Tag Archives: overwhelmed

Walking on Eggshells?

Walking on Eggshells-You’ve Probably heard this before:

“The idiom walking on eggshells generally describes a situation in which people must tread lightly around a sensitive topic, or make every effort not to offend a volatile or hypersensitive person. Literally walking on the empty shells of eggs would require exceptional caution and self-control, similar to the feeling of avoiding conflict with an easily disturbed friend, relative or employer. Family members of active alcoholics or ragea-aholics often use this phrase to describe their careful avoidance of conflict with their loved one. The origin of the idiom is a matter of dispute, but the general consensus is that walking on eggshells came from the same place as other cautionary actions, such as walking on thin ice or broken glass. Some sources suggest that it came from an earlier idiom, “walking on eggs.” While walking on eggshells presents enough difficulty for most people, walking on the whole egg without damage would be nearly impossible. Certain politicians who took extraordinarily cautious positions on an issue were said to have the dubious ability to walk on eggs without breaking them.”                     (Excerpts from Wise Geek)

 

So there is the definition.  The way I have always heard it used is when someone is in an abusive relationship and they dodge a bullet, or an angry person, by‘walking on eggshells”.  Treading lightly, so to speak, for fear of a reprisal, whether verbal or physical.  I know many moms who back down from an angry partner for the “sake” of the children, or fear of harm from their own husband or partner.

If you have found yourself cowering, or bending over backwards to take care not to anger a sleeping giant, here is my advice.  GET HELP!  Get it now before it is too late.  If you cannot get help – at least get the hell out of the way!  I know it sounds easier than it is, but if there is that fear within you of “danger”, there should also be the word SURVIVAL come to mind.

This is not a joke, sadly.  Our culture is geared at such a fast pace right now, and the stress levels of those who are in the position of earning money – to survive – is right at the breaking point.

No matter what the media reports, things are not improving for the peasants.  Anyone who is less than he / or she needs, feels the pinch.  Last month our house payment went up eighty dollars, our utility bill was up fifty; food and other goods have steadily been rising over the past three or four years.  All the “jobs” that are reported were the holiday part-time jobs that have no benefits, and only lasted until after the “shopping season” ended.

Pressure all around, with “no vents” like a pressure cooker.  In the final act of that scene, everything blows.  SO STAY ON YOUR TOES LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

Remember you are the only person who can SAVE YOU!  I pray and have great faith in God, so in that sense, my life is easier than some.  When I pray, I believe the burden is lifted and handed to God, and to show my faith, I find some relaxation in the scenarios.

For those of you who believe – do pray.  Then think about your situation and if there need be changes for your safety, or the safety of your children – begin to organize a withdrawal from danger for your family.

If you do not pray, you still must evaluate the situation you are in currently, and if there are red flags for danger, begin to make an exit plan.  If you BELIEVE with all your heart that counseling or communication can literally help, by all means, initiate it.  You always have the option in the future, if times worsen, to make changes.  Just be sure NOT to place you or your children in a volatile situation.

For those who are unemployed (either short term, or long term), those who have addictions to alcohol or drugs, those who have anger management issues, the “times” are very trying.

It is fine to take these things into consideration if you opt to try to work things out.  HOWEVER, be aware if the communication stops, if there is no attempt to correct change the “danger zone” – it is time to make a change!

God bless you and those you are trying to protect from an impossible situation.  YOU have to evaluate and take steps forward soon.  YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE!  DO NOT BE IN DENIAL OR YOU MAY WIND UP A STATISTIC!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A PILE OF DIRT VIA A HARDBALL IN THE FACE….

Just think how important you are that you are offered challenges of a lifetime!Does that sound strange?  Maybe so, but I have had my face covered in dirt, and delivered like a hardball slamming into my face with might and a sting.Guess what?  I am still here.For eight months I have been dealing with recovering from a burst compression fracture and major surgery-one that only happened because of the neglect of two physicians, and two physicians and two neurosurgeons.

On top of it, just before this travesty I was supposed to have two individual total hip replacements ( they will only operate on one at a time), as my hips are bone to bone.  Because of the fusion of my back I have been unable to have that done, and I am barely walking around at the moment. I actually called my doctor to get a wheelchair (and wrote her a note) three days ago.  Told her I needed it asap.  Nothing!Just as a perfect finish (I hope) to these challenges, I found two days ago I needed to have a tooth, one of my “chewers” removed.  Had a serious swelling and it was necessary.  Oh drat, I just finished paying fiftenn hundred dollars to have a root canal and a cap on that very tooth!  To have it removed was only a thousand cash, and in return I am minus a tooth and have a very swollen and painful face.Photo 1

This is me with a towel and an ice pack.  You wouldn’t want to see the swelling.

