Relationship problems can steal your life right out from under you.  The “tradition” in marriage has been to stick it out no matter what happens…suck up the tough times and get counseling; whatever it takes to live up to the words of the vows, “keep the family together”, and retain society’s ideal of marriage.

GET REAL!  There is a point that you must draw the line.  We all know that.  What seems to be a forgotten protocol is that life continues AFTER you draw the line.

How many times have you moved backwards in order to accommodate that very person stepping over the line once again.  What good is a line of demarcation (boundary or limits) if you justify your partner encroaching (intruding on a person’s territory, or a thing considered to be a right) over and over?   Advances like that will gradually cause irreparable damage. This isn’t hypothesis. This is proven fact.

If in our world wars it was acceptable to cross the line of demarcation, ultimately, our military leaders would have recognized and had to accept defeat.

There is a LIMIT to what is acceptable to an individual human’s rights.  What transpires ultimately AFTER the line is crossed many times terrifying.

A young woman was recently killed by her boyfriend; though it was a tragic death that was not intended, but an accident with a tragic outcome, there were signs to be noted.

She was 22 and a successful student at the University of Virginia. He was a lacrosse player.  You may be familiar with the story.

For the loss, there can be no recovery, in this lifetime.  Sadly, there were signs of abuse.  No matter what ANYONE tells you, you will register a “gut level” feeling when things go wrong, over and over, and you innately know, when it’s time to call the game.

The number one indicator is when a person’s social life begins to change.  When there is no witness to the abuse, it is hearsay. It is much easier to abuse when it’s “their word against yours.”  But you know!

Watch these signs as well.  (The use of alcohol in violent cases of abuse has been well documented.)

1. You are spending much less time with family and friends.

2.  The relationship has WILD ups and downs.

3.  You are afraid to miss a phone call from “that” person.

4.  The person you are with continually insults you.  For instance, you order dinner from the person’s favorite restaurant, but instead of thanking you for your thoughtfulness, you are criticized and insulted for your selections.

5.  You are afraid.  Think about it.

6.  You have thought:  “I hate him (or her).”  “I hate my life.”

“I wish we weren’t together.”

THESE ARE JUST A FEW SIGNS that should kick you in the ass!

Don’t be a fool.   Change your life or you may become a statistic!

What does this have to do with stress management?  EVERYTHING, and you know it…picture your life, as you dreamed it… not perfect, but at least peaceful, relatively happy, and SAFE.

BE SAFE.  Do something before escalation to devastation.

Pain / Stress / Forgiveness = closely related feelings.  Both physical and mental pain are intrinsic, contained wholly within the human intellect and spiritual nature.  You all have more within you, powers yet untapped or realized.

Humans gifts often go to the grave with people not using their gifts or even recognizing them simply because the world has told them they aren’t up to the job.  You are up to it! You have to FIND, and DRAW, from that power within; the untapped reservoir of all the characteristics and strength you dreamed you would have.   Perhaps someone told you that you would fail or that you had no hope to accomplish anything in this lifetime. They were wrong and you know it innately.

Dealing with words wrongly spoken is a huge stress to handle.  So if it’s happened to you, just draw in a slow breath, wait a few seconds, and exhale fully through the mouth.

(In case you don’t know how to breathe for YOUR benefit, here it is – short and sweet – and life enhancing any time you choose to use it!)

“ Deep Breathing is the simplest and most important form of stress reduction. Most people breathe only from their upper diaphragm. This is not the way we were intended to breathe. We are particularly prone to breathe incorrectly when stressed, by taking quick and shallow breaths. The exaggerated form of this is hyperventilating, which some people do when experiencing an anxiety or panic attack. The proper way to breathe is to inhale deeply from the abdomen. You should be able to feel your lungs fill up with air as you inhale. If you do not breathe from the solar plexus, you are not getting enough oxygen. You may think that it looks better to hold your stomach in but you are losing out on vital oxygenation of the body. Deep breathing is a very quick way to release tension, particularly noticeable in the neck, shoulders and head (headache).

Stand any place and inhale deeply so that you feel the air expand in the lower part of your abdomen and your stomach extend out. Hold the breath as long as it is comfortable and then exhale slowly…”

Rachael Collins

02 April 2009

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Pain is a unique experience.  Pain can put a halt to any activity your may want to do.  It can stop you from every dream in your life.  If you can’t play, walk, move, sleep soundly, or think and concentrate, you are being robbed of your life.  It’s time to change things around!

