It’s easy to get caught up in all the negativity!  The Tip?

DON’T DO IT!  REFUSE!

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Attitude has been described as “the presence of a hypothetical construct that represents an individual’s degree of like or dislike for a specific target.”

It is actually a personal perspective that can be positive or negative.  Negativity is harmful and definitely not in the realm of being optimistic.  You cannot have a negative attitude without feeling your stress increase. Negativity opens the door for failure.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Our attitude also drives the behavior of our body language. This obvious outward show of our mental attitude is a direct result of either positive or negative thoughts.

One wonderful thing about being a human being is that no matter what the circumstance, we always have a choice in how to respond.

The trick is do not REACT – take a breath and feed your intellect so you will make a better choice in your response. You will also find that if YOU take charge of your “attitude” about any situation, you will be empowered.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Life is just too short to waste a moment being a sour ball. We all have problems. I am no exception. If it’s not a financial problem, health problem, family problem, car problem, or work problem, then it may be a neighbor problem, etc. etc. etc. So what is your choice when problems arrive?

You can opt to be miserable.  Or you can remember to practice thinking in positive terms and remembering that life is about change.  Just when you think you can’t take any more, something changes.

Take a breath.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Remember, it’s your life, so don’t let life’s challenges steal  a moment from you. Don’t let life pass you by while you sink in an ocean of stress.

Start now.

CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT

Take a breath, and when you exhale, let all the problems fly out your fingertips. Do it again. YOU WILL BE IN CHARGE OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR RESPONSE TO LIFE, if you JUST PRACTICE being in charge!

An Old Russian proverb says that repetition is the mother of all learning.  Five times throughout this article you have been reminded through repetition to: CHANGE YOUR ATTITUDE AND CHANGE THE MOMENT.

Your amazing brain has begun to create new brain cell impressions and the next time a scenario arises that asks for

“attitude”, you will remember how you can take charge of the moment by recalling this simple statement.

CREATE a wonderful day!

After studying and teaching stress management for over thirty years, I have some simple but life altering techniques, observations and realizations.

We all have the power to transform the natural stress that comes from living into energy capable of improving our physical and spiritual health

Secret number one is that the essence of life is transformation. These simple words hold the key for changing your life for the better. Join me in transformation and see if it isn’t so.  These are thoughts for the day that can transform your life and the lives of others

Cherish your pets and the lives of all animals.  They are gifts to us and can be dear friends.

When someone asks for a donation, try to give with whatever you can – So many people have been left homeless-and we are not their judges; just their brothers and sisters.

Breathe deeply and mindfully.  Do it again!

Remember to look for all those blessings we take for granted.  The breeze in the trees, the sound of singing birds, the laughter of a child, these are all blessings we can enjoy!

Take a walk. Crunch leaves as they begin to fall from the trees. Watch the changing colors…it’s AWESOME.  Love!

Humble beginnings or wealth from the start, what truly matters are things of the heart.

Take your family for a walk, or just do something spontaneous for fun together.  Love deeply.

Don’t keep yourself in a prison.  Take a break from your electronics and refresh the memory of talking to a real human, or sitting in the sunshine!

Take a breath.  Stretch.  Smile.

Make a point of actually playing with your children while they are small. Catch a fish, catch a ball, and catch precious moments. We are only here for one short period of time.

Watch the sun rise as darkness lifts, watch the sunset.  How many times have you left to see the stars at night or revel in the full moon?  Not enough in a lifetime for me.

If you can’t leave – take a mental vacation.  Even if it’s just for a minute or two, visualize a favorite place.  Listen to the sounds of nature.  Take a breath and use your mind to renew your zest for life.

Cherish the earth.  It is our home.

Cherish your body.  It is the only place your Spirit has to live!

Don’t let the sour expressions or negative attitudes of people affect your day.

Let your light shine through and be grateful for small miracles.  Start a cycle of sharing smiles and positive thoughts.

Say a prayer kneeling, with head bent and a humble heart and God will tend to your needs.

Take a breath and exhale all your negative thoughts.  Create a wonderful weekend for you and those you love!

