Tag Archives: family

Got no clue of where to go from here? Then just read this short post for fun

If you cannot do what you used to do – do what you can.

A good cry washes the eyes and lets loose of sorrow withheld, to begin anew.

If you want to see trust – look in the eyes of your dog.

You cannot heal if you refuse to think you will.

Never listen to words from a man with a heart of stone.

Remember God, and He will remember you.

Stop long enough to say hello to the person standing next to you in line.  You may see an unexpected smile.

A sincere “thank you” is a gift worth more than gold to the receiver.

Did you see the full moon?  Why not?  How many do you have left in your lifetime?

A good memory needs reviewing on occasion..  A bad one should be dismissed – if the lesson was learned.

Begin to see the series of things that happen in your life not as burdens, but as challenges.

For every kind word you speak to an elderly person, your heart enlarges, and your place in eternity is more certain.

Love children, even if they are dirty and have a runny nose, and are not yours.  They are newcomers to this planet and they learn what they see and hear.  They belong to all of us.

Remember we are all human beings, all flawed, and all overburdened in one way or another. Join together as if someone is invading our homes, as if war is imminent, clasp spirits, and then pray for peace, hand to hand and heart to heart.  We are human.  We are earthlings, here to be a family, to protect the planet, and to forgive, and love one another.

Now stretch your arms up, take a breath, and smile.  CREATE a day worth living!

Always find a way to laugh and be happy.  That’s my plan, and I’m sticking to it!

 

 

 

 

Invisible injuries – Mental and Physical

Invisible injuries

We all have them.  Whether they be mental or physical, they all come with the territory of being human.

The difficult part is NO ONE on planet earth can fully understand what YOU personally may be tackling as far as these unseen or unknown challenges.  No one will ever know one hundred percent.

This is why in order to succeed in life, we must attend to our own “healing” of mind-body-and spirit, and we must forgive those who don’t GET where we are coming from.

It may be the depths of hell to us, but not even within the view of others understanding.

The reason I lay all of this on US is because I am going through those invisible injuries.

I have had a pile of them all my life (off and on) – WE ALL DO.  They are all different and all in different degrees of the need to heal.

Truth be told, NO ONE but YOU can do the healing.  I will add in (because these are MY thoughts, and this is my place to offer up my thoughts), that if you have a belief system beyond yourself, life will be leaps and bounds easier to handle and the mountains less tenuous to climb.

I am fortunate because I have faith that cannot be shaken no matter how difficult my life becomes….and truth be told again, life does not get easier….it gets harder.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you cannot have laughter, and joy, and love, and reap all the rewards we humans still have available.

The key is how you CHOOSE to respond to your own problems, and the tenderness with which you CHOOSE to have understanding and forgiveness of others.  Personally, I can NEVER hold a grudge.  Being unforgiving and judgemental festers inside you like an infected sore.  When you forgive (even if you don’t mean it at first), you begin to heal from within!  REALLY.  You release ugly and negative thoughts, and are able to use your own healing powers for yourself!

Another great way to handle stress of invisible problems is to breathe.  Get plenty of oxygen and your body will “think” better and “feel” better.  It is THE WAY of your body. Think about it.  Slow or stop breathing and what happens?  Less oxygen, less optimal thinking and healing, and ultimately death!  So is it important?  What do you think?

Lastly, I guarantee I have at least thirty to forty things going on within me physically and mentally that no one can ever understanding.  But what I realize is it is UP TO ME to handle it all.  I tried being miserable.  It sucked.  So I gave it up!

You can rise above WHATEVER it is that is aching to pull you down.  Try not to exclusively dwell on the problems.  Divert your own attention by accomplishing tasks that lay before you.  When you feel like a pity party, TAKE A BREATH – think of it like ammo and a secret weapon.  It is.  If you think this is all pie in the sky and just words –

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!

I would not waste my precious moments (and each moment is precious to me), expounding on words with no meaning.  Thoughts with no depth.

So please think about it.  Read this again, and remember:

REPITITION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LEARNING. SO PRACTICE THESE TECHNIQUES.  THEY ARE FREE AND THEY WORK!

God bless you!

This is how to have a great weekend

DON’T DRINK TOO MUCH!  If you think this is a joke – Not!What is the old saying, “Nothing like a reformed prostitute”?

Preach, preach, preach.  Wasn’t in that profession (I might be rich:), but I can relate to drinking too much and throwing away a period of time in my life that has tortured me for thirty years after.  I thought I was in control.  I thought I was just being social.  I thought I needed a drink or two to relax and be comfortable and with the crowd.  I thought a drink would take the edge off of the stress of the day.  I thought since it was legal and “pushed” there could be nothing wrong with a glass of wine at night, or a drink.  I thought, I thought, I thought.

