The only person you are destroying – ultimately – is YOU.

SO DON’T GIVE UP!

If you want to change – do it.

If you want help – ask for it; seek it.

If you are alone – pray.

If you are afraid – think of the worst that can happen.  Accept it – then it’s all up hill from there.

The only devastation is from within.  The only defeat is your acceptance of it.  The only one in charge – IS YOU!

Get off your gluts and begin again.  You want stress management?  That’s  my advice.

You are the captain of your ship.  Sink or carry on man!

Instead of anticipating new adventures and rewarding experiences, you will be in a mental “funk”, and in reality, not feel as good physically.  Fear and stress equals a double edge sword that will take your life away and destroy any hope for joy and the future.

Stop it!  Stop wasting your life.  Since you get to CHOOSE your thoughts, CHOOSE to expect good.  You don’t know what the very next nanosecond will be like, let alone the next hours or days

Why shouldn’t you expect good?  Why not!

Even in the face of difficult circumstances you are still capable of guiding your thoughts and intellect.  You have an unlimited strength from within if you just tap into it.  Expect good to come – if not this instant – soon.

Claim trust back if it’s been dashed by time and circumstance.  Create order in your life and seek transformation to a solution that is good and acceptable to you and others.  There is always order and a silver lining if you can bear the temporary rocky road to get there.  Learn from those times that seem impossible.

You are stronger than you even know.  You may have just been trained to believe you are less than you feel in your heart.  Sometimes criticism from family and peers pierces the heart and acts like a train barreling into your self-esteem.

Esteem means, “respect and admire”.  It seems in life that many people are more apt to be critical and tear down others than to be respectful and admire them.  Perhaps it is because they themselves were treated in that manner.  Perhaps it is because negativity is rampant and people seem sure “the worst is to com”.

BELIEVE THE BEST IS YET TO COME.  DRAW GOOD TO YOU.

EMPOWER YOUR LIFE WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO FAIN YOUR BELIEF IN THEM AT FIRST, CREATE NEW BRAIN CELLS AND TEACH YOURSELF TO DO THESE THINGS.

WHY NOT?  THE THOUGHT POLICE HAVEN’T COME TO FRUITION AS YET.  THOUGHT IS STILL ON THE FREE RANGE IF YOU BREAK OUT OF THE PRISON YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE IN.

Don’t believe unwarranted words.  None of us are perfect.  We all make mistakes, but that is part of maturing and learning to choose the best choices for our own lives.   You have a warehouse of “goods” within you, ready to be tapped into at any moment.

Transform your life.

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Once you are able to “exercise” your thoughts, the value of stress management training, yoga, meditation, exercise class, videos, any type of schooling or training, will accelerate to optimum intellectual levels and with a calm demeanor.  Use your oxygen and begin from within you…..today!

If you have been stressing lately about the amount of alcohol you are consuming, or if you find yourself drinking when no one else knows, you had better start right away to make some BIG changes or you are HEADED DIRECTLY IN THE PATH OF A FREIGHT TRAIN!  This is not a joke.

Even if you think you are in control and just have a drink or two when no one is around – YOU’VE ALREADY GOT A PROBLEM.  If you have the “need” for a drink this warning is as serious as stopping at a red light in major city traffic.  You are headed the wrong way on a one-way street.

You can lie to yourself, justify your drinking, or just say it’s no one’s business – but this writer speaks from personal experience on both sides of the fence….the drinker, and the one who suffered the effects of living with a drinker.  This is serious business. It cannot be stressed enough. If you continue your stress level will increase.

If you think having a drink takes the edge off for a while, you are kidding yourself.  It’s like any drug only more insidious.

Ultimately you’ll need more to get the same feeling.  This drug causes much more damage than others because it is legal and so readily available.

Ever have a blackout?  Ever gotten angry when drinking?  Have you ever said or done something you wish you hadn’t?  Ever thought about what it costs to continue the habit?  Have you lost your family and / or the respect and love of friends?  Ever hidden a bottle or lied about your drinking?

Most people with a problem (possibly unrecognized, as yet) have experienced at least one or two of these scenarios.

