Don’t you think it’s difficult sometimes to quantify why you are here on planet earth? I know I’ve found it difficult many times. Perhaps you’ve thought:

“It’s just not worth the trouble.”
“My kids are raised, my life means nothing.”
“My husband and I split up and I will never find my dreams.”
“I am getting old and hurt every day. There is no future for me.”
“I am a looser.”

Well, I call BS and say STOP THE PITY PARTY. I’ve been there!
I’ve been “there” many times – more times than I care to remember. I’ve been on the edge, without hope, without purpose, alone, overwhelmed with life in general.

Guess what? I’m still here! I just flatly decided a long time ago I am stronger than to give in to life of the influences of circumstances…even circumstances I helped create.

I admit my faith has been an abiding factor in my recovery – but just to let you know, I HAVEN’T ALWAYS had my faith to pull me up by the bootstraps. Sometimes I’ve had an “empty cup” and had to remember I am human, and human kind are built for endurance.

So what if you’ve lost everything you ever worked for SO FAR….I’ve done that too! Mama always said, “Material things come and go…” Guess what? THEY DO!

Pinch yourself. It hurts doesn’t it? So stop inflicting unnecessary pain to yourself. It’s difficult enough to rise above circumstance; don’t add to your own challenges.

If you are breathing, if you are thinking, if you are reading and using your hands to type – if you are alive – you still have the chance to find HAPPINESS.

The secret is, it comes from within YOU! As you think, so shall you be. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a path to travel. That path, ultimately, is of your own creation.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are stronger than you ever dreamed. You are worth a life…your life. You are worth gritting your teeth, rolling up your sleeves, and trying again!

If you don’t think I know what I am talking about – share your experience with me privately and I’ll show you I know what I am talking about! I haven’t been through the hell in my life for nothing…pain shared makes your experience easier.

Share it privately with me and I will respond privately to you, with love and support. I promise. I’ve been a personal health consultant (mind, body and spirit) for over
thirty years, and lived at least five different lives! Let me help, no charge, if I can!
The spirit is willing!
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Opt for Optimism

Research has shown that the majority of illnesses, including backaches, headaches, and even heart disease, can be caused or influenced by our feelings and our stress levels.

When we experience life changes-positive or negative-our bodies need time to recover.  If we have an optimistic attitude, it can help speed recover and may even keep you healthier than someone with negative attitudes.

By learning to look on the “bright side” you can help counteract the negative effects of stress and improve your overall health.

Look on the Bright Side

The classic definition of an optimist is a person who sees a glass as half full, while the pessimist sees it as half empty.

Optimists choose to feel hopeful about how they see a situation.

Optimists are positive thinkers who practice positive “self-talk”. Optimists tell themselves, “I can do it.  I will do it. ”

Surprisingly, optimism, or positive thinking, can help accomplish a surprising number of personal goals.

How to Become an Optimist

Find a role model.  Find someone who seems to make the best of any given situation.  Find out how that person maintains that attitude and copy the behavior!   Get in the habit of responding in a positive manner.  Chances are that this role model, even during difficult times, will get through the circumstance with fewer negative effects.

Practice positive self-talk.  Repetition is the mother of all learning, and the only way to change the habit of constant negativity, is by training yourself.   Tell yourself positive things for a month.  Make that brief commitment and follow through and it can change your life.  Leave out of your vocabulary negative words such as “can’t, won’t, or don’t”.

Practice positive affirmations.  Affirmations are positive, and motivating statements.  Use short “I am” statements:  “I am calm and will respond with intellect.”  “I am changing to become more positive.”  Say the affirmations out loud several times, and then imagine it happening.  You are in the process of creating new brain cells that are based on your positive thoughts and affirmations.

No one is optimistic all the time.  It just isn’t possible.  We are all human.  But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude.  When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to a happier, healthier body, mind and spirit.

Now take a deep inhalation of oxygen and think, “I am in charge of my attitude and the response to any challenge I may encounter.”

CREATE a wonderful day!

Yes it can!

Everyone knows that laughter feels good.  Laughter can make any situation a little more bearable, but did you know it could actually make you healthier?

