Are you really stressed out because you are getting old?  (Sometimes there is no gentler way of putting aging into a gentle word).  It’s not an easy time.

Perhaps you are caring for an older person and sometimes you feel like deserting them.  Caring for someone that is elderly isn’t an easy time either.

Here is the reality of it all.  Life doesn’t get easier.  That’s a promise!   The Golden years was probably a phrase made up by some dweeb who hadn’t reached fifty yet! ” Ahhh” (he or she thought)” to be retired and be able to rest and relax.”

This is not to discourage you – these are just the facts!  But there are ways to COMPENSATE for the facts, and still enjoy your LIVES…whether you are the caregiver, or the older citizen.

Your best stress management course of action in either case is to be prepared, MENTALLY.  There is only so much you can do about a body as it deteriorates.  Though this is the natural way of things.

Stress Management Help for the Elderly

If you are older – it means you are still alive and have the opportunity to enjoy some things in life, and perhaps see a dream or two come true and it’s better than the other option.

As for those young people who seem to treat you like you’ve done something wrong because you are older – just remember,

though we like to step into another person’s shoe to find compassion – it’s impossible to understand your plights until you arrive at the same stage of life.  You just have to forgive their lack of character.

There will be young people and people of all ages who will cherish your wisdom and time….if you stay current and keep a sense of humor.  Don’t let the “pain” you may have get you down.  This is when it’s really important to take a breath and practice using your oxygen to help relieve your pain.

If you are unfamiliar with mindful breathing just check back a few posts ago and begin to practice it.  After three or four days of practicing, then do this.

When you inhale, visualize that healing oxygen going directly to whatever area needs it the most.  If you have wrenched your knee – send it there.  If the arthritis in your neck is painful send it there.  If your heart is aching because of an unkindness someone did to you, take a breath and visualize the oxygen going to your brain so you can meld emotion with intellect and not be overpowered with sorrow. Many people find as they age they become more sensitive, so this is important to do.

When you exhale visualize all pain subsiding.  Mind over matter can work.

Some people as they age turn sour and negative.  This won’t win you any friends or any company to have over for a visit.

So if this is your problem – STOP IT!  LEARN AGAIN to smile and remember the next moment of your life could be your last, so make this one count!

Stress Management Help for the Caregiver

If you are the caregiver of an elderly person, just think, you have the power to help make the last years of someone’s life be illuminated with kindness and perhaps, even love.  That is a position of honor.

Remember that when you look at an elderly person you are looking at you in the future.  Treat him or her, as you will want to be treated when you age.

When your patience wears thin use your mindful breathing techniques to regenerate and relax simultaneously.  It works.

When you are about to get angry or ill tempered verbally, use your secret weapon of oxygen and take a moment to inhale.

Think:  “I am calm.  I can do whatever it takes calmly.”

As you exhale think:  “My frustration is leaving me and any negative thoughts.

It only takes a minute to regain your preferred demeanor.  Be gentle.  The elderly have a mountain of problems to face that they don’t even share with others.

Attitude and health at all ages often deteriorate with lack of nutrition.  Make sure good food is available.  Too often when an elderly person is alone he or she simply is not motivated to eat.  Share time and maybe a meal with someone who is alone the majority of the time.

TRY TO USE OTHER FORMS OF STRESS MANAGEMENT TO AID YOU TOO.  THOUGH BREATHING IS NUMBER ONE, AND NUTRITION AND MOVEMENT VERY IMPORTANT, BUT  YOU HAVE MANY MORE CHOICES – MASSAGE, YOGA, THERAPY, DISCUSSION GROUPS, ONLINE FORUMS, REFLEXOLOGY AND  MORE…..AND REMEMBER, “THIS TOO SHALL PASS.”

You have most likely heard these terms before, but perhaps you are not familiar with exactly what they mean, and why you should include them in your stress management program.

An affirmation is something that is affirmed; a statement or proposition that is declared to be true. Combine it with positive and you come up with statements that could include:

“I am healing.”

“I feel better by the moment.”

Affirmations are powerful statements that become truth.  Practice POSITIVE affirmations and they will transform your mind, body, perceptions and actions.  They create brain cells and become imprinted in your mind and on your heart.

