Once in a while it really is okay to cry.  Even if you are a guy sometimes it may be one of the only ways you find to release stress from within.

We often hide anxiety, concerns about finances, thoughts of injustice, resentments, or feelings of inadequacy.  We go on and on with these feelings, and others, building up inside of us.

This website will always honestly face the same challenging scenarios that face us all at one time or another.  Our resolve will be carried out together, realistically.

This morning I realized that I had allowed some emotions to be pent up inside of me.  I really didn’t know it consciously, but when this particular person was accusing and negative towards me, wrongfully, I felt, I went to a personal space and burst into tears.

If you’ve ever cried like a child, you can visualize my mix of flowing tears and sobbing sounds.  It was as if the dam inside had burst and came roaring out of me.

I allowed myself to cry until the tears stopped and I was left only with that sighing that can’t be helped after crying hard.  It felt good to release all those thoughts that were pent up inside about this particular person.  I felt somehow cleansed of the hurt, and I know for sure my eyes got a good cleansing.

With that release of stress out of the way, I was able to modify intrusive thoughts that were based strictly on emotion, but without that fine mix of intellect we need to face our challenges.

I began to breathe calmly and mindfully, as we can do right now.  Inhale through the nose and visualize your mind and body calming because it is receiving excellent oxygen.

Exhale through the mouth visualize this to be the “house-cleaning” of negativity and wasted worry.  Repeat the inhalation slowly, as I too am doing, and then exhale again slowly.

Just a few mindful breaths throughout the day can be one of the simplest and most important techniques in managing stress.

Allow you to bawl loudly or even just weep quietly once in a while.  There is no shame in it, and it can be a very healthy release of pent up emotions.

I feel really ready to tackle the day’s challenges now, and hope you do too!

Every one of those trials you’ve faced seemed life shattering.  But they are not unless you give power to them.

The past is the past.  Begin again.  Take a few more slow and deep breaths and SMILE.  Loose the fear and forge a head with great expectancy of the present and future!

“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good thought and actions.  Men understand this in the natural world (nothing can come from corn except corn) – but few unterstand it is in the mental and moral world.”

James Allen

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Because you acquire fresh knowledge intellectually doesn’t mean it will change your life or your soul.  Knowledge not put into practice is dormant; suspended in time until put into use.

Inhale slowly through the nose.  Exhale.  This is a gift.  You are an oxygen machine and can enhance your life, relax your body, and manage your stress much more effectively if you just remember to stop and take a breath when you are overwhelmed.  Take in several mindful breaths, recognizing that in order for you to move forward intellectually, you need oxygen for your brain.  Panic and stress cause us to slow our breathing!

PRACTICE this one technique for stress management every time you feel you cannot go any further.  Believe management will happen.  The body responds to your “input”, and to your thoughts.  Make it happen! Create a beautiful day as moments of your life will accelerate.  Use each one with positive thoughts – those thoughts become your life.

Stress “Unmanaged” Will cause violence in a staggering number of people. It is almost inevitable!

Whether we choose to believe it or not, stress unmanaged will ultimately cause violence in many people.  Domestic violence, abuse towards children, intimate partners, (regardless of gender) and the elderly is on the rise.

Stress unmanaged can change of the body chemistry and can do can do infinite damage to credible brain function management. Anger causes words to cut to the heart, and actions to damage the recipient for his or her entire life in many circumstances.

Don’t be fooled.  Don’t be naïve.

There is a boiling point for water and for human emotions.  Whether the water stays in the pot or boils over, ultimately that, which is in the circumference of the pot, can be damaged or ruined entirely. .

Such is it with human behavior. Consequences of unmanaged stresses inflict suffering and can be life threatening.

Family conflicts are usually the result of stresses created in dysfunctional families.  Low levels of family conflict are warning signs for families that they are at risk of much greater abuse.  Any family member may intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the escalation of violence.

Stress is often created by feelings of hopelessness and or helplessness.  Other things that add to that could be excessive work hours, financial strain, and alcohol or drug abuse.

Personality disorders and/or early traumatic life experiences often predispose people to use violence in their own family relationships as adults.

Arguments created by stress can escalate.  Spontaneous arguments can lead to threats or actual physical assaults…without specific patterns, but they almost invariably escalate to more serious and injurious physical assaults.

