The Stress of having an unemployed husband or mate, AND/OR the stress of being that person
STRESS MILLIONS ARE EXPERIENCING RIGHT NOW!
There are unexpected horror stories happening right now because of the high unemployment rate in our nation. In February alone the number of job losses (reported) is over thirty-five thousand. It is disheartening, to say the least, to be unemployed and not be able to support yourself or a family. This is particularly true for families with children, or with only one member of the family in the work force.
Not only is it stressful because of the financial problems that are accruing, it is devastating to many relationships. Today there are many citizens who have worked all their lives and have now been unemployed, not by choice, for months. There are a growing number of people who have also just given up, and that number isn’t even counted in the unemployment monthly figures.
After a few months of unemployment there rises a feeling of detachment to the work force. As the period of time extends the less current the resume becomes, and the potential for a possible loss of skills can occur.
For the unemployed person there is added worry about how the bills will be paid, often boredom with too much free time, a hit to the ego, and the ever-present luring nature of having a drink to “take off the edge”. The seductive nature of alcohol is a real temptation (after all it is social and legal). It is also easy to have a second drink because “the first one made you feel so good”. Then you think, ” perhaps another just to be social”. The ball is rolling now.
Be careful, alcohol can run you down and kill your relationships, family, and even the potential to ever work again. Motivation is lacking with those who drink regularly – except the motivation to get another drink. Good men (and women) can get caught up in this downward spiral. It happens all the time!
Alcohol is a VERY DANGEROUS drug. Like any drug, it has a cumulative draw. Too much alcohol and lies are congruent. If a person has a blackout there is a huge danger of total ruination, because of actions you can’t remember, the possibility of driving under the influence, and often times, violence.
You don’t want the unemployed person, or yourself, to have to drink and get into that “fake world” where everyone is your best friend, and you all tell each other how great you are, just to regain some confidence. That doesn’t even take into consideration the cost of the alcohol. These days two drinks is the same cost as if you went to the store and bought a bottle!
These truths aren’t meant to freak anyone out, but to simply elevate awareness of potential problems. We are ALL FLAWED human beings the need to be cognizant of the pitfalls and dangers that face so many people are real. It is important for you to be on your toes if “things” seem to be changing.
Be supportive and do understand it’s tough right now. It does not help in most situations to point out how many other people are in similar situations. A person who has been gainfully employed can only stay home so long (particularly with children) before “stir crazy” and “cabin fever” manifest.
Remember, too, particularly a man, may not want to share his insecurity, his concern, or his feelings of failure. As an example of how tough it is right now, there are fifty-one candidates for every one position available in construction! That is staggering.
If you have a genetic connection to alcohol someone with alcoholic tendencies, be aware. Also, for those who simply fall into the pit by circumstance, keep the risks in mind. They are real.
So what can you really do?
1. The first key to stress management will always be learning to use your oxygen to calm yourself down. You will not “react” but “respond” with intellect if you slow down to breathe. When you concentrate on your breath you will be leaving your problems for a short time. You can only think of one thing at a time.
2. If you are the person unemployed, listen to your mate or partner. Really listen. Some things they say may seem unfair to you, but be mature enough to know what is true, and work on the problems.
3. If you are the mate or partner of the person unemployed, be patient. Share your feelings without tearing down the other person. Use your intellect and recognize the difference between someone who is really trying, and someone who is not.
3. Remember fighting will not resolve anything. It will only exacerbate the problem. Again, use your oxygen before opening your mouth! Don’t yell. Everyone concerned is frustrated.
4. Have a “production” meeting and make notes as to possible job opportunities or alternate choices that may work.
5. STAY FLEXIBLE. There are no guarantees of what will happen in the next moment. The only guarantee you have is that if you turn sour or negative, you will definitely ruin your