Every single thought listed on this post is a form of stress management!  Our thoughts guide our actions.  Our actions build our lives.  Make them “right” thoughts and “thoughtful” actions.  It is a choice!

You can do it!

When you thirst, only water will satisfy the need.  Your body needs water to live.  You can survive only minutes without oxygen, and only days without water.  When you deny yourself this wonderful substance even your stress level will increase.  It happens because you NEED water to function optimally; just as you need oxygen.  Without these substances your internal organs cannot function properly, therein causing ultimately, physical ailments.  It’s a domino effect.  If you don’t feel good, it intensifies your stress level.

Even for those of you who think you don’t need much water – you are wrong!

Read on, my friends.  You may be one America’s finest people, but your body may be screaming for water, and yet the mind is not savvy to the value of drinking it for internal health…but internally your mind is also not functioning to peak performance.

Example:  If you don’t put gas and oil in your automobile – they stop running all together at some point.  You can only go for so long and they just quit.

Your body and mind are FINE instruments as long as they are “fed” what they need…which includes good oxygen intake, water, and nutritious foods.  These are the basics, but absolutely necessary.

For a human to stay hydrated, means your body chemistry combines chemically with water molecules. Water molecules are chemically “bound” to another compound or element within your body.

When someone says,” You don’t drink enough water”, they probably care for you!  When you don’t drink enough water various things happen.

First, remember that next to oxygen in the importance of life sustaining things we take into our bodies, water comes in second in importance. That is pretty high in the order of things we need to sustain life! We can live for only minutes without oxygen, and only days without water.

Here is a little known fact. When you don’t get enough water for your internal organs, they begin to take water from other organs. Amazing, eh? The body knows water is to maintain life. Often we don’t realize it

When you don’t get enough fluid in your tissues, your cells start to draw it from your bloodstream. Your blood will thicken (it makes sense – think about it), and it can put a strain on your heart or make you feel weak or light-headed.

For those of us who perspire profusely, you must replenish your fluids frequently; summer heat demands more water.

(When you are overheated, though, never gulp iced cold water rapidly.  It can be injurious.

I’ve heard, “But I don’t like water. It tastes awful.” “I feel like I am drinking nothing and it makes me feel too full.” That can be a blessing for those who want to loose a few pounds. Drink water about a half hour before a meal and you won’t eat as much. Really!

When I first made the transition from wine to water, (only Jesus can turn water to wine:), I would put my ice water in a lovely crystal wine class with some ice and a twist of lemon. It looked lovely and each time I took a sip I thought “Ummmmmmm – no calories, no headache, no organs starving for water, and no guilt!

It worked. I got in the habit and I have over the years always taken a bottle or jug of water with me wherever I go in the summer. It is mandatory.

If you need variety, drink caffeine free sports drinks or iced fruit juices (add water to keep calories down). It’s fun to be creative. I like sparkling water just flavored with a twist of lemon, lime or orange peel.

Fruits and vegetables can supplement some water intake if you eat five servings a day.

Watermelon, cantaloupe, oranges, apples are great examples of those types of juicy fruits. Fruit in the summer is magic. For vegetables, how about tomatoes or carrots?  Be creative.

Lastly, remember ALCOHOL and caffeinated drinks deplete your water supply.

This body will work for you for years and years, and in great health, if you just treat it with as much respect and care as you do an automobile. The requirements are easy, not as costly as auto repair, and will absolutely make you feel better!

You may not think so at first, but give it time and THINK: If I do the right things for my body and mind my spirit will function better too, and my health will improve. That is simply the physiology of the body!

Now get up and stretch a bit, walk out to the kitchen and get a glass of water (doesn’t have to be huge-just frequent). It is the nectar of God and a great healer!

There are many outstanding websites dedicated to introduce readers to the “why” of stress, it’s causes, and the management of it.  Each has a quantity of excellent information, and the majority of it is credible information. This is an amazing gift.

Stress Management Magic is unique, however, because our goal is to address specific and current challenges we all face in the area of stress management – not tomorrow – but today!

We teach techniques and work with you right online to begin to learn to change your life to one of peace and happiness amidst all the turmoil of 2010.