Positive affirmations repeated become reality and they replace negative feelings and false beliefs.

Mindfulness is “a kind of non-elaborative, nonjudgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation observed under close or careful and concentrated personal attention”.

With this type meditation, there is increased recognition of mental events that happen. You may see a particular orientation toward your own experiences in the present moment, an orientation that is characterized by curiosity, openness, and acceptance.

The purpose of incorporating them into your program is to help overcome a negative mind and cultivate constructive thoughts.

Most minds are wild.  You can begin to tame your mind with positive affirmations and mindful meditations by paying complete attention to your thoughts, and guiding them.

Adopt a passive attitude of letting you become relaxed; don’t force it.  Don’t worry about whether you are doing it right.  Concentrate on how you feel and be consistent about doing at least three sessions of ten to fifteen minutes a week.

As you practice enhance your sessions by taking deep breaths and releasing tension with each exhalation.  Imagine a wave of relaxation moving from the top of your head to the tips of your toes.

Examples of positive affirmations:

“I let go of the old and make room for the new.”

“I am calm and at peace.”

“I feel a wave of relaxation within my body.”

“I let my mind dissolve into neutral for now.”

“I can focus my thoughts as I choose.”

“I am not my circumstances, nor my history.  I am now.”

Your life is not what happens to you.  It is your attitude in response to what happens.  You cannot control every circumstance of your life, but you can begin now to plant good thoughts into your mind.

Affirmations are like seeds.  If you plant good thoughts, what springs into your life is just what you planted – it always happens.  Meditate mindfully remembering you can use your thoughts and words to create what you want in your life.

From elementary school to senior community classes – all students need to learn to use these techniques.  This doesn’t mean you will instantly have all these benefits, similar to anything you learn in life, it will take your commitment to be consistent practicing techniques, and a tenacity that makes you persist until your goals are achieved.  But you absolutely WILL start feeling better each time you practice.

The truth is, the younger you learn stress management techniques,  the better your life will be throughout all your years.  That is not to say you cannot achieve results if you are in your senior years…humans can always learn and create new and useful brain cells.  The human brain is excellent and regenerative

It is actually simpler than most things you will learn in school at any level. Just learn these techniques and you will never regret it!

Breathe!  If you already know how to breath to empower yourself you have completed the most important step.  If you don’t, read on.  STRESS makes humans shallow breathers.  Your brain needs fifty percent more oxygen than the rest of the body to think optimally.  Ever feel stressed out before an exam?  You were probably breathing shallow, ineffective breaths!

Here is the deal:  Breathe right and this is what happens.  You will give your brain oxygen to sharpen your intellect (all facets of it).  Your mind will relax and yet be brighter.  Your muscles, tendons and ligaments will stay relaxed, so your shoulders won’t tighten up with stress.   If you’ve used mindful breathing prior to an exam or class, you will be more relaxed, hence, more effective in learning and remembering what you’ve learned.

To empower you, inhale slowly through the nose (pulling in that life-saving and energizing oxygen), expanding your belly like a balloon.  Exhale through the mouth letting the belly empty out from the bottom upward and the carbon dioxide will be released, making room for more oxygen.  You don’t have to make noise or a big fuss about it.  It can be a secret weapon to use at any time, or any place.

Try to get in three or four of these breaths before you start, so you can be more relaxed and prepared.  This works for performing as an athlete, in theatre, choir, or any type activity that “rings” your stress button.  You want to be good.  You want to do your best.  This is a gift to human beings….the ability to control your own mind and body through your oxygen intake is an unbelievable gift.  You must believe it works, and the proof is the physiological response in accord with/ or characteristic of the normal functioning of a living organism -  That’s YOU!

Practice visualizing success.  You can combine this practice with using mindful oxygen and it will expedite results. Visualize empowerment as you inhale, and negativity leaving you as you exhale. Visualization is a great way to build your confidence.  As you fall asleep each night visualize yourself calm taking tests (or performing some craft), and doing a wonderful job.

Be detailed about your visualization and it will help you really feel like you are practicing for success – and you are doing just that.  These are rehearsals for life.  You can use visualizations to help you remember facts.  Create detailed scenarios that involve information you are trying to remember; this will help cement the facts in your memory.