No matter what the scenario – married, divorced, children, partnering with someone, or alone – overindulgence of alcohol can not only RUIN your life and the lives – it is a spirit, intellect, and health killer!

The problem is that alcohol has been advertised to be “socially acceptable”, a way to take the “edge off”, and a way to find your “confidence”, some profess true feelings come out, or that it is one of the best legal ways to party hearty.

DON’T FORGET WHO IS ADVERTISING:  big business, politicians who have there hands out, and people who are in the middle of the struggle and don’t want to drink alone.

Those are NOT very good recommendations!  If you are a parent and you love your children SEEK HELP NOW.  There is no shame in it.  From grade school to the elderly, America is fighting the battle with alcohol.  It takes courage to make this move, but you won’t loose everything ultimately, if you do something now!

If you don’t care about yourself enough, yet, think what you are possibly doing to someone else because of your drinking.

Alcohol stress for the NON-DRINKERS

This is a true story about a little girl who deals with the effects of alcohol EVERY DAY of her young life.

This is what a child should be worrying about (boy or girl) -  “Is there enough bread to feed all the geese?”

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McKenna was nine years old the day I met her.  I rounded the corner while taking my energetic puppy for a promised walk.  I walked a few yards and noticed a little girl across the street on her bike.  Her outfit was pink and her hair red. Not the kind of red that reminds you of a fire truck.  It was a soft red, almost  light pink.  It was cut in a cute bouncy style.

I introduced her to my dog so they could become friends.  She was “sparkly”.  Funny, that’s the only word that comes to mind.

She has dreams.  She sings.  I asked if she was good and she was modest and said “Some people think I’m good when they hear me.”  I asked if she thought she was good and said it wouldn’t be conceited to tell me.  She told me she thought she was good – but with purity and no diva attitude.

She asked if she could sing for me and I said yes.  When she started she was a little nervous, but she got more relaxed and belted out a very nice rendition of the song she was singing.

She was actually very good and I told her I enjoyed her singing.

Then out of a clear blue sky she told me this:

“My dad’s an alcoholic.  I know he loves me, but alcohol took my dad away.  I’ve known it since I was five.  He never keeps his promises to us and my mom warned me to let me know if he crushed my heart some time along the way.”

My heartbeat quickened.  I knew if I allowed the tears in my eyes to express themselves, it wouldn’t be right, or helpful for McKenna, this beautiful nine year old.  I could feel her genuine pain.

She was however, mature beyond her years and ready to understand and forgive.  I explained some things about addiction and she listened hard.

She rode her bike next to us all the way to her boundry.  I turned around and backtracked because she was so hungry to talk about it.  She has lived on this planet only nine years and is already suffering the pain living with someone who is an alcoholic brings.

She asked me if I would walk that way again and I said I would love to see you again.  She hugged me and we waved good-by.

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McKenna’s pain has only begun.  Times will get harder.  I can pray for her and be her friend.  A child shouldn’t have to feel this way!

Know this:  just because you may not be an “alcoholic” (you may not even know you could be) – and you think you are just a social drinker, be sure to plant a seed in your mind to monitor your habits.

As creatures of habit we get into the “habit” of things easily; they are harder to break.  Remember alcohol is a seductive and sneaky drug that at some point can creep up on you and rule your life!

Don’t wind up like the man I saw laying on the side of the road, sleeping under cardboard.  His shoes were off and I couldn’t see his face, but I could see the empty bottle of bourbon next to him.  Head towards the path a friend of mine went down.  He actually made a decision to quit all on his own.  He had been in jail, almost lost his family, and knew he had to do something.   He quit cold turkey and has not had a drink in twenty-five years.  His life is wonderful now and he has no regrets.

Don’t think your children aren’t watching.  They see and hear more than you think.  Don’t forget the statistics of high school and college age students who have DIED from alcohol poisoning is on the rise.  Don’t forget alcohol may seem to take you up temporarily, but as it wears off it becomes a depressant!

Now What Do I Do?