The time to begin learning to manage stress is not when you can squeeze in a day to think about it.  It is not when you can afford go to a class to practice or pay for a personal trainer. The time is NOW.

Begin now, and with our guidance, within a few short weeks, and perhaps sooner, if you will dedicate small increments of time throughout the day, you will find your world changing.

We offer food for thought on how to handle stressors such as anger, depression, divorce, loss of employment, financial challenges, and aging

We offer tips on improving relationships, managing stress at work, and dealing with a myriad of stress inducing scenarios.

Through posts we work on improving your child/parent relationship, communication skills, and on even improving your own health.

Our goal is simple.  We want you to learn techniques you can use anywhere and anytime.  WHY?  Because, we all have a right to be happy and at peace, and teaching the basic’s should NOT cost a penny!  You have a right as a human being to know how to use innate gifts for your benefit.

If then you choose to join a meditation class, a yoga class, another stress management program, or any other method to “enhance” what you’ve learned here, then bravo!

LET’S GET STARTED!

Take a slow breath in through the nose.  Your additional oxygen will relax and regenerate you simultaneously.  That is how the body works.

Exhale through the mouth, clearing carbon dioxide and making room for more oxygen.

Again, inhale slowly (think: I am feeling better).  Exhale  slowly (think:  I release my negative feelings).

Inhale slowly – exhale slowly.

Do this mindful breathing two or three times. ANY time of day when you feel stress beginning to mount, slow it down by doing this breathing.  Whether you think it will help or not – do it!  You are an oxygen machine, and this is the way the body works. You increase stress by not giving muscles, ligaments, and tendons needed oxygen.  Your brain needs fifty percent more oxygen to think optimally.

If you dareJ……..Push back the chair, and stand up for a moment.  Stretch your arms up to the ceiling and take a breath.  The natural response to a stressful situation is to hold our breaths.  This increases our anxiety as we are oxygen machines and need to breathe!  (You are not ignoring your job:  you are refining your intellect and maintaining a relaxed demeanor to do a better job!

Twist your body a bit.  Lift each leg and rotate your ankle in a few circles.   Wiggle your toes.  Stretch your fingers out and then crunch them together.  Now take another deep inhalation and exhalation.

If peers or family give you a strange inquiring look, just let them know you are taking a mini-management minute to improve your performance and regenerate a bit.  It does work.

When you resume your position, just before beginning the task before you, take another deep breath and give yourself a mental pat on the back.

It’s your life, your body, and your right to keep it finely tuned!  Onward and upward.

The first step is to take a deep and mindful plug of oxygen into your oxygen machine!  When in difficult situations, whether it’s loosing a database, or perhaps facing a screaming combatant, we actually hold our breaths.  Think about it.  In turn our muscles, tendon and ligaments begin to tighten.

Instinctively we are preparing for the “fight or flight” syndrome and our stance becomes that of preparing for defense.  By unconsciously holding our breath we cut off our needed oxygen supply to make a more rational decision.  Our brains need fifty percent more oxygen to think optimally.

We need to put aside any doubt and release any tendency to “make things work out” or to force an outcome.

There is unlimited and abundant energy and you are in charge of whether it is positive or negative.

One of the most important exercises in managing stress is to expect the unexpected, and keep a habit of storing in your brain the belief that we are able to handle whatever happens to us!

None of us knows from moment to moment what our lives will challenge us with next.  In order to begin to manage stress we must be flexible to the idea that a new challenge may pop up, one we never dreamed would happen, and that no matter what we will meet the challenge.

The next step to begin real management of stress is to REFUSE to be negative and affirm, “I am getting better.  The situation will resolve with my calm perseverance.”  No matter how you feel at the time, whether you believe it or not, your positive affirmations make the statements true.

As you speak the words the body responds with positive energy growing and healing.  You will create brain cell impressions that reinforce your words. Do this repeatedly and you will find at some point that the thoughts automatically come to fruition in your mind and you will find a positive resolve with peace and the use of your own calm intellect.  It will happen!

Now take a few deep breaths and when you exhale remember your exhalations are making room for more wonderful oxygen to think optimally. Visualize all the negativity flying from your fingertips into oblivion and use your inhalations as a power surge for the mind and the body.  CREATE a wonderful day for yourself and those around you!

