The reality of life is that all humans are bound to die at some point.  That is simply part of life.  It doesn’t make it easier to accept when it happens.

What you can do is this.  Pull yourself together by allowing yourself to have moments to breathe and cry. It’s absolutely okay to have personal periods of mourning and learning to accept the loss.

Contact family and friends for support.  You will be amazed at how everyone will pull together to help you, if they can.

If no one lives near you, or you are absolutely alone, try to find human contact however you can.  Very few people will simply extricate themselves for any length of time from others, though a few people really will choose to mourn privately.  It is a choice.

What has happened is the starkest moment of realization that you are alive. No one knows why one person dies and another remains a living soul.  You now realize, more than ever, life is fragile and there is no guarantee of time allotted to do the things you are working towards.

From the prospective of stress management, remember it will take time to adjust to the fact that this human relationship has ended forever.  Do not be too hard on yourself for any dissension you had prior to the death of this individual.  It happens.  It has no merit now to torture yourself for mistakes you may have made in the relationship with the departed.

Unresolved scenarios are the most difficult to handle, but handle it you will – you have no choice except to do so.  Forgive yourself and find peace where you can.

Initially there will be a brief blitz when people arrive to offer their consolation.  There will be a flurry of activities, food, flowers and hugs.  There will probably be a service and prayers offered.

However the final good-by is handled, whether there is a cremation or burial, remember to use your mindful breathing to calm yourself and help you find a tender mix of intelligent choices with your emotions

Everyone responds differently.  You will find unexpected people popping in to offer sympathy.  Others you may have assumed would be there simply may not opt to, or be able to be there for the events

Try to have great understanding in this are as they have the right to handle “death” in whatever manner they are able. There is no hard and fast rulebook on reactions that may manifest.

Be respectful and supportive of the individual’s decisions in this matter.  Remember too, with the economic trials many people face, it simply may not be possible for family or friends to drop everything, get off work, or travel to be by your side.

Remember the great moments.  Revel in the time spent together with the deceased.  There are stages of grief and you will experience every one of them during the healing process.

For now, take a breath; use your oxygen to empower yourself. You are alive and able to make changes right now!  Don’t punish yourself for the fact you are still here – be grateful you have the opportunity to go forth in a positive and powerful way.  Make your life worthwhile by living it moment-by-moment to the best of your ability and attending to what is really important.

Take a breath.  Say a prayer.  Hug someone.  Tell someone you love him or her.    Spend time with those people in your circle of life and move forth to heal.  Celebrate life. There is no other GOOD choice.

Life gets harder in the long run.  This statement is not meant to discourage you.  It is simply a fact, another stress that must be met head-on.  That doesn’t mean you can’t meet the challenge.  You were born with an instinct to survive, and along this journey in life there are times that are so spectacular that the “down time” can be met with the knowledge you will be stronger and wiser as years increase.

Part of the reason that life gets harder is because our bodies age, and with aging comes some problems that we just can’t avoid.  Some can be avoided with proper nutrition and exercise, but some changes must simply be accepted.

You are encouraged to continue to learn stress management and seek good mental and physical health.  No one in the years past age fifty can promenade “back” to the good old days.  Even those of you in your thirties won’t be able to turn back the clock.  Your age is a done deal, so acceptance is imperative, and your true beauty is honestly reflected in your heart and mind.

When your reality seems more like “bleak than bling”, keep these thoughts in mind.

1.  You are not alone.  Every single human being faces these same problems -aging and sometimes trying to find a reason to live.

2.  If you are aging, you aren’t dead.  If you aren’t dead then there is a reason to live; you just may not recognize it at the moment!   Take time to counsel with others. There is help available, and no one will judge you. We’ve all needed help at one time or another.  Just getting your feelings out in the open and sharing with someone will help.

3.   Part of the reason you may feel that life just isn’t worth it, is the fact these are difficult times, and are often compounded by personal traumas.  Try to sit back and change your perspective of the scenario that is your biggest stumbling block. .  Sometimes we are so emotionally charged we neglect to focus clearly on options.

4.  Enter the world of volunteering your time.  Why? Because you will divert your own attention to something worthwhile and in the process you may find many reasons to live.

5.  Remember the one thing you can count on is CHANGE.  Whatever the problem is – everything can change in the blink of an eye. What seems an insurmountable problem at this moment may be handled in the next moment.

6.  Because you are overwhelmed by stress you have probably begun shallow breathing.  Your body needs oxygen.  Concentrate on deep breathing and getting what you need to supply your body and mind optimally.