First of all, take a breath.  Before ANY fearful or major happening in your life, USE MINDFUL OXYGEN. It will help relax you and empower you.  Refer to earlier posts if you are not familiar with breathing techniques as there are a few on line practices on this website.  No charge, of course.

Seek help.  If you are hiding alcohol, have been drunk this week, or can relate to any of the scenarios above:  PLEASE SEEK HELP.

Most communities have Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and Alanon (for those suffering from the actions of alcoholics).  Look online for help and websites offering more suggestions.

Contact a church, a family member or friends…there is help available and there is NO SHAME in asking for help.  There is hope in it!

Don’t leave your spirit in an empty bottle of alcohol.  The choice is yours and yours alone.

From elementary school to senior community classes – all students need to learn to use these techniques.  This doesn’t mean you will instantly have all these benefits, similar to anything you learn in life, it will take your commitment to be consistent practicing techniques, and a tenacity that makes you persist until your goals are achieved.  But you absolutely WILL start feeling better each time you practice.

The truth is, the younger you learn stress management techniques,  the better your life will be throughout all your years.  That is not to say you cannot achieve results if you are in your senior years…humans can always learn and create new and useful brain cells.  The human brain is excellent and regenerative

It is actually simpler than most things you will learn in school at any level. Just learn these techniques and you will never regret it!

Breathe!  If you already know how to breath to empower yourself you have completed the most important step.  If you don’t, read on.  STRESS makes humans shallow breathers.  Your brain needs fifty percent more oxygen than the rest of the body to think optimally.  Ever feel stressed out before an exam?  You were probably breathing shallow, ineffective breaths!

Here is the deal:  Breathe right and this is what happens.  You will give your brain oxygen to sharpen your intellect (all facets of it).  Your mind will relax and yet be brighter.  Your muscles, tendons and ligaments will stay relaxed, so your shoulders won’t tighten up with stress.   If you’ve used mindful breathing prior to an exam or class, you will be more relaxed, hence, more effective in learning and remembering what you’ve learned.

To empower you, inhale slowly through the nose (pulling in that life-saving and energizing oxygen), expanding your belly like a balloon.  Exhale through the mouth letting the belly empty out from the bottom upward and the carbon dioxide will be released, making room for more oxygen.  You don’t have to make noise or a big fuss about it.  It can be a secret weapon to use at any time, or any place.

Try to get in three or four of these breaths before you start, so you can be more relaxed and prepared.  This works for performing as an athlete, in theatre, choir, or any type activity that “rings” your stress button.  You want to be good.  You want to do your best.  This is a gift to human beings….the ability to control your own mind and body through your oxygen intake is an unbelievable gift.  You must believe it works, and the proof is the physiological response in accord with/ or characteristic of the normal functioning of a living organism -  That’s YOU!

Practice visualizing success.  You can combine this practice with using mindful oxygen and it will expedite results. Visualize empowerment as you inhale, and negativity leaving you as you exhale. Visualization is a great way to build your confidence.  As you fall asleep each night visualize yourself calm taking tests (or performing some craft), and doing a wonderful job.

Be detailed about your visualization and it will help you really feel like you are practicing for success – and you are doing just that.  These are rehearsals for life.  You can use visualizations to help you remember facts.  Create detailed scenarios that involve information you are trying to remember; this will help cement the facts in your memory.

These two techniques can be life altering and grade enhancing!  You can

apply the techniques to ANY situation in life.  When you are learning to drive, breathe.  When you are going out on a date, breathe.  When you are getting ready for a football game, breathe.

Make it fun practicing anywhere – a secret weapon.  If someone gets in your face and ticks you off, breathe.  You will not react.  You will respond with higher intellect and a calm demeanor.  You win!

Every time you get ready for bed practice visualizing for success.  These techniques work and they are yours already, no purchase required.  Just call upon your brain to be motivated and practice…no one will test you on these things, but you can be on your way to a great life if you truly learn to use them for your benefit

Begin today!

