Stress Management Magic

TENSION creates a “Stress Triangle”  Neck – Head – Shoulders

When you are stuck in traffic you can feel the tension rising.

The kids are arguing and it’s getting irritating.

Work has been unusually hard and your peers haven’t helped.

These are just a few of the tension scenarios that can cause your shoulders to be tense, your neck to ache, your head to feel as if it is going to blow off your neck.  These three areas are the places where we hold much of our tension-the “stress triangle”, a phrase coined elsewhere, but absolutely correct.

Learning to release the tension in these muscles can really help us relax and de-stress.

Find the areas in need of help

If you place your right hand on your left shoulder, and move your fingers halfway in toward your neck, you are at one point of the triangle.  The second point is the same place off your right shoulder.  The third point is on your forehead, between your eyes.

Why tense muscles hurt

Muscles tighten to protect you!  That’s right.  We are talking about the muscles preparing for the “fight or flight” scenario.

But you don’t need that protection for everyday stresses.  When your muscle shortens, and then holds that position, waste products from muscle activity get trapped (metabolites).  This causes pain.  The pain is released when the muscle regains its natural length by relaxing.

Stretch away tension – TRY IT RIGHT NOW!

The following simple stretches can help relieve tightness in your “stress triangle.”  Always remember when you do these stretches that mindful breathing aids in the relaxation process.

1.  Neck roll.  Stretch your right ear to you right shoulder, keeping your left shoulder pulled down.  Roll you head down so you chin is on your chest.  Continue on to your left side.  Do rolls from side to side.  Begin with eight, build up to sixteen.

2.  Shoulder shrug.  Using one shoulder at a time, draw big circles.  Do two or three to start, and build up to eight times, going forward, then back.

3.  Pick Fruit.  With one hand, reach up as if you are picking fruit from an apple tree slightly ahead and far above you.  Go from one arm to the other, building up to eight times on each side.

4.  Self-massage.  Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder, and your left hand to massage your right shoulder.

Work your fingers gently, but firmly, beginning with your shoulder blade and moving up toward the neck. Include the scalp in this mini-massage.  Use your oxygen to help the relaxation.

5.  Standing body roll.  Let your head roll forward until your chin is on your chest.  Keep rolling down as your knees begin to bend.  When your hands are hanging near your knees, rest there a moment and slowly roll back up.  Work up to ten times.

A welcome release of tension

At home, at work, or wherever you are, just take a few moments to do one or all of these simple stretches.  Use them once an hour if you feel tension mounting.  After doing these a few times, and comparing the different feeling of tense muscles verses relaxed muscles, you will absolutely feel like it’s well worth it for a few minutes of your time.  You will feel better and prevent tension from building up in your body

Don’t forget to use your oxygen as an additional aid to your relaxation and management of stress. You will like the results!

You now have secret weapons of “oxygen savvy” and “simple movements” to enhance your day – every hour, if you choose!  Improve work, and your family life.

Get in the habit of caring for YOU and CREATE an awesome day.  The power to help YOU begins with one exercise. Exercise your mind with these simple beginnings.

*Don’t forget to enter our contest.  It’s easy, free, and has some great prizes! *

Just CLICK on “contest” in upper left-hand corner…and have fun!

Anger is defined as strong emotions:  wrath, aggravation, being annoyed, bothered, exasperated, furious, irritated, outraged, and antagonized.  If you are reading this there is a reason.  Please take a few slow breaths of oxygen as you continue.  Inhale slowly and exhale slowly.  You are on the right path.

The emotions, INCLUDING “a sense of injury” and a desire to retaliate, (which are sometimes disguised, even to the individual who is angry) can be dangerous emotions.   You can be almost out of control.  It happens to millions of people. However, if anger is left unmanaged, the anger can escalate to violence, and the loss of control for one moment, has the potential to destroy your life and perhaps someone else’s!  This is not an exaggeration. Statistics are a witness to acts of violence and the consequences paid.

If you feel your anger is tipping the scales, please answer the follow questions honestly.

