Tag Archives: fear

Invisible injuries – Mental and Physical

Invisible injuries

We all have them.  Whether they be mental or physical, they all come with the territory of being human.

The difficult part is NO ONE on planet earth can fully understand what YOU personally may be tackling as far as these unseen or unknown challenges.  No one will ever know one hundred percent.

This is why in order to succeed in life, we must attend to our own “healing” of mind-body-and spirit, and we must forgive those who don’t GET where we are coming from.

It may be the depths of hell to us, but not even within the view of others understanding.

The reason I lay all of this on US is because I am going through those invisible injuries.

I have had a pile of them all my life (off and on) – WE ALL DO.  They are all different and all in different degrees of the need to heal.

Truth be told, NO ONE but YOU can do the healing.  I will add in (because these are MY thoughts, and this is my place to offer up my thoughts), that if you have a belief system beyond yourself, life will be leaps and bounds easier to handle and the mountains less tenuous to climb.

I am fortunate because I have faith that cannot be shaken no matter how difficult my life becomes….and truth be told again, life does not get easier….it gets harder.

BUT THAT DOES NOT MEAN you cannot have laughter, and joy, and love, and reap all the rewards we humans still have available.

The key is how you CHOOSE to respond to your own problems, and the tenderness with which you CHOOSE to have understanding and forgiveness of others.  Personally, I can NEVER hold a grudge.  Being unforgiving and judgemental festers inside you like an infected sore.  When you forgive (even if you don’t mean it at first), you begin to heal from within!  REALLY.  You release ugly and negative thoughts, and are able to use your own healing powers for yourself!

Another great way to handle stress of invisible problems is to breathe.  Get plenty of oxygen and your body will “think” better and “feel” better.  It is THE WAY of your body. Think about it.  Slow or stop breathing and what happens?  Less oxygen, less optimal thinking and healing, and ultimately death!  So is it important?  What do you think?

Lastly, I guarantee I have at least thirty to forty things going on within me physically and mentally that no one can ever understanding.  But what I realize is it is UP TO ME to handle it all.  I tried being miserable.  It sucked.  So I gave it up!

You can rise above WHATEVER it is that is aching to pull you down.  Try not to exclusively dwell on the problems.  Divert your own attention by accomplishing tasks that lay before you.  When you feel like a pity party, TAKE A BREATH – think of it like ammo and a secret weapon.  It is.  If you think this is all pie in the sky and just words –

YOU WOULD BE WRONG!

I would not waste my precious moments (and each moment is precious to me), expounding on words with no meaning.  Thoughts with no depth.

So please think about it.  Read this again, and remember:

REPITITION IS THE MOTHER OF ALL LEARNING. SO PRACTICE THESE TECHNIQUES.  THEY ARE FREE AND THEY WORK!

God bless you!

Walking on Eggshells?

Walking on Eggshells-You’ve Probably heard this before:

“The idiom walking on eggshells generally describes a situation in which people must tread lightly around a sensitive topic, or make every effort not to offend a volatile or hypersensitive person. Literally walking on the empty shells of eggs would require exceptional caution and self-control, similar to the feeling of avoiding conflict with an easily disturbed friend, relative or employer. Family members of active alcoholics or ragea-aholics often use this phrase to describe their careful avoidance of conflict with their loved one. The origin of the idiom is a matter of dispute, but the general consensus is that walking on eggshells came from the same place as other cautionary actions, such as walking on thin ice or broken glass. Some sources suggest that it came from an earlier idiom, “walking on eggs.” While walking on eggshells presents enough difficulty for most people, walking on the whole egg without damage would be nearly impossible. Certain politicians who took extraordinarily cautious positions on an issue were said to have the dubious ability to walk on eggs without breaking them.”                     (Excerpts from Wise Geek)

 

So there is the definition.  The way I have always heard it used is when someone is in an abusive relationship and they dodge a bullet, or an angry person, by‘walking on eggshells”.  Treading lightly, so to speak, for fear of a reprisal, whether verbal or physical.  I know many moms who back down from an angry partner for the “sake” of the children, or fear of harm from their own husband or partner.

If you have found yourself cowering, or bending over backwards to take care not to anger a sleeping giant, here is my advice.  GET HELP!  Get it now before it is too late.  If you cannot get help – at least get the hell out of the way!  I know it sounds easier than it is, but if there is that fear within you of “danger”, there should also be the word SURVIVAL come to mind.

This is not a joke, sadly.  Our culture is geared at such a fast pace right now, and the stress levels of those who are in the position of earning money – to survive – is right at the breaking point.