Pain that you “think you can’t make go away” can, overcome you, and can change the way you feel about yourself and others.  It can destroy relationships and lives.  The secret to managing your pain is first to unleash all the anger you have for so many things. You have suffered enough.  You have been mad at others and circumstances long enough! Don’t dwell on the past ONE MORE MOMENT!

As you inhale think:  I am empowered

As you exhale think:  I forgive others and myself

As you inhale think:  I am wonderful and can make things better

As you exhale think:  No more negativity.  No more useless anger

As long as you are alive you have the capacity to change.  “Why should I change?”, you may ask.  If you are able to manage your stress, happy, love your life and yourself, no need to change.  Otherwise, think about it.

A person’s description of pain — where it is, when it starts, what helps to relieve it — are key to understanding pain. Only the person with pain knows exactly what it is like, whether mental or physical.

That is exactly why ONLY YOU can figure out where you go from here.  Let go of the need to control and stress will drift from you like the wave retreating into the fold of the ocean.

Make sure you get a good night’s sleep.  Set the stage and when you first are laying down, breath again, with thoughts than enhance you, and enfold you into a sweet slumber. When you are well-rested, you have more energy to get well, to enjoy life, and to do the things that are important to you

Get started now.  Breathe.  Let go of anger and sorrow.  Forgive others errors.  Forgive yourself.  These are major steps towards learning to manage your stress and live a more wonderful and peaceful life.

Seek other help for stress if need be, once you get started with these simple exercises of intellect.  Try yoga.  Walk with a friend.  Sign up for classes or other online help.  CREATE YOUR LIFE!

Truth does not waiver:  When you speak you are prophesizing what happens next!

Words come to life.  If you are negative there is a ninety-nine percent chance that you will get negativity back and have a less than perfect settlement of the “challenge” you face.

I am angry

I don’t know how I will get through this

I can’t forget the past

I won’t ever get out of this mess

These are self-fulfilling prophecies.  As sure as these words come out of your mouth, they have been engaged in the cycle of coming to life – in your life!

“The relation that exists between the mind and body is very intimate. When one is affected, the other sympathizes. The condition of the mind affects the health to a far greater degree than many realize. Many of the diseases from which men suffer are the result of mental depression. Grief, anxiety, discontent, remorse, guilt, distrust, all tend to break down the life forces and to invite decay and death….

Courage, hope, faith, sympathy, and love, promote health and prolong life. A contented mind, a cheerful spirit, is health to the body and strength to the soul.”

Ellen G. White

1827-1915

These words were written many, many years ago, but they are the absolute truth, and truth NEVER waivers.

If you practice these three simple techniques, you will find your life will actually improve in many ways.  Stress management is up to you though – no matter how you “say” you want to change, YOU are the only one that can instigate change….and you are the only one who can practice, therein creating new brain cell impressions and new feelings about a stressful scenario.

1.  The number one management technique is using your oxygen in a crisis situation.  Take a few breaths to get the oxygen you need.  It will also give you a few moments to think about your coming response.

2.  Drop the negative words and EVEN IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE IT works such miracle changes, incorporate positive words.  If you are thinking “impossible” – don’t!  Think instead, “I can do this.”  Words CAN empower you.

3.  Speak slowly and calmly.  Never let anyone or any challenge turn you into a nasty, mouthy, and dull witted person!  Don’t let anything change your life like that without your permission!

4.  Never forget (particularly with women) – WORDS can pierce a person’s heart with the same intensity and pain that a sharp sword would deliver.  Most physical pain is healed with time, but ill spoken and cruel words can pierce a person’s heart over and over again, and sometimes, stay with a person for his or her life.

(If you are faced with challenge after challenge in the stress arena, it may be time to seek outside help such as counseling, classes,  various forms of yoga, meditation classes, CD relaxation tapes, or perhaps a church group.  You have one mind and you don’t want to loose it to stress!)

YES YOU CAN!

It is built into human nature to survive.  The majority of human beings (without alcohol and drugs being involved) are able to recover from almost anything!  If you think not, think again.  Just ask a Marine who has lost his limbs and has to start all over again or perhaps a young woman who finds herself a widow, or a mother who has been physically and/or verbally abused.  These are REAL scenarios.  RECOVERY is possible and will be faster than you think if you begin now.

