Stress Management Magic

Opt for Optimism

Research has shown that the majority of illnesses, including backaches, headaches, and even heart disease, can be caused or influenced by our feelings and our stress levels.

When we experience life changes-positive or negative-our bodies need time to recover.  If we have an optimistic attitude, it can help speed recover and may even keep you healthier than someone with negative attitudes.

By learning to look on the “bright side” you can help counteract the negative effects of stress and improve your overall health.

Look on the Bright Side

The classic definition of an optimist is a person who sees a glass as half full, while the pessimist sees it as half empty.

Optimists choose to feel hopeful about how they see a situation.

Optimists are positive thinkers who practice positive “self-talk”. Optimists tell themselves, “I can do it.  I will do it. ”

Surprisingly, optimism, or positive thinking, can help accomplish a surprising number of personal goals.

How to Become an Optimist

Find a role model.  Find someone who seems to make the best of any given situation.  Find out how that person maintains that attitude and copy the behavior!   Get in the habit of responding in a positive manner.  Chances are that this role model, even during difficult times, will get through the circumstance with fewer negative effects.

Practice positive self-talk.  Repetition is the mother of all learning, and the only way to change the habit of constant negativity, is by training yourself.   Tell yourself positive things for a month.  Make that brief commitment and follow through and it can change your life.  Leave out of your vocabulary negative words such as “can’t, won’t, or don’t”.

Practice positive affirmations.  Affirmations are positive, and motivating statements.  Use short “I am” statements:  “I am calm and will respond with intellect.”  “I am changing to become more positive.”  Say the affirmations out loud several times, and then imagine it happening.  You are in the process of creating new brain cells that are based on your positive thoughts and affirmations.

No one is optimistic all the time.  It just isn’t possible.  We are all human.  But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude.  When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to a happier, healthier body, mind and spirit.

Now take a deep inhalation of oxygen and think, “I am in charge of my attitude and the response to any challenge I may encounter.”

CREATE a wonderful day!

This writer began the website with the premise that I would always be truthful about handling stress. Today I’ll prove it.

I never dreamed the day would wind up like this.  It began like any other.  But one thing about life I know for sure is that you cannot count on things remaining the same, and just as you believe you “have things under control”, another stressor will come to fruition.

I have made many mistakes in this life, as we all do.  I know the majority of them and have endeavored to learn and go forth.  Apparently something triggered this and what is done, is done.

So where am I going with this?  This website is dedicated to teaching stress management techniques that work in crisis.  This “problem” is a huge crisis for me, and here is how I am handling it.

No one ever said some stress is not disastrous.  No one ever said it couldn’t break your heart – at least for a time.

The first thing I did was to allow myself to cry. The kind of cry that makes you sob long after the tears diminishes.    As a matter of fact, I am still weeping after several hours.  A good cry washes the eyes and releases all the pent up emotions that are strangling us from within.

I also stopped and used my oxygen to “settle down” and keep my body relaxed, and my mind functioning as optimally as possible.

If you are alone (and I am alone, for a time), remember there is help somewhere. I did hug my puppy. It’s proven that hugging or petting an animal is a great help to calm stress.

If you have a friend, neighbor or relative that you can share with, call them.  I said prayers.  There are also resources available to help you if you are desperate.

Call your church; look up websites for critical help.  Call local organizations that are available for counseling.

I am settled enough now to sit and write this post, and believe it-the writing has actually made me feel better.  It has made me quit crying, and settle down. It has diverted my attention to what is in front of me, and not the reality I can do nothing to change this situation right now.  I did not react and get mad.  I am slowing myself so I will be able to make rational decisions about this problem.

Go for a walk.  You can workout at the gym.  Diversion can be a lifesaver.

Remember, some things in life YOU will not be able to resolve like you would desire to do so!  That’s just the way it is.