Children laugh about 400 times a day.  Adults only laugh about 15 times a day, and that’s not the majority of adults.

Many of us get so wrapped up in the serious side of our jobs, whether it be in an office, working outside, or parenting.  The trouble with that is we simply aren’t laughing enough.  When we get so bogged down and serious, our stress levels spiral out of control.  Oftentimes we forget there is really still a lighter side to life.

How often do you let yourself laugh?  How often to you chuckle or really laugh until it hurts?  Not often enough I’d bet!

Laughter is really an all-around health booster.  According to “Science of Laughter” on the Discovery Health Web site, when we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase.

Not only that, but Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein, T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells

(which make disease -fighting antibodies) increase too!

Blood pressure lowers with laughter, and you breathe more when laughing, thereby increasing oxygen in the blood.  That also encourages healing.

Be aware though, what “some people” call humor is not beneficial.  When jokes and laughter turn into jabs towards others, and yourself, you are no longer reaping the benefit of your laughter, and are in fact increasing pain and putting distance between yourself and others

Healthy humor is a whole body experience comprised of three key components:

1.  Laughter, the reflexive and contagious physical experience.

2.  Wit, the cognitive experience.

3.  Amusement (or mirth), the feel good emotional experience enhanced when shared with others.

When these three elements are part of your “laughter” experience, you can be absolutely sure your body is benefiting!

Laughter really does lower blood pressure.  Many tests have shown that those who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.

Laughter protects our hearts.  Laughter can help prevent heart disease.

The “humor factor” actually changes our biochemical state, similar to what the “flight or fight” syndrome does – only laughter changes are good.  It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies.  It makes us more attentive, and increases the heart rate and pulse.

Laughter is a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.  It actually gives us a good workout.  It massages abdominal organs, tones the intestinal functioning, and strengthens muscles that hold abdominal organs in place.  A hearty laugh can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or an exercise bike.

Humor does improve brain function, which in turn helps relieve stress.  It stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance our intellect and learning.  It eases psychological stress and allows people to retain more information.

When we laugh our ability to connect with others improves.   Humor helps us to replace negative emotions with good feelings.

When humor enters it changes our behavior.  We talk more, make more direct eyes contact with others, our energy increases, and simply put, it makes us feel better!

Look for everyday humor.  There is humor to be found!  There are things constantly around us that can incite humor if we let them.  Honestly, you can find silly things happening around you every day.

Look at children.  They can find humor in anything! Surround yourself with positive people.  Take a humor break and pick up a book of jokes to read.  When you start to feel pressured, pick the book up and read a few jokes.

I remember a time years ago that I went to the beach with friends.  Trying to impress the guys, I attached a long ponytail to my own hair.  I looked hot!

When asked to play volleyball I said, “Of course.”  I had a hundred pins holding the darn thing in.  We played for a few minutes and then my ponytail fell off!

Everyone looked shocked and I simply said “Time out”, and I set it by the sidelines and kept playing.  No one laughed or mentioned it, and the game continued.  I played hard and our team won.

When over, I put the hairpiece in my purse and my friend and I went back to the house.  Once the door was closed we burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and laughed until our sides hurt.  I’m still smiling.

Rather than suffer humiliation or embarrassment, I chose to ignore the stress, and just keep going.  It was the best thing I possibly could have done.

Remember, this is your life!  Don’t forget to have fun.  Enjoy your life.  Take a breath and take heart.  It will work out easier if you remember to laugh!

Smile now.  The good times are closer than you think.

THEN READ ON MY FRIENDS! I have specialized in this work for over twenty years,  but I I STILL HAVE STRESS to contend with quite FREQUENTLY!

Don’t misunderstand this statement. Stress will be your partner all your life.  But the good news is that if you “practice stress management”, it will not destroy you physically and emotionally.

Stress need not be debilitating.  I only allow it to encompass my being for minutes.  I use the empowerment of breathing as my immediate secret weapon. Next I make (and in the beginning it took practice) my mind switch from emotion to intellect, during which time I take a breath again. This very moment is the perfect one to do it. You might as well too! J Be selfish and take two deep breaths and deep exhalations too.’