You are NOT ALONE! The total numbers of U.S. divorces (excluding non-counting states) reported in the year 2000 was a staggering nine hundred and fifty seven thousand, two hundred and twenty for that year alone.  This statistic was ten years ago.  Statistics haven’t gotten better!

This figure didn’t include broken love affairs, broken friendships, or unreported instances of “some kind” of break-up.

Every human on this planet earth has felt emotions of despair at one time or another.  We all suffer LOSS.

You can start today by learning to use your oxygen.  (See yesterday’s post).  This is the first step.

Whether you have stopped loving someone, the love has changed, or you have lost someone to the final chapter of this life, you can recover.

There will be tears, and a flood of other emotions initially.  This is the way human beings are built.  If there is no sadness, and only rage and hatred, you have the opportunity now to begin again too.  (Start with the breathing technique in the last post.) When you feel rage you actually begin to breathe in a shallow manner and you need more oxygen for your brain to calm down!  More oxygen is necessary to think intelligently.

Remember:  What has happened is a done deal.  IF you have had this kind of loss the best thing you can do is move forward.

Acceptance.  Acceptance is primary.  What was then, is now changed.  This is life.  Life is a series of changes.

No one is telling you to not be sad, or feel insecure, or not to have regrets.  These things all seem to be a part of “pre-recovery”.  But don’t spend the next year of your life mourning.

It does not change things.

You can’t go back to “the good old days”.  They are the past.

Your goal now is to move forward, allow yourself a limited amount of time to mourn your loss – and if you were instrumental in making the changes then RECALL what prompted you to do so.  You must have been good reasons. Sometimes our emotions get in the way of our intellect and blur our memory of the “why” of things. Remember what prompted your actions.

This is not a post to sound cold and harsh.  It is a reality check.

The reality of the loss of any relationship or another human is deeply felt – but there must be a limit.  You will go forward.

Diversion is great therapy.  Join a stress management group; take yoga, or seek friendships through church or work.

“Busy hands are happy hands” makes sense.  If you stay busy you won’t have so much time to dwell on the past.  Volunteer; get together with family or old friends.

Lastly – quit dissecting what happened.  Men are much better at dropping a subject than women.  When it’s done for men it’s usually done.  Women like to go over and over it again, and truthfully, that is not a healthy way to recover.

Take a breath.  Say a prayer.  Life goes on and it can move oftentimes to many more wonderful times in the future; times you never imagined.   It’s up to you now.  Take a breath and start your life over.  Be rid of the negativity and start with a positive thought:  “I am healing!”

Change is certainly not always predictable.  There will be physical changes as the years increase, changes at work, changes at school and home, and most likely, changes in relationships.  This is life.

Change can be exhilarating and sometimes frightening.  Any change will have a considerable psychological impact on the human mind.  To those who are fearful to begin with, change is threatening because it means that things “may” get worse.

To those who are positive and hopeful, change is encouraging because things may get better.  For those individuals who are confident, change often inspires because of the challenges that exist to make things better.

In order to manage the stress of change,  whether good or bad, use these quick tips to begin to learn to flow with what is happening:

1.  Always remember when a change is imminent to use your oxygen first.  When we are bombarded with stress our oxygen is your first defense to keep your wits about you.  Remember stress causes us to breathe shallow, therein restricting the needed supply of oxygen to think optimally and respond instead of reacting.

2.  Stay healthy.  Even if you eat moderately nutritiously and exercise only moderately – you can – with a busy schedule, stay healthier than if you simply neglect these things.  Good health makes it easier to manage stress because you aren’t fighting stress and poor health!

3.  Learn to accept the fact you CANNOT CONTROL EVERY ASPECT OF YOUR LIFE.  That is not realistic.  If you are able to stay flexible and use a fine mix of intellect melding with emotion, you will find ANY scenario more manageable.

4.  Do reserve time for you to THINK.  You may need time to re-evaluate the situation, or simply time meditate or pray about it.  Time to focus on your own plan of action.  Time to find the right attitude and courage.  These things can be found from within if you just take a few minutes each day to reconcile your mind and heart with what is happening in your life.  It takes practice to make these CHANGES, but the time is worth it in every moment of your life, from this time forward.