Suicide is not an option.  It’s actually rather stupid as it

really stops ANYTHING.  No healing, no life.  It leaves a legacy you probably wouldn’t want to have as people are remembering you.

Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes – they are not the answer.  They take away your true self and muddle your thoughts and reactions.

So this is the reality as it is happening to me.  You may not be able to change the scenario, but you always have a choice as to your response to it!

I am going to take a few more breaths, close for today, and simply say, YOU CAN HANDLE whatever comes up as a stress factor.  I am.

You are not alone either.  If you need to do what I am doing by writing, drop me an email and I will respond with the best help I can share!

Burnout is a term we hear often.  ANYONE can suffer from burnout! It is when you feel seriously stressed and simply believe you may not be able to cope one more minute.

BUT BURNOUT CAN BE AVOIDED.

As with most behaviors, when you learn how to recognize the problem, the causes and symptoms, and ways you can change your environment to reduce stressful situations, you will find you can “manage stress” much more effectively, and probably not burnout at all!

Burnout most often occurs in people who feel that they are overworked and unappreciated.  They become disappointed and sometimes very cynical.  They may also feel guilty and ashamed, and may secretly blame themselves.

Signs a burnout can be near include exhaustion (both mental and physical); hopelessness and helplessness; low self-esteem and low spirit, and perhaps more frequent illness.

Burnout often occurs in professionals that “help”, such as nursing or teaching.  But anyone who feels very pressured, or even bored from work can suffer from burnout.

The first step towards recovery from any stress related concern is to define the problem.  Is the situation itself stressful?  Is the problem just some small matter that triggers these feelings?  Is there something about your situation you can change?

Nurses as an example again, particularly those who care for terminally ill patients, can be prime candidates for burnout.  However, by accepting that the scenario itself is stressful, they can reduce feelings of guilt and resentment.

Make Changes

Changes in both you and your environment can help prevent burnout.  You must let your emotional response take a step back, and let your intellect analyze the situation.  You may have more ability to change your environment than you think. Try to think in positive terms to follow with positive actions.

If a lack of appreciation on the job is damaging your morale, take charge.  Your environment will change as you develop skills to communicate and voice a calm and intelligent opinion about matters to either superiors or your peers. Share your feelings and listen to others.  This is simple and yet can have awe-inspiring results.

When you ignore your needs (both physical and mental) during a period of constant or severe distress, burnout is surely going to be a result.  You must take time to recover and heal from burnout if it strikes.  It can ignite a series of other physical ailments if ignored.

Use and develop skills such as risk-taking, reaching out to friends and family, and talking with others in similar circumstances.

Ask someone your respect to look at your situation and suggest solutions.  Use this change to make burnout a first step toward greater satisfaction.

Above all, before any response, use your oxygen to calm and regenerate you.  Always breathing in slowly, visualize it helping your intellect and your muscles relax.  Then exhale slowly, visualizing all the negativity flying out the fingertips, and making way for positive responses.

Why not practice right now with a few thoughtful breaths.  It will help you right away!  Believe it.  Scientists are now proving “the ability of mere thought to alter the physical structure and function of gray matter.”  It certainly can’t hurt!

If you think you are stressed out, look around you!  You can see it on the faces of your family and friends.   You can see how the pressure of putting twenty things to juggle in the hands of a peer at work affects them.  You can hear it in their voices.

You can see the worry by the deep creases in their brows.  You can hear it in the voice of a mother who yells at her child, not to be mean, but because she is tired, and is feeling pressure mounting and tension building.

Notice the disgruntled worker who looses it and flies into a violent rage. His stress is revealed through the explosion manifested from the implosion that took an outward reaction to stress.  They too are on the verge of exhaustion, and could be creating high blood pressure and a potential heart attack!

Don’t say it doesn’t matter how other people feel, because the truth is, it does.  Where there is stress there is disharmony, discomfort, and danger lurking in every corner.

You can be a key factor in changing things if you begin with you!

