Stress Management Magic

So could I!  As sobering a thought as that is for the moment, we live our lives as if we had an excess of time to toss aside.  This is NOT negative thinking.  This is stark reality.

Let us reflect on this thought.  What if you only had twenty-four hours to live?  Seriously – take a minute to think about that scenario.  If you had twenty-four hours left on this planet earth, have you thought about what you would do?

Think about it.  Take a few deeps breaths slowly, and exhale slowly. Glance away from the computer into space, a quiet, empty space…………….

Have you been able to “vacate” your concerns for a minute or two to think about how fragile your life is; that there is no guarantee how much time you have left.

If not, then shame on you.  You are either carrying too heavy a load, or you are on a path to self-destruct by self-neglect.

It does not matter how much you declare you are trying. I’ve been there with words. I declared that too, and then right back to stressing out about how to fit everything into the almighty schedule. How precious should each moment be? That choice is yours alone to decide.

We are so consumed with things to do, with worry, that we often times allow life to evaporate before our eyes.  Each moment is one of a kind.

You have to exit “yourself ” long enough to think about the next twenty-four hours.  You may not have that long……

This is not negative or taking a submissive attitude towards current events.

Plant a small seed in your mind to remind you that if you prioritize the next twenty-four hours, believing that is all you have, you MIGHT make some changes in your schedule.

Take a moment to think of why you are working so hard.  Is it JUST to pay the credit card companies, to impress all the other people working so hard with you, or to pay the utility bills or car payment?  Is it totally towards a goal in the distant future?

Have you taken the time recently to tell someone you love him or her, or appreciate simply his or her presence? Have you really stopped long enough, without lists battering your brains, to really look into your child’s eyes and talk to them without cell phone in hand?  Think of your family.

Every very single moment should be savored and cherished.  You can make every single moment count.  Stretch your thoughts beyond all those worries that may never come to fruition.

You can still accomplish many tasks, while intervening with your denial to allow yourself pure and joyous moments, and your stress level will lessen for your effort!

Never give up, and never succumb to the panic and overwhelming concerns you have about your tasks.  Your number one task is to live as if this were the last twenty-four hours you have, and prioritize what is really important to do this day!

Now take a deep breath, exhale slowly and CREATE the moments of your life, one by one!

Take a deep breath and relax!  Inhale slowly through the nose as you read this. Now exhale slowly and quietly through the mouth.  Again, inhale through the nose, thinking: “This will give me new energy and help relax my mind.”  Exhale slowly through the mouth, thinking:  “I release negative thoughts and feelings.”

Even if you are savvy to the positive and dynamic results diaphragmatic breathing will render to your mind and body, it never hurts to review WHY we consider breathing the number one stress management technique.

When you are under stress, your muscles tense, and your breathing becomes shallow and rapid.  One of the simplest, and absolutely best) ways to stop this stress response is to breathe slowly and deeply.

Most of us do not breathe deeply under normal circumstances, so it may help to review the mechanics of deep breathing and how it helps us all to relax.

Breathing Under Stress

When our prehistoric ancestors were in danger of attack, their muscles tensed and their breathing became rapid and shallow, as they prepared to run or fight.  Their high level of tension was a means of preparing their bodies for optimum performance.

Today the causes of stress are different, but the human response to it is the same. However, since we are not running or fighting, our tension has no release and our stress response builds.  One way to counteract the stress response is to learn how to breathe deeply and slowly – the opposite of how we breathe when under stress.

Parents who have taken Bradley-Lamoze Method of Natural Childbirth have already learned the value of using our oxygen to empower us.

Deep breathing is not always natural to adults.  Watch the way a baby breathes; the area beneath the chest goes in and out.  Most adults breathe from the chest.  This is shallow breathing, so less oxygen is taken in with each breath.  As a result the blood is forced to move through the system quickly so that enough oxygen gets to the brain and organs.  Higher blood pressure is a result.

