Stress Management Magic

The Mind is a Beautiful Thing

It is inspiring to remember that our minds are capable of learning throughout our entire lives.  Our brains will learn, with nurturing, though learning isn’t always easy.  Learning can bring up lots of resistance and fears, and those feelings create stress right along side the stress of daily living.

Oftentimes we anticipate a “learning” scenario, but we feel anxiety.  Thoughts of Can I measure up or will I wash out?  Can I do this and still have time for a life? What if I’m too old to learn to change?  What if I can’t find the time to practice new skills?  Will I be disciplined enough to study?

These thoughts are normal, but they are only making your decision to begin, more difficult, and your potential to learn, a bit sketchy in your mind.

We are absolutely capable of learning our entire life!  The intellect is there, but our own insecurities often stop the flow of things.

When you begin something new, something you want to learn or do, start with positive thoughts in your mind.  Let go of limiting thoughts.  Drop the “can’t” from you vocabulary and do rehearsals of your desired goals within your brain.  Plan before you activate your actions.   Visualize success in your endeavors.

Your thoughts and words are self-fulfilling prophecies.  You can choose. You are the energy you project, whether it is negative or positive.  From your perceptions you conceive your life.  Don’t anticipate problems.  Anticipate success.

Through your own thoughts you hold the key to every situation.  Within you, you can transform and regenerate your life and empower your potential.

The potential of everything in your life is within you waiting to be radiated outward into the world as healthy thoughts and happy expectations.  You will attract like results into your life simply be changing the way you think – getting into the habit of powerful thoughts instead of those that block your success.

Take a deep breath…and relax!  You will do just fine if you give yourself half the chance you would give to someone else!  Be kind to yourself and you will enhance your life and the lives of others!  CREATE a beautiful life!

“What exactly does that mean?” you may ask.

It means simply that while you may be an expert at managing all the tasks at hand – whether it means completing a report at the office, finishing a term paper, or multi-tasking for three or four school age children, who have different directions to go, you don’t know how to manage yourself!

You may feel an overload of stress and rather overwhelmed, but you make sure everything is done to the best of your ability. The stressors mount and you pile them neatly within your mind, to deal with later, “when you have time”.

The disaster comes when a “trigger” sets of a string of emotions, in motion, and you have not yet to learned to manage you!

Negative stress is DISTRESS.  Distress causes failure.  Overworking and not coping can destroy your life.  We all experience distress from time to time, it is normal, and unavoidable part of living, but long term chronic stress is positively dangerous and can lead to severe mental and physical disability.

The good news is that you are actively seeking help or you wouldn’t be reading this post right now.  That is an excellent beginning.

Follow up with the same kind of plan you would improvise for work, or school, or the family.  Self-management is an essential skill to deal with all your psychological and physical stress.

Take the time to set you own personal goals.  Create clear goals for everything from exercise to nutrition.  Make room for a class in meditation or yoga.

Begin to take “mini-breathing” breaks throughout the day.  Just take a minute or two at your convenience, using deep inhalations and slow exhalations, fully exhaling.  As you inhale think: I am regenerating my oxygen machine.”  As you exhale think:  I am releasing negative and limiting thoughts.”

Stretch just a bit throughout the day, as well.  Simple stretches will do.  Arms overhead, hands clasp and stretching forward, gently rolling the head from shoulder to shoulder, pointing the toes and then pressing them back towards your body – any or all of these will really help keep you more relaxed.

Remember that if you fall apart you won’t be any good for anyone!  All those professional and personal dreams will fade away if you don’t care for you!

It doesn’t matter how “warm and fuzzy” you feel towards your children, when they reach pre-teen and teenage years, you will begin to feel the stress mount.

These are the times you children will begin to spread their wings and hone their skills for adulthood.  These are the times they will begin to voice strong opinions and do seemingly arrogant acts of defiance.

Remember these things come with the territory and are natural.  Many times what “appears” to be open resistance to your rules are just a natural spurt of independence, perhaps not performed as optimally you would hope for, but nonetheless, this will happen.