1.  What does anger REALLY resolve?

2.  Do you REALLY want to devastate your body chemistry?

3.  Do you REALLY have good reason to hurt family, friends, and peers?

4.  Can you think of more appropriate ways to handle the situations?

5.  Is your anger REALLY aimed at someone else, or is it yourself?

Fact: Anger does not resolve anything. When you feel angry leave the room.  Go to someplace alone and do two things.  Take for to five deep breaths slowly and exhale slowly.  This concentrating on getting increased oxygen will divert your attention from the problem, for the moment.  It actually has a calming effect on your mind and body.

Fact:  When you are angry just once in a while, though the chemicals in your body are thrown into an abnormal state, the damage is not permanent.  When you get angry all the time you actually are setting yourself up for disaster, both physically, and mentally.

Fact:  While breathing to calm down, say a short prayer, or mantra several times.  Examples:  “God please help me to calm down.” or “I feel calm now.”  Say whatever you choose to help several times.

Fact:  Your angry words can cut like a knife and ultimately are capable of destroying any relationship.  Angry words lead to angry actions.  Since we are creatures of habit, if you ALLOW this anger to control you, you are jeopardizing everyone in your circle of life – including you!  Heart attacks have happened because of this negative habit!

There are better ways to handle tough scenarios.  Take a time out for finding your intellect instead of relying on emotions.  Walk away.  Seek counseling.

Have a family meeting and set rules.  There is always a better way than “lack of self-control.”

Fact:   Think of this.  Sometimes your anger may actually be misguided frustration in handling a situation that is either out of your control, or out of the realm of you actually knowing what to do.  It happens!  Anger at one’s self can be twisted and manifest as anger to another.

If you have a child, you may have felt anger when you couldn’t locate the child for a time.  Perhaps he or she was only playing somewhere out of your sight, but by the time you discovered the child your pent up WORRY had turned into anger; actually kind of a retaliation towards the child for your discomfort.

There are reasons to be angry, but do not let the anger destroy your life and ruin the lives of the people around you.  There are men and women in prison for the rest of their lives for that moment of anger that was mismanaged.

Exercise your brain to think of a way to get out of this useless “anger pit” before you dig your way into a grave.  PRACTICE new thoughts.  Even if you don’t feel satisfied at first, you must continue to try to create more positive brain cells.  If you must, take a pillow and beat it!  Get a punching bag and use it until you are exhausted, and calmer.  Go for a run.  There are alternatives to anger.

PLEASE – IF YOU NEED HELP – AND YOU KNOW IT INNATELY – GET HELP BEFORE IT ESCALATES!  There are anger management classes, social service organizations, and many other places to seek help.  Talk to someone at a church.  There is help available.

Right now:  take in a slow, deep breath (through the nose).  Hold it a few seconds remembering this will physically help to calm you down.  Exhale (through the mouth) and visualize that anger subsiding as you get rid of the carbon dioxide.  Do this again slowly.  YOUR MIND AND BODY WILL RESPOND WITH A CALMER YOU, CAPABLE OF RESPONDING AND NOT REACTING.

Anger out of control can lead to violence.  Violence can lead to irreparable damage.  In many cases anger can, and has been a straight path to jail!  Think about it and see help now if you feel out of control rage.  PLEASE!

Fear is an emotion we’ve all felt at one time or another!

Fear translates simply into “anticipation” of something bad happening. It is the emotion that makes you feel within that danger lurks close by, and is a threat to you, whether it be physical pain or something else.

Fear can be a positive emotion that reminds you to take care of yourself. Keep in mind, however, fear without restraint that becomes habitual, is dangerous and serves no purpose in resolving anything.

Listen to your feelings, take good care of yourself, and keep your emotions in proportion to the situation by keeping an appropriate perspective.

Being fearful of the future is pointless.  No one can know what will happen ten minutes from now, not even the very next moment.  A better approach to seeing the future would be to anticipate the good that you desire in your life and the lives of those around you.  It is a choice.

No matter what stress you are dealing with at the moment, life can change radically, and without notice. What you have feared may happen you may never see in reality.  Over ninety percent of what you fear will never come to fruition.