So how do we work out of these scenarios?  We learn to REALLY manage stress, and REALLY relax!  I don’t mean the kind of relaxation that is poured into a glass, or the kind that you feel when you smoke a cigarette or have a food binge session.  Those things are NOT really relaxing!  Trust me.

Sit back a bit and straighten up and take a nice slow breath in through the nose. Think about it moving throughout your head, giving your brain optimal oxygen.  Then exhale slowly.

With just that simple exercise, you have honestly improved your mind, your energy, and relaxed yourself at the same time.  Does this sound too good to be true? Not even!  It is the physiology of the human body to react in those ways without you even knowing.  But you will if you practice.

Remember the axiom, a Latin proverb, “repetition is the mother of all learning”.  We encourage our children to practice whatever task they are trying to accomplish, so we need to keep that in mind when it comes to ourselves.

You will only your best self if you treat yourself as you would a friend!

With each practice of just this breathing, you are creating new brain cells, and enhancing your life.  Your blood pressure will drop, and your muscles and ligaments and tendons will stay relaxed and flexible.

Do it once an hour.  Are you worth it?  Are you worth taking twenty to thirty seconds every hour to manage your stress and improve your life?  I think you are!

Actually these two “techniques” have been around for decades, but the reason you probably don’t often think of them as something that will manage stress, is that you may not realize the power these two techniques will present to you when practiced.

They may not seem like something that will really help manage your stress – but they do!

Simply written, these are the techniques.

1.  Forgive.

2.  Count your blessings.

Don’t stop reading and scoff, thinking “Oh sure…this won’t work.”   This is the truth; the magic of doing these two things, if you are sincere in heart, will astound you.

Beginning with forgiveness, you must open your mind enough to realize that whatever is still burning you with anger, and holding you from forgiving, whether it directed to a person or situation, is a huge stressor.

The power within you is endless, but you must begin to develop your receptivity of this power by growing in understanding and practicing changing your mind about a few things.  You must be willing to believe that two small techniques can be life changing.  The statistics are in.  Results have been proven.

To forgive you must be able to step out of the prison you have built around you and outgrow old tendencies to “to hold grudges” against your fellow human beings, and life itself

In doing this you will release a mountain of negative thoughts and feelings.  Old emotions that are pent up and that make you feel terrible, will be gone!  There will be a burden lifted from you.  Let someone else JUDGE what has happened…the people involved, or the scenario.

You don’t have to hang out with people you forgive. You just need to forgive them.  They are human, and so are you.  Personally I’ve made a million mistakes in my life, so I find it easy to forgive when I think of that.

Even “big forgiveness” for major wrongs is possible.  You see, the only person who suffers is the person who dwells in the hell of not forgiving.

Now, when it comes to counting blessings, there are always so many blessings to count if we just take a moment and think!

We are creatures who have been given that capacity…try it.

(If you need help – find it!  YOU ARE WORTH LIFE!)

Name ten things you are grateful for right now.  Here is my list right off the bat:

1.  My children and grandchildren are okay.

2.  My husband still loves me.

3.  I can walk, run, dance, see, hear, and laugh.

4.  I have running water.

5.  Music is available for me to surround myself with and enjoy.

6.  I don’t have to kill another animal in my life to survive, or to help my children survive.

7.  I can use the internet productively and choose NOT to be a pervert.

8.  Millions of people close to me haven’t been displaced because of flooding……..

9.  I still do believe in God and Jesus Christ.

10.  My puppy loves me.

This is NOT in the order of the absolute most important ….they just came to mind in a flash!

YOU STILL HAVE CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU ARE A BREATHING HUMAN BEING.  THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS BE THE CHOICES YOU THINK YOU NEED OR WANT, BUT YOUR RESPONSE TO WHAT HAPPENS IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE.

CHOOSE WISELY AND CREATE WONDERFUL MOMENTS…THAT IS ALL WE HAVE ARE THE MOMENTS THAT ARE FLEETING.  SOMEONE REALLY CARES IN CYBERSPACE!to you, when used and practiced. .