5.  Pay attention to positive thoughts and feedback from those who obviously have climbed the mountains before you.

“Things do not change: we change.”

Henry David Thoreau

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“The universe is change; our life is what our thoughts make it.”

Marcus Arelius Antoninus

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“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.  The courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Serenity Prayer

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,

]]> http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/04/change-can-be-overwhelming/feed/ 0 http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/03/death/ http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/2010/03/death/#comments Thu, 25 Mar 2010 16:10:45 +0000 Marsha http://www.stressmanagementmagic.com/?p=386 Death is never easy, whether your relative or friend dies at a hospital, or home, or in your arms.  No matter how prepared you think you are for the event, temporarily you may hit the bottom of the barrel.  It is a shock.  No one ever thinks death will hit home so closely.

The reality of life is that all humans are bound to die at some point.  That is simply part of life.  It doesn’t make it easier to accept when it happens.

What you can do is this.  Pull yourself together by allowing yourself to have moments to breathe and cry. It’s absolutely okay to have personal periods of mourning and learning to accept the loss.

Contact family and friends for support.  You will be amazed at how everyone will pull together to help you, if they can.

If no one lives near you, or you are absolutely alone, try to find human contact however you can.  Very few people will simply extricate themselves for any length of time from others, though a few people really will choose to mourn privately.  It is a choice.

What has happened is the starkest moment of realization that you are alive. No one knows why one person dies and another remains a living soul.  You now realize, more than ever, life is fragile and there is no guarantee of time allotted to do the things you are working towards.

From the prospective of stress management, remember it will take time to adjust to the fact that this human relationship has ended forever.  Do not be too hard on yourself for any dissension you had prior to the death of this individual.  It happens.  It has no merit now to torture yourself for mistakes you may have made in the relationship with the departed.

Unresolved scenarios are the most difficult to handle, but handle it you will – you have no choice except to do so.  Forgive yourself and find peace where you can.

Initially there will be a brief blitz when people arrive to offer their consolation.  There will be a flurry of activities, food, flowers and hugs.  There will probably be a service and prayers offered.

However the final good-by is handled, whether there is a cremation or burial, remember to use your mindful breathing to calm yourself and help you find a tender mix of intelligent choices with your emotions

Everyone responds differently.  You will find unexpected people popping in to offer sympathy.  Others you may have assumed would be there simply may not opt to, or be able to be there for the events

Try to have great understanding in this are as they have the right to handle “death” in whatever manner they are able. There is no hard and fast rulebook on reactions that may manifest.

Be respectful and supportive of the individual’s decisions in this matter.  Remember too, with the economic trials many people face, it simply may not be possible for family or friends to drop everything, get off work, or travel to be by your side.

Remember the great moments.  Revel in the time spent together with the deceased.  There are stages of grief and you will experience every one of them during the healing process.

For now, take a breath; use your oxygen to empower yourself. You are alive and able to make changes right now!  Don’t punish yourself for the fact you are still here – be grateful you have the opportunity to go forth in a positive and powerful way.  Make your life worthwhile by living it moment-by-moment to the best of your ability and attending to what is really important.

Take a breath.  Say a prayer.  Hug someone.  Tell someone you love him or her.    Spend time with those people in your circle of life and move forth to heal.  Celebrate life. There is no other GOOD choice.

“What exactly does that mean?” you may ask.

It means simply that while you may be an expert at managing all the tasks at hand – whether it means completing a report at the office, finishing a term paper, or multi-tasking for three or four school age children, who have different directions to go, you don’t know how to manage yourself!

You may feel an overload of stress and rather overwhelmed, but you make sure everything is done to the best of your ability. The stressors mount and you pile them neatly within your mind, to deal with later, “when you have time”.

The disaster comes when a “trigger” sets of a string of emotions, in motion, and you have not yet to learned to manage you!

Negative stress is DISTRESS.  Distress causes failure.  Overworking and not coping can destroy your life.  We all experience distress from time to time, it is normal, and unavoidable part of living, but long term chronic stress is positively dangerous and can lead to severe mental and physical disability.

The good news is that you are actively seeking help or you wouldn’t be reading this post right now.  That is an excellent beginning.

Follow up with the same kind of plan you would improvise for work, or school, or the family.  Self-management is an essential skill to deal with all your psychological and physical stress.

