Don’t you think it’s difficult sometimes to quantify why you are here on planet earth? I know I’ve found it difficult many times. Perhaps you’ve thought:

“It’s just not worth the trouble.”
“My kids are raised, my life means nothing.”
“My husband and I split up and I will never find my dreams.”
“I am getting old and hurt every day. There is no future for me.”
“I am a looser.”

Well, I call BS and say STOP THE PITY PARTY. I’ve been there!
I’ve been “there” many times – more times than I care to remember. I’ve been on the edge, without hope, without purpose, alone, overwhelmed with life in general.

Guess what? I’m still here! I just flatly decided a long time ago I am stronger than to give in to life of the influences of circumstances…even circumstances I helped create.

I admit my faith has been an abiding factor in my recovery – but just to let you know, I HAVEN’T ALWAYS had my faith to pull me up by the bootstraps. Sometimes I’ve had an “empty cup” and had to remember I am human, and human kind are built for endurance.

So what if you’ve lost everything you ever worked for SO FAR….I’ve done that too! Mama always said, “Material things come and go…” Guess what? THEY DO!

Pinch yourself. It hurts doesn’t it? So stop inflicting unnecessary pain to yourself. It’s difficult enough to rise above circumstance; don’t add to your own challenges.

If you are breathing, if you are thinking, if you are reading and using your hands to type – if you are alive – you still have the chance to find HAPPINESS.

The secret is, it comes from within YOU! As you think, so shall you be. No matter what the circumstance, there is always a path to travel. That path, ultimately, is of your own creation.

Don’t give up. Don’t give in. You are stronger than you ever dreamed. You are worth a life…your life. You are worth gritting your teeth, rolling up your sleeves, and trying again!

If you don’t think I know what I am talking about – share your experience with me privately and I’ll show you I know what I am talking about! I haven’t been through the hell in my life for nothing…pain shared makes your experience easier.

Share it privately with me and I will respond privately to you, with love and support. I promise. I’ve been a personal health consultant (mind, body and spirit) for over
thirty years, and lived at least five different lives! Let me help, no charge, if I can!
The spirit is willing!
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Opt for Optimism

Research has shown that the majority of illnesses, including backaches, headaches, and even heart disease, can be caused or influenced by our feelings and our stress levels.

When we experience life changes-positive or negative-our bodies need time to recover.  If we have an optimistic attitude, it can help speed recover and may even keep you healthier than someone with negative attitudes.

By learning to look on the “bright side” you can help counteract the negative effects of stress and improve your overall health.

Look on the Bright Side

The classic definition of an optimist is a person who sees a glass as half full, while the pessimist sees it as half empty.

Optimists choose to feel hopeful about how they see a situation.

Optimists are positive thinkers who practice positive “self-talk”. Optimists tell themselves, “I can do it.  I will do it. ”

Surprisingly, optimism, or positive thinking, can help accomplish a surprising number of personal goals.

How to Become an Optimist

Find a role model.  Find someone who seems to make the best of any given situation.  Find out how that person maintains that attitude and copy the behavior!   Get in the habit of responding in a positive manner.  Chances are that this role model, even during difficult times, will get through the circumstance with fewer negative effects.

Practice positive self-talk.  Repetition is the mother of all learning, and the only way to change the habit of constant negativity, is by training yourself.   Tell yourself positive things for a month.  Make that brief commitment and follow through and it can change your life.  Leave out of your vocabulary negative words such as “can’t, won’t, or don’t”.

Practice positive affirmations.  Affirmations are positive, and motivating statements.  Use short “I am” statements:  “I am calm and will respond with intellect.”  “I am changing to become more positive.”  Say the affirmations out loud several times, and then imagine it happening.  You are in the process of creating new brain cells that are based on your positive thoughts and affirmations.

No one is optimistic all the time.  It just isn’t possible.  We are all human.  But anyone can learn how to adopt a more positive, healthier attitude.  When you practice being an optimist, you’ll be on your way to a happier, healthier body, mind and spirit.

Now take a deep inhalation of oxygen and think, “I am in charge of my attitude and the response to any challenge I may encounter.”

CREATE a wonderful day!

I never dreamed the day would wind up like this.  It began like any other.  But one thing about life I know for sure is that you cannot count on things remaining the same, and just as you believe you “have things under control”, another stressor will come to fruition.

I have made many mistakes in this life, as we all do.  I know the majority of them and have endeavored to learn and go forth.  Apparently something triggered this and what is done, is done.

So where am I going with this?  This website is dedicated to teaching stress management techniques that work in crisis.  This “problem” is a huge crisis for me, and here is how I am handling it.

