party, TAKE A BREATH – think of it like ammo and a secret weapon.  It is.  If you think this is all pie in the sky and just words –


I would not waste my precious moments (and each moment is precious to me), expounding on words with no meaning.  Thoughts with no depth.

So please think about it.  Read this again, and remember:


God bless you!

NOT a post regarding NOT drinking alcohol!

This is a post to just say – I know there are plenty of you out there who are able to enjoy a drink or two, and not loose your wits about you, or get drunk!  That is PERFECTLY fine in my humble opinion.

The post last week was just to alert some people who may be unaware of a pending or current problem.  I would not be me if I did not attend to some “stress management” techniques honestly – the upside and the down fal – so to speak!

Hope you had a fantastic weekend!  I really enjoyed just an exceptionally beautiful day.

Sometimes I feel kind of guilty because the weather in this town is lovely most of the time.  My heartfelt prayers go to those who are in terrible scenarios because of the winter weather.

Be careful on the road, and don’t drink and drive (hhaaaahaaa, just had to add that!)

Let’s get on to a bit of stress management magic.  Working with the public can be stressful just because all of us are not able to be happy and relaxed, all of the time.  So it does take practice and finesse to “handle” situations effectively.

We all have a secret weapon within us.  It can be called upon and used no matter what the situation may be.  It is the use of our oxygen.

If you are a person familiar with yoga or lamaze breathing, you have a bit of a head start.

Even though oxgyen is something we take for granted, because we need not think about breathing, and it just happens, our oxygen can be used to refine our “people skills.”

Say you have a nasty customer screaming in your face about something.  You know you have to handle it with decorum, yet you would really like to double up your fist and punch them right in the pie hole!  How do you begin to respond?

First exercise – use your intellect.

  1. Take a deep breath slowly, knowing that moment will allow you to respond more effectively. When we feel stress, our breathing slows and we don’t get a good amount of oxygen to use our brains.  Our muscles begin to tighten up, and our response may fly out of our mouths without much thought behind the words.
  2. Speak calmly and actually with a lower voice than you might normally use.  Yelling back only excalates.  The client will have to be calmer in order to hear you.  By taking a couple of breaths before speaking you will have a chance to let them calm down and reply with words of your choice, not reaction words.
  3. Suggest there must be a way to resolve the dilema, even if you don’t know how right at the moment.
  4. Then proceed calmly, taking charge of what could have been a scenario that was out of control.

It sounds too simple, I know.  You may think some situations cannot be handled this way, but in all the years I have known about this secret weapon, I have NEVER come across a circumstance that I could not handle effectively.  This is honest!  Pretty high record, eh?

I also pray.  Prayer is my most powerful ally, even if I don’t always SEEM to get the answer I wanted!

So there it is, and IT WORKS!  You can learn to use your oxygen to be your secret weapon.  If it sounds too simple, to silly (perhaps), really think about it.

When you get oxygen to the brain (which requires fifty percent more than the rest of the body to function optimally), you will respond more effectively.  You will keep your neck and shoulders from tightening up and causing yourself unnecessary pain.  You will have more relaxed energy.  There are many other benefits.

Think about it.  Your oxygen is something you cannot live for long without it.  You can refine it and learn to use it in way you never dreamed.  Why not?

Think about it.  Would it be bettter to slow your breathing because of stress, or make your breathing your secret weapon?  It is always with you, and it is free.

Have an outstanding day.  You might as well take a few mindful plugs of oxygen when you finish this post.  CREATE it.


Are you having a bad pain day?  Physically?  Mentally?

Join the crowd.  Believe it or not, it is RARE for any human being to make it through a week without some kind of “pain”.

PAIN:  physical or mental suffering or discomfort.  Agony, torture, ache, throb, sting, torment, hurt, twinge. Bother, effort, sadden, grieve, distress, perturb, oppress, and more…..

Whether used as a noun or a verb, pain is a word we are all too familiar with, and that is for certain.

“Is there any way to get rid of pain?” you might ask.  The answer is not a simple yes or no.  I wish it were, as it would make everyone’s lives so much easier to live.

Here is the answer we all want to hear:  YES, some pain will go away.  For instance, if you twist your ankle – within time and the right treatment and the pain will go away.  There are many instances in which pain will diminish and disappear.

Now, here is the harsh truth no one wants to hear:  some pain will never go away.  The physical pain of a wound or injury can dissipate with healing.  Down the road,  however, our human body “may” suffer residual effects from injuries early in your life.  Arthritis may affect you as you reach retirement age.  There is no guarantee either way.  You may suffer pangs of memory of the earlier injuries or wound with a weakness – or you may not!