Deep breathing can reverse these effects.  Take the time to practice this deep breathing each day, especially when you are under stress. You can be sitting, standing, or lying down, but it helps to wear loose, comfortable clothing.  Begin by breathing in through your nose.  Count to five and let your lower abdomen fill with air, filling from the bottom to the top.

Hold the breath for a five second count and then as you let the air out through your mouth, let the abdomen drop in the same manner – from the bottom to the top.  With practice you can add seconds o the count.  You will increase your relaxation if you imagine breathing in ocean or the forest air.  When exhaling imagine all the stress leaving with the exhalation of the carbon dioxide.

By helping you let go of tension through this breathing, you can relieve headaches, backaches, stomachaches and sleeplessness.  It releases the body’s own painkillers, called endorphins, into the system.  It allows blood pressure to return to normal, which is good for your heart.  Deep breathing can also allow held-in emotions to come to the surface, so your emotional health benefits from this breathing too.

The really beautiful thing about this stress management technique is that (to date) you can get your supply for free.  It is also available any time and any place you need to use it.

So go ahead – take a deep breath in through the nose, hold it for five seconds – press the exhalation out through your lips, and have a better day knowing, you can help yourself instantly!  Stress reduction is possible.  Meditate.  Join a class.  Participate in managing stress by developing your breathing skills.  Always available – guaranteed success.  Be involved with your own life!  No one can begin today if you aren’t willing!  CREATE your life!

TENSION creates a “Stress Triangle”  Neck – Head – Shoulders

When you are stuck in traffic you can feel the tension rising.

The kids are arguing and it’s getting irritating.

Work has been unusually hard and your peers haven’t helped.

These are just a few of the tension scenarios that can cause your shoulders to be tense, your neck to ache, your head to feel as if it is going to blow off your neck.  These three areas are the places where we hold much of our tension-the “stress triangle”, a phrase coined elsewhere, but absolutely correct.

Learning to release the tension in these muscles can really help us relax and de-stress.

Find the areas in need of help

If you place your right hand on your left shoulder, and move your fingers halfway in toward your neck, you are at one point of the triangle.  The second point is the same place off your right shoulder.  The third point is on your forehead, between your eyes.

Why tense muscles hurt

Muscles tighten to protect you!  That’s right.  We are talking about the muscles preparing for the “fight or flight” scenario.

But you don’t need that protection for everyday stresses.  When your muscle shortens, and then holds that position, waste products from muscle activity get trapped (metabolites).  This causes pain.  The pain is released when the muscle regains its natural length by relaxing.

Stretch away tension – TRY IT RIGHT NOW!

The following simple stretches can help relieve tightness in your “stress triangle.”  Always remember when you do these stretches that mindful breathing aids in the relaxation process.

1.  Neck roll.  Stretch your right ear to you right shoulder, keeping your left shoulder pulled down.  Roll you head down so you chin is on your chest.  Continue on to your left side.  Do rolls from side to side.  Begin with eight, build up to sixteen.

2.  Shoulder shrug.  Using one shoulder at a time, draw big circles.  Do two or three to start, and build up to eight times, going forward, then back.

3.  Pick Fruit.  With one hand, reach up as if you are picking fruit from an apple tree slightly ahead and far above you.  Go from one arm to the other, building up to eight times on each side.

4.  Self-massage.  Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder, and your left hand to massage your right shoulder.

Work your fingers gently, but firmly, beginning with your shoulder blade and moving up toward the neck. Include the scalp in this mini-massage.  Use your oxygen to help the relaxation.

5.  Standing body roll.  Let your head roll forward until your chin is on your chest.  Keep rolling down as your knees begin to bend.  When your hands are hanging near your knees, rest there a moment and slowly roll back up.  Work up to ten times.

A welcome release of tension

At home, at work, or wherever you are, just take a few moments to do one or all of these simple stretches.  Use them once an hour if you feel tension mounting.  After doing these a few times, and comparing the different feeling of tense muscles verses relaxed muscles, you will absolutely feel like it’s well worth it for a few minutes of your time.  You will feel better and prevent tension from building up in your body

Don’t forget to use your oxygen as an additional aid to your relaxation and management of stress. You will like the results!