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A person who has been drinking heavily promises to quit and does it easily  (It can happen, but rarely)

Abnormally unruly behavior, agitation about things about

Very defensive about alcoho

Working late; loosing money, unexplained expense

Bruises on children for no reason

Someone tells you, “You are blowing things out of perspective”

Lies

Blaming you or something you said or did on excessive drink

Drinking moderately, then the drinking accelerates to drunkenness and when the binge is through, subsides again temporarily

Someone says: “It was an accident I hurt you.”

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If you do then you, or you may know someone, may have a serious problem with alcohol.  By definition alcoholism is:  “A condition that results in the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, despite health problems and negative social consequences. Habitual intoxication (not necessarily every day) or a prolonged and excessive intake of alcoholic drinks that leads to a breakdown in health and an addiction to alcohol; an intense persistent desire to drink alcoholic beverages to excess regardless of the consequences. ”

Abuse is: “To use wrongly or improperly; misuse.  To hurt or injure by maltreatment; to force verbal or physical violent or sexual acts upon a person…”

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Put the two words together and you have a dangerous and a   potentially explosive scenario brewing.  This writer is not posting from simply an educational background.  Though alcohol is legal and socially acceptable, it is one of the most dangerous and insidious drugs available to mankind.

Alcohol abuse has wracked havoc on more lives and homes, caused more automobile deaths, and violence, than any other drug known to mankind. This is not only because it is legal and socially acceptable, but because of it’s subtle grasping of one’s intellect and spirit. It causes emotional treachery, blackouts (which are can be critically dangerous) and hangovers in the form of headaches and queasy stomach aches.  STRESS is magnified after drinking for the drinker, and ALL THE TIME for those enduring the alcoholic’s bouts.

Habitual drinkers like to drink. They like the taste of alcohol.  For some people alcohol seems to “kill the pain”, or “take the edge off the day’s stresses”.  For others it may be a social habit or just something that began because of the insistence of others.   Many people actually believe your “true” feelings come to light when you drink alcohol-a fallacy.

What can you do?

First of all, remember that your children are very susceptible and watch and hear everything that happens in the household. This can, in time, lead to emotional, behavioral and mental scars.

Take a breath and calm down.  Talking to someone who is drunk is useless and dangerous.  Do not do this as you may find yourself in trouble.  Do not confront a drunk.  If you are in danger find a way to excuse yourself calmly.

There is tons of material available on the web to guide you to help and resources.  Use it.

If you can talk to your partner, do it at a time no alcohol is involved, and remember most alcoholics will be defensive.

Perhaps you can discuss the possibility of re-hab.  If you can work together – good – just remember there is no quick fix.

If you cannot talk to the person, and danger is involved, consider a planned, orchestrated and organized confrontation.

You (and your family or friends) confront the alcoholic about their problem and tell them the damage they area causing themselves and the family.  Be firm and let them know unless they get treatment, there will be consequences in their future and current relationships.

Consider going to Alanon. It is a wonderful support group for family and friends of alcoholics. Try one of their meetings – you won’t be sorry.

MOST IMPORTANTLY, make haste in attending to this problem before the circumstances of your life, or the lives of someone dear to you turns terribly wrong, and an impending disaster occurs.  Do it now!

Have you walked from one room into another and forgotten why you were there?  How about recalling memories of an incident that no one else seems to remember, or wondering why you can remember something twenty years ago, and can’t remember what you had for breakfast?  Welcome to the human race!

Your memory is behind almost everything we do.  In order to pass an exam, drive and automobile, call someone on the phone, remember a name, or every talk and walk, your memory is activated, and is the underlying factor behind everything you do!

No wonder when you can’t remember it is a HUGE STRESS to you!  Memory is a complicated process and there are all sorts of ways it works well or not so well.

You have two different centers in the brain for storing memory.  One is a long-term memory center, and one a short-term memory center.

The first thing your brain does is to “encode” all the information it encounters.  This means it must convert sensations, tastes, sounds, visual images, touch and so forth, into meaningful information.

Many psychologists and scientists think the brain is the human computer.  It actually is just that.  Computers have to encode data and so does your brain!

After encoding, there must be a physiological change in the body before memory can be stored.  The memories are then stored in the long-term memory center, or the short-term memory center.  That is pretty similar to a computer storing information on a hard drive.

