Tag Archives: children

Got no clue of where to go from here? Then just read this short post for fun

If you cannot do what you used to do – do what you can.

A good cry washes the eyes and lets loose of sorrow withheld, to begin anew.

If you want to see trust – look in the eyes of your dog.

You cannot heal if you refuse to think you will.

Never listen to words from a man with a heart of stone.

Remember God, and He will remember you.

Stop long enough to say hello to the person standing next to you in line.  You may see an unexpected smile.

A sincere “thank you” is a gift worth more than gold to the receiver.

Did you see the full moon?  Why not?  How many do you have left in your lifetime?

A good memory needs reviewing on occasion..  A bad one should be dismissed – if the lesson was learned.

Begin to see the series of things that happen in your life not as burdens, but as challenges.

For every kind word you speak to an elderly person, your heart enlarges, and your place in eternity is more certain.

Love children, even if they are dirty and have a runny nose, and are not yours.  They are newcomers to this planet and they learn what they see and hear.  They belong to all of us.

Remember we are all human beings, all flawed, and all overburdened in one way or another. Join together as if someone is invading our homes, as if war is imminent, clasp spirits, and then pray for peace, hand to hand and heart to heart.  We are human.  We are earthlings, here to be a family, to protect the planet, and to forgive, and love one another.

Now stretch your arms up, take a breath, and smile.  CREATE a day worth living!

Always find a way to laugh and be happy.  That’s my plan, and I’m sticking to it!

 

 

 

 

This is how to have a great weekend

DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH!  If you think this is a joke – Not!What is the old saying, “Nothing like a reformed prostitute”?

Preach, preach, preach.  Wasn’t in that profession (I might be rich:), but I can relate to drinking too much and throwing away a period of time in my life that has tortured me for thirty years after.  I thought I was in control.  I thought I was just being social.  I thought I needed a drink or two to relax and be comfortable and with the crowd.  I thought a drink would take the edge off of the stress of the day.  I thought since it was legal and “pushed” there could be nothing wrong with a glass of wine at night, or a drink.  I thought, I thought, I thought.

Then I drank, I drank, I drank.  I never went to AA.  I was never a smelly drunk laying on the street with an empty bottle in my hand.

I was a “functional” drinker.  I could partake and still take care of all my responsibilities and my children and husband.  HOWEVER…..there is no such animal.  You can fool yourself, but you will not fool your children, or your family and friends.

Alcohol is a seductive and nasty drug.  It will take you down over and over again.  ”Methinketh thou protests too much” Shakespeare wrote…..you know you can handle it.  This doesn’t apply to you.

Okay – I am being brutally honest about myself because I CARE.  Brutally honest because I found, thirty years later, there were still things I did not remember because of blackouts.  I am lucky to be alive.  I am blessed.  I do not want you to go through the same hell for a drink!

I wrote this about fifteen years ago, and would like to share it with you.  REAL STRESS MANAGEMENT does not include a drink “because you need it to relax”.  That is a lie and in the long run it will take charge and it CAN ruin your life.  Think about it.  Great goals are never easy.  But from experience I can tell you – absolutely worth the effort!  God bless.

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My Friend

You’ve been my friend for over thirty years.  Still, we teeter between love and hate.

You were with me for the good times.  You were with me when I was down or in pain.

You were my friend when I was lonely and felt I had no other friend.

You gave me courage when I felt insecure, you made me forget.

You’ve been with me to heaven’s gate and then to the gates of hell.

It seems you’ve always been near, within my reach.

 

At times I hated you, but just when I thought you were gone for good, little by little,

You subtly sneaked your way back into my life.

You’ve always had your way with me.

You, my treacherous friend sometimes made me turn into someone else, a monster.

You made me seething with hatred and anger.

You made me think I wanted to kill myself.

You stole my will.

You made me see from a perspective that was not my own.

 

You sucked the life from me and yet I found myself calling on you again and again!

You invaded every area of my life, took me up and then dropped me down again.

You usurped my energy and spirituality.

You took my creativity, my intellect, and my motivation to be me.

 

When we parted you still affected my days and nights.  I thought I needed you.

You almost killed me more than once with your reckless and distorted control.

You lure me into that altered state of consciousness, to be drunk.

To sleep the perpetual sleep, never perceiving reality.

Never to see the true shining star from within.

 

You are NO FRIEND OF MINE John Barleycorn.  You are alcohol, the devil in disguise. You and your associates will not steal my life again. I vow you will not win.

 

You are socially acceptable.  You are legal.  You are NO FRIEND OF MINE!

 

 

FAST TIPS

Here’s some pretty up front stress management techniques:

 Stop wallowing in the slop and feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something!  It’s been a rough day.  I presume it’s been a rough day for lots of people.  I would give a million dollars, if I had it, or all that I had, to be where I was last Janurary 4th and not step off the path and fall.  My life is changed forever.

 But combine that mistep with some inept doctors and here it is – a done deal.

I have accepted that.  I am adapting to all that I will never be able to do again, and now that I am six months after the surgery – I have to reappraise my goals and my own destiny.