Right now I am laying down to rest.  Writing is a good part of my sanity.  What are the (must be) multiple stress management tricks to keep my wits about me.  There could be a sub-list under the major stress management technique, but basically to manage ANY traumas or scenarios, you must FIRST manage your response!  Life really is in charge of us, but one thing we have control of one hundred percent is our ATTITUDE, and therein, our RESPONSE to life.  WE HAVE A CHOICE.  We always have the choice to make the best of things, or throw in the towel.I am not much at throwing towels – no giving up!  Granted, I am fortunate to believe in God and His being there for me, during the good and the bad times.  I am fortunate enough to NOT blame God, but to realize life is what it is.  We may never know the “why” of things, but we must always realize, we still have one hundred percent control of how to accept and respond to any challenge. I also know I have an edge as I have been teaching stress management for years and really believe in the powers we have been given.  I TRIED BEING MISERABLE!

IT SUCKED, SO I GAVE IT UP!  Literally.

It may take you time to develop the habit of controlling your attitude in response to life, but I guarantee you that if you can change this one habit from a negative attitude, to a positive attitude, YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE IN WAYS YOU NEVER DREAMED –  IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS.Think about it seriously.  It’s not always a piece of cake, but you always have the choice to take that scenario and turn it into something you can at least, handle! CREATE a beautiful life. YOU ARE WORTH IT. I off to do my best at whatever comes next. 

 

 

 

 

 

FAST TIPS

Here’s some pretty up front stress management techniques:

 Stop wallowing in the slop and feeling sorry for yourself and get up and do something!  It’s been a rough day.  I presume it’s been a rough day for lots of people.  I would give a million dollars, if I had it, or all that I had, to be where I was last Janurary 4th and not step off the path and fall.  My life is changed forever.

 But combine that mistep with some inept doctors and here it is – a done deal.

I have accepted that.  I am adapting to all that I will never be able to do again, and now that I am six months after the surgery – I have to reappraise my goals and my own destiny.

 

 We all have choices to make.  That first piece of advice was for me too.  Waa waa I have it so rough.  Well, I do, but I also have it so good.  I have a warm bed to sleep in, and there are people that love me.  I am able to pet my dog, drive my car, and sit in the warm sunlight.  My husband accepts my disabilities and that is huge! 

 

 So with this little pep talk I will finish the thoughts of this post and get up and do something. No one can change your life except YOU.  You can be the master of your destiny, at least in response to life.  Choose well as you never know when things will change – and that you can be sure of – change.

 

 

 Second up front piece of advice.  STOP YELLING AND SCREAMING AND ARGUING.  IT IS ANNOYING, IT IS USELESS, AND IT RESOLVES NOTHING.

I find arguments heat up when alcohol is involved, so make a point of NOT fighting when drinking.  That is VERY URGENT.  Alcohol causes violence that in turn cause unforgiveable acts.

 

 It wasn’t the industralization of man that is the ruination of man.  It is the rampid and increasingly acceptable level of alcohol that is consumed by man.Besides, even without alcohol – yelling and screaming and fighting is just the biggest waste of time ever!  We could all die in the next five minutes by some horrific incident.

I am going out smiling!  Don’t waste your time, and don’t diminish someone else by screaming useless things,  you probably don’t mean, in their faces.

 

 

TAKE A TIME OUT.  Most things people fight over are VERY unimportant- many people can’t even remember why they fought in the first place.  Take a time out or walk away.  Don’t open your mouth if it’s not worthy of you! 

 

How to apply “stress management” to a difficult situation

I remember tossing and turning last night.  I could not get comfortable because the pain in my hips and back was too intense.

When I awoke I found it difficult to move.  It was more difficult to get behind myself and push myself to the edge of the bed.  My feet and ankles are so out of my control since the accident and surgery.  They are numb, they hurt, and they won’t listen to what my brain tells them to do! Well, they do partially – and I thank God for that.

I fight using the walker.  It has been five and a half months since the surgery.  I use it anyway as I need the balance for my drop foot, and both my hips are so “bone on bone”, the pain is far to intense to trust my legs to carry me.

With physical therapy I am strengthening my arms and I can see and feel the difference.

They now have become my strongest of body parts, and not my legs.  I thank God we have choices and can use our wits to use our bodies as best we can.