Release all the troubles and draw in positive expectations.  It you habitually do this, I mean throughout the day wherever you are, you will begin to feel better almost immediately.

It would be instinctive to tell a friend who was drowning in stress, “Relax.  It will be okay.  Take a breath.  Slow down.”

Think about it. J We have natural gifts that can really help us manage any stress. They are offered to us all, for free.  Now pretend you are your friend and love yourself that much!

Your performance in any task requires a confident and relaxed state of mind.  It is attainable, but ONLY if you challenge yourself to find out if what I say is true or not.

I guarantee it is!

Simply the diversion from the stress to thinking about and performing the simplest of breathing exercises will really help!

Some stress is positive, such as wedding preparations, the birth of a child, or graduation.

Some stress can be absolutely disheartening.  A death in the family, divorce, financial disaster, or fighting with someone you love.  All of these require a dedicated and habitual offering to your brain to exercise thoughts, your breath, and then your actions will be responding intelligently, and not just reacting.

Here’s a thought to ponder.  Every single individual in the world wakes up with challenges and not knowing what life will bring from moment to moment.

We think we’d like to know the future, and make plans for what to do in our lives.  But here’s the thing: the only for sure plan you can make for your life is to be flexible and be prepared to be surprised.

Dedicate a few minutes during your workday each hour to

breathing and clear the negative away.  When stuck in traffic think about something lovely and take a breath. When you do mindful breathing you are relaxing and regenerating simultaneously – and if you don’t think that is true – you don’t know the workings of the body you are living in.  It will work (even if it feels like it isn’t at first).

If you are honorable to your goal of seeking stress management this simple practice is the first step to that goal.  Remember also to make the journey a happy challenge and use your moments well.   Time is fleeting.

After studying and teaching stress management for over thirty years, I have some simple but life altering techniques, observations and realizations.

We all have the power to transform the natural stress that comes from living into energy capable of improving our physical and spiritual health

Secret number one is that the essence of life is transformation. These simple words hold the key for changing your life for the better. Join me in transformation and see if it isn’t so.  These are thoughts for the day that can transform your life and the lives of others

Cherish your pets and the lives of all animals.  They are gifts to us and can be dear friends.

When someone asks for a donation, try to give with whatever you can – So many people have been left homeless-and we are not their judges; just their brothers and sisters.

Breathe deeply and mindfully.  Do it again!

Remember to look for all those blessings we take for granted.  The breeze in the trees, the sound of singing birds, the laughter of a child, these are all blessings we can enjoy!

Take a walk. Crunch leaves as they begin to fall from the trees. Watch the changing colors…it’s AWESOME.  Love!

Humble beginnings or wealth from the start, what truly matters are things of the heart.

Take your family for a walk, or just do something spontaneous for fun together.  Love deeply.

Don’t keep yourself in a prison.  Take a break from your electronics and refresh the memory of talking to a real human, or sitting in the sunshine!

Take a breath.  Stretch.  Smile.

Make a point of actually playing with your children while they are small. Catch a fish, catch a ball, and catch precious moments. We are only here for one short period of time.

Watch the sun rise as darkness lifts, watch the sunset.  How many times have you left to see the stars at night or revel in the full moon?  Not enough in a lifetime for me.

If you can’t leave – take a mental vacation.  Even if it’s just for a minute or two, visualize a favorite place.  Listen to the sounds of nature.  Take a breath and use your mind to renew your zest for life.

Cherish the earth.  It is our home.

Cherish your body.  It is the only place your Spirit has to live!

Don’t let the sour expressions or negative attitudes of people affect your day.

Let your light shine through and be grateful for small miracles.  Start a cycle of sharing smiles and positive thoughts.

Say a prayer kneeling, with head bent and a humble heart and God will tend to your needs.

Take a breath and exhale all your negative thoughts.  Create a wonderful weekend for you and those you love!

Every single thought listed on this post is a form of stress management!  Our thoughts guide our actions.  Our actions build our lives.  Make them “right” thoughts and “thoughtful” actions.  It is a choice!

You can do it!

Instead of anticipating new adventures and rewarding experiences, you will be in a mental “funk”, and in reality, not feel as good physically.  Fear and stress equals a double edge sword that will take your life away and destroy any hope for joy and the future.