Then I drank, I drank, I drank.  I never went to AA.  I was never a smelly drunk laying on the street with an empty bottle in my hand.

I was a “functional” drinker.  I could partake and still take care of all my responsibilities and my children and husband.  HOWEVER…..there is no such animal.  You can fool yourself, but you will not fool your children, or your family and friends.

Alcohol is a seductive and nasty drug.  It will take you down over and over again.  ”Methinketh thou protests too much” Shakespeare wrote…..you know you can handle it.  This doesn’t apply to you.

Okay – I am being brutally honest about myself because I CARE.  Brutally honest because I found, thirty years later, there were still things I did not remember because of blackouts.  I am lucky to be alive.  I am blessed.  I do not want you to go through the same hell for a drink!

I wrote this about fifteen years ago, and would like to share it with you.  REAL STRESS MANAGEMENT does not include a drink “because you need it to relax”.  That is a lie and in the long run it will take charge and it CAN ruin your life.  Think about it.  Great goals are never easy.  But from experience I can tell you – absolutely worth the effort!  God bless.

———————————————–

My Friend

You’ve been my friend for over thirty years.  Still, we teeter between love and hate.

You were with me for the good times.  You were with me when I was down or in pain.

You were my friend when I was lonely and felt I had no other friend.

You gave me courage when I felt insecure, you made me forget.

You’ve been with me to heaven’s gate and then to the gates of hell.

It seems you’ve always been near, within my reach.

 

At times I hated you, but just when I thought you were gone for good, little by little,

You subtly sneaked your way back into my life.

You’ve always had your way with me.

You, my treacherous friend sometimes made me turn into someone else, a monster.

You made me seething with hatred and anger.

You made me think I wanted to kill myself.

You stole my will.

You made me see from a perspective that was not my own.

 

You sucked the life from me and yet I found myself calling on you again and again!

You invaded every area of my life, took me up and then dropped me down again.

You usurped my energy and spirituality.

You took my creativity, my intellect, and my motivation to be me.

 

When we parted you still affected my days and nights.  I thought I needed you.

You almost killed me more than once with your reckless and distorted control.

You lure me into that altered state of consciousness, to be drunk.

To sleep the perpetual sleep, never perceiving reality.

Never to see the true shining star from within.

 

You are NO FRIEND OF MINE John Barleycorn.  You are alcohol, the devil in disguise. You and your associates will not steal my life again. I vow you will not win.

 

You are socially acceptable.  You are legal.  You are NO FRIEND OF MINE!

 

 

PAIN IS NOT THE BOSS!

Are you having a bad pain day?  Physically?  Mentally?

Join the crowd.  Believe it or not, it is RARE for any human being to make it through a week without some kind of “pain”.

PAIN:  physical or mental suffering or discomfort.  Agony, torture, ache, throb, sting, torment, hurt, twinge. Bother, effort, sadden, grieve, distress, perturb, oppress, and more…..

Whether used as a noun or a verb, pain is a word we are all too familiar with, and that is for certain.

“Is there any way to get rid of pain?” you might ask.  The answer is not a simple yes or no.  I wish it were, as it would make everyone’s lives so much easier to live.

Here is the answer we all want to hear:  YES, some pain will go away.  For instance, if you twist your ankle – within time and the right treatment and the pain will go away.  There are many instances in which pain will diminish and disappear.

Now, here is the harsh truth no one wants to hear:  some pain will never go away.  The physical pain of a wound or injury can dissipate with healing.  Down the road,  however, our human body “may” suffer residual effects from injuries early in your life.  Arthritis may affect you as you reach retirement age.  There is no guarantee either way.  You may suffer pangs of memory of the earlier injuries or wound with a weakness – or you may not!

That’s life!  No guarantees!

As far as pain from a divorce, or the pain from the agony of a bad breakup or sadness of the loss of someone you love, AGAIN, there are no guarantees how long you will suffer mentally from those incidents.

So what is the point of this post?  I can tell you from A VAST ARRAY OF BOTH PHYSICAL AND MENTAL over a lifetime, there are ways to put pain on a back burner and not on a pedestal!

USE YOUR BRAINS!  Switch from the emotion of pain to your intellect!  As I have said to a few people when they asked how I have handled all that has happened to me, I just tell them ‘I AM MENTAL!”  I am.

Not unstable, not crazy (except in a good way), but mental in the way that I learned long ago to switch from emotion to intellect, and THEN REACT to your pain.  Emotion sometimes makes us hang on to feelings that should be long gone.  And, I know from personal experience, that we humans are MUCH STRONGER and MORE CAPABLE than we usually give ourselves credit for; perhaps in some people,  it is just not knowing how much we can handle.