Here are five questions for you to honestly answer.

1. Do you want to spend the rest of your life in the mental condition you are in right now / or a worsened condition?

2. Do you want to stress out and wear your heart out faster?

3.  Are you willing to ignore your lack of stress management skills and find yourself in a contentious situation with no resolve in sight?

4.   Do you need to turn to alcohol to “take the edge” off?

That’s a tough one.  The difference between having a drink and depending on it is the crux of this question.   Is that your stress management technique every day?

5.  Do you like the feelings you get in your gut when you have gone past the point of no return and still it’s necessary to “suck it up and shut up”?

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If you answered NO to questions 1,2,3,and 5 (or any of them), it’s time to FIND THE TIME to learn simple stress management techniques

If you answered YES to question four, then you also need to get busy for you, the sake of your family, and your LIFE!

The following five statements are simple management skills and invaluable to use daily.

1.  Use your oxygen mindfully and change your life.  Only a minute or two “a few times” a day will help!  (Previous posts have specific directions and on line practices).  This is the number one and simplest help for you.

2.  When you begin to feel upset or nervous, let a bell ring in your head and think:  “I am in charge of my response.  No matter what the problem, I CAN handle it.”

3.  Take mini-breaks at the computer.  Close your fists tightly and release.  Stand up and move around to get oxygen flowing. Open and close your eyes several times, and rub your fingertips together until they get warm and place them on your eyes for a moment.  Take a breath!  ANY or all of these things can help instantly.

4.  Don’t let the “momentary” stress STEAL your joy.   One guarantee in life is that EVERYTHING changes – and can in the blink of an eye – so be patient and calm and remember, “this too shall pass”……

5.  SMILE more often.  Practice it.  Even if you don’t think there is anything to make you smile, do it.  You will find that simply smiling will automatically elevate your spirit.  Even if you smile simply because it seems to be silly to smile for nothing, do it!

Now CREATE A WONDERFUL day for YOU and those in the circle of your life.

May you think in order to be happier, you need more than you have right now – more money, more love, more freedom, more friends, etc. etc. etc.  Simply by thinking in these terms, you may be downsizing your sense of well being, and your own happiness!

Admittedly, evidence shows that genetics contribute to about fifty percent of your happiness set point.  However, that is a far cry from one hundred percent.

If you want less stress and you want to be happier, you must do two things.  You must make a commitment and an effort (as with any meaningful goal in life).  Maybe you won’t go to to a “ten” in happiness, but you surely will become happier!

Many people think stress takes happiness away.  It does.  So what do you do?  You change your attitude and expect happiness to be headed your direction – no matter what

Happiness is not a lover (though that does add to happiness).

It is not marriage, money, or a new destination.   These things contribute to your happiness, but not nearly as much as you might think

Lasting happiness has more to do with simply racking up pleasure experiences or material things…it has more to do with how you behave and think – and these things ultimatelycontrol more than many of life’s circumstances.

Here’s an idea:  help someone else by volunteering or being kind, or generous with your actions.  There is a report of feelings called a “helper’s high” and many people who follow this path even find an alleviation of aches and pains.

Diversion from your own stress and pain can truly add to your happiness.  If you can do something to help someone else, your happiness will accelerate.

In finding that “joy of giving”, you will find your stress diminishing.  Part of the problem with stress is that is you pay attention to it; let you get overwhelmed with it, it will get worse!

Do something that is meaningful to you.  If you do, the activity can promote a sense of gratitude, connectedness, forgiveness or optimism.  If what you do means something to you it will be most successful.

If you want to be happy schedule time to do something outside of your own “self-needs”.  Assess your strengths and develop practices that are best used for these endeavors.

Something as simple as a call to express love, or saying thank you with a robust feeling behind it, will begin the new journey.

Always you must use your oxygen.  If these posts repeat this over and over again, it is because it is the number one stress management technique to use.

Take a breath.  Think about this.  Do something this weekend.

You never know unless you try.  CREATE a happy and beautiful weekend!