Visualization

The ability to visualize with colorful and vivid images, rich imagination and detailed action are natural skills of childhood.  Somewhere along the path between childhood and becoming an adult many people are so overwhelmed with life itself, and so plummeted with “information and responsibilities” that the skills are tucked somewhere in the back of the mind

Visualization skills can be very useful in empowering people to overcome

obstacles in their lives.  FEAR is at the forefront of the list that can be a major obstacle to progress. .  When fear is corralled you will find everything will improve.

Learn to be rational

Man is endowed with the capacity to reason.  We are capable of thinking clearly, sensibly, and logically. Oftentimes, though, our emotions run wild with us and information processed with that thinking disables our ability to manage our thoughts and actions, our ability to use intellect proportionately with our emotions as needed.

When your fear level goes up your ability to think rationally trends downward to the point where you can act in ways inappropriate to the situation.  Being fearful does not indicate there is anything wrong with you since, everyone feels afraid of a wide variety of things, but when fear takes over your life or becomes prevalent in situations where it isn’t appropriate, that is where you should take control.  Learning to be in control of yourself is an important skill to learn and will serve you well all your life.

There are numerous ways to learn to overcome fear.  Stress management videos, classes, and corporate training seminars are only a few ways to help yourself loose this useless appendage.  Take advantage of help available.

But always remember, your number one point of empowerment when fear overrides rational thought is to BREATHE!  You brain needs fifty percent more oxygen for your brain to function optimally.  Use it.

Unmanaged, it is life threatening!

The corrosive hormones sent coursing through the blood, and the aggravations not managed well in life, over the years, (University of California, San Francisco study) triggers damage at the cellular level.  The damage is LIFE ALTERING.  Some of the loss includes depression, heart disease, obesity, rage that causes heart attacks, loss of relationships and family, and the list goes on!

STRESSES never end.  They are a part of life. Whether they are good stresses or bad ones, stress is a part of all our lives, and will be until the day we breathe our last breath.

That is why we absolutely must practice “breathing and relaxation” techniques.  – It’s like using a muscle – when you use it, feed it, exercise and stretch it, when you pay attention to it, your muscle becomes stronger, and healthier, and refined in shape and size.  We ARE creatures of habit.  We need to exercise our ability to create new stress management habits.

You can change

You can change your response to any stress by changing your thoughts.  No matter what you have been through, or experienced, changing your thoughts can alter your way of handling and dealing with events.  You can do this by replacing certain thought patterns with other thought patterns.

Whatever thought patterns dominate your thinking will determine not only your future thoughts, but also the very quality of your life experience.  Therefore, what you think is extremely important!

A product of your environment

Your thoughts are often a product of your environment. The people around you, the physical environment around you, the things around you (TV, books, newspapers, magazines, movies, the internet), all affect the way you think.

You can change the way you think by changing those things around you and your relationship to those things. You must be willing to do it.

No one method of an application of techniques to manage stress will handle all stress, but once you will find your own path, and begin to achieve your goals, you will FEEL BETTER. You will accept the challenges of life’s stresses with a new perspective.  It will happen!

You must switch negative thoughts to positive ones; changing from “I can’t” to “I can.”  You must be willing to try change, and willing to repeat what you are learning until it becomes a natural part of you that clicks into gear without even trying.

There are many modems of learning techniques.  This site is one, and there are hundreds more available.  Join a class to learn techniques, buy a video and watch it faithfully, find a personal consultant, meet with family members experiencing similar difficulties, or join a group seeking the same goals.

Any step you take is WONDERFUL!   A baby step is better than no step at all.  This is YOUR LIFE!

“What exactly does that mean?” you may ask.

It means simply that while you may be an expert at managing all the tasks at hand – whether it means completing a report at the office, finishing a term paper, or multi-tasking for three or four school age children, who have different directions to go, you don’t know how to manage yourself!

You may feel an overload of stress and rather overwhelmed, but you make sure everything is done to the best of your ability. The stressors mount and you pile them neatly within your mind, to deal with later, “when you have time”.

The disaster comes when a “trigger” sets of a string of emotions, in motion, and you have not yet to learned to manage you!