We like to think “things” will resolve, or time will pass to “make it better”. For those individuals with particular personality traits or particular body chemistry, the danger lurks in close proximity to all who are near.

If YOU or someone near you is within the perimeters of this description, do something! Whether it be finding counsel (and if it is for YOU – please – do it now!) or just talking with family to consider action.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY>not just for the individual, but also for all who may tread in the same path, either by coincidence, or choice.

It YOU one of the people referred to in the paragraphs above, PLEASE take a slow breathe now in though the nose.  Now exhale slowly through the mouth.  Please do it again several times.

The added oxygen will calm you and help you to think more rationally, and remember, you have already taken the first step towards helping yourself by searching the Internet!  Don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  Connect with someone – perhaps a local group that deals with anger management.  Take time for yourself – you can’t afford not to do so!

If you are totally overwhelmed and need help and don’t know who to turn to you can email:  mo@jett.net.You are not alone.

Well they don’t.  We’ve all had pity parties.Many are justified, but they can’t continue you will suffer the consequences.If you make a list of “your bad things” and compare them with someone else’s you are sure to find many people have it worse than you do.  Think about it.

If that thought doesn’t mean much to you because it’s not “you”, then think about this:  you need to rethink what is happening, and respond to it with intellect and calm – for you!.

No matter what happens to you, there is always a different way to see things. The truth is bad things happen to good people.  Every human on this planet has endured at least one crisis, and many people, more than a few of them.

You may not deserve one bad thing to happen to you, but things do happen, and what happens – happens!  The only choice you have is to broaden your perspective, and focus on learning from the incidents, and moving forward.

You may find that years down the road, your life changed for the better because of a specific past trauma.  Your character has been honed and your wisdom too.

If you succumb to today’s trials you’re done!  Even if you haven’t been able to find, to date, the “good” from the past you’ve endured, you will recognize it when it is time.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in!  When something triggers potential negatively charged emotions, take a breath!  If you are new to “the magic”, prior posts tell you how to begin to breathe and manage different stresses in your life.

What you “feel” about circumstances evolve into your life.  The power of thought, when rightly directed, is the key to it all. You will draw all the injury, all the anger, and all the fear to you like a magnet.

Likewise, if you think forgiveness, love, appreciation and hope,

you will draw all the joy and positive thoughts from the world to you.  This will trigger a pattern of blossoming in you.

Negative or positive thoughts, they are probably sparked with the same triggers, simply different interpretations.

Right thought holds the key to every situation. Be regenerated and transformed by your thoughts.  Today is the day.

Choose to create your reality.

How to prepare

This is a difficult subject, so why not just take a deep breath in through your nose, and exhale through your mouth.  Doing a bit of mindful breathing will aid any circumstance by helping you to keep your muscles relaxed, and your mind sharp. Please do it again.

Almost every human being will endure, at least one time in his or her life, the loss of a loved one. Death comes to us all.  It is the natural progression of human life, and is just a matter of time.

Most people will also experience at least one serious family dispute. These are two major stresses. There is a correlation between the two.

When death occurs there will be stages of grief that you go through.  The stages include denial, guilt, anger, bargaining with a higher power, depression, and finally becoming more functional in accepting the reality of it all.

The time for each stage will depend on the awareness each individual has, and as with any stress, the work the individual is willing to do, to begin the healing.

Many fine websites and books discuss these stages in depth.

However, when you are experiencing the scenario, it may not seem like the time to study.  Here is what you can do prior to the death of a loved one:  be aware of the stages you will go through.  Learn about each one and consider your work to be invaluable for the future.  It will be.

Plant a seed of “knowing” that it will happen at some point, and be prepared with knowledge.  If you are caring for an elderly family member, or all close to someone with a terminal illness, it is important to talk with them about death. Often the discussion is avoided because it seems too difficult.

Think about the person it’s happening to.  They need to talk about it.  Talking about any stress helps to relieve it to a point, and this one is particularly important to address.

When the event of loss occurs your first thought should be to breathe.  It is a gift and will help you to stabilize and it will also help calm you for the coming events of saying goodbye, notifying everyone, and preparing for the funeral / burial.

You cannot think of two things at once so concentrate on mindful breathing for a few moments initially.  The brain and the body need it desperately at these moments.