I AM NOT COMPLAINING, though it may sound like it.  I am grateful!  I found myself smiling when I brought the dog a treat.  I do still have so many blessings.  I believe one of the most wonderful gifts is the ability to change my habits.  We all have that gift.

I could wallow in pain and despair, but WHY?  That certainly isn’t fun, and I intend to use the rest of my life to hunt for, and put into action, the reasons I am still supposed to be living and breathing!  I still love being ALIVE.

Call me crazy, but aren’t we all?  Already, because of the ‘habits” I’ve cultivated, the prayers I say daily (THY will be do….) I naturally FEEL BETTER THAN I DID twenty minutes ago.

I HAVE OPPORTUNITY.  I HAVE INTELLECT (well, a smattering of it).  I HAVE LOVE, and am also ready to RECEIVE ANY LOVE bestowed upon me. I HAVE THE CHOICE TO MAKE MY LIFE ONE OF HAPPINESS AND PROSPERITY! I could go on and on and on, but I want to finish and post this right away, in case you have a minute to “read me” this morning.

My husband asks, “How is it that you love and care about people you have never met, and probably will never meet?

I answered him.  “All I know is that I believe we were born to worship God, as each of us know Him and allow Him to direct us.  I believe that we are all born earthlings, and all share the same capacity for LOVE.  We all feel hunger and sorrow, and pain.  We all

SHOULD, and CAN, feel happiness and strive for what is just in this world…for what is good and kind.  If that is sappy, then call me a sap.

When someone hurts, I share the pain.  When someone hungers, half way across the world, I pray and have hope for the hunger and suffering end.  I really do care.”

With that being said, I send LOVE and part of my unending positive energy and healing to whomever hasn’t yet discovered that we have a power source within that can regenerate all the days of our lives.

PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT.  Use your gifts – whatever they may be – and if you don’t know yours, start a search to explore yourself and begin to share with others.  The sharing alone will begin to heal you.  Even the tinest kindness to someone will bring a healing to you.

I find my pain more tolerable this morning now that I’ve done my best to connect with you and share some of the innate joy (and cultivated positive attitude) I have.

CREATE a day of beauty and love, no matter what the circumstance.  Remember, YOU ALWAYS have a choice of how to respond to ANY SCENARIO.  I am confident, if you take a few mindful breaths, stretch for a few moments, and smile simply because you know someone here REALLY CARES!  I am SURE there are others that do too!!

Blessings and love to you all.

Monitor your thoughts carefully

Thoughts become action. Make your thoughts positive – even if it takes a bit of thought! It will also have to become a habit. In the meantime CREATE a beautiful weekend.

Whoever is happy will make others happy too.
Mark Twain

Fall seven times, stand up eight.
Japanese proverb

Be silly. Be honest. Be kind.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Choose happiness. I really care!

Marsha

For you – Watch a butterfly flutter by!  The smallest things can make us smile.  ALLOW yourself to enjoy the day..

butter 3

Do this Now

Take a moment to regenerate.  Begin to free your thoughts from tension.  Start with the top of your head and feel the muscles of your scalp and forehead relax.  Take a breath, inhaling through the nose, and exhaling through the mouth, and actually feel you begin to relax and let go of tension.

Let your eyes relax.  You use them every waking moment.  Close them for a moment and rub your fingertips together until they begin to get warm – then place them gently on your eyes for a moment.  Now open your eyes and blink several times.

If you are 50 or older, begin to use “tears” or some other lubricant for your eyes.  The fluid begins to dry and the drop will help immensely, especially for those who sit at the computer all day long.

Now let your jaw and tongue relax.  Actually feel them relax.  Continue with your shoulders, then your arms and hands, your back, your chest, your abdomen, your thighs and legs and feet.

To help you continue to relax each set of muscles say to them silently: relax and let go.
Work on every area of your body temple until you feel that each muscles is thoroughly relaxed.  This relaxation can be done in two mindful minutes (a break at work to refresh and regenerate), or after you go home.

It may require some time before you relax completely.  But you can learn to relax in mind and body, remembering to gently remind each set of muscles to relax.  It may seem too simple to really work, but trust me, I have seen miracles wrought in stress management just by beginning with this simple relaxation.

Do it every hour for a minute or two, on your breaks, every four hours, or when you get home – but BE SURE TO DO IT.  If you are seeking true stress management, and I believe that is why you are here, it begins with you, and it can begin now.

What can be simpler?  Your own personal relaxation at no cost except a precious few minutes that can change your life.  CREATE your life, and God bless you!