These two techniques can be life altering and grade enhancing!  You can

apply the techniques to ANY situation in life.  When you are learning to drive, breathe.  When you are going out on a date, breathe.  When you are getting ready for a football game, breathe.

Make it fun practicing anywhere – a secret weapon.  If someone gets in your face and ticks you off, breathe.  You will not react.  You will respond with higher intellect and a calm demeanor.  You win!

Every time you get ready for bed practice visualizing for success.  These techniques work and they are yours already, no purchase required.  Just call upon your brain to be motivated and practice…no one will test you on these things, but you can be on your way to a great life if you truly learn to use them for your benefit

Begin today!

Change is certainly not always predictable.  There will be physical changes as the years increase, changes at work, changes at school and home, and most likely, changes in relationships.  This is life.

Change can be exhilarating and sometimes frightening.  Any change will have a considerable psychological impact on the human mind.  To those who are fearful to begin with, change is threatening because it means that things “may” get worse.

To those who are positive and hopeful, change is encouraging because things may get better.  For those individuals who are confident, change often inspires because of the challenges that exist to make things better.

In order to manage the stress of change,  whether good or bad, use these quick tips to begin to learn to flow with what is happening:

1.  Always remember when a change is imminent to use your oxygen first.  When we are bombarded with stress our oxygen is your first defense to keep your wits about you.  Remember stress causes us to breathe shallow, therein restricting the needed supply of oxygen to think optimally and respond instead of reacting.

2.  Stay healthy.  Even if you eat moderately nutritiously and exercise only moderately – you can – with a busy schedule, stay healthier than if you simply neglect these things.  Good health makes it easier to manage stress because you aren’t fighting stress and poor health!

3.  Learn to accept the fact you CANNOT CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.  That is not realistic.  If you are able to stay flexible and use a fine mix of intellect melding with emotion, you will find ANY scenario more manageable.

4.  Do reserve time for you to THINK.  You may need time to re-evaluate the situation, or simply time meditate or pray about it.  Time to focus on your own plan of action.  Time to find the right attitude and courage.  These things can be found from within if you just take a few minutes each day to reconcile your mind and heart with what is happening in your life.  It takes practice to make these CHANGES, but the time is worth it in every moment of your life, from this time forward.

5.  Pay attention to positive thoughts and feedback from those who obviously have climbed the mountains before you.

“Things do not change: we change.”

Henry David Thoreau

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“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”

Marcus Arelius Antoninus

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“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Serenity Prayer

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,

]]> http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/04/change-can-be-overwhelming/feed/ 0 http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/04/progressive-muscle-relaxation-for-stress-management/ http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/04/progressive-muscle-relaxation-for-stress-management/#comments Sat, 03 Apr 2010 03:25:19 +0000 Marsha http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/?p=403 Progressive Muscle Relaxation for Stress Management

Progressive muscle is a very effective and widely used strategy for stress relief.  The wonderful thing about this particular management technique is that it is really not difficult at all.

It involves systematically tensing and then relaxing different muscle groups in the body.  The preferred method for this relaxation is to be in an area where you can be laying down, preferably in a darkened area, and undisturbed for at least fifteen-twenty minutes.

With regular practice (as with any relaxation technique) it becomes easier to achieve the desired results.  Progressive muscle relaxation will give you an intimate familiarity with what tension really is, as well as what it feels like to completely relax your muscles.

This awareness helps you spot and counteract the first signs of the muscular tension that accompanies stress. As your body relaxes, so will your mind.

You should always combine deep breathing with progressive muscle relaxation for an additional level of relief from stress, and to aid the muscles to relax further.

The most wonderful thing this relaxation teaches you is this. ..You will become cognizant of the “feeling” when muscles begin to tense from stress.  You will find yourself feeling the change and be able to reverse the effects of stress, taking a toll on you, by breathing into the muscles consciously.

Most everyone has a tendency to restrict their breathing when they are frightened, anxious, or feeling overwhelmed. It is not “natural” to restrict one’s breathing at such times, but for most of us it is a default habit nonetheless. Mindful breathing with this relaxation will reawaken you to the process of breathing, and help you to reverse degenerative breathing habits.

You can relieve neck tension and tight shoulders through this awareness, and the beautiful thing is you can do “mini-progressive relaxations anywhere and any time you choose!