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Also you can – Try yoga – Check out stress management classes on line – Take a breath and release old burdens and take in new thoughts – Pray -Talk to friends – Find a support group.

We  ALL do it once in a while!

Once in a while it really is okay to cry.  Even if you are a guy sometimes it may be one of the only ways you find to release stress from within.

We often hide anxiety, concerns about finances, thoughts of injustice, resentments, or feelings of inadequacy.  We go on and on with these feelings, and others, building up inside of us.

This website will always honestly face the same challenging scenarios that face us all at one time or another.  Our resolve will be carried out together, realistically.

This morning I realized that I had allowed some emotions to be pent up inside of me.  I really didn’t know it consciously, but when this particular person was accusing and negative towards me, wrongfully, I felt, I went to a personal space and burst into tears.

If you’ve ever cried like a child, you can visualize my mix of flowing tears and sobbing sounds.  It was as if the dam inside had burst and came roaring out of me.

I allowed myself to cry until the tears stopped and I was left only with that sighing that can’t be helped after crying hard.  It felt good to release all those thoughts that were pent up inside about this particular person.  I felt somehow cleansed of the hurt, and I know for sure my eyes got a good cleansing.

With that release of stress out of the way, I was able to modify intrusive thoughts that were based strictly on emotion, but without that fine mix of intellect we need to face our challenges.

I began to breathe calmly and mindfully, as we can do right now.  Inhale through the nose and visualize your mind and body calming because it is receiving excellent oxygen.

Exhale through the mouth visualize this to be the “house-cleaning” of negativity and wasted worry.  Repeat the inhalation slowly, as I too am doing, and then exhale again slowly.

Just a few mindful breaths throughout the day can be one of the simplest and most important techniques in managing stress.

Allow you to bawl loudly or even just weep quietly once in a while.  There is no shame in it, and it can be a very healthy release of pent up emotions.

I feel really ready to tackle the day’s challenges now, and hope you do too!

Often we are hit with so much at one time we may think we just can’t handle it. The secret is, WE CAN!  We have to if we are on a mission to accomplish our goals, whether at work or at home.

I will say what I’ve said in class so many times.  STOP for a minute or two. Take a slow and mindful breath to energize you mind and body. Your exhalation makes room for more healing oxygen.  It is also the time to think, “I am exhaling and pushing self-defeating thoughts out with the carbon dioxide.”

Slow down for 30 seconds and pull yourself together. We have been given a great natural instinct from within, to help us find an answer, or at least find a resolve to what seems to be unbelievable circumstances that surround us.  We just must slow down.

Change the subject. Divert your own attention to something else momentarily. Take another mindful breath!

What is the worst that can happen? If you can fathom handling that, you can handle anything. If you think you can’t, then think again! Life is tough, but we have within our minds, the tools and power to rise above the obstacles.

Stop listening to all the negative things that include the words: I can’t, I won’t, I won’t be able to, I give up, I quit, etc. Never give up.

Just when you think you can’t handle everything – everything will change. Give it a bit of time.

Ninety percent of what we waste our lives worrying about never comes to fruition.  STOP wasting your life on “worry and doubt”

The worry doesn’t do anything except hurt you and all those around you. Instead, handle anything that crosses your path. Never give up or give in!  If I sound like a cheerleader I probably am.  I know you can alleviate so much unnecessary stress by just controlling your thoughts, hence, actions.

Now take a breath and relax! It will all be okay.  If you feel you need help – take the time to seek it out.  There are classes, on line help, counselors, and so much more available.  YOU ARE WORTH it!

THEN READ ON MY FRIENDS! I have specialized in this work for over twenty years,  but I I STILL HAVE STRESS to contend with quite FREQUENTLY!