You now have secret weapons of “oxygen savvy” and “simple movements” to enhance your day – every hour, if you choose!  Improve work, and your family life.

Get in the habit of caring for YOU and CREATE an awesome day.  The power to help YOU begins with one exercise. Exercise your mind with these simple beginnings.

*Don’t forget to enter our contest.  It’s easy, free, and has some great prizes! *

Just CLICK on “contest” in upper left-hand corner…and have fun!

Anger is defined as strong emotions:  wrath, aggravation, being annoyed, bothered, exasperated, furious, irritated, outraged, and antagonized.  If you are reading this there is a reason.  Please take a few slow breaths of oxygen as you continue.  Inhale slowly and exhale slowly.  You are on the right path.

The emotions, INCLUDING “a sense of injury” and a desire to retaliate, (which are sometimes disguised, even to the individual who is angry) can be dangerous emotions.   You can be almost out of control.  It happens to millions of people. However, if anger is left unmanaged, the anger can escalate to violence, and the loss of control for one moment, has the potential to destroy your life and perhaps someone else’s!  This is not an exaggeration. Statistics are a witness to acts of violence and the consequences paid.

If you feel your anger is tipping the scales, please answer the follow questions honestly.

1.  What does anger REALLY resolve?

2.  Do you REALLY want to devastate your body chemistry?

3.  Do you REALLY have good reason to hurt family, friends, and peers?

4.  Can you think of more appropriate ways to handle the situations?

5.  Is your anger REALLY aimed at someone else, or is it yourself?

Fact: Anger does not resolve anything. When you feel angry leave the room.  Go to someplace alone and do two things.  Take for to five deep breaths slowly and exhale slowly.  This concentrating on getting increased oxygen will divert your attention from the problem, for the moment.  It actually has a calming effect on your mind and body.

Fact:  When you are angry just once in a while, though the chemicals in your body are thrown into an abnormal state, the damage is not permanent.  When you get angry all the time you actually are setting yourself up for disaster, both physically, and mentally.

Fact:  While breathing to calm down, say a short prayer, or mantra several times.  Examples:  “God please help me to calm down.” or “I feel calm now.”  Say whatever you choose to help several times.

Fact:  Your angry words can cut like a knife and ultimately are capable of destroying any relationship.  Angry words lead to angry actions.  Since we are creatures of habit, if you ALLOW this anger to control you, you are jeopardizing everyone in your circle of life – including you!  Heart attacks have happened because of this negative habit!

There are better ways to handle tough scenarios.  Take a time out for finding your intellect instead of relying on emotions.  Walk away.  Seek counseling.

Have a family meeting and set rules.  There is always a better way than “lack of self-control.”

Fact:   Think of this.  Sometimes your anger may actually be misguided frustration in handling a situation that is either out of your control, or out of the realm of you actually knowing what to do.  It happens!  Anger at one’s self can be twisted and manifest as anger to another.

If you have a child, you may have felt anger when you couldn’t locate the child for a time.  Perhaps he or she was only playing somewhere out of your sight, but by the time you discovered the child your pent up WORRY had turned into anger; actually kind of a retaliation towards the child for your discomfort.

There are reasons to be angry, but do not let the anger destroy your life and ruin the lives of the people around you.  There are men and women in prison for the rest of their lives for that moment of anger that was mismanaged.

Exercise your brain to think of a way to get out of this useless “anger pit” before you dig your way into a grave.  PRACTICE new thoughts.  Even if you don’t feel satisfied at first, you must continue to try to create more positive brain cells.  If you must, take a pillow and beat it!  Get a punching bag and use it until you are exhausted, and calmer.  Go for a run.  There are alternatives to anger.

PLEASE – IF YOU NEED HELP – AND YOU KNOW IT INNATELY – GET HELP BEFORE IT ESCALATES!  There are anger management classes, social service organizations, and many other places to seek help.  Talk to someone at a church.  There is help available.