Progressive muscle relaxation begins at the feet and works up to the face. It is preferable to have a practitioner if you are a novice.

HOWEVER, you can learn to do this simple relaxation on your own, if you are motivated to change your life, and willing to be patient in reaping the rewards as you practice.

Concentrate on these areas for the relaxation:

Right foot

Left foot

Right calf

Left calf

Right thigh

Left thigh

Hips and buttocks

Stomach

Chest

Back

Right arm and hand

Left arm and hand

Neck and shoulders

Face

Loosen your clothing, take off your shoes, and get comfortable.

Take a few minutes to relax, breathing in and out in slow, deep breaths.  This will begin to provide your muscles with abundant oxygen.  When we get “stressed out” our breathing becomes shallow.

When you are relaxed and ready to start, shift your attention to your right foot.  Focus on the way it feels.

Slowly tense the muscles in your right foot, squeezing at tightly as you can. Hold for a count of 10.

Relax your right foot. Focus on the tension flowing away and the way your foot feels as it becomes limp and loose.

Stay in this relaxed state for a moment, breathing deeply and slowly. Visualize the oxygen permeating your body.  When you exhale visualize the carbon dioxide carrying tension outside your body and vaporizing into infinity, leaving no trace in your “expression” of life.

When you are ready, shift your attention to your left foot.  Follow the same sequence of muscle tension and release.

Move slowly up through your body – legs, abdomen, back, neck, face – contracting and relaxing the muscle groups.

To close the relaxation, tighten muscles progressively from the feet to the face and hold the entire body taut for a few seconds.  Release and command the muscles to relax, and actually feel them relax.  Wait a few minutes, stretch and return to the outer world you live in – more relaxed and feeling better.

Smile.  Play Games.  Overcome anxiety.  Love your children.  Take a breath.  It’s up to you to change your life and manage your stress!

Did you know that unmanaged stress can play a huge role in our bodies succumbing to various diseases.

A famous cancer specialist, Dr. Carl Simonton, wrote: “There is considerable research that points to stress as being an influencing factor in the susceptibility of and resistance to cancer, as well as to the course of the disease itself.”

Stress itself is emphasized by noting that both endocrine and immune functions are so sensitive to the influence of stress that measurable effects can be noted and characterized in both animal and human studies.

External stressors seem to overload human systems, particularly if the bodies have already been exhausted from the internal stress of not getting needs met for a long time.  It is probable that this research can support the role of stress in many other chronic and catastrophic diseases.

Negative thoughts (or black thoughts) when allowed to travel from the brain to the organ systems cause such stress on the systems that eventually they become overloaded and cannot even recognize there is a problem.  It is then a person can succumb to chronic and catastrophic diseases such as heart attacks, adrenal failure and cancer.

The way you view life situations can create a healthier life for you if you change negative thoughts to positive ones.

Below are simple activities than can help you live more in control of your stresses.  You will come to manage stress more effectively than you ever imagined.

1.  Make realistic “to do” lists, and check off tasks when done.

2.  Learn to live with unfinished tasks – only a corpse is completely finished!

3.  Slow your pace of talking, walking and eating.

4.  Leave time in your schedule for the unexpected.

5.  Move through your day slow enough to experience beauty in the environment.

6.  Find time each day to PRACTICE relaxing – whether it is in the form of a yoga class, meditating, praying, or simply mindful breathing breaks throughout the day.

7.  Use any waiting in line or stopping for lights as an opportunity to practice deep breathing techniques.  You will relax, regenerate and empower yourself by doing so.

8.  Remember certain types of music can help your heat rate to slow, and your blood pressure to lower to healthy numbers.

9.  If you can “delegate” or leave details to someone else (at home or in the office), take advantage of lightening your load by doing so.

10. As yourself whether that pressing “something” must be done this hour/ or this day.  Would it be catastrophic if you couldn’t squeeze it in?  If so, then practice your breathing so your intellect will sharpen and your shoulders and neck will stay relaxed and supple.

Now take a breath or two, stretch a bit, and go forth in a more relaxed manner to success in your endeavors in this life of yours!

If you have a few minutes to spend on an easy project:  enter our contest!  Some great stress management gifts will be awarded.  Check the upper left- hand corner for rules. 