Don’t misunderstand this statement. Stress will be your partner all your life.  But the good news is that if you “practice stress management”, it will not destroy you physically and emotionally.

Stress need not be debilitating.  I only allow it to encompass my being for minutes.  I use the empowerment of breathing as my immediate secret weapon. Next I make (and in the beginning it took practice) my mind switch from emotion to intellect, during which time I take a breath again. This very moment is the perfect one to do it. You might as well too! J Be selfish and take two deep breaths and deep exhalations too.’

Release all the troubles and draw in positive expectations.  It you habitually do this, I mean throughout the day wherever you are, you will begin to feel better almost immediately.

It would be instinctive to tell a friend who was drowning in stress, “Relax.  It will be okay.  Take a breath.  Slow down.”

Think about it. J We have natural gifts that can really help us manage any stress. They are offered to us all, for free.  Now pretend you are your friend and love yourself that much!

Your performance in any task requires a confident and relaxed state of mind.  It is attainable, but ONLY if you challenge yourself to find out if what I say is true or not.

I guarantee it is!

Simply the diversion from the stress to thinking about and performing the simplest of breathing exercises will really help!

Some stress is positive, such as wedding preparations, the birth of a child, or graduation.

Some stress can be absolutely disheartening.  A death in the family, divorce, financial disaster, or fighting with someone you love.  All of these require a dedicated and habitual offering to your brain to exercise thoughts, your breath, and then your actions will be responding intelligently, and not just reacting.

Here’s a thought to ponder.  Every single individual in the world wakes up with challenges and not knowing what life will bring from moment to moment.

We think we’d like to know the future, and make plans for what to do in our lives.  But here’s the thing: the only for sure plan you can make for your life is to be flexible and be prepared to be surprised.

Dedicate a few minutes during your workday each hour to

breathing and clear the negative away.  When stuck in traffic think about something lovely and take a breath. When you do mindful breathing you are relaxing and regenerating simultaneously – and if you don’t think that is true – you don’t know the workings of the body you are living in.  It will work (even if it feels like it isn’t at first).

If you are honorable to your goal of seeking stress management this simple practice is the first step to that goal.  Remember also to make the journey a happy challenge and use your moments well.   Time is fleeting.

Our human body is truly magical.  In many instances,  it can be self-healing, if we only take the time to learn some basic facts.

For instance, did you know that a complex part of our brain called the autonomic nervous system prepares our body when stress enters a scenario?

You’ve probably heard of it.  It’s called the “fight or flight” response.  You’ve probably experienced it.  Most humans have experienced it and some, people many times.

Here is the magical part.  Without you even realizing it your body prepares for danger by slowing digestion so that blood may be directed to the muscles and the brain.  In the face of potential danger it is more important to be alert and strong than for food to digest.  It’s automatic!

Your breathing gets faster to supply more oxygen for the muscles.  The heart speeds up; blood pressure soars and forces blood to part of the body that needs it.  (Remember your heart beginning to pound faster when you are stressed?)

Perspiration increases to cool the body.  This allows you to burn more energy.  Muscles tense and prepare for action.  All this is done automatically!

Chemicals are released to make your blood clot more rapidly.  If you are injured this clotting can reduce blood loss.  Sugars and fats pour into the blood to provide fuel for quick energy.

This “body magic” is done automatically for you when stress enters, when you are injured, or fearful.  The reaction can be invaluable for survival in critical situations.

The problem that can occur with this automatic magic is that if it happens too often, it can take a serious toll on your body, mind, and your spirit!  You don’t want to “wear out” your body before it’s time!

This is one of the important reasons to learn to recognize and manage stress.  It will put you in charge of your own life, and you will learn other methods to address the majority of stressors.

BEGIN NOW by taking in a deep inhalation through the nose. Visualize it traveling to your brain and through your body.   Now exhale through the mouth slowly. When you inhale remember that when you keep breathing in a stressful situation, you are empowering yourself.  You will stay more relaxed, think optimally, and give yourself a chance to respond instead of reacting to a circumstance. You will keep the body from automatically going into “fight or flight” unnecessarily.