Take a breath slowly.  Now exhale slowly.  Your brain needs fifty percent more oxygen than the rest of the body to think more intelligently.  Take another and continue.

There is a retrieval system in your brain…one that takes the stored information out and reverses the encoding so your brain can translate into meaningful information – you can call that transference of information your “memory.”

Sensory memory refers to everything from the outside work -including what we see, hear, taste and recognize.  Short-term memo is the capacity for holding a small amount of information in mind, in an active, readily available state for a short period of time.  Long -term memory is the storage of information indefinitely so that it can be used again and again at a later time.

The term working memory is the kind of memory we use every day for routine things.  It has a limited memory span.

You also have something called false memory.  Sometimes when new information is added to old memories, we mistakenly think it is still part of the same original memory.

So here’s the point – if your memory seems to be fading, or you get mixed up with remembering things exactly as they happened – CUT YOURSELF SOME SLACK!  You are human, and even the great human computer has a glitch once in a while.

It may seem complex to you now, but this fine human body is built to last, and built with “specifics” in mind for your benefit!

When you feel you are “slipping” memory-wise, start using these techniques to enhance your memory – and lessen your stress level about it!

1.  Have a note pad and pen handy – in the home, on the desk, in the car, in your purse or briefcase.  It can be a great aid to sharp memory.

2.  Record names, dates, and what you were told!

3.  Use the “association” technique. If you are trying to remember a name, for instance, make a rhyme using the name, or think of your aunt with the same name…associate something with what you are trying to recall, and it will help!

Even if you simply repeat the name over and over, and visualize the face to match the name, any association technique will help the memory stay sharp.

4.  REMEMBER – If you use your oxygen in bountiful amounts, you will think optimally, hence, your mind and body processes will work more efficiently.

Take a slow and mindful plug of oxygen.  You ARE regenerating and accelerating your intellect.  Exhale slowly and remember you ARE getting rid of “used goods” …and if you direct it to be, you are letting negativity spew out with the exhalation-making room for the good stuff

You have power over so much of your mind and body functions that you have never been told!  Perhaps you have been told, but putting your power into action is your choice.  Do it!  This is the beginning of really managing not just stress, but your life!

Someone  you don’t know really cares!

Marsha J. O’Brien

http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/02/contest-stress-free/

http://www.marshaobrien.wordpress.com

Change is certainly not always predictable.  There will be physical changes as the years increase, changes at work, changes at school and home, and most likely, changes in relationships.  This is life.

Change can be exhilarating and sometimes frightening.  Any change will have a considerable psychological impact on the human mind.  To those who are fearful to begin with, change is threatening because it means that things “may” get worse.

To those who are positive and hopeful, change is encouraging because things may get better.  For those individuals who are confident, change often inspires because of the challenges that exist to make things better.

In order to manage the stress of change,  whether good or bad, use these quick tips to begin to learn to flow with what is happening:

1.  Always remember when a change is imminent to use your oxygen first.  When we are bombarded with stress our oxygen is your first defense to keep your wits about you.  Remember stress causes us to breathe shallow, therein restricting the needed supply of oxygen to think optimally and respond instead of reacting.

2.  Stay healthy.  Even if you eat moderately nutritiously and exercise only moderately – you can – with a busy schedule, stay healthier than if you simply neglect these things.  Good health makes it easier to manage stress because you aren’t fighting stress and poor health!

3.  Learn to accept the fact you CANNOT CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.  That is not realistic.  If you are able to stay flexible and use a fine mix of intellect melding with emotion, you will find ANY scenario more manageable.

4.  Do reserve time for you to THINK.  You may need time to re-evaluate the situation, or simply time meditate or pray about it.  Time to focus on your own plan of action.  Time to find the right attitude and courage.  These things can be found from within if you just take a few minutes each day to reconcile your mind and heart with what is happening in your life.  It takes practice to make these CHANGES, but the time is worth it in every moment of your life, from this time forward.

5.  Pay attention to positive thoughts and feedback from those who obviously have climbed the mountains before you.

“Things do not change: we change.”