Stop it!  Stop wasting your life.  Since you get to CHOOSE your thoughts, CHOOSE to expect good.  You don’t know what the very next nanosecond will be like, let alone the next hours or days

Why shouldn’t you expect good?  Why not!

Even in the face of difficult circumstances you are still capable of guiding your thoughts and intellect.  You have an unlimited strength from within if you just tap into it.  Expect good to come – if not this instant – soon.

Claim trust back if it’s been dashed by time and circumstance.  Create order in your life and seek transformation to a solution that is good and acceptable to you and others.  There is always order and a silver lining if you can bear the temporary rocky road to get there.  Learn from those times that seem impossible.

You are stronger than you even know.  You may have just been trained to believe you are less than you feel in your heart.  Sometimes criticism from family and peers pierces the heart and acts like a train barreling into your self-esteem.

Esteem means, “respect and admire”.  It seems in life that many people are more apt to be critical and tear down others than to be respectful and admire them.  Perhaps it is because they themselves were treated in that manner.  Perhaps it is because negativity is rampant and people seem sure “the worst is to com”.

BELIEVE THE BEST IS YET TO COME.  DRAW GOOD TO YOU.

EMPOWER YOUR LIFE WITH POSITIVE THOUGHTS. EVEN IF YOU HAVE TO FAIN YOUR BELIEF IN THEM AT FIRST, CREATE NEW BRAIN CELLS AND TEACH YOURSELF TO DO THESE THINGS.

WHY NOT?  THE THOUGHT POLICE HAVEN’T COME TO FRUITION AS YET.  THOUGHT IS STILL ON THE FREE RANGE IF YOU BREAK OUT OF THE PRISON YOU BELIEVE YOU ARE IN.

Don’t believe unwarranted words.  None of us are perfect.  We all make mistakes, but that is part of maturing and learning to choose the best choices for our own lives.   You have a warehouse of “goods” within you, ready to be tapped into at any moment.

Transform your life.

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Once you are able to “exercise” your thoughts, the value of stress management training, yoga, meditation, exercise class, videos, any type of schooling or training, will accelerate to optimum intellectual levels and with a calm demeanor.  Use your oxygen and begin from within you…..today!

Here are five questions for you to honestly answer.

1. Do you want to spend the rest of your life in the mental condition you are in right now / or a worsened condition?

2. Do you want to stress out and wear your heart out faster?

3.  Are you willing to ignore your lack of stress management skills and find yourself in a contentious situation with no resolve in sight?

4.   Do you need to turn to alcohol to “take the edge” off?

That’s a tough one.  The difference between having a drink and depending on it is the crux of this question.   Is that your stress management technique every day?

5.  Do you like the feelings you get in your gut when you have gone past the point of no return and still it’s necessary to “suck it up and shut up”?

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If you answered NO to questions 1,2,3,and 5 (or any of them), it’s time to FIND THE TIME to learn simple stress management techniques

If you answered YES to question four, then you also need to get busy for you, the sake of your family, and your LIFE!

The following five statements are simple management skills and invaluable to use daily.

1.  Use your oxygen mindfully and change your life.  Only a minute or two “a few times” a day will help!  (Previous posts have specific directions and on line practices).  This is the number one and simplest help for you.

2.  When you begin to feel upset or nervous, let a bell ring in your head and think:  “I am in charge of my response.  No matter what the problem, I CAN handle it.”

3.  Take mini-breaks at the computer.  Close your fists tightly and release.  Stand up and move around to get oxygen flowing. Open and close your eyes several times, and rub your fingertips together until they get warm and place them on your eyes for a moment.  Take a breath!  ANY or all of these things can help instantly.

4.  Don’t let the “momentary” stress STEAL your joy.   One guarantee in life is that EVERYTHING changes – and can in the blink of an eye – so be patient and calm and remember, “this too shall pass”……

5.  SMILE more often.  Practice it.  Even if you don’t think there is anything to make you smile, do it.  You will find that simply smiling will automatically elevate your spirit.  Even if you smile simply because it seems to be silly to smile for nothing, do it!