No matter what the media reports, things are not improving for the peasants.  Anyone who is less than he / or she needs, feels the pinch.  Last month our house payment went up eighty dollars, our utility bill was up fifty; food and other goods have steadily been rising over the past three or four years.  All the “jobs” that are reported were the holiday part-time jobs that have no benefits, and only lasted until after the “shopping season” ended.

Pressure all around, with “no vents” like a pressure cooker.  In the final act of that scene, everything blows.  SO STAY ON YOUR TOES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Remember you are the only person who can SAVE YOU!  I pray and have great faith in God, so in that sense, my life is easier than some.  When I pray, I believe the burden is lifted and handed to God, and to show my faith, I find some relaxation in the scenarios.

For those of you who believe – do pray.  Then think about your situation and if there need be changes for your safety, or the safety of your children – begin to organize a withdrawal from danger for your family.

If you do not pray, you still must evaluate the situation you are in currently, and if there are red flags for danger, begin to make an exit plan.  If you BELIEVE with all your heart that counseling or communication can literally help, by all means, initiate it.  You always have the option in the future, if times worsen, to make changes.  Just be sure NOT to place you or your children in a volatile situation.

For those who are unemployed (either short term, or long term), those who have addictions to alcohol or drugs, those who have anger management issues, the “times” are very trying.

It is fine to take these things into consideration if you opt to try to work things out.  HOWEVER, be aware if the communication stops, if there is no attempt to correct change the “danger zone” – it is time to make a change!

God bless you and those you are trying to protect from an impossible situation.  YOU have to evaluate and take steps forward soon.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  DO NOT BE IN DENIAL OR YOU MAY WIND UP A STATISTIC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FAST TIPS

Here’s some pretty up front stress management techniques:

 Stop wallowing in the slop and feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something!  It’s been a rough day.  I presume it’s been a rough day for lots of people.  I would give a million dollars, if I had it, or all that I had, to be where I was last Janurary 4th and not step off the path and fall.  My life is changed forever.

 But combine that mistep with some inept doctors and here it is – a done deal.

I have accepted that.  I am adapting to all that I will never be able to do again, and now that I am six months after the surgery – I have to reappraise my goals and my own destiny.

 

 We all have choices to make.  That first piece of advice was for me too.  Waa waa I have it so rough.  Well, I do, but I also have it so good.  I have a warm bed to sleep in, and there are people that love me.  I am able to pet my dog, drive my car, and sit in the warm sunlight.  My husband accepts my disabilities and that is huge! 

 

 So with this little pep talk I will finish the thoughts of this post and get up and do something. No one can change your life except YOU.  You can be the master of your destiny, at least in response to life.  Choose well as you never know when things will change – and that you can be sure of – change.

 

 

 Second up front piece of advice.  STOP YELLING AND SCREAMING AND ARGUING.  IT IS ANNOYING, IT IS USELESS, AND IT RESOLVES NOTHING.

I find arguments heat up when alcohol is involved, so make a point of NOT fighting when drinking.  That is VERY URGENT.  Alcohol causes violence that in turn cause unforgiveable acts.

 

 It wasn’t the industralization of man that is the ruination of man.  It is the rampid and increasingly acceptable level of alcohol that is consumed by man.Besides, even without alcohol – yelling and screaming and fighting is just the biggest waste of time ever!  We could all die in the next five minutes by some horrific incident.

I am going out smiling!  Don’t waste your time, and don’t diminish someone else by screaming useless things,  you probably don’t mean, in their faces.

 

 

TAKE A TIME OUT.  Most things people fight over are VERY unimportant- many people can’t even remember why they fought in the first place.  Take a time out or walk away.  Don’t open your mouth if it’s not worthy of you! 

 

Why was I sad the last post? To find out….do this

Please check out my Relax it’s Just Life blog (marshaobrien.wordpress.com.)  Rather than post the whole “sequence of events”, just go to that blog and you’ll see the reasons.

And don’t let what happened to me, happen to you or your family!  Have a beautiful day!

This is stress management magic working…..read all of the post!

I AM SO SAD

I keep passing my hand over my face as if to close the door to my sadness.

I am not mourning my old life as it is past.

I am only curious about my future, and I know there will be much work to do.

I am unable to do for anyone else now, in order to heal, and that makes me sad.

I am so sad.

I push the tears back and turn my head to watch a clock that sits squarely in front of me.

The seconds keep moving around the numbers and the hands of the clock slowly circle over and over again.

I am so sad I feel I have lost my joy for now.  I will have to pretend and be strong until God finds my heart and works on it again.

I just want to curl up in bed and cry.  Not for me.  Not for anyone else.

I just want to cry and not think.   In bed, I prayed .The flood gates opened.

I awakened and the waters have passed through.