Allow tears.  After the initial shock, try to switch from your emotions to your intellect; there will be people to contact and arrangements to make.

Focus and engage the help of those near you.  Mourning is less traumatic if you can share it with others.

During all the time after the death of someone you love, all the stages of grief, remember to empower your decisions with substantial oxygen.  Remember the suffering for those lost is over.

This touches only lightly on the subject.  Continue your search for help in handling all you need to know to survive optimally. You will get through it

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The correlation of death and serious family disputes is this:

When you are alienated from family or friends because of a disastrous event, or a series of events, it equates to “the loss of a loved one”.

Hostility between family members can be devastating.  You may be able to reconcile and work out your differences, but if you can’t, it can paralyze you for a time.

The first reaction should be to STOP; empower yourself with oxygen. If you don’t breathe, and most trauma causes shallow breathing, muscles and ligaments tighten, and your intellect to diminish.

If you can find a resolve to the problem, be the first to opt for peace and discussion.  If you see no possibility of it happening, then you must accept what you cannot change.

Worrying about it or trying to change what is impossible is simply a waste of your life.  Acceptance may be your only option.

As with the death of a loved one, the loss of communication with a family member can cause similar stages of grief.  This isn’t happy news, but it is reality.  You cannot move forward if you are unable to accept what have no control over.

Take a breath.  Say a prayer.  Spend time with those people remain in your circle of life, and move on. There may be no other choice.

When the pain is “correctable” we are pleased.  The sensations of pain vaporize until the next time. This phenomenon is similar to what happens to women in childbirth.

Physical pain covers a vast array of types of pain.  There is stabbing pain, sharp pain, lingering pain, dull pain, and excruciating pain.

Emotional pains are more complex and actually growing into suffering.  These emotional pains will absolutely influence the whole circle of the host’s life; actually increasing physical pain, and tossing stress levels out of control, unless we deal with it. Pain grows to suffering, and often needlessly.

Each of us has learned, either from our own experience or others’ experiences, sometimes terrible and unfair things can happen to the best of us. People have experienced a nervous breakdown from unresolved emotional trauma.  Maybe you have found yourself in a similar disoriented and depressed state from experiencing emotional trauma.

Human beings have a propensity to replay over and over again in our minds what went wrong, what we could have done to stop it, and what horrible things will happen next.  We dwell in the past rather than trying to find a simple solution.

Often times we define ourselves by our emotional pain.  When we do this we suffer additional emotional pain, unnecessarily, and the stress becomes a mountain we face.

In order to “recover” from emotional trauma, it is imperative to quit maintaining the identity of the one who was or is being hurt.  Stop retelling the story (aloud or within your own mind) of how you were hurt, who hurt you, why it shouldn’t have happened, how badly you are hurt and so on and so forth.

When you quit telling the story, you immediately make the first step towards healing.   You will have released the incident that initially triggered the trauma.  Whatever it is, it is in the past now.

This moment you need to concentrate on either doing what you can to change the circumstances, or accept the fact that life has now changed, and the changes are beyond your control.

The only choice, at least the best choice, is to accept it and move forward.  Step back, take a deep breath and tell yourself, “I’m not going down that road again.”

Over one and one-half million people experience this disorder each year

Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter, but often feel much better in spring and summer, you may have seasonal affective disorder.

This disorder can cause inordinate feelings or behavior, and can compound the “stress factor”; particularly for those already feeling overwhelmed by daily stressors.

You may have normal mental health throughout the majority of the year, but SAD can affect anyone.  It is most common among people with age ranging from fifteen to fifty-five.  It is especially common for women, though men have experienced SAD too.

It is especially prevalent for those who live in areas where winter days are very short, or there are big changes in the amount of daylight in the different seasons.

Symptoms

If you have SAD, you may feel grumpy, moody, anxious, or actually sad. You may lose interest in your usual activities and eat more and crave carbohydrates such as bread and pasta, gain weight, sleep more, feel drowsy during the daytime, and/or experience a lack of energy.

Immediate Help

There will never be more immediate help to level your emotions than the use of your own oxygen!  When we suffer any of the symptoms, without thinking about it, we slow our breathing and really deprive our body of the oxygen it needs to maintain peace and find some relief.