Take the time to set you own personal goals.  Create clear goals for everything from exercise to nutrition.  Make room for a class in meditation or yoga.

Begin to take “mini-breathing” breaks throughout the day.  Just take a minute or two at your convenience, using deep inhalations and slow exhalations, fully exhaling.  As you inhale think: I am regenerating my oxygen machine.”  As you exhale think:  I am releasing negative and limiting thoughts.”

Stretch just a bit throughout the day, as well.  Simple stretches will do.  Arms overhead, hands clasp and stretching forward, gently rolling the head from shoulder to shoulder, pointing the toes and then pressing them back towards your body – any or all of these will really help keep you more relaxed.

Remember that if you fall apart you won’t be any good for anyone!  All those professional and personal dreams will fade away if you don’t care for you!

It doesn’t matter how “warm and fuzzy” you feel towards your children, when they reach pre-teen and teenage years, you will begin to feel the stress mount.

These are the times you children will begin to spread their wings and hone their skills for adulthood.  These are the times they will begin to voice strong opinions and do seemingly arrogant acts of defiance.

Remember these things come with the territory and are natural.  Many times what “appears” to be open resistance to your rules are just a natural spurt of independence, perhaps not performed as optimally you would hope for, but nonetheless, this will happen.

First in the line of defense (for your own intellect and calmness in the situation) – use your secret weapon. Begin breathing deeply and slowly and exhaling in the same manner.  This will calm you and help your brain to get the oxygen for a better response.  Being reminded of our gift of breathing is not a bad thing.  The more you are reminded, and use the gift, the more effectively you will handle the myriad of scenarios that will come.

Parents can make a huge difference in providing guidance and support for their teens.  At times it may not seem like your teen wants you around, and he or she may not all the time, but your child really does need you and knows you care.

Try to spend positive times together.  It’s impossible to love your teen too much.  Try to stay close and warm.  Remember to say, “I love you”.

Of course you have to set limits and structure.  You have to be clear in communication and let the teen know what you expect.  Rules and expectations should change throughout your child’s life, but all children need boundaries, discipline and love – and in that order.

One of the most important things is to be consistent.  Be consistent with your partner, and be consistent if you are alone.  Mixed messages can lead to frustration for parents and children.  The children need consistency to help them to learn to structure their lives.

Try to stay involved in your teen’s life.  Ask questions about school, schoolwork, and friends.  Attend your teen’s extracurricular activities.  Whether they say so or not, they NEED to know you are just as interested in them now as when they were younger.  Meet families of those teens that spend a large portion with your teens.

Explain yourself with discussion – not with yelling and abusive language.  Discuss the reasons for your rules and what consequences they may face for not following them.  Respect your teen and the teen will respect you.

TRY WITH ALL YOUR MIGHT not to use HARSH discipline.  Harsh discipline includes yelling, slapping, hitting, and belittling.  If the situation is volatile, take a “break” and each of you pull yourself together and calm down for a while.  Words cut like a knife and you don’t want to regret your years down the road.  Besides, impulsive or reactive behavior just instigates a negative response from your teen and nothing will get accomplished.

Pick your arguments.  There will be many opportunities to disagree, but unless the scenario is life-threatening or really may be a danger to your child, remember they do need to do a certain amount of decision making that is positive and empowering to them.

Your teen is changing.  Physically, emotionally and cognitively, your teen is preparing for life as an adult in a difficult and trying world.  Be patient.  In the long run you will be glad you did.

Keep in mind, these youngsters are experiencing the most stress thus far in their young lives.  Try to be empathetic and remember how difficult it was!

If you need to get help, look for resources locally, and on line.

If you do these things your life and the life of your teen will be one hundred percent better!  Be on the teen’s side from an adult view, not another stumbling block in the path of their maturing.  Remember how much you loved them before this age and still do!

Take a breath and remember:” This too shall pass”.

Stress “Unmanaged” Will cause violence in a staggering number of people. It is almost inevitable!

Whether we choose to believe it or not, stress unmanaged will ultimately cause violence in many people.  Domestic violence, abuse towards children, intimate partners, (regardless of gender) and the elderly is on the rise.

Stress unmanaged can change of the body chemistry and can do can do infinite damage to credible brain function management. Anger causes words to cut to the heart, and actions to damage the recipient for his or her entire life in many circumstances.