That’s life!  No guarantees!

As far as pain from a divorce, or the pain from the agony of a bad breakup or sadness of the loss of someone you love, AGAIN, there are no guarantees how long you will suffer mentally from those incidents.

So what is the point of this post?  I can tell you from A VAST ARRAY OF BOTH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL over a lifetime, there are ways to put pain on a back burner and not on a pedestal!

USE YOUR BRAINS!  Switch from the emotion of pain to your intellect!  As I have said to a few people when they asked how I have handled all that has happened to me, I just tell them ‘I AM MENTAL!”  I am.

Not unstable, not crazy (except in a good way), but mental in the way that I learned long ago to switch from emotion to intellect, and THEN REACT to your pain.  Emotion sometimes makes us hang on to feelings that should be long gone.  And, I know from personal experience, that we humans are MUCH STRONGER and MORE CAPABLE than we usually give ourselves credit for; perhaps in some people,  it is just not knowing how much we can handle.

I am only able to spend a bit more time on this post today, but as a beginning, here are some tips to handle mental and physical pain.

1.  Use your oxygen.  When we feel any pain it is a natural response to slow or stop good breathing.  We cut off our oxygen supply that is needed to be intelligent and make the best choices.  Breathing can be your secret weapon.  If its good enough to help women through childbirth (and I’ve had three children), it surely is good enough to help all of us begin to be in charge of our PAIN.

2.  Do not believe what anybody tells you about how your pain will be terrible and forever. That is BS.  Do not be overwhelmed by anyone else’s opinion, even the “practicing physician”.

  1. Think in terms of” I can and I will” whatever – when we think we create brain cell impressions and we actually begin a path of becoming wheoever we think we are!
  2. Be realistic.  I KNOW without a doubt that I have to deal with some residual effects of a major surgery that had last May.  It is a LONG story, but because of some really careless and negligent health “professionals” I believe nerve roots were killed, and not just damaged.  Therein, I must learn to live with some changes that absolutely drove me nuts at first.  I must also live with some pain.  I have accepted it, and am moving onward and upward.

No body says it is easy to use your wits instead of falling on your emotions, but it is easier than you may think.  We are creatures of habit.  If you get into the habit of thinking and living certain ways, you can REALLY improve the quality of your life.  It may be a challenge at first, but we humans are way stronger than we can even imagine.  We are made to survive!

I do have to close to begin dinner for my hubby, but lastly I need to mention, if you believe in God, believe in the power that is available to you through prayer.  That is my greatest defender and healer.  If you don’t believe in God, then for goodness sake, say a pray to heal anyway once in a while.  It can’t hurt – right?

CREATE your life.  Create your healing.  It can be done!  Just keep thinking that you are “mental” – in a good way!  If you ever want to know my “challenges” to see where I am coming from, let me knowm and I will share at sometime.  But what is important now is HEAL, BABY, HEAL!  For yourself, for your family, and because life is just lots more fun when you are the captain of your ship.





How to apply “stress management” to a difficult situation

I remember tossing and turning last night.  I could not get comfortable because the pain in my hips and back was too intense.

When I awoke I found it difficult to move.  It was more difficult to get behind myself and push myself to the edge of the bed.  My feet and ankles are so out of my control since the accident and surgery.  They are numb, they hurt, and they won’t listen to what my brain tells them to do! Well, they do partially – and I thank God for that.

I fight using the walker.  It has been five and a half months since the surgery.  I use it anyway as I need the balance for my drop foot, and both my hips are so “bone on bone”, the pain is far to intense to trust my legs to carry me.

With physical therapy I am strengthening my arms and I can see and feel the difference.

They now have become my strongest of body parts, and not my legs.  I thank God we have choices and can use our wits to use our bodies as best we can.

I AM NOT COMPLAINING, though it may sound like it.  I am grateful!  I found myself smiling when I brought the dog a treat.  I do still have so many blessings.  I believe one of the most wonderful gifts is the ability to change my habits.  We all have that gift.

I could wallow in pain and despair, but WHY?  That certainly isn’t fun, and I intend to use the rest of my life to hunt for, and put into action, the reasons I am still supposed to be living and breathing!  I still love being ALIVE.

Call me crazy, but aren’t we all?  Already, because of the ‘habits” I’ve cultivated, the prayers I say daily (THY will be do….) I naturally FEEL BETTER THAN I DID twenty minutes ago.