Here is how to manage them effectively.

Below is a partial list of the reality of constant “little irritants”. Recognize any of them?

1. People criticizing and then telling you a better way to do

your jobs, manage your home, or raise your children

2.  Ants in the kitchen

3.  Traffic

4.  Rude people

5.  Dropping something that spills or breaks

6.  Someone who pretends to listen

7.  Being put on hold and then being disconnected

8.  Parents screaming four letter words at their children

9.  The neighbor’s dog barking all day long.

10.  All the cats on the street turning your front porch plants           into urinals.

11.  The sound of the ba-boom coming from speakers in a car three blocks away.

12.  Being told the cost of living hasn’t gone up so there will be no increase for senior citizens.

13.  Looking in your rear view mirror only to find someone riding you so closely if you just took your foot off the gas pedal they would be sitting in your front seat

14.  Sick people coughing and sneezing while they are a work

15.  Not being able to get the lid off of a container or jar

16.  The puppy shredding paper all over the house

17.  Kids yelling

18.  When your entire day changes because of little sequences   of life you didn’t expect

19.  When you are in a hurry and everything and everybody seems to move in slow motion

20    Constipation  (really)

21.  You get to the meeting fifteen minutes early only to   discover that it started fifteen minutes earlier than your arrival

…..and the list goes on and on and on – day after day after day!

You probably can add fifty things to the list that haven’t been mentioned.  So WHY do these things irritate you?  After all, they aren’t life threatening; they are just bothersome.

The incident isn’t the biggest problem, but just the trigger for an overload of stress and a possible explosion of emotion!  The idiom “the straw that broke the camel’s back” is an old Arab proverb.   It refers to a camel loaded beyond it’s capacity; hence, the broken back. This is a reference to any process by which cataclysmic failure is achieved by a seemingly inconsequential additional event. This also gives rise to “the last straw” often used when something is deemed to be the last in a line of unacceptable occurrences.  Everyone suffers from this at one time or another in his or her life.

You know now that these events are simply triggers and a release that may be less troublesome to resolve – a bit of yelling or snappy answer and it’s over.  What you haven’t attended to is the underlying cause that will cause these events to trigger your emotions over and over again.

One or all of these methods can help you to manage these events calmly.

1.  Laughter.  Usually there is something that can tickle your silly bone if you search for it.  Even if it’s ironic humor, laughter will lighten the situation and trigger a more positive response.

2.  Use your oxygen immediately to manage your stress.  Breathing slowly and deeply will get oxygen to your brain and muscles and ligaments.  You will respond more intelligently and your shoulders will relax.  This is a method that is ALWAYS

AVAILABLE and its FREE.  Empower yourself, if you do nothing else in the management arena, learn to use this secret weapon.  It works mentally and physically – that’s the way human kind is built!

3. Keep in mind, we are all human and “stuff” happens to the best of us.  This is just a fact of life.  This trigger incident will be over quickly if you let it.

4.  Divert your attention to something that is really higher on the priority list.  You may have to clean up a mess or handle the scenario, but make it quick and positive.  You have more important stresses to attend to than the occurrence of these little irritants.

5.  To begin to really attend to the “big stresses” – you have many options:  stress reduction exercises, meditation, on line websites, personal training.  Don’t give up.  Take a breath and learn how to help yourself!

“Things do not change: we change.”

Henry David Thoreau

*Why not enter our contest (upper left corner). You have the chance to win some great prizes.*

These are positive thoughts are for your enhancement as a human being, and for all those in your circle of life, whether at work or home.

You can refer to them as mantras, meditation, or just positive thoughts. You can think of them as prayers confirming your beliefs in the power your Creator has given to you.  Apply them to your life repeatedly, and see what happens.  No one can do it for you, and it certainly can’t hurt you!

As you read each one, take in a deep breath and assimilate what you are reading.  As you finish a thought, exhale and visualize negativity leaving you.  Then begin again.  This will give you two-fold benefits!

This requires desire, dedication and repetition.

This requires desire, dedication and repetition.

We are creatures of habit.

Whatever is pertinent to your needs are the ideas you should pay attention to; perhaps only for or five at a time, and then return to practice the others later.  Whatever is appropriate and will help the most in your life.