I am only able to spend a bit more time on this post today, but as a beginning, here are some tips to handle mental and physical pain.

1.  Use your oxygen.  When we feel any pain it is a natural response to slow or stop good breathing.  We cut off our oxygen supply that is needed to be intelligent and make the best choices.  Breathing can be your secret weapon.  If its good enough to help women through childbirth (and I’ve had three children), it surely is good enough to help all of us begin to be in charge of our PAIN.

2.  Do not believe what anybody tells you about how your pain will be terrible and forever. That is BS.  Do not be overwhelmed by anyone else’s opinion, even the “practicing physician”.

  1. Think in terms of” I can and I will” whatever – when we think we create brain cell impressions and we actually begin a path of becoming wheoever we think we are!
  2. Be realistic.  I KNOW without a doubt that I have to deal with some residual effects of a major surgery that had last May.  It is a LONG story, but because of some really careless and negligent health “professionals” I believe nerve roots were killed, and not just damaged.  Therein, I must learn to live with some changes that absolutely drove me nuts at first.  I must also live with some pain.  I have accepted it, and am moving onward and upward.

No body says it is easy to use your wits instead of falling on your emotions, but it is easier than you may think.  We are creatures of habit.  If you get into the habit of thinking and living certain ways, you can REALLY improve the quality of your life.  It may be a challenge at first, but we humans are way stronger than we can even imagine.  We are made to survive!

I do have to close to begin dinner for my hubby, but lastly I need to mention, if you believe in God, believe in the power that is available to you through prayer.  That is my greatest defender and healer.  If you don’t believe in God, then for goodness sake, say a pray to heal anyway once in a while.  It can’t hurt – right?

CREATE your life.  Create your healing.  It can be done!  Just keep thinking that you are “mental” – in a good way!  If you ever want to know my “challenges” to see where I am coming from, let me knowm and I will share at sometime.  But what is important now is HEAL, BABY, HEAL!  For yourself, for your family, and because life is just lots more fun when you are the captain of your ship.

 

 

 

 

Familiar with this word?

INCREMENTS: increase, addition, supplement, gain, augmentation.

These are but a few definitions of the word “increments”.  I am not a dictionary, but I love words, and sometimes I think the right words can be useful as well as beautiful.

I need to remember this word.  When a person is injured, or has a specific procedure to correct something, or even an emergency operation, this word is very important.

It takes only a second for one of these things to occur or begin, but it takes a vast amount of time for ANY human body to heal.  For even those who are in good health, the healing must come in increments!

I often forget that.  My mental energy level is one hundred percent, yet my healing, as any other human, takes a certain amount of time to happen.  Even with a great attitude, or a fit body, HEALING IS A PROCESS IN THE HUMAN BODY.

We are a society of instant gratification.  The human body is a living organization with perimeters that include a certain amount of time to regenerate and heal.

Of course this varies with each person; nonetheless, TIME is a major factor in healing.

My husband reminded me of that this morning.  He heard me let out a little moan (unbeknowns to me at the time) and he said, “Overdoing are we?”

I had to admit it. So now I am resting with pillows under my legs, and laptop on my tummy.  Please take time to heal properly.

A perfect example of getting NEGATIVE results from rushing is when I sprained my ankle years ago.  I had just opened a fitness studio and had no teachers hired at that point.  So merrily I taught two classes of high intensity aerobics, four days a week.  I just iced my ankle and night, and wrapped it during the day.

DUH!

Today, over thirty years later I still pay a price for being so silly.  My ankle swells fairly regularly, and it twists easily into a painful scenario.

PLEASE take your time.  YOU ONLY HAVE ONE PLACE TO LIVE, AND THAT IS YOUR BODY!  Treat it like your most precious item.  If you don’t take time for your healing, all your responsibilities and dreams will fall by the wayside with some perilious results.  YOU ARE WORTH TAKING TIME TO HEAL!

Create a beautiful day and God bless!

 

 

Walking on Eggshells?

Walking on Eggshells-You’ve Probably heard this before:

“The idiom walking on eggshells generally describes a situation in which people must tread lightly around a sensitive topic, or make every effort not to offend a volatile or hypersensitive person. Literally walking on the empty shells of eggs would require exceptional caution and self-control, similar to the feeling of avoiding conflict with an easily disturbed friend, relative or employer. Family members of active alcoholics or ragea-aholics often use this phrase to describe their careful avoidance of conflict with their loved one. The origin of the idiom is a matter of dispute, but the general consensus is that walking on eggshells came from the same place as other cautionary actions, such as walking on thin ice or broken glass. Some sources suggest that it came from an earlier idiom, “walking on eggs.” While walking on eggshells presents enough difficulty for most people, walking on the whole egg without damage would be nearly impossible. Certain politicians who took extraordinarily cautious positions on an issue were said to have the dubious ability to walk on eggs without breaking them.”                     (Excerpts from Wise Geek)

 

So there is the definition.  The way I have always heard it used is when someone is in an abusive relationship and they dodge a bullet, or an angry person, by‘walking on eggshells”.  Treading lightly, so to speak, for fear of a reprisal, whether verbal or physical.  I know many moms who back down from an angry partner for the “sake” of the children, or fear of harm from their own husband or partner.