 

 We all have choices to make.  That first piece of advice was for me too.  Waa waa I have it so rough.  Well, I do, but I also have it so good.  I have a warm bed to sleep in, and there are people that love me.  I am able to pet my dog, drive my car, and sit in the warm sunlight.  My husband accepts my disabilities and that is huge! 

 

 So with this little pep talk I will finish the thoughts of this post and get up and do something. No one can change your life except YOU.  You can be the master of your destiny, at least in response to life.  Choose well as you never know when things will change – and that you can be sure of – change.

 

 

 Second up front piece of advice.  STOP YELLING AND SCREAMING AND ARGUING.  IT IS ANNOYING, IT IS USELESS, AND IT RESOLVES NOTHING.

I find arguments heat up when alcohol is involved, so make a point of NOT fighting when drinking.  That is VERY URGENT.  Alcohol causes violence that in turn cause unforgiveable acts.

 

 It wasn’t the industralization of man that is the ruination of man.  It is the rampid and increasingly acceptable level of alcohol that is consumed by man.Besides, even without alcohol – yelling and screaming and fighting is just the biggest waste of time ever!  We could all die in the next five minutes by some horrific incident.

I am going out smiling!  Don’t waste your time, and don’t diminish someone else by screaming useless things,  you probably don’t mean, in their faces.

 

 

TAKE A TIME OUT.  Most things people fight over are VERY unimportant- many people can’t even remember why they fought in the first place.  Take a time out or walk away.  Don’t open your mouth if it’s not worthy of you! 

 

Tylenol Scare

Please be aware of this.  Especially with children’s Tylenol.  Administer it correctly.  The number one safety protocol is to follow what the label says.Roughly one-hundred and fifty Americans a year die and tens of thousands are hospitalized after overdosing on acetaminophen, the active ingredient in Tylenol.  Other over-the-counter pain relievers are included in this warning. “ProPublica reveals that this active ingredient is the country’s leading cause of acute liver failure – and that even a small overdoes can be deadly.” (The Week Magazine)Now put together some exceeding of doses, and the damage alcohol does to the liver.  That is a dangerous balancing act.  Alcohol and Tylenol should not be combined!

Just use common sense and read the labels.  Be particularly aware of the dose given to children.  We have the intellect to use drugs the way they were intended, and not just administer them carelessly.

Have a beautiful weekend and remember the old adage, “Moderation in all things”…..your body, mind and spirit will reap many rewards if you can just keep this in mind.  God bless you all!  Remember the healthier you are, the more manageable ANY STRESS will be!

 

 

IMPORTANT – CONTAGIOUS – VIRUS – NEW STRAIN

This is not to make you panic but to KNOW what to do to protect you and your family; particularly small children and the elderly.

NOROVIRUS is EXTREMELY CONTAGIOUS and has no cure except TIME!  This is a new strain, unseen before.

The best way to avoid the norovirus is to wash your hands often using soap and water. Alcohol-based hand cleansers are not effective against this virus.

Noroviruses are the leading cause of foodborne disease outbreaks worldwide, and may soon eclipse rotaviruses as the most common cause of severe pediatric …

Norovirus is a highly contagious viral illness that thrives in colder weather. Sometimes called the stomach flu, it begins suddenly and usually causes stomach cramps and nausea in addition to vomiting and diarrhea. Some people may also experience low-grade fever, chills, headache, body aches and fatigue.

The vomiting can be projectile, and the diarrhea severe, so please remember the virus stays alive for a long period of time – even after normal cleaning.

It can be on an elevator button, a railing on an elevator, salt and pepper shakers in a restaurant…even on dishes that have been watched by a thorough “normal cleaning”.

Most people recover quickly, but serious complications can occur, including death.

Small children and the elderly are highest at risk groups. Spread the word. Make sure nursery schools and school officials are aware of these facts.

Those infected with norovirus are contagious from the moment they begin to feel sick until as long as two weeks after recovery.

There is no vaccine to prevent norovirus infection, and there is no drug to treat it; antibiotics are ineffective.

THESE ARE THE best ways to reduce the risk of getting norovirus:

Practice good hand hygiene. Wash your hands with soap and water, especially after using the bathroom and changing diapers. Teach your children – and monitor them – to wash with soap and water for a full thirty seconds (the length of many short children’s songs). Tell them to wash heartily until they finish singing the song!

Clean and disinfect contaminated surfaces. After throwing up or having diarrhea, immediately clean surfaces by using bleach-based household cleaner as directed on the product label or a diluted bleach solution (5-25 tablespoons of household bleach per gallon of water). Never use undiluted bleach, but remember bleach is dangerous for children so use good judgement.

Remove and wash clothing and linens that may be contaminated with vomit or stool. Handle soiled items carefully to avoid spreading the virus. If available, wear rubber, disposable gloves while handling soiled clothing or linens and wash your hands after handling. Items should be washed with detergent at the maximum cycle length and machine dried.

Do not prepare food while infected or while you have symptoms of norovirus.

Anyone with knowledge of an outbreak should report it to their local health department.