Right now:  take in a slow, deep breath (through the nose).  Hold it a few seconds remembering this will physically help to calm you down.  Exhale (through the mouth) and visualize that anger subsiding as you get rid of the carbon dioxide.  Do this again slowly.  YOUR MIND AND BODY WILL RESPOND WITH A CALMER YOU, CAPABLE OF RESPONDING AND NOT REACTING.

Anger out of control can lead to violence.  Violence can lead to irreparable damage.  In many cases anger can, and has been a straight path to jail!  Think about it and see help now if you feel out of control rage.  PLEASE!

What is Fear?

Fear translates simply into “anticipation” of something bad happening. It is the emotion that makes you feel within that danger lurks close by, and is a threat to you, whether it be physical pain or something else.

Fear can be a positive emotion that reminds you to take care of yourself. Keep in mind, however, fear without restraint that becomes habitual, is dangerous and serves no purpose in resolving anything.

Listen to your feelings, take good care of yourself, and keep your emotions in proportion to the situation by keeping an appropriate perspective.

Being fearful of the future is pointless.  No one can know what will happen ten minutes from now, not even the very next moment.  A better approach to seeing the future would be to anticipate the good that you desire in your life and the lives of those around you.  It is a choice.

No matter what stress you are dealing with at the moment, life can change radically, and without notice. What you have feared may happen you may never see in reality.  Over ninety percent of what you fear will never come to fruition.

Do not look for things to happen.  Let them present themselves to you in their own time. It seems we often choose to be overrun by negative emotions, old limited thought patterns and fear, which gives way to negative reactions to circumstantial appearances.

Visualization

The ability to visualize with colorful and vivid images, rich imagination and detailed action are natural skills of childhood.  Somewhere along the path between childhood and becoming an adult many people are so overwhelmed with life itself, and so plummeted with “information and responsibilities” that the skills are tucked somewhere in the back of the mind.

Visualization skills can be very useful in empowering people to overcome

obstacles in their lives.  FEAR is at the forefront of the list that can be a major obstacle to progress. .  When fear is corralled you will find everything will improve.

The Whole thing Resolved

Whatever it is that keeps you hanging on to the negativity and fearful emotions – STOP IT!

STOP paying attention to the things you DON’T want in your life! Worry is simply the habit of focusing on what you do not want.

Divert your own attention to what you WANT your life to be.

Turn in the opposite direction. Turn from one course to another.  Distract, deflect, reallocate to a different purpose.

Free yourself from your prison.

You can demonstrate any kind of life you choose, but the rules of expression are this:  Build a consciousness for the thing you desire.  Then, of course, you must be will to exert the effort, (consistently), that is necessary to bring that life forth.

There is NO return policy, so it might be best to learn to manage the stress that child rearing will bring into your life!

The Plus Side

Not all of the stress that comes into your life when you begin parenting is bad, make no mistake about that, there will be memorable moments for the rest of your life.  It is the toughest job you’ll ever have; it is also the sweetest, and can be freckled with fun and laughter.

The Best Medicine

Laughter is one of the best ways to release stress and feel good.  The chemicals released in the body through laughter reduce pain and tension.  So there is probably no substitute for finding ways to have fun and to laugh with children

Children keep you young.  They remind adults of the “innocence” we all once knew. Their actions have not yet been stuffed into a rigid format, and their honest appraisal of things, as their vocabulary grows, will keep you smiling, and maybe once in a while, cringing.  It is always a “challenge”.

There is no need to be depressed or anxious.  YOU ARE UP TO THE TASK!

Physical Endurance

The physical factor about child rearing is we do get physically stronger from the day we carry that little bundle of joy home.  Carrying a child, extra groceries, diapers, baby equipment, and all the extra do-dads we get to help our children, will also mean extra carrying, extra cleaning, and extra hours filling the needs of children.

Though you may be tired initially, you will get used to the schedule. Before you know it your body will grow stronger and your resilience better.

The Magic

Help yourself AND your children to calm down and relax.  Don’t forget the children will share your stress and the way you manage it. Don’t yell and scream, or break down and cry in front of your children.  They will take it personally, and even if the incident was initiated by their actions, children’s self-esteem for a lifetime is at risk here, as they go through their childhood years. You love them and you are their guardians and mentors.