I HAVE OPPORTUNITY.  I HAVE INTELLECT (well, a smattering of it).  I HAVE LOVE, and am also ready to RECEIVE ANY LOVE bestowed upon me. I HAVE THE CHOICE TO MAKE MY LIFE ONE OF HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY! I could go on and on and on, but I want to finish and post this right away, in case you have a minute to “read me” this morning.

My husband asks, “How is it that you love and care about people you have never met, and probably will never meet?

I answered him.  “All I know is that I believe we were born to worship God, as each of us know Him and allow Him to direct us.  I believe that we are all born earthlings, and all share the same capacity for LOVE.  We all feel hunger and sorrow, and pain.  We all

SHOULD, and CAN, feel happiness and strive for what is just in this world…for what is good and kind.  If that is sappy, then call me a sap.

When someone hurts, I share the pain.  When someone hungers, half way across the world, I pray and have hope for the hunger and suffering end.  I really do care.”

With that being said, I send LOVE and part of my unending positive energy and healing to whomever hasn’t yet discovered that we have a power source within that can regenerate all the days of our lives.

PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT.  Use your gifts – whatever they may be – and if you don’t know yours, start a search to explore yourself and begin to share with others.  The sharing alone will begin to heal you.  Even the tinest kindness to someone will bring a healing to you.

I find my pain more tolerable this morning now that I’ve done my best to connect with you and share some of the innate joy (and cultivated positive attitude) I have.

CREATE a day of beauty and love, no matter what the circumstance.  Remember, YOU ALWAYS have a choice of how to respond to ANY SCENARIO.  I am confident, if you take a few mindful breaths, stretch for a few moments, and smile simply because you know someone here REALLY CARES!  I am SURE there are others that do too!!

Blessings and love to you all.

Mid-life Crisis?

Are you at the point in your life when you are seriously thinking about divorce or ending your relationship?  This post is for all relationships, because all humans sometimes suffer similar emotions.

 There is no sudden biological event that causes these emotional changes in a male, at least not comparable to the female menopause. Both sexes find may find themselves with similar emotional challenges between the age of forty and fifty, though it can be different timing – as different as we are human beings. Both sexes however, have some of the same feelingsduring the menopause and a man’s mid-life crisis. 

 Do any of these “symptoms” ring a bell?


             - anxiety            

           - irritability


            -overall unhappiness with life


 Those are challenges both sexes need to be aware of to address the emotional turmoil that may envelop a relationship. 

 I find that if I “know” there is a reason for some feelings, I am    better able to meet the challenges of them and not drift a part in my relationship.  Therein, AWARENESS is a beginning.

Women are more likely to talk about their “transition”, but men are more likely unwilling to talk about their crisis.  What is more, they may not even realize what is happening, deliberately ignore it, or even worse, ignore the fact that aging is taking place!

Why there is a negative connotation attached to menopause and a mid-life crisis is a mystery to me.  It should be viewed as perhaps one of the most exciting times in life. 

Other than childhood, no other decade is more complex, interesting, exciting, and unsettled.  We face change, crisis, flux, growth and intense challenges.

Both transitions have been written about, but in fairness, more about women’s changes than men’s.  That is why I will lean towards explaining more about the “man change” as I like to call it. 

There are some biological changes to review first. A man will lose some physical and muscle tone, his body weight is shifting and some men begin to loose hair.

Because so much emphasis has been placed on self-image, some men begin to view themselves as less of a man.  The ego is bruised. 

Lastly, the social aspect of his life may be affected.  The world, in clear tones, tells both men and women that life isn’t very meaningful after forty-five or fifty.

For those of you men facing this, and all men will, if you can remember it is normal to the human life and YOU WILL GET THROUGH IT.  Take a breath!  Better to be prepared than to think you are going crazy.

You are already dealing with adapting to a new world of technology, and an economic crisis with lots of job losses faces us all The man change can bring cynicism.  You’d hoped by now life would be settled and you would be on your way to retirement.  You are caught between generations – your adolescent children and your aging parents.  Everyone needs attention.  Our culture emphasizes that only the young people can have outrageous fun, and jokes about again seem to confirm it Youth is worshiped, which devalues everyone else.  Everyone knows older people have nothing to live for anyway. 

Aside from the youth cult putting you down, you have too much pressure bringing home the bacon and trying to make everyone happy!  Sometimes you feel just like a machine.  You feel like an inadequate vending machine, with everyone pushing your buttons.

On top of it teenagers are having their growth “crisis” at the same time a man might have his!  Is there any wonder now, guys, why sometimes you feel like running away? 