No one ever said some stress is not disastrous.  No one ever said it couldn’t break your heart – at least for a time.

The first thing I did was to allow myself to cry. The kind of cry that makes you sob long after the tears diminishes.    As a matter of fact, I am still weeping after several hours.  A good cry washes the eyes and releases all the pent up emotions that are strangling us from within.

I also stopped and used my oxygen to “settle down” and keep my body relaxed, and my mind functioning as optimally as possible.

If you are alone (and I am alone, for a time), remember there is help somewhere. I did hug my puppy. It’s proven that hugging or petting an animal is a great help to calm stress.

If you have a friend, neighbor or relative that you can share with, call them.  I said prayers.  There are also resources available to help you if you are desperate.

Call your church; look up websites for critical help.  Call local organizations that are available for counseling.

I am settled enough now to sit and write this post, and believe it-the writing has actually made me feel better.  It has made me quit crying, and settle down. It has diverted my attention to what is in front of me, and not the reality I can do nothing to change this situation right now.  I did not react and get mad.  I am slowing myself so I will be able to make rational decisions about this problem.

Go for a walk.  You can workout at the gym.  Diversion can be a lifesaver.

Remember, some things in life YOU will not be able to resolve like you would desire to do so!  That’s just the way it is.

Suicide is not an option.  It’s actually rather stupid as it

really stops ANYTHING.  No healing, no life.  It leaves a legacy you probably wouldn’t want to have as people are remembering you.

Alcohol, drugs, cigarettes – they are not the answer.  They take away your true self and muddle your thoughts and reactions.

So this is the reality as it is happening to me.  You may not be able to change the scenario, but you always have a choice as to your response to it!

I am going to take a few more breaths, close for today, and simply say, YOU CAN HANDLE whatever comes up as a stress factor.  I am.

You are not alone either.  If you need to do what I am doing by writing, drop me an email and I will respond with the best help I can share!

No matter what age you are, good health habits are a huge part of taking care of yourself.  Practicing good habits do not guarantee that you will never get sick, or that you will live longer, but they will improve the way you feel and the quality of your life.  They also build your immunity, which can keep you from “catching” frequent colds and letting illness rule your life.

You only have one body to live in, so let’s review a bit of pertinent information. It’s not as difficult as you think.

Stay active with exercise

Don’t respond with “I hate exercise”.  Exercise does not mean you have to spend your life at the gym.  It should be fun, interchangeable, and something that will trigger excitement instead of dread.

There is a world of wonderful ways to get exercise.  The first one is simply walking.   A recent study showed that by taking a brisk, half-hour walk just six times a month, you cut the risk of early death by forty-four percent!  That’s astounding.

If you just can’t “squeeze” that into your schedule – first of all, shame on you!  You are worth that minimum amount of time to keep your body healthy.  After all, if you aren’t healthy you can’t perform any function optimally.  The world that surrounds you, family, work, friends, peers, will all NOT GET the best of you – so take a breath and read on.

If you still reconcile that you cannot afford that amount of time, do this:  Park further from the store.  On a break walk (even if it’s up and down the back stairs or through the office.)

Take your lunch and find a friend and walk the first fifteen minutes.  Stand in front of the television and walk in place.

Anything you do will help to better your health.  The trick is to do it regularly.  Get in the habit of allowing you that minimal amount of time to help your mind and body.

Your circulation will be better and you will return to your job refreshed.  A ten-minute walk can be relaxing and invigorating too.

You can join a health club.  Take a yoga class, walk with a friend, or play tennis.  Vacuum. That may not be the most fun, but consider it a dance, and sing, and it will be better.  Even gardening is a great exercise.  Body movement and breathing are keys to good health.

Exercise has many benefits.  It reduces STRESS, boredom, depression, and improves sleep.  It improves the skin and muscle tone.  It improves blood circulation, balance and flexibility.  It lowers blood pressure and even reduces the risk for adult-onset diabetes.

So now – get up and shake everything.  Take a breath.  Come

on, it’s you LIFE!  Do something to make it better.  This is easy stuff.  Take another breath and stretch your arms above your head and remember – “I am alive.  I can do whatever I choose!

It’s REALLY my option!”

The only person you are destroying – ultimately – is YOU.

SO DON’T GIVE UP!

If you want to change – do it.

If you want help – ask for it; seek it.

If you are alone – pray.

If you are afraid – think of the worst that can happen.  Accept it – then it’s all up hill from there.

The only devastation is from within.  The only defeat is your acceptance of it.  The only one in charge – IS YOU!

Get off your gluts and begin again.  You want stress management?  That’s  my advice.

You are the captain of your ship.  Sink or carry on man!