A great way to keep practicing without having to return to the computer is to simply copy and print these, and carry them in your wallet, post them near your desk, or tape them on a refrigerator.

If you fill your mind with positive and healing thoughts you will find you have less and less time to be filled with worry and fear.  It works!

1.   I will never let another be in charge of my actions, my healing, my thoughts, nor my heart.  I am in charge.

2.  I will dismiss all undue anxieties, and picture my life, as I want it to be.

3.  I am my own and have a choice in every word I speak and every action I take.

4.  I am an individual creation in the process of becoming my elevated destiny.

5.  I am able to shift my thoughts from emotion to intellect and back again to have a fine mix of both.

6.  I am healing, mentally and physically.

7.  I am learning, step by step.

8.  I will stop trying to control the present and the future.

9.  I will accept those things that I must accept.

10.  I will be courageous moment by moment.

11.  I will smile more.

12.  I will celebrate each moment with vigor.

13.  I can.  I will.  I am becoming what I see in my dreams and

feel in my heart.

14.  I will await the next change in life with anticipation,

regardless of the challenge it may require.

15.  I will use the gift of “breathing” for my empowerment.

16.  I will never loose sight of the light before, and I will keep

my path in focus.

17. This moment is a new beginning.  I will savor it and hope

for the best.

18.  I will read again, and think again, these thoughts and positive thoughts of my choice.

As you think, so shall you become

CREATE a wonderful life for you and your loved ones.  It is possible and easier than you can imagine.  Practice these over and over.  It certainly can do no harm!

This is a stepping-stone to stress management for a lifetime.

If you find you need additional help  (most people do) – seek it by find stress management classes, joining a yoga class, or contact one of the fine organizations advertised on this website or the many other sites available.

Marsha

http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/02/contest-stress-free/

Anger is defined as strong emotions:  wrath, aggravation, being annoyed, bothered, exasperated, furious, irritated, outraged, and antagonized.  If you are reading this there is a reason.  Please take a few slow breaths of oxygen as you continue.  Inhale slowly and exhale slowly.  You are on the right path.

The emotions, INCLUDING “a sense of injury” and a desire to retaliate, (which are sometimes disguised, even to the individual who is angry) can be dangerous emotions.   You can be almost out of control.  It happens to millions of people. However, if anger is left unmanaged, the anger can escalate to violence, and the loss of control for one moment, has the potential to destroy your life and perhaps someone else’s!  This is not an exaggeration. Statistics are a witness to acts of violence and the consequences paid.

If you feel your anger is tipping the scales, please answer the follow questions honestly.

1.  What does anger REALLY resolve?

2.  Do you REALLY want to devastate your body chemistry?

3.  Do you REALLY have good reason to hurt family, friends, and peers?

4.  Can you think of more appropriate ways to handle the situations?

5.  Is your anger REALLY aimed at someone else, or is it yourself?

Fact: Anger does not resolve anything. When you feel angry leave the room.  Go to someplace alone and do two things.  Take for to five deep breaths slowly and exhale slowly.  This concentrating on getting increased oxygen will divert your attention from the problem, for the moment.  It actually has a calming effect on your mind and body.

Fact:  When you are angry just once in a while, though the chemicals in your body are thrown into an abnormal state, the damage is not permanent.  When you get angry all the time you actually are setting yourself up for disaster, both physically, and mentally.

Fact:  While breathing to calm down, say a short prayer, or mantra several times.  Examples:  “God please help me to calm down.” or “I feel calm now.”  Say whatever you choose to help several times.

Fact:  Your angry words can cut like a knife and ultimately are capable of destroying any relationship.  Angry words lead to angry actions.  Since we are creatures of habit, if you ALLOW this anger to control you, you are jeopardizing everyone in your circle of life – including you!  Heart attacks have happened because of this negative habit!

There are better ways to handle tough scenarios.  Take a time out for finding your intellect instead of relying on emotions.  Walk away.  Seek counseling.

Have a family meeting and set rules.  There is always a better way than “lack of self-control.”

Fact:   Think of this.  Sometimes your anger may actually be misguided frustration in handling a situation that is either out of your control, or out of the realm of you actually knowing what to do.  It happens!  Anger at one’s self can be twisted and manifest as anger to another.