Initially remember, if you are concentrating on your breathing, your mind will be centered on that job (breathing). The brain, as magnificent as it is, can only THINK of one thing at a time.  It will divert your attention temporarily to more positive thoughts.

As you breathe and move you create endorphins that make you “feel good”. You’ve probably heard of a “runners “high”.  That is born of use of the breath, and the movements of the body creating those feel good endorphins.

You have much more control over the way you think and the way you feel than you may know.  The magic here is that you must PERFORM and REPEAT what will ultimately transform your life.

Classical Treatments

There are many different treatments for this classic seasonal disorder.  SAD is treated with light therapy, antidepressant medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, the hormone supplement melatonin, or possibly counseling. Talk to your doctor if you are experiencing symptoms of SAD.

Though symptoms can be severe, most symptoms usually clear up.

Sudden weight loss or weight gain

Tired but can’t sleep, excessive fatigue

Speech difficulties, impatience

Headaches, repeated colds or flu

Nail biting, teeth grinding

Low or high blood sugar

Low or high blood pressure

High cholesterol or triglycerides

Ulcers and gastric disturbances

Chest pains, muscle aches

Lower back, shoulder, neck pain

Menstrual problems, hair loss

Forgetfulness, withdrawal from social life

The consequences of allowing stress to rule your life can be mentally and physically debilitating!

If you have more than two or three of these signs, and honestly feel you simply will not attempt to learn to manage by yourself, consider that it might be time for you to speak to a professional in person.  A counselor, your physician, or a specialist in this fieldt that you can speak with, eye to eye.  You do not want to ignore your symptoms any longer.

If you are willing to give it a go, then begin right now.  First, take a minute or two, and inhale through your nose slowly.  Next exhale through your mouth.  Do this several times and you will be fortifying your brain for new thoughts and optimum intellect.

Here are some tips that will get you started.

1.  Remember a sedentary lifestyle often accompanies and accelerates out of control stress.  Exercise.  Simply walking an extra ten minutes a day will suffice to get started.  Walk in place in front of the television, or standing in front of the computer.  Find a parking space further from the stores you frequent.  Walk the dog and you’ll both be happier.

2.  Quit anticipating the worst.  We have no guarantee of the very next moment and we stall our own progress with fears of impending doom.  Drop negative thinking and a negative vocabulary.  Listen to your own words and make them positive.

3.  Accept the fact, if you are in a stage of your life that feels more stressful than normal, and then start doing something about making changes.  Often the thought of change doesn’t feel as cozy and as safe as the current position you are in, but change is what you need if your stress level is out of control.

4.  Realize there are risks (physically and mentally) if you stay continually stressed out about everything.  Serious risks. Keep in mind, if you feel you’ve hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

5.  Remember to use your oxygen as a secret weapon.  Whenever you feel overwhelmed, let a bell ring in your head and think of it this way: “I will breathe in help to regenerate, relax, and respond better.  I will exhale all those thoughts that are negative and seemingly impossible at the moment.  I can begin life again this very moment.”  Your mind and body will respond and you WILL BE EMPOWERED.  Keep remembering the mind works this way and so does the physiology of the body.

6.  Lighten up on the junk food.  What you put into your body does matter.  The mind and body require nutrition to function properly.  Make sure you drink enough water to keep the system working effectively for you.

The choice is yours and yours alone. You CAN use your intellect to overcome any habitual feelings that fill you with sorrow, or anger, or empty you of any feelings at all.  It takes practice, but the effort will reap the rewards of peace and happiness. .

Again.  The choice is yours, and yours alone.  You can remain miserable and stressed out to the max.  You can infect all those around you or you can WORK at practicing new thoughts and new ways.

Take another breath and get started right now.  There is no time like the present.  Actually there is no time but the present!  Use it wisely.

STOP!  READ THIS BEFORE DOING ANYTHING ELSE

It doesn’t matter if you are buying into the “black Friday” shopping hysteria, preparing for a trip, having company, or just fighting additional traffic in the stores and on the road.  If you are reading this, you must take just three minutes to do this mini-stress management post while reading it. It may save your sanity and save the holiday.

Take a breath right now.  Exhale.  Remember, when under pressure we stop breathing (at least adequately for good thinking).  Our shallow breathing doesn’t provide what we need to kick in optimum thinking for our brain. It furthers tension as muscles and ligaments tighten.