Yes it can!

Everyone knows that laughter feels good.  Laughter can make any situation a little more bearable, but did you know it could actually make you healthier?

Children laugh about 400 times a day.  Adults only laugh about 15 times a day, and that’s not the majority of adults.

Many of us get so wrapped up in the serious side of our jobs, whether it be in an office, working outside, or parenting.  The trouble with that is we simply aren’t laughing enough.  When we get so bogged down and serious, our stress levels spiral out of control.  Oftentimes we forget there is really still a lighter side to life.

How often do you let yourself laugh?  How often to you chuckle or really laugh until it hurts?  Not often enough I’d bet!

Laughter is really an all-around health booster.  According to “Science of Laughter” on the Discovery Health Web site, when we laugh, natural killer cells, which destroy tumors and viruses, increase.

Not only that, but Gamma-interferon (a disease-fighting protein, T-cells (important for our immune system) and B-cells

(which make disease -fighting antibodies) increase too!

Blood pressure lowers with laughter, and you breathe more when laughing, thereby increasing oxygen in the blood.  That also encourages healing.

Be aware though, what “some people” call humor is not beneficial.  When jokes and laughter turn into jabs towards others, and yourself, you are no longer reaping the benefit of your laughter, and are in fact increasing pain and putting distance between yourself and others.

Healthy humor is a whole body experience comprised of three key components:

1.  Laughter, the reflexive and contagious physical experience.

2.  Wit, the cognitive experience.

3.  Amusement (or mirth), the feel good emotional experience enhanced when shared with others.

When these three elements are part of your “laughter” experience, you can be absolutely sure your body is benefiting!

Laughter really does lower blood pressure.  Many tests have shown that those who laugh heartily on a regular basis have lower blood pressure than the average person.

Laughter protects our hearts.  Laughter can help prevent heart disease.

The “humor factor” actually changes our biochemical state, similar to what the “flight or fight” syndrome does – only laughter changes are good.  It decreases stress hormones and increases infection-fighting antibodies.  It makes us more attentive, and increases the heart rate and pulse.

Laughter is a great workout for your diaphragm, abdominal, respiratory, facial, leg, and back muscles.  It actually gives us a good workout.  It massages abdominal organs, tones the intestinal functioning, and strengthens muscles that hold abdominal organs in place.  A hearty laugh can burn calories equivalent to several minutes on the rowing machine or an exercise bike.

Humor does improve brain function, which in turn helps relieve stress.  It stimulates both sides of the brain to enhance our intellect and learning.  It eases psychological stress and allows people to retain more information.

When we laugh our ability to connect with others improves.   Humor helps us to replace negative emotions with good feelings.

When humor enters it changes our behavior.  We talk more, make more direct eyes contact with others, our energy increases, and simply put, it makes us feel better!

Look for everyday humor.  There is humor to be found!  There are things constantly around us that can incite humor if we let them.  Honestly, you can find silly things happening around you every day.

Look at children.  They can find humor in anything! Surround yourself with positive people.  Take a humor break and pick up a book of jokes to read.  When you start to feel pressured, pick the book up and read a few jokes.

I remember a time years ago that I went to the beach with friends.  Trying to impress the guys, I attached a long ponytail to my own hair.  I looked hot!

When asked to play volleyball I said, “Of course.”  I had a hundred pins holding the darn thing in.  We played for a few minutes and then my ponytail fell off!

Everyone looked shocked and I simply said “Time out”, and I set it by the sidelines and kept playing.  No one laughed or mentioned it, and the game continued.  I played hard and our team won.

When over, I put the hairpiece in my purse and my friend and I went back to the house.  Once the door was closed we burst into laughter and fell down on the floor and laughed until our sides hurt.  I’m still smiling.

Rather than suffer humiliation or embarrassment, I chose to ignore the stress, and just keep going.  It was the best thing I possibly could have done.

Remember, this is your life!  Don’t forget to have fun.  Enjoy your life.  Take a breath and take heart.  It will work out easier if you remember to laugh!

Smile now.  The good times are closer than you think.

Actually these two “techniques” have been around for decades, but the reason you probably don’t often think of them as something that will manage stress, is that you may not realize the power these two techniques will present to you when practiced.

They may not seem like something that will really help manage your stress – but they do!

Simply written, these are the techniques.

1.  Forgive.

2.  Count your blessings.

Don’t stop reading and scoff, thinking “Oh sure…this won’t work.”   This is the truth; the magic of doing these two things, if you are sincere in heart, will astound you.

Beginning with forgiveness, you must open your mind enough to realize that whatever is still burning you with anger, and holding you from forgiving, whether it directed to a person or situation, is a huge stressor.