Henry David Thoreau

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“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”

Marcus Arelius Antoninus

—-

“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Serenity Prayer

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,

]]> http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/04/change-can-be-overwhelming/feed/ 0 http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/03/affirmations-prayers-meditation-these-are-management-techniques-always-available-to-you-2/ http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/03/affirmations-prayers-meditation-these-are-management-techniques-always-available-to-you-2/#comments Mon, 22 Mar 2010 15:15:24 +0000 Marsha http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/?p=382 Thoughts drive our “action and reaction”, our responses to life. Thoughts manifest into how you conduct your life.  The following is a list of tried and true positive thoughts, that when thought or spoken, repeatedly, can help manage your stress.

These are positive thoughts are for your enhancement as a human being, and for all those in your circle of life, whether at work or home.

You can refer to them as mantras, meditation, or just positive thoughts. You can think of them as prayers confirming your beliefs in the power your Creator has given to you.  Apply them to your life repeatedly, and see what happens.  No one can do it for you, and it certainly can’t hurt you!

As you read each one, take in a deep breath and assimilate what you are reading.  As you finish a thought, exhale and visualize negativity leaving you.  Then begin again.  This will give you two-fold benefits!

This requires desire, dedication and repetition.

This requires desire, dedication and repetition.

We are creatures of habit.

Whatever is pertinent to your needs are the ideas you should pay attention to; perhaps only for or five at a time, and then return to practice the others later.  Whatever is appropriate and will help the most in your life.

A great way to keep practicing without having to return to the computer is to simply copy and print these, and carry them in your wallet, post them near your desk, or tape them on a refrigerator.

If you fill your mind with positive and healing thoughts you will find you have less and less time to be filled with worry and fear.  It works!

1.   I will never let another be in charge of my actions, my healing, my thoughts, nor my heart.  I am in charge.

2.  I will dismiss all undue anxieties, and picture my life, as I want it to be.

3.  I am my own and have a choice in every word I speak and every action I take.

4.  I am an individual creation in the process of becoming my elevated destiny.

5.  I am able to shift my thoughts from emotion to intellect and back again to have a fine mix of both.

6.  I am healing, mentally and physically.

7.  I am learning, step by step.

8.  I will stop trying to control the present and the future.

9.  I will accept those things that I must accept.

10.  I will be courageous moment by moment.

11.  I will smile more.

12.  I will celebrate each moment with vigor.

13.  I can.  I will.  I am becoming what I see in my dreams and

feel in my heart.

14.  I will await the next change in life with anticipation,

regardless of the challenge it may require.

15.  I will use the gift of “breathing” for my empowerment.

16.  I will never loose sight of the light before, and I will keep

my path in focus.

17. This moment is a new beginning.  I will savor it and hope

for the best.

18.  I will read again, and think again, these thoughts and positive thoughts of my choice.

As you think, so shall you become

CREATE a wonderful life for you and your loved ones.  It is possible and easier than you can imagine.  Practice these over and over.  It certainly can do no harm!

This is a stepping-stone to stress management for a lifetime.

If you find you need additional help  (most people do) – seek it by find stress management classes, joining a yoga class, or contact one of the fine organizations advertised on this website or the many other sites available.

Marsha

http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/02/contest-stress-free/

There are unexpected horror stories happening right now because of the high unemployment rate in our nation.  In February alone the number of job losses (reported) is over thirty-five thousand.  It is disheartening, to say the least, to be unemployed and not be able to support yourself or a family. This is particularly true for families with children, or with only one member of the family in the work force.

Not only is it stressful because of the financial problems that are accruing, it is devastating to many relationships. Today there are many citizens who have worked all their lives and have now been unemployed, not by choice, for months.  There are a growing number of people who have also just given up, and that number isn’t even counted in the unemployment monthly figures.

After a few months of unemployment there rises a feeling of detachment to the work force. As the period of time extends   the less current the resume becomes, and the potential for a possible loss of skills can occur.