I am no longer sad.  I am a woman in a cocoon anticipating what I will create for my new life, with God’s great help. Where I shall go from here will be a new journey of mountains and valleys.

My life is just beginning again.  I am glad I allowed myself to release the sadness.  I am glad I prayed. I am glad I breathed in new thoughts and good oxygen, and allowed the tears to flow.  I am only human. 

If you need to cry – cry.  Then begin again.    God bless you.

CHANGED FOREVER IN A BREATH

And so it is!  My life has changed FOREVER within just a moment’s time.

Now is the time, you will read, the theme of this website come to life.

Put in to practice by the author of this website – who now, more than ever must use and apply all the techniques I have shared, and will share with you.  They work and I will be living proof, if you choose to follow my challenges and see my suggestions and posts are not just words…I will  live my words.

 

From a minor compression fracture in my back, to two major emergencies on my back, from no fault of my own, I am now facing a new life.  A new challenge, and I will move onward and upward – if only in baby steps.

 

As I sit in the wheelchair in the hospital, I know I will face hills and valleys.

I must be braced for months and every aspect of my life has changed.  I will not be driving or doing the majority of tasks that have made up my life to this point.

 

I must learn to walk again.  Both my feet are totally numb, and my left foot is rather like a fish flopping out of water.  Useless for the timebeing, but it’s still attached and I will be using visualization, prayers, and exercises that are hopefully going to bring my foot to life again.  Various parts of my body are numb.

 

I am in the hands of CNA’s, LVN’s and nurses and doctors.  All modesty has been ripped from me as strangers must take care of business that has been mine my entire life.  It is very humbling.

 

I am allowing myself brief periods of “mourning” my old life disappearing, and cry sometimes for no “apparent” reason at all.  But I am in charge of my mind, and with prayer I plan of creating the best I can with what is available.

 

My first “personal” exercises are breathing – which is life-saving and a great help in relaxing that in my body, which needs to relax.  I am getting good oxygen to the areas that need healing, and with the exhalations I am visualizing all the fear and negativity fly from my fingertips into oblivion.

 

So with this brief post I must ring the nurses to help me retire.  Can’t walk so I need help in all areas.  I have been wearing my huge brace all day, so it will be good to have it off and stretch out.

 

Please think of me when you feel stressed, and all the folks who may be injured or in need of help.  Be grateful for each moment you are able to do anything on your own…even if it’s just washing the car or cooking a meal.

Treasure your moments and I hope and pray they will be healthy and safe.

 

I want to mention too that I am grateful for all those who work in the hospital n any capacity.  It’s not an easy place to be, and they see and hear things – and perform jobs that you and I probably would think unbelievably difficult, with not nearly enough money or benefits.  Don’t be mad at your help if you are hospitalized….be grateful, because the majority REALLY have to are to be so tender and kind, in doing such difficult tasks.

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Sleep well, and wake up and enjoy your day!

 

Need to accomplish unexpected tasks that have totally changed your life? Tasks that can be met, but still your life is changed forever…..

……Then walk this path with me.  For I am on such a journey.  We need to not only meet physical challenges, but the mental, as well.

I must finish what I have begun, before my life finishes me. I thought my time here on planet earth, though short in the eyes of many others, was still unlimited.

Ah, but in the blink of an eye, all has changed. My plans, my life, my world has become smaller and to a far larger degree this human body I reside in will become permanently less pliable and some strengths and freedoms will be gone forever. I will be unable to reach those mountains I had hoped to climb. But there will be other challenges ahead, and adventures in learning and growing, and perhaps my enlightenment in the new world I am approaching, will lend steadfast help to others…and there will be other mountains!

There is good news. Hope is alive. I am assured through my knowledge of the truth that though the pain I must suffer is increasing and will be limiting, I will be able to have the opportunity to work to rise above it in spirit and in love. So in the realm of the most important “things” in life – my freedom to gain wisdom and maturity is alive and well.

The circumstances surrounding my physical challenges will bring family and friends together, and those in the circle my life will reiterate what to me, is most important – loving God, thanking Jesus for His sacrifices, and loving one another. When your own mortality stands face to face with you, your test of faith must stand.

I love you all, and the only things I ask of you, are these things:
1. Please say a prayer for me – God’s will be done in my healing.
2. Don’t forget to FORGIVE each other and pray for one another.
3. Love God as you know Him, and if He is still “in question”, your mind and heart, keep seeking answers. He will find you.
4. Have a family hug and try to be kind to each other. Love is the easiest emotion of all. Let’s start an epidemic of love!

I will write later today, or  tomorrow and update you on what is happening to me. Thanks for your patience in this unexpected new challenge in my life. God bless you