Now CREATE A WONDERFUL day for YOU and those in the circle of your life.

Technology has provided us with some awesome things – a plethora of websites to get information from, emails, blogs, YouTube videos, music, current news (past news too), the weather, and a never-ending line of opinions, photos, movies and games.  This is NOT a complete list.

You may be literally fatigued from it all.  You may find your nerves are shredded by all the stimuli, and the things you feel you must check out in a day’s time.

For all the wonderful things available you may find you are squandering your time and lower your productivity.  Keep in mind many of the above mentioned things should be done in your “free” time – excluding, of course, the family, school, your workload, aging parents, and the myriad of other demands in this twenty-first century living.

All Americans are vulnerable to finding themselves more stressed out than ever and really overwhelmed with it all.  You may be facing the limit of your human ability to cope with all the stimuli in your environment

With this entire happening, what may be worse is you find your coping mechanisms are becoming less effective, and your stress level increasing.  No matter how you multitask, your list just seems to grow.

By the end of each day you may emerge with eyestrain and having accomplished nothing much at all.   You have been distracted by all the “input”, and we haven’t even mentioned continuous advertisements on television, the radio, newspapers and magazines – along with non-stop “hearing distractions, no matter where you are!

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

First thing you can do right now is take a minute.  It won’t kill any project you have begun.  You need mindful oxygen. Stress makes you take shallow breaths…withholding your oxygen.  In turn, you are depleted of what you need to manage your life and make good decisions. Take a breath in slowly through the nose.  Now exhale through the mouth.  Do this several times.

Next you need to really pay attention to the “overall picture”.  It will help to prioritize.  Build a list (doesn’t have to be fancy), but make it honest.  What do you really need to do? .  Ask yourself whether you really are focusing on the right things

Study your habits.  Do not be an accepting and passive consumer of everything that is put in front of you. Tame your appetite.  LIMIT YOUR INPUT!  Open-ended cruising of all that is offered WILL cause you ultimately to lose track of your goals, and your time, which is your life!

If you sleep eight hours a night you still have three hundred and fifty thousand waking minutes of each you.  Now compute how many minutes a week you truly spend passively reading and hearing “stuff”?   You can waste so much time following fluff.  How much time do you spend healing you?  How many minutes with the family and loved ones?  How many minutes to breathe and relax?

You want to take down your stress level?  Tame your wild stallion and pick and choose the most wonderful ways to spend your minutes and hours. Laugh with someone, pray with someone, walk alone to the top of a hill and sing.  Hug like it feels inside; shake hands with a hearty and warm grasp. Fly a kite.  Splash around in the small puppy pool with the puppy.  Go outside and get on a bike and ride it.  There isn’t an age limit!

Or if you are actually not supposed to be taking time to read this, then bravo.  You took a minute or two to change your life.

Now take in a deep breath and think:  I feel better. Turn your hands up and exhale through the mouth and SEE your negativity, and any unresolved issues, fly from your head to your arms and out the fingertips.

May you think in order to be happier, you need more than you have right now – more money, more love, more freedom, more friends, etc. etc. etc.  Simply by thinking in these terms, you may be downsizing your sense of well being, and your own happiness!

Admittedly, evidence shows that genetics contribute to about fifty percent of your happiness set point.  However, that is a far cry from one hundred percent.

If you want less stress and you want to be happier, you must do two things.  You must make a commitment and an effort (as with any meaningful goal in life).  Maybe you won’t go to to a “ten” in happiness, but you surely will become happier!

Many people think stress takes happiness away.  It does.  So what do you do?  You change your attitude and expect happiness to be headed your direction – no matter what

Happiness is not a lover (though that does add to happiness).

It is not marriage, money, or a new destination.   These things contribute to your happiness, but not nearly as much as you might think

Lasting happiness has more to do with simply racking up pleasure experiences or material things…it has more to do with how you behave and think – and these things ultimatelycontrol more than many of life’s circumstances.

Here’s an idea:  help someone else by volunteering or being kind, or generous with your actions.  There is a report of feelings called a “helper’s high” and many people who follow this path even find an alleviation of aches and pains.