7.  If you are using alcohol to “relax”, keep in mind it is a stimulant.  After the rush and purported relaxation there will be the letdown.  The chemical reaction is always the same.  Don’t be deceived.

8. Pray.  It can’t hurt, and even if you don’t believe, you will mentally be releasing your concerns and thoughts. This action can help and is a positive step towards your healing.

A great thought for those thoroughly challenging times:  LIFE ISN’T ABOUT HOW TO SURVIVE THE STORM…BUT HOW TO DANCE IN THE RAIN!

Over one and one-half million people experience this disorder each year

Seasonal affective disorder, or SAD, is a type of depression that affects a person during the same season each year. If you get depressed in the winter, but often feel much better in spring and summer, you may have seasonal affective disorder.

This disorder can cause inordinate feelings or behavior, and can compound the “stress factor”; particularly for those already feeling overwhelmed by daily stressors.

You may have normal mental health throughout the majority of the year, but SAD can affect anyone.  It is most common among people with age ranging from fifteen to fifty-five.  It is especially common for women, though men have experienced SAD too.

It is especially prevalent for those who live in areas where winter days are very short, or there are big changes in the amount of daylight in the different seasons.

Symptoms

If you have SAD, you may feel grumpy, moody, anxious, or actually sad. You may lose interest in your usual activities and eat more and crave carbohydrates such as bread and pasta, gain weight, sleep more, feel drowsy during the daytime, and/or experience a lack of energy.

Immediate Help

There will never be more immediate help to level your emotions than the use of your own oxygen!  When we suffer any of the symptoms, without thinking about it, we slow our breathing and really deprive our body of the oxygen it needs to maintain peace and find some relief.

Initially remember, if you are concentrating on your breathing, your mind will be centered on that job (breathing). The brain, as magnificent as it is, can only THINK of one thing at a time.  It will divert your attention temporarily to more positive thoughts.

As you breathe and move you create endorphins that make you “feel good”. You’ve probably heard of a “runners “high”.  That is born of use of the breath, and the movements of the body creating those feel good endorphins.

You have much more control over the way you think and the way you feel than you may know.  The magic here is that you must PERFORM and REPEAT what will ultimately transform your life.

Classical Treatments

There are many different treatments for this classic seasonal disorder.  SAD is treated with light therapy, antidepressant medication, cognitive-behavioral therapy, the hormone supplement melatonin, or possibly counseling. Talk to your doctor if you are experiencing symptoms of SAD.

Though symptoms can be severe, most symptoms usually clear up.

Sudden weight loss or weight gain

Tired but can’t sleep, excessive fatigue

Speech difficulties, impatience

Headaches, repeated colds or flu

Nail biting, teeth grinding

Low or high blood sugar

Low or high blood pressure

High cholesterol or triglycerides

Ulcers and gastric disturbances

Chest pains, muscle aches

Lower back, shoulder, neck pain

Menstrual problems, hair loss

Forgetfulness, withdrawal from social life

The consequences of allowing stress to rule your life can be mentally and physically debilitating!

If you have more than two or three of these signs, and honestly feel you simply will not attempt to learn to manage by yourself, consider that it might be time for you to speak to a professional in person.  A counselor, your physician, or a specialist in this fieldt that you can speak with, eye to eye.  You do not want to ignore your symptoms any longer.

If you are willing to give it a go, then begin right now.  First, take a minute or two, and inhale through your nose slowly.  Next exhale through your mouth.  Do this several times and you will be fortifying your brain for new thoughts and optimum intellect.

Here are some tips that will get you started.

1.  Remember a sedentary lifestyle often accompanies and accelerates out of control stress.  Exercise.  Simply walking an extra ten minutes a day will suffice to get started.  Walk in place in front of the television, or standing in front of the computer.  Find a parking space further from the stores you frequent.  Walk the dog and you’ll both be happier.

2.  Quit anticipating the worst.  We have no guarantee of the very next moment and we stall our own progress with fears of impending doom.  Drop negative thinking and a negative vocabulary.  Listen to your own words and make them positive.

3.  Accept the fact, if you are in a stage of your life that feels more stressful than normal, and then start doing something about making changes.  Often the thought of change doesn’t feel as cozy and as safe as the current position you are in, but change is what you need if your stress level is out of control.

4.  Realize there are risks (physically and mentally) if you stay continually stressed out about everything.  Serious risks. Keep in mind, if you feel you’ve hit rock bottom, the only way is up.