Work on preventative techniques by letting them learn the very same techniques you are working on for yourself!  Teach them to breath and stretch, and make it fun!

Hyperactive and/or impulsive children, in particular, gain the most from learning techniques that relax their minds and bodies, recognize their internal feelings, and release inner tension.

Relaxation strategies empower children with a feeling of peace and self-control.  Do breathing exercises with your younger children and they will see it as a game and having fun together.

Find a meditation or yoga class and encourage your older children to participate with you.  Many parents already know breathing techniques and the positive effects of controlled breathing through Lamaze or other natural-childbirth classes.

Controlled conscious breathing has the benefit of relaxing muscles and reducing stress.  Many believe it is useful in the management, perhaps cure of some physical ailments and disease.

Help your child to learn to take conscious, deep breaths to relax. Show him/her how to inhale deeply (preferably through the nose, but through the mouth ins fine) and slowly exhale through the mouth.

Teach you child to isolate different body parts and relax them with each slow breath inhaled.  For example, while lying on the floor, instruct the child to tighten or squeeze toes on the left foot, then relax with a deep breath.

Now tighten the left knee and upper leg, and then relax and breathe.  Proceed in this manner to the right side.  Have them then relax by breathing.  Proceed in this fashion to the lower body, to the abdomen and upper body, each arm, hand/fingers, chest, neck, jaws and face.

This is particularly helpful for children to recognize that when they are angry, stressed, or nervous (even about taking a test or performing in a school program), they will recognize the tightening of certain body parts.

If they recognize when fists clench, jaws tighten, and stomachs harden, they have power over their bodies to relax and gain control.

They can consider using their oxygen a “secret weapon” – and it is!  They can breathe deeply and “send” their breaths consciously to relax body parts.  By sending the breaths to a hand, for instance, the child can silently prompt the hand to relax the grip.  Tell the child when the body is relaxed it is easier to think and plan!

Before any “stress” the child might be facing, AND IT’S EASY TO FORGET THEY HAVE STRESSES, INCLUDING YOUR REACTIONS, they can use their secret weapon to calm themselves!  Let them know their brains need fifty percent more oxygen to think well…and the breathing will help them be calmer and wiser for tests!  It’s true.

Hence, as your children learn stress management techniques, it will help them throughout their entire lives, and it will also help you because they will be calmer and more aware of their own body powers.  Children are ripe to learn, and what could be a better gift for the children and the parents than to learn to empower themselves and find peace in this day and age.  They

will also find extra self-esteem in their accomplishments!

Lastly, remember, make it fun, and keep in mind REPETITION is the mother of all learning.  Help all the family together!

“What exactly does that mean?” you may ask.

It means simply that while you may be an expert at managing all the tasks at hand – whether it means completing a report at the office, finishing a term paper, or multi-tasking for three or four school age children, who have different directions to go, you don’t know how to manage yourself!

You may feel an overload of stress and rather overwhelmed, but you make sure everything is done to the best of your ability. The stressors mount and you pile them neatly within your mind, to deal with later, “when you have time”.

The disaster comes when a “trigger” sets of a string of emotions, in motion, and you have not yet to learned to manage you!

Negative stress is DISTRESS.  Distress causes failure.  Overworking and not coping can destroy your life.  We all experience distress from time to time, it is normal, and unavoidable part of living, but long term chronic stress is positively dangerous and can lead to severe mental and physical disability.

The good news is that you are actively seeking help or you wouldn’t be reading this post right now.  That is an excellent beginning.

Follow up with the same kind of plan you would improvise for work, or school, or the family.  Self-management is an essential skill to deal with all your psychological and physical stress.

Take the time to set you own personal goals.  Create clear goals for everything from exercise to nutrition.  Make room for a class in meditation or yoga.

Begin to take “mini-breathing” breaks throughout the day.  Just take a minute or two at your convenience, using deep inhalations and slow exhalations, fully exhaling.  As you inhale think: I am regenerating my oxygen machine.”  As you exhale think:  I am releasing negative and limiting thoughts.”