First in the line of defense (for your own intellect and calmness in the situation) – use your secret weapon. Begin breathing deeply and slowly and exhaling in the same manner.  This will calm you and help your brain to get the oxygen for a better response.  Being reminded of our gift of breathing is not a bad thing.  The more you are reminded, and use the gift, the more effectively you will handle the myriad of scenarios that will come.

Parents can make a huge difference in providing guidance and support for their teens.  At times it may not seem like your teen wants you around, and he or she may not all the time, but your child really does need you and knows you care.

Try to spend positive times together.  It’s impossible to love your teen too much.  Try to stay close and warm.  Remember to say, “I love you”.

Of course you have to set limits and structure.  You have to be clear in communication and let the teen know what you expect.  Rules and expectations should change throughout your child’s life, but all children need boundaries, discipline and love – and in that order.

One of the most important things is to be consistent.  Be consistent with your partner, and be consistent if you are alone.  Mixed messages can lead to frustration for parents and children.  The children need consistency to help them to learn to structure their lives.

Try to stay involved in your teen’s life.  Ask questions about school, schoolwork, and friends.  Attend your teen’s extracurricular activities.  Whether they say so or not, they NEED to know you are just as interested in them now as when they were younger.  Meet families of those teens that spend a large portion with your teens.

Explain yourself with discussion – not with yelling and abusive language.  Discuss the reasons for your rules and what consequences they may face for not following them.  Respect your teen and the teen will respect you.

TRY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT not to use HARSH discipline.  Harsh discipline includes yelling, slapping, hitting, and belittling.  If the situation is volatile, take a “break” and each of you pull yourself together and calm down for a while.  Words cut like a knife and you don’t want to regret your years down the road.  Besides, impulsive or reactive behavior just instigates a negative response from your teen and nothing will get accomplished.

Pick your arguments.  There will be many opportunities to disagree, but unless the scenario is life-threatening or really may be a danger to your child, remember they do need to do a certain amount of decision making that is positive and empowering to them.

Your teen is changing.  Physically, emotionally and cognitively, your teen is preparing for life as an adult in a difficult and trying world.  Be patient.  In the long run you will be glad you did.

Keep in mind, these youngsters are experiencing the most stress thus far in their young lives.  Try to be empathetic and remember how difficult it was!

If you need to get help, look for resources locally, and on line.

If you do these things your life and the life of your teen will be one hundred percent better!  Be on the teen’s side from an adult view, not another stumbling block in the path of their maturing.  Remember how much you loved them before this age and still do!

Take a breath and remember:” This too shall pass”.

Stress “Unmanaged” Will cause violence in a staggering number of people. It is almost inevitable!

Whether we choose to believe it or not, stress unmanaged will ultimately cause violence in many people.  Domestic violence, abuse towards children, intimate partners, (regardless of gender) and the elderly is on the rise.

Stress unmanaged can change of the body chemistry and can do can do infinite damage to credible brain function management. Anger causes words to cut to the heart, and actions to damage the recipient for his or her entire life in many circumstances.

Don’t be fooled.  Don’t be naïve.

There is a boiling point for water and for human emotions.  Whether the water stays in the pot or boils over, ultimately that, which is in the circumference of the pot, can be damaged or ruined entirely. .

Such is it with human behavior. Consequences of unmanaged stresses inflict suffering and can be life threatening.

Family conflicts are usually the result of stresses created in dysfunctional families.  Low levels of family conflict are warning signs for families that they are at risk of much greater abuse.  Any family member may intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the escalation of violence.

Stress is often created by feelings of hopelessness and or helplessness.  Other things that add to that could be excessive work hours, financial strain, and alcohol or drug abuse.

Personality disorders and/or early traumatic life experiences often predispose people to use violence in their own family relationships as adults.

Arguments created by stress can escalate.  Spontaneous arguments can lead to threats or actual physical assaults…without specific patterns, but they almost invariably escalate to more serious and injurious physical assaults.

We like to think “things” will resolve, or time will pass to “make it better”. For those individuals with particular personality traits or particular body chemistry, the danger lurks in close proximity to all who are near.