If you have found yourself cowering, or bending over backwards to take care not to anger a sleeping giant, here is my advice.  GET HELP!  Get it now before it is too late.  If you cannot get help – at least get the hell out of the way!  I know it sounds easier than it is, but if there is that fear within you of “danger”, there should also be the word SURVIVAL come to mind.

This is not a joke, sadly.  Our culture is geared at such a fast pace right now, and the stress levels of those who are in the position of earning money – to survive – is right at the breaking point.

No matter what the media reports, things are not improving for the peasants.  Anyone who is less than he / or she needs, feels the pinch.  Last month our house payment went up eighty dollars, our utility bill was up fifty; food and other goods have steadily been rising over the past three or four years.  All the “jobs” that are reported were the holiday part-time jobs that have no benefits, and only lasted until after the “shopping season” ended.

Pressure all around, with “no vents” like a pressure cooker.  In the final act of that scene, everything blows.  SO STAY ON YOUR TOES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Remember you are the only person who can SAVE YOU!  I pray and have great faith in God, so in that sense, my life is easier than some.  When I pray, I believe the burden is lifted and handed to God, and to show my faith, I find some relaxation in the scenarios.

For those of you who believe – do pray.  Then think about your situation and if there need be changes for your safety, or the safety of your children – begin to organize a withdrawal from danger for your family.

If you do not pray, you still must evaluate the situation you are in currently, and if there are red flags for danger, begin to make an exit plan.  If you BELIEVE with all your heart that counseling or communication can literally help, by all means, initiate it.  You always have the option in the future, if times worsen, to make changes.  Just be sure NOT to place you or your children in a volatile situation.

For those who are unemployed (either short term, or long term), those who have addictions to alcohol or drugs, those who have anger management issues, the “times” are very trying.

It is fine to take these things into consideration if you opt to try to work things out.  HOWEVER, be aware if the communication stops, if there is no attempt to correct change the “danger zone” – it is time to make a change!

God bless you and those you are trying to protect from an impossible situation.  YOU have to evaluate and take steps forward soon.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  DO NOT BE IN DENIAL OR YOU MAY WIND UP A STATISTIC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAST TIPS

Here’s some pretty up front stress management techniques:

 Stop wallowing in the slop and feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something!  It’s been a rough day.  I presume it’s been a rough day for lots of people.  I would give a million dollars, if I had it, or all that I had, to be where I was last Janurary 4th and not step off the path and fall.  My life is changed forever.

 But combine that mistep with some inept doctors and here it is – a done deal.

I have accepted that.  I am adapting to all that I will never be able to do again, and now that I am six months after the surgery – I have to reappraise my goals and my own destiny.

 

 We all have choices to make.  That first piece of advice was for me too.  Waa waa I have it so rough.  Well, I do, but I also have it so good.  I have a warm bed to sleep in, and there are people that love me.  I am able to pet my dog, drive my car, and sit in the warm sunlight.  My husband accepts my disabilities and that is huge! 

 

 So with this little pep talk I will finish the thoughts of this post and get up and do something. No one can change your life except YOU.  You can be the master of your destiny, at least in response to life.  Choose well as you never know when things will change – and that you can be sure of – change.

 

 

 Second up front piece of advice.  STOP YELLING AND SCREAMING AND ARGUING.  IT IS ANNOYING, IT IS USELESS, AND IT RESOLVES NOTHING.

I find arguments heat up when alcohol is involved, so make a point of NOT fighting when drinking.  That is VERY URGENT.  Alcohol causes violence that in turn cause unforgiveable acts.

 

 It wasn’t the industralization of man that is the ruination of man.  It is the rampid and increasingly acceptable level of alcohol that is consumed by man.Besides, even without alcohol – yelling and screaming and fighting is just the biggest waste of time ever!  We could all die in the next five minutes by some horrific incident.

I am going out smiling!  Don’t waste your time, and don’t diminish someone else by screaming useless things,  you probably don’t mean, in their faces.

 

 

TAKE A TIME OUT.  Most things people fight over are VERY unimportant- many people can’t even remember why they fought in the first place.  Take a time out or walk away.  Don’t open your mouth if it’s not worthy of you!