The power within you is endless, but you must begin to develop your receptivity of this power by growing in understanding and practicing changing your mind about a few things.  You must be willing to believe that two small techniques can be life changing.  The statistics are in.  Results have been proven.

To forgive you must be able to step out of the prison you have built around you and outgrow old tendencies to “to hold grudges” against your fellow human beings, and life itself

In doing this you will release a mountain of negative thoughts and feelings.  Old emotions that are pent up and that make you feel terrible, will be gone!  There will be a burden lifted from you.  Let someone else JUDGE what has happened…the people involved, or the scenario.

You don’t have to hang out with people you forgive. You just need to forgive them.  They are human, and so are you.  Personally I’ve made a million mistakes in my life, so I find it easy to forgive when I think of that.

Even “big forgiveness” for major wrongs is possible.  You see, the only person who suffers is the person who dwells in the hell of not forgiving.

Now, when it comes to counting blessings, there are always so many blessings to count if we just take a moment and think!

We are creatures who have been given that capacity…try it.

(If you need help – find it!  YOU ARE WORTH LIFE!)

Name ten things you are grateful for right now.  Here is my list right off the bat:

1.  My children and grandchildren are okay.

2.  My husband still loves me.

3.  I can walk, run, dance, see, hear, and laugh.

4.  I have running water.

5.  Music is available for me to surround myself with and enjoy.

6.  I don’t have to kill another animal in my life to survive, or to help my children survive.

7.  I can use the internet productively and choose NOT to be a pervert.

8.  Millions of people close to me haven’t been displaced because of flooding……..

9.  I still do believe in God and Jesus Christ.

10.  My puppy loves me.

This is NOT in the order of the absolute most important ….they just came to mind in a flash!

YOU STILL HAVE CHOICES IN YOUR LIFE IF YOU ARE A BREATHING HUMAN BEING.  THEY MAY NOT ALWAYS BE THE CHOICES YOU THINK YOU NEED OR WANT, BUT YOUR RESPONSE TO WHAT HAPPENS IS ALWAYS YOUR CHOICE.

CHOOSE WISELY AND CREATE WONDERFUL MOMENTS…THAT IS ALL WE HAVE ARE THE MOMENTS THAT ARE FLEETING.  SOMEONE REALLY CARES IN CYBERSPACE!to you, when used and practiced. .

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Also you can – Try yoga – Check out stress management classes on line – Take a breath and release old burdens and take in new thoughts – Pray -Talk to friends – Find a support group.

Once in a while it really is okay to cry.  Even if you are a guy sometimes it may be one of the only ways you find to release stress from within.

We often hide anxiety, concerns about finances, thoughts of injustice, resentments, or feelings of inadequacy.  We go on and on with these feelings, and others, building up inside of us.

This website will always honestly face the same challenging scenarios that face us all at one time or another.  Our resolve will be carried out together, realistically.

This morning I realized that I had allowed some emotions to be pent up inside of me.  I really didn’t know it consciously, but when this particular person was accusing and negative towards me, wrongfully, I felt, I went to a personal space and burst into tears.

If you’ve ever cried like a child, you can visualize my mix of flowing tears and sobbing sounds.  It was as if the dam inside had burst and came roaring out of me.

I allowed myself to cry until the tears stopped and I was left only with that sighing that can’t be helped after crying hard.  It felt good to release all those thoughts that were pent up inside about this particular person.  I felt somehow cleansed of the hurt, and I know for sure my eyes got a good cleansing.

With that release of stress out of the way, I was able to modify intrusive thoughts that were based strictly on emotion, but without that fine mix of intellect we need to face our challenges.

I began to breathe calmly and mindfully, as we can do right now.  Inhale through the nose and visualize your mind and body calming because it is receiving excellent oxygen.

Exhale through the mouth visualize this to be the “house-cleaning” of negativity and wasted worry.  Repeat the inhalation slowly, as I too am doing, and then exhale again slowly.

Just a few mindful breaths throughout the day can be one of the simplest and most important techniques in managing stress.

Allow you to bawl loudly or even just weep quietly once in a while.  There is no shame in it, and it can be a very healthy release of pent up emotions.

I feel really ready to tackle the day’s challenges now, and hope you do too!

Our human body is truly magical.  In many instances,  it can be self-healing, if we only take the time to learn some basic facts.

For instance, did you know that a complex part of our brain called the autonomic nervous system prepares our body when stress enters a scenario?

You’ve probably heard of it.  It’s called the “fight or flight” response.  You’ve probably experienced it.  Most humans have experienced it and some, people many times.