Take another breath, a bit slower, and deeper this time. As you are inhaling, think:  I am pulling in oxygen that will help me relax and regenerate with each breath.

Now exhale slowly through the mouth repeating in your mind:  I exhale all my worries and know I am doing the best I can.

Crying children, burned pie, dust on the coffee tables, financial woes, and short tempered citizens are all potential holiday “breakers”.  Don’t let things get to you.  In the long-term scheme of things, these little irritants won’t play into your life but for a nanosecond.

Breathe and think positively. Teach your brain to create those “cell impressions” from which you can empower yourself simply through your thoughts. Ultimately, if you are consistent, your body physiology will be changed for the good.

Stretch your arms high into the air and wiggle your fingers.  Roll your wrists one way, and now the opposite direction.  Take another deep breath and exhale and release any unforgiving thoughts or hostility.  Clasp your hands and stretch to the heavens.  Now shake your hands as you bring them down.

Put aside any doubt and release any tendency to “make things work out” or to force an outcome. Open your thoughts and your life to the source of all intelligence and let go of worry.

Worry changes nothing for the better. The only thing worry does is increase in increments, and cause more worry, more problems, and affect us physically in a negative manner.

Sit with lower back pressed to the chair and shoulders down and back.  Deep breathe.  You are empowering yourself.  Exhale.  You are making room for more healing oxygen.

Bend your right ear to your right shoulder.  Hold for a moment and breathe.  Now left ear to you left shoulder.  Breathe again slowly.

Spend time on thoughts that are positive and quality and you will draw those things to you. Be mindful of your oxygen intake, and as you exhale send all those negative thoughts into oblivion.

This day is yours – CREATE a beautiful one for yourself and those around you.

THINK before you speak. Take a breath and it will spark your intellect.

Remember words are sharper than any knife and they pierce the heart.

Take THIS opportunity to tell someone you love or appreciate him or her.

Make these moments of value and the worth of your actions will ultimately come back to benefit you!  It always works… The things you think and the way you breathe!

The things that you think, and the quality of your oxygen will ultimately become your life and health.  YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF WHERE YOU GO FROM HERE.

What is past is past. The future is but a “hope for the best”.  The moments you have are now.   Make them of value to you and those around you and create beautiful moments in time.

This is why. It is just the physiology (the way in which a living organism, or body parts function) of the body we live in.  This is how it works.

When you walk, you pump up the oxygen in this oxygen machine. This is good. When we are lonely, depressed, or even in pain, somehow we seem to use less oxygen.  We may slump over, or cringe in pain, whatever the reason – it has been proven we breathe less!

As we walk we take in more oxygen and our entire body becomes better immediately. We are receiving oxygen to think optimally, more oxygen to go to injured areas to help the healing, to let the organs, muscles, ligaments, tendons, etc. get the oxygen they so need.

Also, and here is a GIANT plus: when we walk we create endorphins (they are peptides that activate the body’s opiate receptors), and they help with pain! It is a pharmacy from within you creating opium and morphine like pain medication for you.

Have you ever heard of a “runner’s high”? You don’t have to run to have that happen. Action creates those feel good feelings we all so desire. All you have to do is walk. The body creates the positive endorphins that actually make you happier!

Even if you think this can’t be true, it is. Give it a try. Also try to use your intellect by NOT crowding out the true goodness to come with negative thoughts. Use mindful breathing when you are walking and your circulation will improve and your blood pressure will even drop a bit.

“Oh, this won’t work”, and so forth. It will work. Use that intellect and help the process along by thinking “I am doing the right thing for my body and this will work.” You will also create positive brain cells! YES YOU WILL!

You do not have to be lonely, depressed, or often times in pain. This is stress management magic in action.  Divert your attention from these emotions and pay attention to moving your body.  Use the brain and body magic by walking. Be consistent. You consistently shop, work, buy groceries, clean the house, and so forth.   Consistently walk each day – even 10 minutes will help!  Even standing in front of the television walking in place will help.

This is the only body you have to live in, so please care for it.  As you move your emotions will improve to a more positive level. Magic WILL HAPPEN!

Have a wonderful day and now, if you are able, GET UP AND GO TAKE A SHORT WALK. Even if it’s just around the house or the office, whatever you can do will help.

YOU ARE WORTH IT.