There is no guarantee how long life will be for each human. Keep in mind, it is fragile and life needs to be cherished. Within a nanosecond your life can change for all the remaining days you have left to live on this planet.  This is important to keep in mind, because it happens. It is factual.

Be prepared for what you don’t expect.  Perhaps, with practice of stress management techniques, you will find a windfall of strength and endurance, previously unknown, in surviving any tragedy.  You can’t prepare for everything, but you can teach your mind how to calm down and learn to differentiate between necessary, urgent, and critical challenges that may arise.

The potential to handle “life” and its challenges is bundled up within you.  It all depends on the quality of life you desire, your willingness to make the first move, and your willingness to practice, practice, and practice!

Techniques to learn stress management are not difficult!  They are rewarding, to say the least, throughout your life.  Your profession, raising a family, staying on a diet, completing a school project – all these things can be more complex that learning the techniques that will help every moment and every sequence of events in your life.

So what’s the problem?  Don’t wait until a major stress evolves and you find YOU with stress that is out of control.  Start today.

DEDICATE as little as a couple of minutes every waking hour  (that’s only twenty four minutes in twelve hours) or fifteen minutes in the evening, to practice breathing.

YOU ARE AN OXYGEN MACHINE AND WITHOUT IT YOU DIE IN A FEW MINUTES.  WHY NOT REFINE AND USE YOUR OXYGEN AS IT’S MEANT TO BE USED: TO HEAL, RELAX AND REGENERATE.

If you practice faithfully for a week or so, each day, you will begin to notice the breathing becomes more natural to you.

You will be able to draw upon this type of breathing when a stress is triggered by something, and you will be able to empower your response and calm your bodily functions.

Begin today to change your life forever. The easiest and most effective way to begin is right this moment.  No matter where you are reading this, take a moment, sit up a bit straighter to allow good oxygen.

Let your shoulders relax downward and with a little effort, pull them back slightly.

You have opened up the lung area and now are prepared to receive fresh oxygen.

Take a deep inhalation through the nose.  Allow your lower abdominal area to fill up like a balloon.  Hold it for a moment.  Now exhale through the mouth and allow the “balloon” to empty from the bottom upward.

Read and do the above paragraph again.

Read it several times and slowly “use” your oxygen.  You can’t go any place in your car without gas!  (Stress causes shallow breathing) Don’t deplete YOU.  Do this breathing for two minutes.  Can you afford not to?

Your inhalation will relax and regenerate you.  Your

exhalation is actually a housekeeping technique – sending out the carbon dioxide and making room for oxygen.  You can also visualize sending any negative incidents or feelings right out with the exhalation.  Purge your body and make room for new life and new thoughts.

When you have mastered just this simple technique then move to add another such as walking, yoga, a  stress management program, or other training.  Be comfortable with your own breathing and it will empower you.

Pain / Stress / Forgiveness = closely related feelings.  Both physical and mental pain are intrinsic, contained wholly within the human intellect and spiritual nature.  You all have more within you, powers yet untapped or realized.

Humans gifts often go to the grave with people not using their gifts or even recognizing them simply because the world has told them they aren’t up to the job.  You are up to it! You have to FIND, and DRAW, from that power within; the untapped reservoir of all the characteristics and strength you dreamed you would have.   Perhaps someone told you that you would fail or that you had no hope to accomplish anything in this lifetime. They were wrong and you know it innately.

Dealing with words wrongly spoken is a huge stress to handle.  So if it’s happened to you, just draw in a slow breath, wait a few seconds, and exhale fully through the mouth.

(In case you don’t know how to breathe for YOUR benefit, here it is – short and sweet – and life enhancing any time you choose to use it!)

“ Deep Breathing is the simplest and most important form of stress reduction. Most people breathe only from their upper diaphragm. This is not the way we were intended to breathe. We are particularly prone to breathe incorrectly when stressed, by taking quick and shallow breaths. The exaggerated form of this is hyperventilating, which some people do when experiencing an anxiety or panic attack. The proper way to breathe is to inhale deeply from the abdomen. You should be able to feel your lungs fill up with air as you inhale. If you do not breathe from the solar plexus, you are not getting enough oxygen. You may think that it looks better to hold your stomach in but you are losing out on vital oxygenation of the body. Deep breathing is a very quick way to release tension, particularly noticeable in the neck, shoulders and head (headache).