Take another mindful breath.  Hold it a few seconds, and now exhale.  When you exhale remember it is a mind housekeeping tactic to visualize all the negativity flying from your mouth into oblivion (also clearing the carbon dioxide to make room for more oxygen.)

You can learn through, exercising your mind, to slow your breathing, calm your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and relax those muscles, which in turn will allow you to make the best choices possible for the scenario you face.

Please inhale slowly and deeply.  Hold it a few more seconds, and now exhale through the mouth.  Use this secret weapon whenever needed. It’s readily available, the only cost is your thought process, and it WORKS beautifully!

No matter what the circumstance, you always have a choice how to respond.  Use your oxygen before speaking and it will enable you to respond intellectually instead of simply emotionally.  A fine mix of the two will offer any scenario a better result.

Create a wonderful day.

There are many outstanding websites dedicated to introduce readers to the “why” of stress, it’s causes, and the management of it.  Each has a quantity of excellent information, and the majority of it is credible information. This is an amazing gift.

Stress Management Magic is unique, however, because our goal is to address specific and current challenges we all face in the area of stress management – not tomorrow – but today!

We teach techniques and work with you right online to begin to learn to change your life to one of peace and happiness amidst all the turmoil of 2010.

The time to begin learning to manage stress is not when you can squeeze in a day to think about it.  It is not when you can afford go to a class to practice or pay for a personal trainer. The time is NOW.

Begin now, and with our guidance, within a few short weeks, and perhaps sooner, if you will dedicate small increments of time throughout the day, you will find your world changing.

We offer food for thought on how to handle stressors such as anger, depression, divorce, loss of employment, financial challenges, and aging

We offer tips on improving relationships, managing stress at work, and dealing with a myriad of stress inducing scenarios.

Through posts we work on improving your child/parent relationship, communication skills, and on even improving your own health.

Our goal is simple.  We want you to learn techniques you can use anywhere and anytime.  WHY?  Because, we all have a right to be happy and at peace, and teaching the basic’s should NOT cost a penny!  You have a right as a human being to know how to use innate gifts for your benefit.

If then you choose to join a meditation class, a yoga class, another stress management program, or any other method to “enhance” what you’ve learned here, then bravo!

LET’S GET STARTED!

Take a slow breath in through the nose.  Your additional oxygen will relax and regenerate you simultaneously.  That is how the body works.

Exhale through the mouth, clearing carbon dioxide and making room for more oxygen.

Again, inhale slowly (think: I am feeling better).  Exhale  slowly (think:  I release my negative feelings).

Inhale slowly – exhale slowly.

Do this mindful breathing two or three times. ANY time of day when you feel stress beginning to mount, slow it down by doing this breathing.  Whether you think it will help or not – do it!  You are an oxygen machine, and this is the way the body works. You increase stress by not giving muscles, ligaments, and tendons needed oxygen.  Your brain needs fifty percent more oxygen to think optimally.

If you dareJ……..Push back the chair, and stand up for a moment.  Stretch your arms up to the ceiling and take a breath.  The natural response to a stressful situation is to hold our breaths.  This increases our anxiety as we are oxygen machines and need to breathe!  (You are not ignoring your job:  you are refining your intellect and maintaining a relaxed demeanor to do a better job!

Twist your body a bit.  Lift each leg and rotate your ankle in a few circles.   Wiggle your toes.  Stretch your fingers out and then crunch them together.  Now take another deep inhalation and exhalation.

If peers or family give you a strange inquiring look, just let them know you are taking a mini-management minute to improve your performance and regenerate a bit.  It does work.

When you resume your position, just before beginning the task before you, take another deep breath and give yourself a mental pat on the back.

It’s your life, your body, and your right to keep it finely tuned!  Onward and upward.