Here is the magical part.  Without you even realizing it your body prepares for danger by slowing digestion so that blood may be directed to the muscles and the brain.  In the face of potential danger it is more important to be alert and strong than for food to digest.  It’s automatic!

Your breathing gets faster to supply more oxygen for the muscles.  The heart speeds up; blood pressure soars and forces blood to part of the body that needs it.  (Remember your heart beginning to pound faster when you are stressed?)

Perspiration increases to cool the body.  This allows you to burn more energy.  Muscles tense and prepare for action.  All this is done automatically!

Chemicals are released to make your blood clot more rapidly.  If you are injured this clotting can reduce blood loss.  Sugars and fats pour into the blood to provide fuel for quick energy.

This “body magic” is done automatically for you when stress enters, when you are injured, or fearful.  The reaction can be invaluable for survival in critical situations.

The problem that can occur with this automatic magic is that if it happens too often, it can take a serious toll on your body, mind, and your spirit!  You don’t want to “wear out” your body before it’s time!

This is one of the important reasons to learn to recognize and manage stress.  It will put you in charge of your own life, and you will learn other methods to address the majority of stressors.

BEGIN NOW by taking in a deep inhalation through the nose. Visualize it traveling to your brain and through your body.   Now exhale through the mouth slowly. When you inhale remember that when you keep breathing in a stressful situation, you are empowering yourself.  You will stay more relaxed, think optimally, and give yourself a chance to respond instead of reacting to a circumstance. You will keep the body from automatically going into “fight or flight” unnecessarily.

Take another mindful breath.  Hold it a few seconds, and now exhale.  When you exhale remember it is a mind housekeeping tactic to visualize all the negativity flying from your mouth into oblivion (also clearing the carbon dioxide to make room for more oxygen.)

You can learn through, exercising your mind, to slow your breathing, calm your heart rate, lower your blood pressure, and relax those muscles, which in turn will allow you to make the best choices possible for the scenario you face.

Please inhale slowly and deeply.  Hold it a few more seconds, and now exhale through the mouth.  Use this secret weapon whenever needed. It’s readily available, the only cost is your thought process, and it WORKS beautifully!

No matter what the circumstance, you always have a choice how to respond.  Use your oxygen before speaking and it will enable you to respond intellectually instead of simply emotionally.  A fine mix of the two will offer any scenario a better result.

Create a wonderful day.

After studying and teaching stress management for over thirty years, I have some simple but life altering techniques, observations and realizations.

We all have the power to transform the natural stress that comes from living into energy capable of improving our physical and spiritual health

Secret number one is that the essence of life is transformation. These simple words hold the key for changing your life for the better. Join me in transformation and see if it isn’t so.  These are thoughts for the day that can transform your life and the lives of others

Cherish your pets and the lives of all animals.  They are gifts to us and can be dear friends.

When someone asks for a donation, try to give with whatever you can – So many people have been left homeless-and we are not their judges; just their brothers and sisters.

Breathe deeply and mindfully.  Do it again!

Remember to look for all those blessings we take for granted.  The breeze in the trees, the sound of singing birds, the laughter of a child, these are all blessings we can enjoy!

Take a walk. Crunch leaves as they begin to fall from the trees. Watch the changing colors…it’s AWESOME.  Love!

Humble beginnings or wealth from the start, what truly matters are things of the heart.

Take your family for a walk, or just do something spontaneous for fun together.  Love deeply.

Don’t keep yourself in a prison.  Take a break from your electronics and refresh the memory of talking to a real human, or sitting in the sunshine!

Take a breath.  Stretch.  Smile.

Make a point of actually playing with your children while they are small. Catch a fish, catch a ball, and catch precious moments. We are only here for one short period of time.

Watch the sun rise as darkness lifts, watch the sunset.  How many times have you left to see the stars at night or revel in the full moon?  Not enough in a lifetime for me.

If you can’t leave – take a mental vacation.  Even if it’s just for a minute or two, visualize a favorite place.  Listen to the sounds of nature.  Take a breath and use your mind to renew your zest for life.

Cherish the earth.  It is our home.

Cherish your body.  It is the only place your Spirit has to live!

Don’t let the sour expressions or negative attitudes of people affect your day.

Let your light shine through and be grateful for small miracles.  Start a cycle of sharing smiles and positive thoughts.

Say a prayer kneeling, with head bent and a humble heart and God will tend to your needs.

Take a breath and exhale all your negative thoughts.  Create a wonderful weekend for you and those you love!

Every single thought listed on this post is a form of stress management!  Our thoughts guide our actions.  Our actions build our lives.  Make them “right” thoughts and “thoughtful” actions.  It is a choice!

You can do it!