Stand any place and inhale deeply so that you feel the air expand in the lower part of your abdomen and your stomach extend out. Hold the breath as long as it is comfortable and then exhale slowly…”

Rachael Collins

02 April 2009

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Pain is a unique experience.  Pain can put a halt to any activity your may want to do.  It can stop you from every dream in your life.  If you can’t play, walk, move, sleep soundly, or think and concentrate, you are being robbed of your life.  It’s time to change things around!

Pain that you “think you can’t make go away” can, overcome you, and can change the way you feel about yourself and others.  It can destroy relationships and lives.  The secret to managing your pain is first to unleash all the anger you have for so many things. You have suffered enough.  You have been mad at others and circumstances long enough! Don’t dwell on the past ONE MORE MOMENT!

As you inhale think:  I am empowered

As you exhale think:  I forgive others and myself

As you inhale think:  I am wonderful and can make things better

As you exhale think:  No more negativity.  No more useless anger

As long as you are alive you have the capacity to change.  “Why should I change?”, you may ask.  If you are able to manage your stress, happy, love your life and yourself, no need to change.  Otherwise, think about it.

A person’s description of pain — where it is, when it starts, what helps to relieve it — are key to understanding pain. Only the person with pain knows exactly what it is like, whether mental or physical.

That is exactly why ONLY YOU can figure out where you go from here.  Let go of the need to control and stress will drift from you like the wave retreating into the fold of the ocean.

Make sure you get a good night’s sleep.  Set the stage and when you first are laying down, breath again, with thoughts than enhance you, and enfold you into a sweet slumber. When you are well-rested, you have more energy to get well, to enjoy life, and to do the things that are important to you

Get started now.  Breathe.  Let go of anger and sorrow.  Forgive others errors.  Forgive yourself.  These are major steps towards learning to manage your stress and live a more wonderful and peaceful life.

Seek other help for stress if need be, once you get started with these simple exercises of intellect.  Try yoga.  Walk with a friend.  Sign up for classes or other online help.  CREATE YOUR LIFE!

If you have been stressing lately about the amount of alcohol you are consuming, or if you find yourself drinking when no one else knows, you had better start right away to make some BIG changes or you are HEADED DIRECTLY IN THE PATH OF A FREIGHT TRAIN!  This is not a joke.

Even if you think you are in control and just have a drink or two when no one is around – YOU’VE ALREADY GOT A PROBLEM.  If you have the “need” for a drink this warning is as serious as stopping at a red light in major city traffic.  You are headed the wrong way on a one-way street.

You can lie to yourself, justify your drinking, or just say it’s no one’s business – but this writer speaks from personal experience on both sides of the fence….the drinker, and the one who suffered the effects of living with a drinker.  This is serious business. It cannot be stressed enough. If you continue your stress level will increase.

If you think having a drink takes the edge off for a while, you are kidding yourself.  It’s like any drug only more insidious.

Ultimately you’ll need more to get the same feeling.  This drug causes much more damage than others because it is legal and so readily available.

Ever have a blackout?  Ever gotten angry when drinking?  Have you ever said or done something you wish you hadn’t?  Ever thought about what it costs to continue the habit?  Have you lost your family and / or the respect and love of friends?  Ever hidden a bottle or lied about your drinking?

Most people with a problem (possibly unrecognized, as yet) have experienced at least one or two of these scenarios.

No matter what the scenario – married, divorced, children, partnering with someone, or alone – overindulgence of alcohol can not only RUIN your life and the lives – it is a spirit, intellect, and health killer!

The problem is that alcohol has been advertised to be “socially acceptable”, a way to take the “edge off”, and a way to find your “confidence”, some profess true feelings come out, or that it is one of the best legal ways to party hearty.

DON’T FORGET WHO IS ADVERTISING:  big business, politicians who have there hands out, and people who are in the middle of the struggle and don’t want to drink alone.