If YOU or someone near you is within the perimeters of this description, do something! Whether it be finding counsel (and if it is for YOU – please – do it now!) or just talking with family to consider action.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY>not just for the individual, but also for all who may tread in the same path, either by coincidence, or choice.

It YOU one of the people referred to in the paragraphs above, PLEASE take a slow breathe now in though the nose.  Now exhale slowly through the mouth.  Please do it again several times.

The added oxygen will calm you and help you to think more rationally, and remember, you have already taken the first step towards helping yourself by searching the Internet!  Don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  Connect with someone – perhaps a local group that deals with anger management.  Take time for yourself – you can’t afford not to do so!

If you are totally overwhelmed and need help and don’t know who to turn to you can email:  mo@jett.net.You are not alone.

It doesn’t have to be that way

Whatever the stress is in your life, you always have the choice of your response to it!  No one is forcing you to be emotionally in turmoil, or out of your mind with worry.

YOU CAN CHOOSE YOUR RESPONSE TO EVERY STRESSFUL SCENARIO. You may not think so, but no one “THINKS” in your mind except you. Thoughts become actions.

CREATE a better response to stress, for it will affect you, and those around you.

THINK before you speak. Take a breath and it will spark your intellect.

Remember words are sharper than any knife and they pierce the heart.

Take THIS opportunity to tell someone you love or appreciate him or her.

Make these moments of value.  The worth of your thoughts melding into actions will ultimately come back to benefit you! It always works.

The things that you think, and the quality of your oxygen intake and exhalations will ultimately become your life and health. YOU ARE IN CHARGE OF WHERE YOU GO FROM HERE.

Breathe and think positively. Teach your brain to create those “cell impressions” from which you can empower yourself simply through your thoughts. Ultimately, if you are consistent, your body physiology will be changed for the good.

Put aside any doubt and release any tendency to “make things work out” or to force an outcome. Open your thoughts and your life to the source of all intelligence from within you, and let go of worry.

Worry changes nothing for the better. It accomplishes no goals and no resolve. The only thing worry does is increase in increments, and cause more worry, more problems, and affect us physically in a negative manner. HONESTLY!

Spend time on thoughts that are positive and of quality and you will draw those things to you. Be mindful of your oxygen intake, and as you exhale send all those negative thoughts into oblivion.

What is past is past. The future is but a “hope for the best”. The moments you have are now. Make them of value to you and those around you.

If you think this is simplifying the problem…..it is; but the premise “knowledge is power” does materialize unless it is applied.  Use your intellect and begin to make changes and better choices now!

Remember this too; somebody in the world, who doesn’t even know you, really cares!

We’ve all been there!

Life gets harder in the long run.  This statement is not meant to discourage you.  It is simply a fact, another stress that must be met head-on.  That doesn’t mean you can’t meet the challenge.  You were born with an instinct to survive, and along this journey in life there are times that are so spectacular that the “down time” can be met with the knowledge you will be stronger and wiser as years increase.

Part of the reason that life gets harder is because our bodies age, and with aging comes some problems that we just can’t avoid.  Some can be avoided with proper nutrition and exercise, but some changes must simply be accepted.

You are encouraged to continue to learn stress management and seek good mental and physical health.  No one in the years past age fifty can promenade “back” to the good old days.  Even those of you in your thirties won’t be able to turn back the clock.  Your age is a done deal, so acceptance is imperative, and your true beauty is honestly reflected in your heart and mind.

When your reality seems more like “bleak than bling”, keep these thoughts in mind.

1.  You are not alone.  Every single human being faces these same problems -aging and sometimes trying to find a reason to live.

2.  If you are aging, you aren’t dead.  If you aren’t dead then there is a reason to live; you just may not recognize it at the moment!   Take time to counsel with others. There is help available, and no one will judge you. We’ve all needed help at one time or another.  Just getting your feelings out in the open and sharing with someone will help.

3.   Part of the reason you may feel that life just isn’t worth it, is the fact these are difficult times, and are often compounded by personal traumas.  Try to sit back and change your perspective of the scenario that is your biggest stumbling block. .  Sometimes we are so emotionally charged we neglect to focus clearly on options.