5.  Remember to use your oxygen as a secret weapon.  Whenever you feel overwhelmed, let a bell ring in your head and think of it this way: “I will breathe in help to regenerate, relax, and respond better.  I will exhale all those thoughts that are negative and seemingly impossible at the moment.  I can begin life again this very moment.”  Your mind and body will respond and you WILL BE EMPOWERED.  Keep remembering the mind works this way and so does the physiology of the body.

6.  Lighten up on the junk food.  What you put into your body does matter.  The mind and body require nutrition to function properly.  Make sure you drink enough water to keep the system working effectively for you.

The choice is yours and yours alone. You CAN use your intellect to overcome any habitual feelings that fill you with sorrow, or anger, or empty you of any feelings at all.  It takes practice, but the effort will reap the rewards of peace and happiness. .

Again.  The choice is yours, and yours alone.  You can remain miserable and stressed out to the max.  You can infect all those around you or you can WORK at practicing new thoughts and new ways.

Take another breath and get started right now.  There is no time like the present.  Actually there is no time but the present!  Use it wisely.

This is why. It is just the physiology (the way in which a living organism, or body parts function) of the body we live in.  This is how it works.

When you walk, you pump up the oxygen in this oxygen machine. This is good. When we are lonely, depressed, or even in pain, somehow we seem to use less oxygen.  We may slump over, or cringe in pain, whatever the reason – it has been proven we breathe less!

As we walk we take in more oxygen and our entire body becomes better immediately. We are receiving oxygen to think optimally, more oxygen to go to injured areas to help the healing, to let the organs, muscles, ligaments, tendons, etc. get the oxygen they so need.

Also, and here is a GIANT plus: when we walk we create endorphins (they are peptides that activate the body’s opiate receptors), and they help with pain! It is a pharmacy from within you creating opium and morphine like pain medication for you.

Have you ever heard of a “runner’s high”? You don’t have to run to have that happen. Action creates those feel good feelings we all so desire. All you have to do is walk. The body creates the positive endorphins that actually make you happier!

Even if you think this can’t be true, it is. Give it a try. Also try to use your intellect by NOT crowding out the true goodness to come with negative thoughts. Use mindful breathing when you are walking and your circulation will improve and your blood pressure will even drop a bit.

“Oh, this won’t work”, and so forth. It will work. Use that intellect and help the process along by thinking “I am doing the right thing for my body and this will work.” You will also create positive brain cells! YES YOU WILL!

You do not have to be lonely, depressed, or often times in pain. This is stress management magic in action.  Divert your attention from these emotions and pay attention to moving your body.  Use the brain and body magic by walking. Be consistent. You consistently shop, work, buy groceries, clean the house, and so forth.   Consistently walk each day – even 10 minutes will help!  Even standing in front of the television walking in place will help.

This is the only body you have to live in, so please care for it.  As you move your emotions will improve to a more positive level. Magic WILL HAPPEN!

Have a wonderful day and now, if you are able, GET UP AND GO TAKE A SHORT WALK. Even if it’s just around the house or the office, whatever you can do will help.

YOU ARE WORTH IT.

There are common events such as promotions, relocations, divorce, parenthood, loss of job, death of a loved one, and numerous other events.

Whether these changes are welcome or unwelcome, all can be extremely stressful unless we learn how to adjust to them. Taking the time to recover, refocus and regenerate, following life changes can help us survive and oftentimes thrive.

Recover

After a major life change, you need to regain your sense of balance and routine.  Your situation may be, at least currently, stressful, challenging, or unfamiliar.  You may have symptoms such as depression, headaches, and / or backaches.

To begin recovery, it will help to step back from your new situation.  Take time just for you.  Plan a weekend get-away, or make time for “mini-breaks” such as a trip to the library or movies.

Exercise and sharing your feelings with others are excellent stress reducers.  You need to step back from your new situation so you are able to get distance and a true perspective.

Refocus

Stop!  Take a breath.  Take two.  There is still no charge for your oxygen, and it will help you to “perceive”, or to look at the big picture.  You will gain greater peace of mind about the change if you can step back and give your intellect an equal moment of time you give your emotions.

Take time to think about what has happened, why, and what it might mean. You will probably realize your feelings are mixed.

For example, if you’ve had a fight with a relative, you might feel relieved (the relationship might have been tense for a while), and uncomfortable in another (you love that person and don’t want a breech in the relationship.)

You may feel sad or angry about having to let go of familiar people and routines.  With time, those feelings will change.  Talking to trusted friends, family members, a counselor, or human resource professional may speed the process.

Regenerate

ALL major changes can be very stressful for your body, and your body needs time to heal.  Though it is mandatory that you settle your mind first, your body should not be neglected.