Diversion from your own stress and pain can truly add to your happiness.  If you can do something to help someone else, your happiness will accelerate.

In finding that “joy of giving”, you will find your stress diminishing.  Part of the problem with stress is that is you pay attention to it; let you get overwhelmed with it, it will get worse!

Do something that is meaningful to you.  If you do, the activity can promote a sense of gratitude, connectedness, forgiveness or optimism.  If what you do means something to you it will be most successful.

If you want to be happy schedule time to do something outside of your own “self-needs”.  Assess your strengths and develop practices that are best used for these endeavors.

Something as simple as a call to express love, or saying thank you with a robust feeling behind it, will begin the new journey.

Always you must use your oxygen.  If these posts repeat this over and over again, it is because it is the number one stress management technique to use.

Take a breath.  Think about this.  Do something this weekend.

You never know unless you try.  CREATE a happy and beautiful weekend!

You know you need it, but there is always a reason (or justification) to enable you to “wait till things settle down” to begin to learn how to manage your stress.

So many people, who desperately NEED help, are simply in denial.

“I don’t have time.”  “I can’t afford classes.”  “I just can’t!”

Don’t be one of those folks who begin to seek help and then just put it off until another day.  Don’t wind up having a heart attack.  It happens more often than you think, with stress that is not managed, a huge factor in causing the problem.

Heart disease kills more people in the USA than any other stress related disease or medical issue.  Cancer is next in the line of our biggest killers.  Many scientists and medical practitioners are now admitting that there is high probability that stress has been the initiator of many of these fatalities.

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“Coronary heart disease is also much more common in individuals subjected to chronic stress and recent research has focused on how to identify and prevent this growing problem, particularly with respect to job stress. In many instances, we create our own stress that contributes to coronary disease by smoking and other faulty lifestyles or because of dangerous traits like excess anger, hostility, aggressiveness, time urgency, inappropriate competitiveness and preoccupation with work.”

The American Institute of Stress

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It is time for you to begin to manage your stress. This day is yours – CREATE a beautiful one for yourself and those around you.

Quick Tips

THINK before you speak. Take a breath and it will spark your intellect, RELAX and regenerate you, simultaneously.

Remember words are sharper than any knife and they pierce the heart.  Once you speak them you cannot erase them in the mind of the person to whom you were speaking.  Do not allow yourself to respond negatively for it will simply increase the stress already present.

Take THIS opportunity to tell someone you love or appreciate him or her.  The feeling YOU get when you pass love or a positive thought to someone will help dissipate your negative thoughts.  You will also find a positive response to you can elevate your peace.

Make these moments of value and the worth of your actions will ultimately come back to benefit you! It always works… The things you think, and the way you breathe!

The things that you think within, words you speak, and the quality of your oxygen will ultimately become your life and health. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF WHERE YOU GO FROM HERE.

Breathe and think positively. Teach your brain to create those “cell impressions” from which you can empower yourself simply through your thoughts. Ultimately, if you are consistent, your body physiology will be changed for the good.

Put aside any doubt and release any tendency to “make things work out” or to force an outcome. Open your thoughts and your life to the source of all intelligence and let go of worry.

Worry changes nothing for the better. The only thing worry does is increase in increments and cause more worry, more problems, and more stress.  Worry affects us physically in a negative manner and it changes nothing!

Spend time on thoughts that are positive and quality and you will draw those things positive to you. Be mindful of your oxygen intake, and as you exhale send all those negative thoughts into oblivion.

If you think I may be repeating some things simply phrased a bit differently – I am!  Repetition is the key to learning.  Once you have created these new brain cell impressions your “new way of thinking and speaking” will become second nature.

What is the past is the past. The future is but a “hope for the best”.  The moments you have are now. Make them of value to you and those in the circle of your life.  You are in charge.

If you want – really want – to change your life, take that yoga class you’ve thought of joining.  Join a group to help one another. Buy stress management tapes and CD’s.  Go to a therapist!  Get more help on line.  Be the master of your future and get help now!

Now take a deep and mindful breath and visualize wonderful oxygen regenerating you and relaxing you.  When you exhale visualize all the negativity and unresolved worries fly from your fingertips into oblivion.