Stretch just a bit throughout the day, as well.  Simple stretches will do.  Arms overhead, hands clasp and stretching forward, gently rolling the head from shoulder to shoulder, pointing the toes and then pressing them back towards your body – any or all of these will really help keep you more relaxed.

Remember that if you fall apart you won’t be any good for anyone!  All those professional and personal dreams will fade away if you don’t care for you!

It doesn’t matter how “warm and fuzzy” you feel towards your children, when they reach pre-teen and teenage years, you will begin to feel the stress mount.

These are the times you children will begin to spread their wings and hone their skills for adulthood.  These are the times they will begin to voice strong opinions and do seemingly arrogant acts of defiance.

Remember these things come with the territory and are natural.  Many times what “appears” to be open resistance to your rules are just a natural spurt of independence, perhaps not performed as optimally you would hope for, but nonetheless, this will happen.

First in the line of defense (for your own intellect and calmness in the situation) – use your secret weapon. Begin breathing deeply and slowly and exhaling in the same manner.  This will calm you and help your brain to get the oxygen for a better response.  Being reminded of our gift of breathing is not a bad thing.  The more you are reminded, and use the gift, the more effectively you will handle the myriad of scenarios that will come.

Parents can make a huge difference in providing guidance and support for their teens.  At times it may not seem like your teen wants you around, and he or she may not all the time, but your child really does need you and knows you care.

Try to spend positive times together.  It’s impossible to love your teen too much.  Try to stay close and warm.  Remember to say, “I love you”.

Of course you have to set limits and structure.  You have to be clear in communication and let the teen know what you expect.  Rules and expectations should change throughout your child’s life, but all children need boundaries, discipline and love – and in that order.

One of the most important things is to be consistent.  Be consistent with your partner, and be consistent if you are alone.  Mixed messages can lead to frustration for parents and children.  The children need consistency to help them to learn to structure their lives.

Try to stay involved in your teen’s life.  Ask questions about school, schoolwork, and friends.  Attend your teen’s extracurricular activities.  Whether they say so or not, they NEED to know you are just as interested in them now as when they were younger.  Meet families of those teens that spend a large portion with your teens.

Explain yourself with discussion – not with yelling and abusive language.  Discuss the reasons for your rules and what consequences they may face for not following them.  Respect your teen and the teen will respect you.

TRY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT not to use HARSH discipline.  Harsh discipline includes yelling, slapping, hitting, and belittling.  If the situation is volatile, take a “break” and each of you pull yourself together and calm down for a while.  Words cut like a knife and you don’t want to regret your years down the road.  Besides, impulsive or reactive behavior just instigates a negative response from your teen and nothing will get accomplished.

Pick your arguments.  There will be many opportunities to disagree, but unless the scenario is life-threatening or really may be a danger to your child, remember they do need to do a certain amount of decision making that is positive and empowering to them.

Your teen is changing.  Physically, emotionally and cognitively, your teen is preparing for life as an adult in a difficult and trying world.  Be patient.  In the long run you will be glad you did.

Keep in mind, these youngsters are experiencing the most stress thus far in their young lives.  Try to be empathetic and remember how difficult it was!

If you need to get help, look for resources locally, and on line.

If you do these things your life and the life of your teen will be one hundred percent better!  Be on the teen’s side from an adult view, not another stumbling block in the path of their maturing.  Remember how much you loved them before this age and still do!

Take a breath and remember:” This too shall pass”.

Stress “Unmanaged” Will cause violence in a staggering number of people. It is almost inevitable!

Whether we choose to believe it or not, stress unmanaged will ultimately cause violence in many people.  Domestic violence, abuse towards children, intimate partners, (regardless of gender) and the elderly is on the rise.

Stress unmanaged can change of the body chemistry and can do can do infinite damage to credible brain function management. Anger causes words to cut to the heart, and actions to damage the recipient for his or her entire life in many circumstances.

Don’t be fooled.  Don’t be naïve.