Noroviruses are the most common cause of gastroenteritis in the U.S. It is estimated that each year, more than 20 million cases of gastroenteritis are caused by norovirus, but this years virus is a new strain. That means that 1 in every 15 Americans will become ill from norovirus each year.

Noroviruses can spread quickly from person to person in crowded, closed places such as long-term care facilities, day care centers, schools, hotels, hospitals, family dinners, student housing, restaurants and cruise ships.

Noroviruses are found in the stool and vomit of infected people.

People can become infected by:

Eating food or drinking liquids that are contaminated with norovirus.

Touching surfaces or objects that are contaminated with norovirus, and then placing a hand in the mouth.

Having direct contact with an infected person; for example, by exposure to the virus when caring for or when sharing food, drinks, or eating utensils with an infected person. This makes teenagers at high risk too because of growing attraction to the opposite sex, groups gathering for football games, parties, etc. BE CAREFUL!

Though most people recover – there have been about eight hundred deaths a year…prior to this new strain. Pay attention and be well! Share this information.

Ending a marriage

It isn’t easy making the actual move from marriage, to divorce. This is particularly true with children. I’ve been there, and sadly, more than once.

What qualifies any opinion from me, in part, is my background in counseling women, and working to united mind, body and spirit. I heard many true stories and they have been filed within my own mind. A second reason I feel qualified is that I have been there, and through my own failure to makes changes, and poor choices I spent many wasted years trying to fix something that couldn’t be fixed.

 

The third reason is I am a human being who actually cares. Even if I don’t know you, I don’t want anyone to suffer unnecessarily. I’ve suffered too many times to mention, and many times it just wasn’t necessary! I thank God for the strength He has given me to accept new “lives” and to move onward and upward.

Lastly, remember, this is my opinion – opinion being the primary word here. It may not be gospel for you, as we are each different, but I want to pass on the truth I know and that which been the most helpful in my life.

You can only follow your own path and find the truth for you.. I just want you to remember when you feel so emotional you could collapse, flip over to your intellect and let the emotions subside. Take a breath slowly. Do it again. We are capable of doing just that, going from emotion to intellect, and it is important. Intellect is rational. Emotions can be like a wild pony – out of control.

If you are ready for divorce, you will really know it in your heart, with four exceptions:

  1. Self-deception
  2. Justifying” your decisions
  3. A lack of courage to move forward
  4. Plain fear of retribution

When I divorced (with children) my children were 5 years old, 7 years old and 11 years

old. Admittedly my first thoughts were I COULD NOT GO ANY FURTHER IN LIFE THIS WAY. I had tried everything I knew to reconcile. I forgave, I went to counseling, I did whatever I could to make it right. My first thought was I could go no further.

My second thoughts were I knew the children would suffer because of this relationship.

I felt guilty to take their father away, but mama said, “he’s never there, he never takes a part in the work of raising the children, and he is abusive in his words, taking the disciple way over the top…not hitting, but verbally abusing,which to me,lasts far longer than hitting.

It will never be easy to quell you mind and cooly say “oh, I’m done.” It will take courage and I hope, your faith in God and prayer, to step across the line from delusion and default to reality and peace .

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

If you think your husband is verbally abusive to you, or too harsh with the children NOW, what will happen when the “children are old enough to know better”?

Do you think that your fighting with your husband is a good example to show the children a relationship?

If your husband has an addiction will he ever stop, or are you in the midst of self-deception?

Have you heard yourself say, “Well, he is the children’s father. They need a father.”

Have you ever thought you hate your husband?

The answers to these few questions should make your position and the validity of your moving towards a divorce a bit clearer. Re-read the questions and be honest with yourself.

 

If you live in fear that he will be violent, what the hell are you doing still with him?

Violence isn’t exclusive to adults. Children have been killed – “Oh, it was an accident!”

Do you want to live the rest of your life as it has been just the past year or two?

Think about it. There is help out there. THERE IS NO guarantee of time. Soon you will turn around and say, “Oh my gosh, I’ve just thrown away the last twelve years of my life….and if you do that, I will guarantee, your children will have suffered.

Is it better for them to have an abusive dad? A drunken dad? A dad that lies and cheats?

A dad that is violent? Or no “example” of a dad.

There are a world of people (men and women) who can help you. It takes a village to raise a child, and you are NOT alone!

PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE, don’t back up and let him pass YOUR LINE of demarcation over and over again, it only shows him how to manipulate you and gain more control over you. Make a decision, stick to it, and move on it, for your sake and the sakes of your children.

Allow yourself to grieve, by yourself or with other adults.  It’s not easy giving up a dream, but it it’s become a nightmare, it should be easier.  Grieve and move on.

Stand tall and be excited about a new life.  Stay positive.  GET IN THE HABIT of having no doubt it was the right decision and make a plan.  Be sure to include the children and have fun for their sake.  Also, remember to let them know, in NO WAY was this their fault.

Pray before you speak and ask God to give you the words for the little ones.

 

Albert Einstein once said: The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result. Sound familiar?

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