Negative stress is DISTRESS.  Distress causes failure.  Overworking and not coping can destroy your life.  We all experience distress from time to time, it is normal, and unavoidable part of living, but long term chronic stress is positively dangerous and can lead to severe mental and physical disability.

The good news is that you are actively seeking help or you wouldn’t be reading this post right now.  That is an excellent beginning.

Follow up with the same kind of plan you would improvise for work, or school, or the family.  Self-management is an essential skill to deal with all your psychological and physical stress.

Take the time to set you own personal goals.  Create clear goals for everything from exercise to nutrition.  Make room for a class in meditation or yoga.

Begin to take “mini-breathing” breaks throughout the day.  Just take a minute or two at your convenience, using deep inhalations and slow exhalations, fully exhaling.  As you inhale think: I am regenerating my oxygen machine.”  As you exhale think:  I am releasing negative and limiting thoughts.”

Stretch just a bit throughout the day, as well.  Simple stretches will do.  Arms overhead, hands clasp and stretching forward, gently rolling the head from shoulder to shoulder, pointing the toes and then pressing them back towards your body – any or all of these will really help keep you more relaxed.

Remember that if you fall apart you won’t be any good for anyone!  All those professional and personal dreams will fade away if you don’t care for you!

It doesn’t matter how “warm and fuzzy” you feel towards your children, when they reach pre-teen and teenage years, you will begin to feel the stress mount.

These are the times you children will begin to spread their wings and hone their skills for adulthood.  These are the times they will begin to voice strong opinions and do seemingly arrogant acts of defiance.

Remember these things come with the territory and are natural.  Many times what “appears” to be open resistance to your rules are just a natural spurt of independence, perhaps not performed as optimally you would hope for, but nonetheless, this will happen.

First in the line of defense (for your own intellect and calmness in the situation) – use your secret weapon. Begin breathing deeply and slowly and exhaling in the same manner.  This will calm you and help your brain to get the oxygen for a better response.  Being reminded of our gift of breathing is not a bad thing.  The more you are reminded, and use the gift, the more effectively you will handle the myriad of scenarios that will come.

Parents can make a huge difference in providing guidance and support for their teens.  At times it may not seem like your teen wants you around, and he or she may not all the time, but your child really does need you and knows you care.

Try to spend positive times together.  It’s impossible to love your teen too much.  Try to stay close and warm.  Remember to say, “I love you”.

Of course you have to set limits and structure.  You have to be clear in communication and let the teen know what you expect.  Rules and expectations should change throughout your child’s life, but all children need boundaries, discipline and love – and in that order.

One of the most important things is to be consistent.  Be consistent with your partner, and be consistent if you are alone.  Mixed messages can lead to frustration for parents and children.  The children need consistency to help them to learn to structure their lives.

Try to stay involved in your teen’s life.  Ask questions about school, schoolwork, and friends.  Attend your teen’s extracurricular activities.  Whether they say so or not, they NEED to know you are just as interested in them now as when they were younger.  Meet families of those teens that spend a large portion with your teens.

Explain yourself with discussion – not with yelling and abusive language.  Discuss the reasons for your rules and what consequences they may face for not following them.  Respect your teen and the teen will respect you.

TRY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT not to use HARSH discipline.  Harsh discipline includes yelling, slapping, hitting, and belittling.  If the situation is volatile, take a “break” and each of you pull yourself together and calm down for a while.  Words cut like a knife and you don’t want to regret your years down the road.  Besides, impulsive or reactive behavior just instigates a negative response from your teen and nothing will get accomplished.

Pick your arguments.  There will be many opportunities to disagree, but unless the scenario is life-threatening or really may be a danger to your child, remember they do need to do a certain amount of decision making that is positive and empowering to them.

Your teen is changing.  Physically, emotionally and cognitively, your teen is preparing for life as an adult in a difficult and trying world.  Be patient.  In the long run you will be glad you did.

Keep in mind, these youngsters are experiencing the most stress thus far in their young lives.  Try to be empathetic and remember how difficult it was!

If you need to get help, look for resources locally, and on line.