Get extra rest; avoid alcohol, cigarettes and drugs.  They just intensify the problems.  Try to increase your circle of support.  This is very important.  Connect with new people or reinforce old friendships.

No one can escape change.  It is inevitable.  Life is about change. Accepting the fact that change has taken place is important.  Take steps to recover, refocus and regenerate.  You will find acceptance easier.  These steps will help you successfully make the change part of your life.

No matter what age you are, good health habits are a huge part of taking care of yourself.  Practicing good habits do not guarantee that you will never get sick, or that you will live longer, but they will improve the way you feel and the quality of your life.  They also build your immunity, which can keep you from “catching” frequent colds and letting illness rule your life.

You only have one body to live in, so let’s review a bit of pertinent information. It’s not as difficult as you think.

Stay active with exercise

Don’t respond with “I hate exercise”.  Exercise does not mean you have to spend your life at the gym.  It should be fun, interchangeable, and something that will trigger excitement instead of dread.

There is a world of wonderful ways to get exercise.  The first one is simply walking.   A recent study showed that by taking a brisk, half-hour walk just six times a month, you cut the risk of early death by forty-four percent!  That’s astounding.

If you just can’t “squeeze” that into your schedule – first of all, shame on you!  You are worth that minimum amount of time to keep your body healthy.  After all, if you aren’t healthy you can’t perform any function optimally.  The world that surrounds you, family, work, friends, peers, will all NOT GET the best of you – so take a breath and read on.

If you still reconcile that you cannot afford that amount of time, do this:  Park further from the store.  On a break walk (even if it’s up and down the back stairs or through the office.)

Take your lunch and find a friend and walk the first fifteen minutes.  Stand in front of the television and walk in place.

Anything you do will help to better your health.  The trick is to do it regularly.  Get in the habit of allowing you that minimal amount of time to help your mind and body.

Your circulation will be better and you will return to your job refreshed.  A ten-minute walk can be relaxing and invigorating too.

You can join a health club.  Take a yoga class, walk with a friend, or play tennis.  Vacuum. That may not be the most fun, but consider it a dance, and sing, and it will be better.  Even gardening is a great exercise.  Body movement and breathing are keys to good health.

Exercise has many benefits.  It reduces STRESS, boredom, depression, and improves sleep.  It improves the skin and muscle tone.  It improves blood circulation, balance and flexibility.  It lowers blood pressure and even reduces the risk for adult-onset diabetes.

So now – get up and shake everything.  Take a breath.  Come

on, it’s you LIFE!  Do something to make it better.  This is easy stuff.  Take another breath and stretch your arms above your head and remember – “I am alive.  I can do whatever I choosIt’s REALLY my option!”

CREATE a wonderful life.  Don’t be foolish.  I was.  Remember, no matter what happens, it’s your response that changes everything!

Once in a while it really is okay to cry.  Even if you are a guy sometimes it may be one of the only ways you find to release stress from within.

We often hide anxiety, concerns about finances, thoughts of injustice, resentments, or feelings of inadequacy.  We go on and on with these feelings, and others, building up inside of us.

This website will always honestly face the same challenging scenarios that face us all at one time or another.  Our resolve will be carried out together, realistically.

This morning I realized that I had allowed some emotions to be pent up inside of me.  I really didn’t know it consciously, but when this particular person was accusing and negative towards me, wrongfully, I felt, I went to a personal space and burst into tears.

If you’ve ever cried like a child, you can visualize my mix of flowing tears and sobbing sounds.  It was as if the dam inside had burst and came roaring out of me.

I allowed myself to cry until the tears stopped and I was left only with that sighing that can’t be helped after crying hard.  It felt good to release all those thoughts that were pent up inside about this particular person.  I felt somehow cleansed of the hurt, and I know for sure my eyes got a good cleansing.

With that release of stress out of the way, I was able to modify intrusive thoughts that were based strictly on emotion, but without that fine mix of intellect we need to face our challenges.

I began to breathe calmly and mindfully, as we can do right now.  Inhale through the nose and visualize your mind and body calming because it is receiving excellent oxygen.

Exhale through the mouth visualize this to be the “house-cleaning” of negativity and wasted worry.  Repeat the inhalation slowly, as I too am doing, and then exhale again slowly.

Just a few mindful breaths throughout the day can be one of the simplest and most important techniques in managing stress.

Allow you to bawl loudly or even just weep quietly once in a while.  There is no shame in it, and it can be a very healthy release of pent up emotions.

I feel really ready to tackle the day’s challenges now, and hope you do too!