For the unemployed person there is added worry about how the bills will be paid, often boredom with too much free time, a hit to the ego, and the ever-present luring nature of having a drink to “take off the edge”. The seductive nature of alcohol is a real temptation (after all it is social and legal).  It is also easy to have a second drink because “the first one made you feel so good”. Then you think, ” perhaps another just to be social”. The ball is rolling now.

Be careful, alcohol can run you down and kill your relationships, family, and even the potential to ever work again.  Motivation is lacking with those who drink regularly – except the motivation to get another drink. Good men (and women) can get caught up in this downward spiral.  It happens all the time!

Alcohol is a VERY DANGEROUS drug. Like any drug, it has a cumulative draw.  Too much alcohol and lies are congruent.  If a person has a blackout there is a huge danger of total ruination, because of actions you can’t remember, the possibility of driving under the influence, and often times, violence.

You don’t want the unemployed person, or yourself, to have to drink and get into that “fake world” where everyone is your best friend, and you all tell each other how great you are, just to regain some confidence.  That doesn’t even take into consideration the cost of the alcohol.  These days two drinks is the same cost as if you went to the store and bought a bottle!

These truths aren’t meant to freak anyone out, but to simply elevate awareness of potential problems.  We are ALL FLAWED human beings the need to be cognizant of the pitfalls and dangers that face so many people are real. It is important for you to be on your toes if “things” seem to be changing.

Be supportive and do understand it’s tough right now.  It does not help in most situations to point out how many other people are in similar situations.  A person who has been gainfully employed can only stay home so long (particularly with children) before “stir crazy” and “cabin fever” manifest.

Remember, too, particularly a man, may not want to share his insecurity, his concern, or his feelings of failure.  As an example of how tough it is right now, there are fifty-one candidates for every one position available in construction!  That is staggering.

If you have a genetic connection to alcohol someone with alcoholic tendencies, be aware. Also, for those who simply fall into the pit by circumstance, keep the risks in mind. They are real.

So what can you really do?

1.  The first key to stress management will always be learning to use your oxygen to calm yourself down.  You will not “react” but “respond” with intellect if you slow down to breathe.  When you concentrate on your breath you will be leaving your problems for a short time.  You can only think of one thing at a time.

2.  If you are the person unemployed, listen to your mate or partner.  Really listen.  Some things they say may seem unfair to you, but be mature enough to know what is true, and work on the problems.

3.  If you are the mate or partner of the person unemployed, be patient.  Share your feelings without tearing down the other person.  Use your intellect and recognize the difference between someone who is really trying, and someone who is not.

3.  Remember fighting will not resolve anything.  It will only exacerbate the problem.  Again, use your oxygen before opening your mouth!  Don’t yell.  Everyone concerned is frustrated.

4.  Have a “production” meeting and make notes as to possible job opportunities or alternate choices that may work.

5.  STAY FLEXIBLE.  There are no guarantees of what will happen in the next moment.  The only guarantee you have is that if you turn sour or negative, you will definitely ruin your

Every one of those trials you’ve faced seemed life shattering.  But they are not unless you give power to them.

The past is the past.  Begin again.  Take a few more slow and deep breaths and SMILE.  Loose the fear and forge a head with great expectancy of the present and future!

“Good thoughts and actions can never produce bad results; bad thoughts and actions can never produce good thought and actions.  Men understand this in the natural world (nothing can come from corn except corn) – but few unterstand it is in the mental and moral world.”

James Allen

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Because you acquire fresh knowledge intellectually doesn’t mean it will change your life or your soul.  Knowledge not put into practice is dormant; suspended in time until put into use.

Inhale slowly through the nose.  Exhale.  This is a gift.  You are an oxygen machine and can enhance your life, relax your body, and manage your stress much more effectively if you just remember to stop and take a breath when you are overwhelmed.  Take in several mindful breaths, recognizing that in order for you to move forward intellectually, you need oxygen for your brain.  Panic and stress cause us to slow our breathing!

PRACTICE this one technique for stress management every time you feel you cannot go any further.  Believe management will happen.  The body responds to your “input”, and to your thoughts.  Make it happen! Create a beautiful day as moments of your life will accelerate.  Use each one with positive thoughts – those thoughts become your life.