4.  Enter the world of volunteering your time.  Why? Because you will divert your own attention to something worthwhile and in the process you may find many reasons to live.

5.  Remember the one thing you can count on is CHANGE.  Whatever the problem is – everything can change in the blink of an eye. What seems an insurmountable problem at this moment may be handled in the next moment.

6.  Because you are overwhelmed by stress you have probably begun shallow breathing.  Your body needs oxygen.  Concentrate on deep breathing and getting what you need to supply your body and mind optimally.

7.  If you are using alcohol to “relax”, keep in mind it is a stimulant.  After the rush and purported relaxation there will be the letdown.  The chemical reaction is always the same.  Don’t be deceived.

8. Pray.  It can’t hurt, and even if you don’t believe, you will mentally be releasing your concerns and thoughts. This action can help and is a positive step towards your healing.

A great thought for those thoroughly challenging times:  LIFE ISN’T ABOUT HOW TO SURVIVE THE STORM…BUT HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN!

Does it seem sometimes that stress inducing bad things gang up on you all at once?  You may wonder: “Why me?  Why do all the bad things happen to me!”?

Well they don’t.  We’ve all had pity parties.Many are justified, but they can’t continue you will suffer the consequences.If you make a list of “your bad things” and compare them with someone else’s you are sure to find many people have it worse than you do.  Think about it.

If that thought doesn’t mean much to you because it’s not “you”, then think about this:  you need to rethink what is happening, and respond to it with intellect and calm – for you!.

No matter what happens to you, there is always a different way to see things. The truth is bad things happen to good people.  Every human on this planet has endured at least one crisis, and many people, more than a few of them.

You may not deserve one bad thing to happen to you, but things do happen, and what happens – happens!  The only choice you have is to broaden your perspective, and focus on learning from the incidents, and moving forward.

You may find that years down the road, your life changed for the better because of a specific past trauma.  Your character has been honed and your wisdom too.

If you succumb to today’s trials you’re done!  Even if you haven’t been able to find, to date, the “good” from the past you’ve endured, you will recognize it when it is time.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in!  When something triggers potential negatively charged emotions, take a breath!  If you are new to “the magic”, prior posts tell you how to begin to breathe and manage different stresses in your life.

What you “feel” about circumstances evolve into your life.  The power of thought, when rightly directed, is the key to it all. You will draw all the injury, all the anger, and all the fear to you like a magnet.

Likewise, if you think forgiveness, love, appreciation and hope,

you will draw all the joy and positive thoughts from the world to you.  This will trigger a pattern of blossoming in you.

Negative or positive thoughts, they are probably sparked with the same triggers, simply different interpretations.

Right thought holds the key to every situation. Be regenerated and transformed by your thoughts.  Today is the day.

Choose to create your reality.

The benefits we experience when pets are in close proximity to us are really not recognized fully by most of us.  There is a powerful human-animal connection that is only now being fully recognized.

There have been many workshops held on the benefits of owning pets.  There were just a few scientific papers available on the subject a few years ago, though snow studies have revealed that pets boost survival rates for coronary care unit patients. That was an eye-opening finding.

People have known the healing effect for centuries, but recently new data on the role of chemistry in the relationship has been revealed.

When a person interacts with a pet, the central nervous system releases several hormones that cause feelings of pleasure.  One hormone in particular, oxytocin, seems to play a major role in reinforcing this bond.

The hormone creates a sense of warmth, nurturing and calm.  Simply petting dogs releases the same chemical in both humans and the animals!  Researchers know this with certainty, but are not clear as to how two species can produce feelings of peace, closeness and contentment in each other.

What is clear is the fact that this bonding is very helpful in managing stress of almost any kind.

Animals (particularly dogs) give unconditional love.  It doesn’t matter if the owner yells, or is unkempt, or even doesn’t offer the best care to the animal.  All the animal wants is love and approval by their owner.  They accept their owners and companions without qualification.  An animal’s acceptance

is nonjudgmental and forgiving. They don’t play psychological games people sometimes play.  They accept you the way you are.