If you do these things your life and the life of your teen will be one hundred percent better!  Be on the teen’s side from an adult view, not another stumbling block in the path of their maturing.  Remember how much you loved them before this age and still do!

Take a breath and remember:” This too shall pass”.

Stress “Unmanaged” Will cause violence in a staggering number of people. It is almost inevitable!

Whether we choose to believe it or not, stress unmanaged will ultimately cause violence in many people.  Domestic violence, abuse towards children, intimate partners, (regardless of gender) and the elderly is on the rise.

Stress unmanaged can change of the body chemistry and can do can do infinite damage to credible brain function management. Anger causes words to cut to the heart, and actions to damage the recipient for his or her entire life in many circumstances.

Don’t be fooled.  Don’t be naïve.

There is a boiling point for water and for human emotions.  Whether the water stays in the pot or boils over, ultimately that, which is in the circumference of the pot, can be damaged or ruined entirely. .

Such is it with human behavior. Consequences of unmanaged stresses inflict suffering and can be life threatening.

Family conflicts are usually the result of stresses created in dysfunctional families.  Low levels of family conflict are warning signs for families that they are at risk of much greater abuse.  Any family member may intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the escalation of violence.

Stress is often created by feelings of hopelessness and or helplessness.  Other things that add to that could be excessive work hours, financial strain, and alcohol or drug abuse.

Personality disorders and/or early traumatic life experiences often predispose people to use violence in their own family relationships as adults.

Arguments created by stress can escalate.  Spontaneous arguments can lead to threats or actual physical assaults…without specific patterns, but they almost invariably escalate to more serious and injurious physical assaults.

We like to think “things” will resolve, or time will pass to “make it better”. For those individuals with particular personality traits or particular body chemistry, the danger lurks in close proximity to all who are near.

If YOU or someone near you is within the perimeters of this description, do something! Whether it be finding counsel (and if it is for YOU – please – do it now!) or just talking with family to consider action.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY>not just for the individual, but also for all who may tread in the same path, either by coincidence, or choice.

It YOU one of the people referred to in the paragraphs above, PLEASE take a slow breathe now in though the nose.  Now exhale slowly through the mouth.  Please do it again several times.

The added oxygen will calm you and help you to think more rationally, and remember, you have already taken the first step towards helping yourself by searching the Internet!  Don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  Connect with someone – perhaps a local group that deals with anger management.  Take time for yourself – you can’t afford not to do so!

If you are totally overwhelmed and need help and don’t know who to turn to you can email:  mo@jett.net.You are not alone.

It doesn’t have to be that way

Whatever the stress is in your life, you always have the choice of your response to it!  No one is forcing you to be emotionally in turmoil, or out of your mind with worry.

YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE TO EVERY STRESSFUL SCENARIO. You may not think so, but no one “THINKS” in your mind except you. Thoughts become actions.

CREATE a better response to stress, for it will affect you, and those around you.

THINK before you speak. Take a breath and it will spark your intellect.

Remember words are sharper than any knife and they pierce the heart.

Take THIS opportunity to tell someone you love or appreciate him or her.

Make these moments of value.  The worth of your thoughts melding into actions will ultimately come back to benefit you! It always works.

The things that you think, and the quality of your oxygen intake and exhalations will ultimately become your life and health. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF WHERE YOU GO FROM HERE.

Breathe and think positively. Teach your brain to create those “cell impressions” from which you can empower yourself simply through your thoughts. Ultimately, if you are consistent, your body physiology will be changed for the good.

Put aside any doubt and release any tendency to “make things work out” or to force an outcome. Open your thoughts and your life to the source of all intelligence from within you, and let go of worry.

Worry changes nothing for the better. It accomplishes no goals and no resolve. The only thing worry does is increase in increments, and cause more worry, more problems, and affect us physically in a negative manner. HONESTLY!

Spend time on thoughts that are positive and of quality and you will draw those things to you. Be mindful of your oxygen intake, and as you exhale send all those negative thoughts into oblivion.

What is past is past. The future is but a “hope for the best”. The moments you have are now. Make them of value to you and those around you.