 Your crisis, just like a woman’s menopause, affects everything in your life.  But it doesn’t have to be a reason to run away, quit your job, or have an affair with a twenty year old.  So many men have gone off the deep end, NOT KNOWING their feelings are legitimate and important to face squarely.  You’ve not been a coward before, and this is a natural part of life.  Perhaps you didn’t realize the basis for your feelings, but knowing they are normal may help you and your partner to learn to turn things to a better path and a calmer time.

You can put your enemies in a line, like ducks in a row.  Your first enemy is your waning physical prowess and strength.  Enemy number two is work that you feel is trapping you.  The third enemy is your wife and family.   What is the ultimate enemy?  Why God, of course!

“How could a loving God make me like this.  He is ultimately to blame.

Now that we have identified that you guys really are going through some heavy crap….what are we going to do about it?  There is hope!

For now I must close the post and meet with the RN who comes over to check up on me twice a week.  I am better, but it is a slow process.

Tomorrow we will find ways to cope and rise above these hard times.  You need to do this for your peace and happiness, and so you don’t accidentally dump what is really important to you during a fit of anger or depression.  In the meantime, take a breath.  Find a way to steal a few minutes to take a hot bath (real men take baths!)  or just relax and enjoy the evening.














Five Days of Very Personal Stress and Proven Ideas to Help You

Monday through Friday of next week I am going to touch on various points of stress. There may be five different posts, or three posts dedicated to one subject.  I will pray and decide as the words are cascading from my mind to the written word. The posts won’t be too long, but they will touch on subjects that are difficult to discuss even with family and friends.

To clarify, any thoughts on how to “manage” these stressful things, have been tested.  I have seen people change their lives by changing their thoughts .  But that doesn’t come without creating new habits.  All knowledge put into action must be habitual if you are to succeed.

It will be  totally in your hands as to how you proceed to use them to help, or let them dissipate in your mind.  Nothing worthwhile will happen in one moment of time.  Thoughts on managing stress are just that.  They have no material value.  The value is in your own mind, and willingness to command and change your thoughts, and actions therein, when necessary.

So think about something that needs attention as far as managing your stress.  If I do not touch on the points that are urgent to you, feel free to comment and let me know your concerns.  I will try to use the knowledge and experience that has been given to me, to help you.P1020817

In the meantime.  Take a breath.  Enjoy your day – moment by moment.  Hug someone. Be kind.  Try to go outdoors if possible, if the weather cooperates, and discover the beauty that is all around us.  God bless you all.


Work Related Stress

This post is dedicated to all of you who EARN a paycheck (outside of the home). There are many kinds of “work”, but today I am speaking to those of you who are getting ready to go, are already at work, or those who have the day off for one reason or another.

My husband gave me a good example of handling work stress the other day. At first he came home and said he felt like a slave to his bosses. “They are dumping everything on me, and working me to death.” he started. I thought it was going to be bad.

Then he looked at me and said, “But I don’t care – they are paying me good and I’ll be their slave, even if it means emptying the trash cans. At least I am working, and at least I bring home a good check.”

Guess what? He handled it perfectly to waylay stress being packed tightly inside and waiting for the implosion. He figured out a way to put it in a perspective that kept him level and managed his stress.

That is what you need to do too. I don’t mean suck it up and do everyone else’s work, or do things that you know are improper. But be a realist to the point that you are working! That is a big plus these days. You are getting paid to spend your hours fulfilling your duties.

Here is where you need to be careful. If you are buried and simply can’t handle another task, learn to say “No. Can’t do this as my plate is full.” Be honest and stand firm if it is the right thing to do.

If you “choose” to take on extra work, then be prepared to be tired and maybe reach an impasse that becomes a challenge. Because you accept the challenge, be also prepared to handle the potential for stress. That might come with the territory.

Stress monster


When you feel the stress monster attacking, use your best weapon against blowing up. Breathe!

You know stress is taking over when your thinking becomes cluttered, or your shoulders tighten, or you begin to get frustrated and cranky. You’ve probably already started “shallow breathing” (which happens unbeknown to us as stress edges it’s way inside). That shallow breathing CAUSES a lack of oxygen – therein, muscles tightening, less oxygen to the brain to think optimally, and less control of your emotions.

Breathe! It is your secret weapon, and if you think that is silly, think again!
As you breathe in slowly your oxygen relaxes the shoulders, your thinking becomes less muddled, and you find your intellect takes control instead of your raging emotions. Now that is an effective weapon to use, and it’s FREE and available throughout every waking minute of the day.

Breathe in slowly; breathe out slowly. Do it several times before responding to a “situation.”

You are in charge of YOU.