If you have a child, you may have felt anger when you couldn’t locate the child for a time.  Perhaps he or she was only playing somewhere out of your sight, but by the time you discovered the child your pent up WORRY had turned into anger; actually kind of a retaliation towards the child for your discomfort.

There are reasons to be angry, but do not let the anger destroy your life and ruin the lives of the people around you.  There are men and women in prison for the rest of their lives for that moment of anger that was mismanaged.

Exercise your brain to think of a way to get out of this useless “anger pit” before you dig your way into a grave.  PRACTICE new thoughts.  Even if you don’t feel satisfied at first, you must continue to try to create more positive brain cells.  If you must, take a pillow and beat it!  Get a punching bag and use it until you are exhausted, and calmer.  Go for a run.  There are alternatives to anger.

PLEASE – IF YOU NEED HELP – AND YOU KNOW IT INNATELY – GET HELP BEFORE IT ESCALATES!  There are anger management classes, social service organizations, and many other places to seek help.  Talk to someone at a church.  There is help available.

Right now:  take in a slow, deep breath (through the nose).  Hold it a few seconds remembering this will physically help to calm you down.  Exhale (through the mouth) and visualize that anger subsiding as you get rid of the carbon dioxide.  Do this again slowly.  YOUR MIND AND BODY WILL RESPOND WITH A CALMER YOU, CAPABLE OF RESPONDING AND NOT REACTING.

Anger out of control can lead to violence.  Violence can lead to irreparable damage.  In many cases anger can, and has been a straight path to jail!  Think about it and see help now if you feel out of control rage.  PLEASE!

Learn to Relax and relive these areas Right now!

When you are stuck in traffic you can feel the tension rising.

The kids are arguing and it’s getting irritating.

Work has been unusually hard and your peers haven’t helped.

These are just a few of the tension scenarios that can cause your shoulders to be tense, your neck to ache, your head to feel as if it is going to blow off your neck.  These three areas are the places where we hold much of our tension-the “stress triangle”, a phrase coined elsewhere, but absolutely correct.

Learning to release the tension in these muscles can really help us relax and de-stress.

Find the areas in need of help

If you place your right hand on your left shoulder, and move your fingers halfway in toward your neck, you are at one point of the triangle.  The second point is the same place off your right shoulder.  The third point is on your forehead, between your eyes.

Why tense muscles hurt

Muscles tighten to protect you!  That’s right.  We are talking about the muscles preparing for the “fight or flight” scenario.

But you don’t need that protection for everyday stresses.  When your muscle shortens, and then holds that position, waste products from muscle activity get trapped (metabolites).  This causes pain.  The pain is released when the muscle regains its natural length by relaxing.

Stretch away tension

The following simple stretches can help relieve tightness in your “stress triangle.”  Always remember when you do these stretches that mindful breathing aids in the relaxation process.

1.  Neck roll.  Stretch your right ear to you right shoulder, keeping your left shoulder pulled down.  Roll you head down so you chin is on your chest.  Continue on to your left side.  Do rolls from side to side.  Begin with eight, build up to sixteen

2.  Shoulder shrug.  Using one shoulder at a time, draw big circles.  Do two or three to start, and build up to eight times, going forward, then back.

3.  Pick Fruit.  With one hand, reach up as if you are picking fruit from an apple tree slightly ahead and far above you.  Go from one arm to the other, building up to eight times on each side.

4.  Self-massage.  Use your right hand to massage your left shoulder, and your left hand to massage your right shoulder.

Work your fingers gently, but firmly, beginning with your shoulder blade and moving up toward the neck. Include the scalp in this mini-massage.  Use your oxygen to help the relaxation

5.  Standing body roll.  Let your head roll forward until your chin is on your chest.  Keep rolling down as your knees begin to bend.  When your hands are hanging near your knees, rest there a moment and slowly roll back up.  Work up to ten times.

A welcome release of tension

At home, at work, or wherever you are, just take a few moments to do one or all of these simple stretches.  Use them once an hour if you feel tension mounting.  After doing these a few times, and comparing the different feeling of tense muscles verses relaxed muscles, you will absolutely feel like it’s well worth it for a few minutes of your time.  You will feel better and prevent tension from building up in your body.

Try these.  You will like the results!