Stress Management Magic

Welcome to the tedious and distracting overload provided by technology.  Some refer to it as the “Attention Crisis”.

Technology has provided us with some awesome things – a plethora of websites to get information from, emails, blogs, YouTube videos, music, current news (past news too), the weather, and a never-ending line of opinions, photos, movies and games.  This is NOT a complete list.

You may be literally fatigued from it all.  You may find your nerves are shredded by all the stimuli, and the things you feel you must check out in a day’s time.

For all the wonderful things available you may find you are squandering your time and lower your productivity.  Keep in mind many of the above mentioned things should be done in your “free” time – excluding, of course, the family, school, your workload, aging parents, and the myriad of other demands in this twenty-first century living.

All Americans are vulnerable to finding themselves more stressed out than ever and really overwhelmed with it all.  You may be facing the limit of your human ability to cope with all the stimuli in your environment

With this entire happening, what may be worse is you find your coping mechanisms are becoming less effective, and your stress level increasing.  No matter how you multitask, your list just seems to grow.

By the end of each day you may emerge with eyestrain and having accomplished nothing much at all.   You have been distracted by all the “input”, and we haven’t even mentioned continuous advertisements on television, the radio, newspapers and magazines – along with non-stop “hearing distractions, no matter where you are!

SO WHAT CAN YOU DO?

First thing you can do right now is take a minute.  It won’t kill any project you have begun.  You need mindful oxygen. Stress makes you take shallow breaths…withholding your oxygen.  In turn, you are depleted of what you need to manage your life and make good decisions. Take a breath in slowly through the nose.  Now exhale through the mouth.  Do this several times.

Next you need to really pay attention to the “overall picture”.  It will help to prioritize.  Build a list (doesn’t have to be fancy), but make it honest.  What do you really need to do? .  Ask yourself whether you really are focusing on the right things

Study your habits.  Do not be an accepting and passive consumer of everything that is put in front of you. Tame your appetite.  LIMIT YOUR INPUT!  Open-ended cruising of all that is offered WILL cause you ultimately to lose track of your goals, and your time, which is your life!

If you sleep eight hours a night you still have three hundred and fifty thousand waking minutes of each you.  Now compute how many minutes a week you truly spend passively reading and hearing “stuff”?   You can waste so much time following fluff.  How much time do you spend healing you?  How many minutes with the family and loved ones?  How many minutes to breathe and relax?

You want to take down your stress level?  Tame your wild stallion and pick and choose the most wonderful ways to spend your minutes and hours. Laugh with someone, pray with someone, walk alone to the top of a hill and sing.  Hug like it feels inside; shake hands with a hearty and warm grasp. Fly a kite.  Splash around in the small puppy pool with the puppy.  Go outside and get on a bike and ride it.  There isn’t an age limit!

Or if you are actually not supposed to be taking time to read this, then bravo.  You took a minute or two to change your life.

Now take in a deep breath and think:  I feel better. Turn your hands up and exhale through the mouth and SEE your negativity, and any unresolved issues, fly from your head to your arms and out the fingertips.

This post on stress is in the category of “Author Unknown”, but it is so exceptional that it was almost mandatory to post it!  It is witty in places, but also has great wisdom. It is worth a few moments of your time to read.

If you are sincerely searching for management techniques for your stress, take the time to read whatever your hand and mouse take you to on the web.  You’ll know within seconds if it is something that will guide you to better days.  If there is any doubt – read the information again.

Knowledge is power and using that knowledge can change your life!

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“A lecturer, when explaining stress management to an audience, raised a glass of water and asked, ‘How heavy is this glass of water?’  Answers called out ranged from 20grams to 500 grams.  The lecturer replied,  ‘The absolute weight doesn’t matter.  It depends on how long you try to hold it.  If I hold it for a minute it’s not a problem.  If I hold it for an hour, I’ll have an ache in my right arm.  If I hold it for a day, you’ll have to call an ambulance.  In each case, it’s the same weight, but the longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.’”

“He continued, ‘and that’s the way it is with stress management.  If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, the burden will become increasingly heavy, and we won’t be able to carry on.  As with the glass of water, you have to put it down for a while and rest before holding it again.  When you are refreshed, you can carry on with the burden.’”

“So before you return home tonight, put the burden of work down:  don’t carry it home.  You can pick it up tomorrow.”

” Whatever burdens you are carrying now, let them down for a moment if you can.  Put down anything that may be a burden to you right now.  Don’t pick it up until after you’ve rested a while.”

“Here are some great ways of dealing with the burdens of life:  Just accept that, some days, you are the pigeon, and some days you are the statue.  Always keep your words soft and sweet – just in case you have to eat them. ”

“Always wear something that makes you look good, you might die in it.  Drive with care, it’s not only cars that can be ‘recalled’ by their maker.  If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.”

“It you lend someone twenty dollars and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.  It may be that your single purpose in life is simply to be kind to others.  Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won’t have a leg to stand on.”

“Nobody cares if you can’t dance well, just get up and dance.  Since it’s the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.  When everything is coming your way, you are probably in the wrong lane.  Birthdays are good for you.  The more you have, the longer you live.”

“You may not be the only one person in the world, but you may be the world to one person.  Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.  Others are too disastrous to ever make again. ”

“A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour.”

“We could learn a lot from crayons….some are sharp, and some are dull.  Some have pretty colors and all have color of some sort; some have weird names, but they all have to live in the same box.”

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Enjoy your day.  Enjoy the challenges before you, and don’t forget you have a secret weapon to help your relax, regenerate and think more intelligently….USE YOUR OXYGEN MINDFULLY AND OFTEN!

Are they difficult and unreasonable, or just normal?