Those are NOT very good recommendations!  If you are a parent and you love your children SEEK HELP NOW.  There is no shame in it.  From grade school to the elderly, America is fighting the battle with alcohol.  It takes courage to make this move, but you won’t loose everything ultimately, if you do something now!

If you don’t care about yourself enough, yet, think what you are possibly doing to someone else because of your drinking.

Alcohol stress for the NON-DRINKERS

This is a true story about a little girl who deals with the effects of alcohol EVERY DAY of her young life.

This is what a child should be worrying about (boy or girl) -  “Is there enough bread to feed all the geese?”

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McKenna was nine years old the day I met her.  I rounded the corner while taking my energetic puppy for a promised walk.  I walked a few yards and noticed a little girl across the street on her bike.  Her outfit was pink and her hair red. Not the kind of red that reminds you of a fire truck.  It was a soft red, almost  light pink.  It was cut in a cute bouncy style.

I introduced her to my dog so they could become friends.  She was “sparkly”.  Funny, that’s the only word that comes to mind.

She has dreams.  She sings.  I asked if she was good and she was modest and said “Some people think I’m good when they hear me.”  I asked if she thought she was good and said it wouldn’t be conceited to tell me.  She told me she thought she was good – but with purity and no diva attitude.

She asked if she could sing for me and I said yes.  When she started she was a little nervous, but she got more relaxed and belted out a very nice rendition of the song she was singing.

She was actually very good and I told her I enjoyed her singing.

Then out of a clear blue sky she told me this:

“My dad’s an alcoholic.  I know he loves me, but alcohol took my dad away.  I’ve known it since I was five.  He never keeps his promises to us and my mom warned me to let me know if he crushed my heart some time along the way.”

My heartbeat quickened.  I knew if I allowed the tears in my eyes to express themselves, it wouldn’t be right, or helpful for McKenna, this beautiful nine year old.  I could feel her genuine pain.

She was however, mature beyond her years and ready to understand and forgive.  I explained some things about addiction and she listened hard.

She rode her bike next to us all the way to her boundry.  I turned around and backtracked because she was so hungry to talk about it.  She has lived on this planet only nine years and is already suffering the pain living with someone who is an alcoholic brings.

She asked me if I would walk that way again and I said I would love to see you again.  She hugged me and we waved good-by.

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McKenna’s pain has only begun.  Times will get harder.  I can pray for her and be her friend.  A child shouldn’t have to feel this way!

Know this:  just because you may not be an “alcoholic” (you may not even know you could be) – and you think you are just a social drinker, be sure to plant a seed in your mind to monitor your habits.

As creatures of habit we get into the “habit” of things easily; they are harder to break.  Remember alcohol is a seductive and sneaky drug that at some point can creep up on you and rule your life!

Don’t wind up like the man I saw laying on the side of the road, sleeping under cardboard.  His shoes were off and I couldn’t see his face, but I could see the empty bottle of bourbon next to him.  Head towards the path a friend of mine went down.  He actually made a decision to quit all on his own.  He had been in jail, almost lost his family, and knew he had to do something.   He quit cold turkey and has not had a drink in twenty-five years.  His life is wonderful now and he has no regrets.

Don’t think your children aren’t watching.  They see and hear more than you think.  Don’t forget the statistics of high school and college age students who have DIED from alcohol poisoning is on the rise.  Don’t forget alcohol may seem to take you up temporarily, but as it wears off it becomes a depressant!

Now What Do I Do?

First of all, take a breath.  Before ANY fearful or major happening in your life, USE MINDFUL OXYGEN. It will help relax you and empower you.  Refer to earlier posts if you are not familiar with breathing techniques as there are a few on line practices on this website.  No charge, of course.

Seek help.  If you are hiding alcohol, have been drunk this week, or can relate to any of the scenarios above:  PLEASE SEEK HELP.

Most communities have Alcoholics Anonymous meetings, and Alanon (for those suffering from the actions of alcoholics).  Look online for help and websites offering more suggestions.

Contact a church, a family member or friends…there is help available and there is NO SHAME in asking for help.  There is hope in it!

Don’t leave your spirit in an empty bottle of alcohol.  The choice is yours and yours alone.