There is a boiling point for water and for human emotions.  Whether the water stays in the pot or boils over, ultimately that, which is in the circumference of the pot, can be damaged or ruined entirely. .

Such is it with human behavior. Consequences of unmanaged stresses inflict suffering and can be life threatening.

Family conflicts are usually the result of stresses created in dysfunctional families.  Low levels of family conflict are warning signs for families that they are at risk of much greater abuse.  Any family member may intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the escalation of violence.

Stress is often created by feelings of hopelessness and or helplessness.  Other things that add to that could be excessive work hours, financial strain, and alcohol or drug abuse.

Personality disorders and/or early traumatic life experiences often predispose people to use violence in their own family relationships as adults.

Arguments created by stress can escalate.  Spontaneous arguments can lead to threats or actual physical assaults…without specific patterns, but they almost invariably escalate to more serious and injurious physical assaults.

We like to think “things” will resolve, or time will pass to “make it better”. For those individuals with particular personality traits or particular body chemistry, the danger lurks in close proximity to all who are near.

If YOU or someone near you is within the perimeters of this description, do something! Whether it be finding counsel (and if it is for YOU – please – do it now!) or just talking with family to consider action.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY>not just for the individual, but also for all who may tread in the same path, either by coincidence, or choice.

It YOU one of the people referred to in the paragraphs above, PLEASE take a slow breathe now in though the nose.  Now exhale slowly through the mouth.  Please do it again several times.

The added oxygen will calm you and help you to think more rationally, and remember, you have already taken the first step towards helping yourself by searching the Internet!  Don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  Connect with someone – perhaps a local group that deals with anger management.  Take time for yourself – you can’t afford not to do so!

If you are totally overwhelmed and need help and don’t know who to turn to you can email:  mo@jett.net.You are not alone.

The benefits we experience when pets are in close proximity to us are really not recognized fully by most of us.  There is a powerful human-animal connection that is only now being fully recognized.

There have been many workshops held on the benefits of owning pets.  There were just a few scientific papers available on the subject a few years ago, though snow studies have revealed that pets boost survival rates for coronary care unit patients. That was an eye-opening finding.

People have known the healing effect for centuries, but recently new data on the role of chemistry in the relationship has been revealed.

When a person interacts with a pet, the central nervous system releases several hormones that cause feelings of pleasure.  One hormone in particular, oxytocin, seems to play a major role in reinforcing this bond.

The hormone creates a sense of warmth, nurturing and calm.  Simply petting dogs releases the same chemical in both humans and the animals!  Researchers know this with certainty, but are not clear as to how two species can produce feelings of peace, closeness and contentment in each other.

What is clear is the fact that this bonding is very helpful in managing stress of almost any kind.

Animals (particularly dogs) give unconditional love.  It doesn’t matter if the owner yells, or is unkempt, or even doesn’t offer the best care to the animal.  All the animal wants is love and approval by their owner.  They accept their owners and companions without qualification.  An animal’s acceptance

is nonjudgmental and forgiving. They don’t play psychological games people sometimes play.  They accept you the way you are.

Pet ownership particularly helps children to learn to read body language.  The experiences children have with their pets later develop into relationships with people, and actually helps develop more empathy for others.

Children who are fortunate to have a pet learn nurturing skills, and the responsibilities that come with it. They also have in store for them lots of fun to share with a new pet.

Over eons it is well established that touch is very important for the nourishment for our spirits and minds.  Sometimes people who have been neglected find it difficult to accept touch from other humans.  The relationship with animals, simply the act of petting a dog, can create feelings of security and warmth; feelings of love without demands humans often desire.

In cases like these, having an animal to hold, hug, and touch can make a world of difference to people who would otherwise have no positive, appropriate physical contact.

Astounding cases of pet heroism and loving acts prove that the interaction between pets and humans, even just passing contacts, are healing and worthy of categorizing as important relationships in the management of stress.

Find ot for yourself and consider, if you don’t own a pet, possibly adopting one for yourself and your family.  More fun and less expensive than therapy, pet ownership can truly be a healing factor in your life.