Pet ownership particularly helps children to learn to read body language.  The experiences children have with their pets later develop into relationships with people, and actually helps develop more empathy for others.

Children who are fortunate to have a pet learn nurturing skills, and the responsibilities that come with it. They also have in store for them lots of fun to share with a new pet.

Over eons it is well established that touch is very important for the nourishment for our spirits and minds.  Sometimes people who have been neglected find it difficult to accept touch from other humans.  The relationship with animals, simply the act of petting a dog, can create feelings of security and warmth; feelings of love without demands humans often desire.

In cases like these, having an animal to hold, hug, and touch can make a world of difference to people who would otherwise have no positive, appropriate physical contact.

Astounding cases of pet heroism and loving acts prove that the interaction between pets and humans, even just passing contacts, are healing and worthy of categorizing as important relationships in the management of stress.

Find ot for yourself and consider, if you don’t own a pet, possibly adopting one for yourself and your family.  More fun and less expensive than therapy, pet ownership can truly be a healing factor in your life.

When stress is not managed well, you are headed to a potentially parlous journey of poor physical health, and possibly deadly diseases.  The risk you take by ignoring your symptoms of stress and the feeling of being overwhelmed by it, is life threatening.

Without a doubt mental stress unmanaged affects your physical health.

The body is all one thing, a coherent whole, with many different systems and functions.  There is no separation of parts when one is afflicted.

Your thoughts, what goes into the mouth, and how you treat your body all have an effect throughout the body.  Just like when something happens to one member of the family, it affects all the rest of the family, some more than others, but everyone is affected.

It is the same with our bodies.  If there is a tight muscle in the hip for instance, from a corresponding weakness on the opposite side, then that hip is favored because of the tension restricting its motion.  That puts a different strain on the foot, and with the foot in a different position; there will be a strain on other sets of muscles.  This is going to change the body’s general posture, affecting the positions of the internal organs. That, in turn, restricts the nutrition to the organs and changes the excretions and hormonal functions.

The chemical/psychological balance of the person is changed and this affects the individual cells in the body.  As the body and mind are affected, the person will think and feel differently, so he is going to assume still a different posture.  Then there is one more tight area, one more tension, one more cycle.  Everything we do affects all the rest of the body.

Humans are structural, chemical, psychological and spiritual beings.  The primary structure and the natural chemistry work together to influence the psychological, and vice versa.

A problem may exist in any part of an area, and disturbances that arise in other systems may represent the body’s efforts to compensate for the troubled system

To put our body in true balance, we must take into account all aspects of health – structural, mental and nutritional – as well as need for exercise and rest.

You only have one place to live – YOUR BODY.  Your body houses your intellect and your spirit, and will serve you well for many years if you take the time to learn to manage your stress.

Start today for this moment and for a better tomorrow.

Take a breath slowly in through the nose.  As you exhale let the carbon dioxide out slowly.

As you inhale again know you are providing for your LIFE.

As you exhale, picture negative thoughts flying out with your exhalation.

Take care of yourself and you take care of your family and friends.  How much will the works you do count if you find yourself mentally and physically sick from allowing unresolved stress to take control of you?

It’s a choice.

Easy Quick breath :

3 short deep inhalations- sniff, sniff, sniff.

and

1 long and slow exhalation – with head high but humbled- shoulders back – make room for the new.

Do it again.

Do it again.  (Be careful: it’s natural, free, and WILL envigorate and relax at the same time!)  Could be addictive!

Do it again and slowly now both on the inhalation and exhalation.

SLOW DOWN – it’s okay! Listen to music you love, dance around just for fun,  get back to work refreshed from your short break, or simply return to the tasks at hand!  Remember  your life is your choice – really!  How you respond to what happens is one-hundred percent your decision.

Before any response to circumstances get oxygen to your brain.  The brain needs fifty percent more oxygen to make the best decisions.  It’s available any time you choose to breathe mindfully. It is a very positive secret weapon in times of high stress.