The first stress management tip for YOU is to SLOW DOWN a moment, and take a breath or two.  Remember you were a teenager once and you and your parents probably (we hope) survived all the challenges!

It’s not easy being a parent to a teenager, but if you can recall – it’s not easy being a teenager either.  To say that living with a teen is a mix of soap operas, frantic moments, and last minute projects, is just skimming the surface of all that is involved.

Did you know that there are really scientific explanations for the emotional outbursts and sitcom scenarios?  New studies have found that the frontal lobe, the brain region responsible for impulse control and good judgment, is the last part of the brain to mature.

Until the individual is about twenty-five what is active within the brain is the more primitive amygdala, which governs instinct and emotion that tends to rule behavior and decision-making.  This is a tough reality, and means there is long time between the “urge to take a risk” stage, and the “ability to resist” stage.  If you’ve ever looked at your teen and thought, “What were they thinking?” they were probably thinking exactly as the maturing of the brain of the teenage normally progresses.  They are vulnerable to errors associated with the normal brain functioning.

Teen’s brain doesn’t mature as quickly as the bodies do.  You may look at your son or daughter and see the appearance of what seems to resemble an adult, but there is still a little boy or girl upstairs who is directing all the action!  With that fact kept in mind, the next time you look at your child, remember you are dealing with a child who only has the appearance of an adult.

There is also a difference between intelligence and brain maturity, so even a very bright student can do stupid things, especially in social situations.  When emotions come into play, teens can-and will-make poor decisions.  It happens to the best of “mature” adults.

You may think what you say has no influence over children, but studies show this to be untrue.  Although you may want to run out the door screaming occasionally, experts say it is critical that parents maintain a strong presence during adolescent years, and serve rather as a temporary frontal lobe for teens.

Sometimes (keep this in mind as it is important) you may think your teen is purposely tuning you out or not following your instructions.  What happens more often than not is poor communication between you and your teen – simply a misinterpretation about what was said.

New research suggests that teens have trouble reading and understanding emotions in other people, and responding appropriately.  Remember that primitive amygdala is currently in the driver’s seat.  Encourage your teens to repeat what you’ve said so you know they haven’t misunderstood you.

Let the teens know about this research mentioned earlier, and acknowledge you know they are doing the best they can.  Tell them to just slow down and consider the consequences before making important decisions.  You are giving them the opportunity to think twice, and nurturing a partnership during this difficult time.

Remember they are working hard in school, have the appearance of a young adult, but are just now coming into a WORLD of new experiences.  Their emotions and sexuality are immerging.  Their body is changing, and their fear of failure and insecurity about body image and appearance are a mixed up bag that would be difficult for ANY young person to handle without a few challenges.  Pick your battles.  If the subject matter is life-threatening, then stick with it; otherwise, be choosy and allow your teen to make some decisions.

Remember you love them and you are their mentors and guides to this whole new world.  With all that can be intimidating for teens to learn, and the instability of our civilization and world right now, be a rock for your teen.  Be real.  Talk to them.  Keep the communication line open.

It would be REALLY aiming towards stress management with them, if you could share a class in breathing, or pursue some stress management techniques to help them with their demands in life -  and school – and help you, too, along the way.

There will be defining moments for your child’s entire life during the teen years.  He or she will often be at a crossroads and need guidance only you can give them.  Though it seems less than a desirable job at times, pat yourself on the back as you are molding a human being for their entire life on this planet.  The job is very important!  Don’t give up:  “This too shall pass”.   Now do a bit of mindful breathing.  Stand up and stretch, and begin your moments of life again.

Stress “Unmanaged” Will cause violence in a staggering number of people. It is almost inevitable!

Whether we choose to believe it or not, stress unmanaged will ultimately cause violence in many people.  Domestic violence, abuse towards children, intimate partners, (regardless of gender) and the elderly is on the rise.

Stress unmanaged can change of the body chemistry and can do can do infinite damage to credible brain function management. Anger causes words to cut to the heart, and actions to damage the recipient for his or her entire life in many circumstances.

Don’t be fooled.  Don’t be naïve.

There is a boiling point for water and for human emotions.  Whether the water stays in the pot or boils over, ultimately that, which is in the circumference of the pot, can be damaged or ruined entirely. .

Such is it with human behavior. Consequences of unmanaged stresses inflict suffering and can be life threatening.

Family conflicts are usually the result of stresses created in dysfunctional families.  Low levels of family conflict are warning signs for families that they are at risk of much greater abuse.  Any family member may intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the escalation of violence.

Stress is often created by feelings of hopelessness and or helplessness.  Other things that add to that could be excessive work hours, financial strain, and alcohol or drug abuse.

Personality disorders and/or early traumatic life experiences often predispose people to use violence in their own family relationships as adults.

Arguments created by stress can escalate.  Spontaneous arguments can lead to threats or actual physical assaults…without specific patterns, but they almost invariably escalate to more serious and injurious physical assaults.

We like to think “things” will resolve, or time will pass to “make it better”. For those individuals with particular personality traits or particular body chemistry, the danger lurks in close proximity to all who are near.

If YOU or someone near you is within the perimeters of this description, do something! Whether it be finding counsel (and if it is for YOU – please – do it now!) or just talking with family to consider action.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY>not just for the individual, but also for all who may tread in the same path, either by coincidence, or choice.

It YOU one of the people referred to in the paragraphs above, PLEASE take a slow breathe now in though the nose.  Now exhale slowly through the mouth.  Please do it again several times.

The added oxygen will calm you and help you to think more rationally, and remember, you have already taken the first step towards helping yourself by searching the Internet!  Don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  Connect with someone – perhaps a local group that deals with anger management.  Take time for yourself – you can’t afford not to do so!

If you are totally overwhelmed and need help and don’t know who to turn to you can email:  mo@jett.net.You are not alone.