If you think this is simplifying the problem…..it is; but the premise “knowledge is power” does materialize unless it is applied.  Use your intellect and begin to make changes and better choices now!

Remember this too; somebody in the world, who doesn’t even know you, really cares!

Does it seem sometimes that stress inducing bad things gang up on you all at once?  You may wonder: “Why me?  Why do all the bad things happen to me!”?

Well they don’t.  We’ve all had pity parties.Many are justified, but they can’t continue you will suffer the consequences.If you make a list of “your bad things” and compare them with someone else’s you are sure to find many people have it worse than you do.  Think about it.

If that thought doesn’t mean much to you because it’s not “you”, then think about this:  you need to rethink what is happening, and respond to it with intellect and calm – for you!.

No matter what happens to you, there is always a different way to see things. The truth is bad things happen to good people.  Every human on this planet has endured at least one crisis, and many people, more than a few of them.

You may not deserve one bad thing to happen to you, but things do happen, and what happens – happens!  The only choice you have is to broaden your perspective, and focus on learning from the incidents, and moving forward.

You may find that years down the road, your life changed for the better because of a specific past trauma.  Your character has been honed and your wisdom too.

If you succumb to today’s trials you’re done!  Even if you haven’t been able to find, to date, the “good” from the past you’ve endured, you will recognize it when it is time.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in!  When something triggers potential negatively charged emotions, take a breath!  If you are new to “the magic”, prior posts tell you how to begin to breathe and manage different stresses in your life.

What you “feel” about circumstances evolve into your life.  The power of thought, when rightly directed, is the key to it all. You will draw all the injury, all the anger, and all the fear to you like a magnet.

Likewise, if you think forgiveness, love, appreciation and hope,

you will draw all the joy and positive thoughts from the world to you.  This will trigger a pattern of blossoming in you.

Negative or positive thoughts, they are probably sparked with the same triggers, simply different interpretations.

Right thought holds the key to every situation. Be regenerated and transformed by your thoughts.  Today is the day.

Choose to create your reality.

When stress is not managed well, you are headed to a potentially parlous journey of poor physical health, and possibly deadly diseases.  The risk you take by ignoring your symptoms of stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed by it, is life threatening.

Without a doubt mental stress unmanaged affects your physical health.

The body is all one thing, a coherent whole, with many different systems and functions.  There is no separation of parts when one is afflicted.

Your thoughts, what goes into the mouth, and how you treat your body all have an effect throughout the body.  Just like when something happens to one member of the family, it affects all the rest of the family, some more than others, but everyone is affected.

It is the same with our bodies.  If there is a tight muscle in the hip for instance, from a corresponding weakness on the opposite side, then that hip is favored because of the tension restricting its motion.  That puts a different strain on the foot, and with the foot in a different position; there will be a strain on other sets of muscles.  This is going to change the body’s general posture, affecting the positions of the internal organs. That, in turn, restricts the nutrition to the organs and changes the excretions and hormonal functions.

The chemical/psychological balance of the person is changed and this affects the individual cells in the body.  As the body and mind are affected, the person will think and feel differently, so he is going to assume still a different posture.  Then there is one more tight area, one more tension, one more cycle.  Everything we do affects all the rest of the body.

Humans are structural, chemical, psychological and spiritual beings.  The primary structure and the natural chemistry work together to influence the psychological, and vice versa.

A problem may exist in any part of an area, and disturbances that arise in other systems may represent the body’s efforts to compensate for the troubled system

To put our body in true balance, we must take into account all aspects of health – structural, mental and nutritional – as well as need for exercise and rest.

You only have one place to live – YOUR BODY.  Your body houses your intellect and your spirit, and will serve you well for many years if you take the time to learn to manage your stress.

Start today for this moment and for a better tomorrow.

Take a breath slowly in through the nose.  As you exhale let the carbon dioxide out slowly.

As you inhale again know you are providing for your LIFE.

As you exhale, picture negative thoughts flying out with your exhalation.

Take care of yourself and you take care of your family and friends.  How much will the works you do count if you find yourself mentally and physically sick from allowing unresolved stress to take control of you?

It’s a choice.