Don’t be fooled.  Don’t be naïve.

There is a boiling point for water and for human emotions.  Whether the water stays in the pot or boils over, ultimately that, which is in the circumference of the pot, can be damaged or ruined entirely. .

Such is it with human behavior. Consequences of unmanaged stresses inflict suffering and can be life threatening.

Family conflicts are usually the result of stresses created in dysfunctional families.  Low levels of family conflict are warning signs for families that they are at risk of much greater abuse.  Any family member may intentionally or unintentionally contribute to the escalation of violence.

Stress is often created by feelings of hopelessness and or helplessness.  Other things that add to that could be excessive work hours, financial strain, and alcohol or drug abuse.

Personality disorders and/or early traumatic life experiences often predispose people to use violence in their own family relationships as adults.

Arguments created by stress can escalate.  Spontaneous arguments can lead to threats or actual physical assaults…without specific patterns, but they almost invariably escalate to more serious and injurious physical assaults.

We like to think “things” will resolve, or time will pass to “make it better”. For those individuals with particular personality traits or particular body chemistry, the danger lurks in close proximity to all who are near.

If YOU or someone near you is within the perimeters of this description, do something! Whether it be finding counsel (and if it is for YOU – please – do it now!) or just talking with family to consider action.

SOMETHING NEEDS TO BE DONE IMMEDIATELY>not just for the individual, but also for all who may tread in the same path, either by coincidence, or choice.

It YOU one of the people referred to in the paragraphs above, PLEASE take a slow breathe now in though the nose.  Now exhale slowly through the mouth.  Please do it again several times.

The added oxygen will calm you and help you to think more rationally, and remember, you have already taken the first step towards helping yourself by searching the Internet!  Don’t give up.  Don’t give in.  Connect with someone – perhaps a local group that deals with anger management.  Take time for yourself – you can’t afford not to do so!

If you are totally overwhelmed and need help and don’t know who to turn to you can email:  mo@jett.net.You are not alone.

Be careful – You will get what you desire and think about.

Whatever you pay attention to, whatever you dwell upon, will ultimately manifest in your life.

You can choose your thoughts.

You are the energy you project, whether it is negative or positive.

From your perceptions you conceive much of your life.

Find celebrations in the moment. Don’t regret the past, for it is the past and experiences can be tools for learning. It cannot be changed.  Don’t anticipate trials and fears happening in the future, for they may never happen.

The power of your thoughts is real. Never let another person, or a scenario in life, enhance your healing, your thoughts, your heart. You are in charge of you.

Seeds have been planted in us all our lives.  Many of them, tragically, planted from failings of other generations long ago, transported as habit, doing great harm decades later.

Start to plant your own garden.  Create and elevate the thoughts that will bring the reality you choose into your life.

You can’t celebrate what you can’t detect.  Most of us are living in the fog of our own thoughts, unaware of the blue sky above.  You are so much more than your negative and limiting thoughts. Let go.  Happiness can be yours this very instant, if only this instant.  The moment can be yours.

Mind over matter works in stressful times

Exercising your mind will help manage your stress.  It doesn’t matter if you are about to begin the performance of a lifetime, start a project of killer magnitude, attend the funeral of a best friend, or visit your in-laws:

WHATEVER NEEDS TO

BE DONE CAN BE DONE MORE EFFECTIVELY WHEN YOU EXERCISE YOUR MIND.  IF YOU ARE IN CONTROL OF YOUR MIND, YOU WILL BE IN CONTROL OF YOUR “MATTER” (your own body).

You need to begin to take charge and learn that you can manage whatever the circumstances may render necessary. If you exercise your thoughts, your resolve will be finer.

No matter what the circumstance, think about your oxygen and take a breath!  Take another and exhale deeply, regaining your composure; get the oxygen to the brain for this oxygen machine.

Kill the pain with internal pharmaceuticals and positive thoughts created by you.  Regenerate.  Relax and take control of your life.  In that moment or two you supply your “tank” with premium oxygen, your brain will charge and the more profitable and beneficial response will then come to fruition.  It will happen.

When you think, “I can’t handle this” – think again.  Think instead, “I can and will handle this.”  Take a breath.  Make it happen.  Only you can make it happen.

Tap the resources we all have.  The gold comes from within.